The Story Of Sarelle: The Immortal Years
by DeepCrimson91
Summary: Sequel to The Story of Sarelle. Sarelle St Clair has been a vampire for 137 years. This story delves into those years and follows the events that happen after the pivotal date of the 4th July 2047. Will anything be what it once was?
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

A supernova is a thing of beauty. A cataclysmic event that changes everything. From such violence so many things can be reborn, and so many others thrown on the wayside. The simple logistics of it are enough to make a mind rethink the very workings of the universe. It fuels its own destruction, it's own change of form. The energy it exudes is just a fraction of what it built within, what will eventual turn it to universal dust.

A supernova is a beautiful thing, but like all beautiful things it comes with great consequence and the knowledge that once it has happened, nothing will ever exist the way it once had.

I knew this for fact...

_13th June 2047_

One hundred and Thirty-seven years since this place became what it is now—a place for flowers, sunshine, and a vampire's regrets. So many visits, so many moments of planting flowers, pretty purple flowers. And yet my human feet only touched upon this ground ninety-five years ago. My little human feet, led by a dead man's hand to stand in this pool of sunshine and natural wonder that my own rage had created fifty two years before.

A twisted story to say the least, but how else could it ever have been? Twists were what I was made of, twisted emotions, twisted morals, distorted past, and a future too bent out of shape to predict. Funny how immortality can change so much and yet so little at the same time.

I opened my palm, ignoring how my skin glittered and focussing purely on the petite seed at the centre of my hand. _Knautia arvensis_, one pretty little flower to signify another passing year since I made this place of reverence, this place for my parents' souls to rest—the souls I'd extinguished when I was first changed. The firsts of too many.

I bent in front of the large oak, poking my finger in the soil to create a shallow place to lay the seed to rest, just as I had dug my own parents' graves with my hands. This flower would grow just as all the others had. It would grow and bloom and spread its offspring around it to make this place even more beautiful than it was before. At least that was a positive.

I filled the hole in, and as I crouched there I brought my locket to my lips and kissed the two delicate rings that dangled from the chain.

"I'll never forget," I murmured before rising from the partial shade.

This was tradition, a constant that kept my life from becoming one endless passing of time. It marked my aging and in turn it formed a year by year memory book in my mind. The beginning years were full to the brim of discoveries, struggles, angst, but then everything changed, to some degree. It all started to fall into place when I found him.

My phone buzzed at my side so I slid it from my jeans pocket, smiling at the name before accepting the call.

"Aslo, I was wondering when you would call."

"Am I that predictable, _Kvetina_?" he chuckled down the phone, his native tongue rolling around his pet name for me.

"No, not predictable, although 118 years together does give a girl somewhat of an insight." There was a pause as I ran my hand across the cross one last time. "I miss you, Aslo." The longing was clear in my voice, even I knew that, but he was just another person close to me that I'd lost, if only temporarily.

"I miss you too, Sarelle, but I need to do this, you know that."

Of course I did. It was the hardest decision we'd had to make, to separate our union, but it was for the greater good. After what happened there was no other way. It was either separate and hope we both stayed strong or stay together and drag each other down.

"Yes, I do. It's just hard, that's all, being away from you. I'm so used to...to you being with me."

"Give me time, _Kvetina_, we'll be together again soon, when I'm a strong enough to stand by your side." I sighed at his words. He was always berating himself, comparing himself when there was no need. He was strong, his only weakness was that he didn't believe it.

"It's been five years, Aslo. Five years of just phone calls, emails, letters. I want to see you, have you by my side, talk to you and actually see your face, you know."

"I know, Sarelle, more than anything. But you have the others, don't you? You haven't left, have you?"

"No. No, I'm still at Yellowstone, I don't think I could bring myself to leave them. I can't wait for you to meet them, Aslo."

"Soon, Sarelle. Soon," he said before the line went dead.

His voice had sounded so worried but then again he always did look out for me. Strange considering it was me who did the saving the first time around. That deadly night when I jumped involuntarily yet again and found myself at the battle ground of Aslo and James' quarrel. It was all just a rush after that arrival. James lunged, Aslo dodged, and somewhere after that point he was in my arms and we were somewhere new. Away from danger, away from the asylum, away from James, safe. Except we were away from Alice also, and that fact tore Aslo to shreds, then he nearly tore me to shreds. As I began my run home I let my mind wander back to that life altering event.

_12th September 1919. A forest near Ashland._

_That rush, that all familiar rush that overthrew my senses every time, it was leaving me once again. Leaving me with another hairline hazel fracture across the otherwise fluid appearance of my golden eyes. It was just another crack to add to the others I'd gained from each jump, the electricity leaving its mark on me in the only place it could. Each fracture formed a small segment of my original eye colour, like a mirror falling from its base and revealing the wood beneath. I'd received a few of these cracks, random jumps when my emotions of anger or fear overtook me, charged me, and sent me elsewhere._

_This time is had been fear. The fear of losing him, of watching it happen. He was the last person from my past that I knew I could see without longing for more. Aslo wasn't family, he wasn't a lover or a brother. He was uncomplicated. I couldn't bare the sight of watching him die. At least now I wouldn't have to. I was gone again and I would never see him again. The frantic hugging movement to push him out the way of James was now to be a precious memory, Lord knows I was carrying so many._

_A groan sounded from beside me and I leapt up in an instant, my eyes flashing to search what had managed to get so close without triggering my senses._

_I stood shocked and still as I looked upon Aslo's form laying haphazardly in the grass. His hair was windswept and his clothes were torn and skewed but other than that he looked perfectly whole. Perfectly real._

_"Well...that's never happened before," I whispered incredulously, happiness rising up my throat and spreading to my muscles to create a wide smile._

_Aslo's eyes popped open, black and frantic. "What?" he gasped as he sprang into a crouch._

_It took a minute for him to register my appearance, to truly see me for what I was in front of him. I saw his eyes scan our surroundings as he straightened slightly, a million questions whirring through his gaze._

_"I can't usually bring people with me." My voice was still amazed. This was something extraordinary. I wasn't alone, for the first time in twenty years._

_"Where...where are we?"_

_"I don't know." I took a step forward, half catching myself from springing at him and wrapping him in my arms. He was here and that meant I would never have to be alone again. I wouldn't have to learn this life without aid. It could be like it used to be, Aslo and me, mentor and student._

_"No!" he went to run for me but instead turned and smashed the nearest tree through with his fist. "You made me leave her!" he roared as he turned towards me._

_"Who?" I asked stunned by his fury. I'd saved his life, James was going to kill him._

_Then realisation hit. "Mary? Do you mean I made you leave Mary?" I took a cautious step towards him even though his posture and expression screamed for me to run._

_"She's changing. Right now she's changing and that bastard will kill her! Why did you take me? Why?" He pounced on me as his face grew from anger to rage and finally pure desperation. The way his hands curled around my neck was deadly but I knew this wasn't the end. It couldn't be. I was to be victorious not die at the hands of a tortured friend._

_"I didn't do it on purpose. I saved your life!" I spat as I twisted us so I was the one pinning him to the forest floor. I was angry now too. It was a bad habit of being a newly turned vampire. Twenty years wasn't enough to tame the inner rage that tempted me to play with it at every turn. Perhaps it was the violence of my change, or perhaps it was the innate monster, but either way anger had been both a friend and foe these past two decades._

_I growled before I leapt from him, leaving him stunned for a while before he curled up into a tight ball._

_"What kind of life is it if I can't be with her?" Aslo asked as his claw-like hands held his hair tightly._

_"You were never meant for her," I whispered in the hope it might break his torment. Meanwhile I turned to look out into the forest that surrounded us. It was familiar but then most forests seemed the same to me now. _

_"I was never..?But...I loved her."_

_"As if that means a thing," I drawled before turning back to see his eyes searching mine. He looked so broken, so lost. I guess we were lost. We didn't know where we were, just some forest in the middle of somewhere, no home to direct ourselves to. "Aslo, I know her. She's my best friend. I've known her in the 50's, the 40's, I've even known her in the millennium. This was all meant to happen."_

_"She's alive," Aslo said with awe and relief._

_"Yes, and happy. She said she woke up alone, this is why. I stopped you from being there when she woke up. James lied to her. He lied to them all. He never killed you." I smiled as all the pieces came together. To think I had lived my last few human days believing Aslo was dead and gone, when instead it was all just based on a bitter vampire's lie._

_"Why would you think he'd killed me?" Aslo said as he slowly rose from his position on the ground, leaves and debris falling loose around him._

_"Alice, I mean Mary, thought he had, or at least James told her he did, before the Cullens killed him."_

_"The Cullens?" Aslo said with a tilted head, inviting me to tell all so that was what I did, purely the basics who they were how I knew them. I didn't bother with romance stories or tales of woe, they were behind me now._

_"She's with Jasper," Aslo murmured with a desolate tone. God, how I knew that tone, oh so well. The tone of losing the one you loved._

_"Yes, Aslo, but it's what is meant to be, which means there's a reason why she's not with you. There must be someone else you're meant for." I touched his shoulder as we both sat on the tree he had felled._

_"No. It means I'm meant to be alone." He ground out as his hands created sawdust by squeezing around a twig._

_"You're wrong. You're not alone. I'm here." I smiled as he turned to me, dark eyes looking endlessly into mine. Somehow I didn't see my relief or happiness mirrored back at me._

_After a moment he nodded infinitesimally and rose from the trunk in a fluid motion._

_"Can I have some time? Alone," he spoke out to the dimming forest._

_I stood and placed my hand on his shoulder, looking up at his blank face. "Of course. Take as long as you need. I'll wait for you."_

I had waited for days before he finally returned, and now I wait again. After I first brought him with me we had stayed in what was found to be Ashland for a few years, the first of many pit stops during our life together. Those first few years were hard, adapting to each other, adapting to life in the confines of the forest, and most of all each of us battling our thirsts. I was still young and although the memory of my parents slaughter aided my self-control there were times when I slipped. Aslo slipped more. His age and natural habits played havoc with his determination. Still, we held onto the idea that we were stronger together than apart. It was only five years ago that we learned different.

_23rd April 2039, New England._

_I used to love the forest, I still did of course but it had lost a certain charm since I became the deadliest predator within it. Birds didn't sing their songs to me and little animals didn't scamper across my path. It was all so silent, a living museum of nature. Of course somewhere I could hear the soft tunes of birdsong, my hearing could stretch far enough to hear such a thing. Still it wasn't quite the same._

_I smiled up at the sky as the sun burst through the clouds to bounce off my skin. Its warmth always brought a smile to my face. It was just another thing to make this day even better. It had been ten years today since we were forced to move, ten years since Aslo's and mine little indiscretion. It wasn't that little to be fair, a four person massacre was probably quite a large thing, although I still standby my theory that they deserved it. When I had seen that poor girl trapped in their hands I couldn't help myself. I saw myself in her eyes, the old me so angry and scared. Aslo just followed my lead as I launched for the first man's throat. I swear justice had never tasted so good._

_Still it was a slip in our promise to live on the animal diet, and it certainly didn't help us to resist afterwards. Somehow, however, we had. We had managed ten years without a single drop of human blood on our lips. Right to the very day._

_I hummed my serenade as I wove through the trees at a leisurely pace, heading back towards home. Or at least what was home for now. It was a little red brick two bedroom house, two floors, nice open plan kitchen diner—not that we used it. The main plus was that it's garden backed right onto the forest, ideal for us. Another benefit was that it was far enough from humans to ease the thirst but there were enough around to keep our resistance up. The perfect balance._

_I said goodbye to the sun as I returned to the emerald hue of the forest, the house in sight._

_Just then a short breeze brought with it a delicious smell, a sinful mix of warmth and vitality. Blood, human blood. However the paling scent told me it was spilt from a body not a living human. It was still tempting, but I kept my monster at bay. Maybe someone had just injured themselves, carelessly fallen or sliced open their flesh with a cutting knife._

But what if it's something worse..._My mind forced me to wonder._

_I sharpened my gaze on the little red home in front of me. Had Aslo slipped?_

_My leisurely walk broke out into a run, hurling me through the forest and up the back porch steps. _

_The aroma was overwhelming now and so was the sight._

_The once polished maple floor was now smeared with crimson, a river leading towards the helpless body clutched in Aslo's grasp._

_His hands spread across the woman's back as if he were holding her in a loving embrace except there was nothing loving about the ravenous gash he fed from on her neck._

_"Aslo," I said sternly. He didn't pull away until he drew another draught from the vein, decreasing the woman's whimpers to a faint mumbling._

_"What?" he growled around ruby teeth. He looked so feral and so far from the man I knew and loved._

_"What do you mean what?" I screeched before struggling through another inhalation. The woman was still alive, barely but enough for her blood to hold that lively aroma._

_Aslo looked down on the woman and I saw a flash of his true self and the remorse he had grown to feel, but that flash didn't last long._

_"This is natural, Sarelle. You know that," he hissed as he crouched over his kill. I hadn't paid her much attention before but now I looked at her again I recognised some of her features. She was the Christian woman who came around sometimes, doing the doors, selling bibles and ideals. She didn't deserve this._

_"Look at her, Aslo, is that really your true nature?"_

_"This is my true nature, Sarelle." he growled as he pointed to his now ruby eyes. "Why try to live any other way when nature intended this to be our ways?" _

_"The Cullens have succeeded, so it's possible. We just have to try harder. We've managed **ten years**, Aslo," I pleaded. I didn't want to lose him to this, but I couldn't stay with him if this was the life he'd chosen. It wasn't what I wanted._

_"Exactly, Sarelle, **ten years** of a constant struggle. I'm sick of it. But if you think you're so much better than me then you run to your beloved Cullens, try and fit in with them," Aslo spat, as he stepped over the woman's dying body towards the sink._

_I wobbled as he pushed passed me, purely from the shock of what he had said to me. We'd had arguments before, a lot of them. Most were about this topic, but he'd never used the Cullens against me. Then again, he'd always reasoned and agreed to try again, this time was different._

_"Don't be cruel. You know I can't go to them."I glanced at Aslo and saw him place his now clean hands on the edge of the sink, his head bowing._

_He turned suddenly, his face no longer the mask of anger but a soft version of regret._

_"And I can't deny myself, Kvetina. I've lived too long with human blood. You don't understand." His red eyes pleaded with me but I didn't feel anything but hate for their weakness. They screamed his crime at me, even more so than the body of the woman not far from my feet._

_"Fine. Give up. See if I care."_

_"Sarelle... kvetina," he whispered, his eyes watching me frantically._

_"No, Aslo. From now on consider yourself alone because I plan on succeeding, and I won't stand by while you murder for no reason. I can't do it."I stared at him hard in the eyes, and I saw the shutters go back up._

_"When you're done trying to be a saint, call me," He sneered as he went to gather his stuff from upstairs._

_"Yeah and when you're finished being weak you do the same," I roared up the stairs, glaring as he came down with a duffle bag and a clean set of clothes._

_I watched with disgust as he dumped the bag, and in one swift moment snapped the woman's neck. "Waste of perfectly good blood," He drawled before he left, breezing out the door and leaving me with his mess._

I had hated him for a long time after that. It wasn't for leaving me with a dead body in the house, or even committing the murder in the first place. It was because he had just been another person to discard me. He hadn't thought I was worth fighting for and that was something I'd had enough of.

However that hatred soon turned into regret and loneliness because for all our sour words and quarrels I still loved him as the dear friend he had become to me. I missed him and his company, so when I received his phone call five years later and heard his words, his apologies and promises—all was forgiven. Of course at that point it wasn't because I was lonely, I had new friends to stay with, it was purely because I wanted him in my life again. No one could replace him.

I smiled as the memories faded to the background and I focussed on what was home now and had been for five years. It was strange how quickly it had settled into that description and how easily I had fallen into what I now considered to be my family, my coven.

I raced up through the door, shaking my hair out to tame the waves and releasing a few leaves from the mass.

"How do you always managed to bring the forest back with you?" said my sister's voice, her Russian accent barely present.

"Sorry, Tanya," I giggled as she came and gave me my welcome home hug. It had only been a few days since I left. Then again they had lost before, not that they talk of Irina much.

"Would you be adverse to a little night outing this eve?" Tanya quirked her neatly groomed eyebrow as her golden eyes sparkled with mischief.

I grinned with excitement. "I take it, Kate and Garrett are...otherwise occupied."

"And Eleazar and Carmen. Can you believe it, them subjecting their poor sister to such a thing?" Tanya teased, and we both chuckled as we ascended the stairs arm in arm. It was a fact that Tanya had no issues with 'subjecting' us to _her_ exploits.

"It's unbelievable," I gasped in mock horror. As we reached Tanya's room and she dashed to open her wardrobe wide while I perched on her large mulberry bed spread, all satin, velvet and luxury.

"Now what do you think?" she spun holding two equally provocative outfits.

"I think that tonight is going to be a _very_ fun night," I mused before indicating the pale pink slinky dress.

"Oh it will. Now, you wear the midnight blue and the men won't know what's hit them." Tanya thrust a form fitting short dress at me, and I giggled at what the night might bring.

Life with the Denalis was never boring.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

_Thank you for the wonderful reception you've given this sequel. It was pretty overwhelming really. I'll try and reply to every review that's given and answer any questions you have but if I don't do it immediately, don't hate too much :)_

_OK this chapter will show a small slice of how Sarelle has changed and lived throughout the years. She's not the little girl we once knew her as._

_On a final note, teasers are available if requested._

_x_

I knelt down beside the man's sleeping form, placing a light kiss on his warm forehead. The feel of his skin on my lips was like a delicious fire seeping through the surface. His vital blood created a slight fluttering under his skin while its scent filled my mind. He evanesced the smell rosewood, but I could easily smell the spicy scent of ginger, the tell tale sign of our night together. It was intoxicating, that fragrance that came with a man's arousal, and it had been the downfall of so many over the years. I could still remember the first human man I ever slept with as a vampire. Then it wasn't about the warmth, or the connection, it was about the way the act intensified the taste of their blood on my tongue. It was a sensual way of hunting that had seemed to occur to me almost spontaneously. I didn't make it a regular occurrence but on those nights when the air seemed heavy and the bars smelt especially delectable, Aslo and I would indulge ourselves for a night.

Now, however, it was all so different. Over the years, as my conscience grew and the vegetarian diet became a stronger and stronger presence in my mind, I sought out the company of human men for something other than their blood. I started to learn, to teach myself to control my thirst, to control the more instinctive urges, and by doing that they lived.

I took a final glance at the man all sprawled out on the sheets. He was young, probably around his twenties, and the way he face was relaxed in sleep made him look almost serene. I briefly checked the skin which was on show for any injuries and smiled when I found none. He would have no reminders for what happened last night, just a few blurry memories.

I sighed and left him to return home. He'd given me what I looked for, the warmth, the comfort, the feeling of being adored. Even if they wouldn't last forever they'd last long enough.

I moved quickly as I ghosted through the empty streets of Colter Bay. It was dawn so the air still had the cool freshness.

My run home didn't take very long. Our house rested on the edge of Jackson Lake, away from the village and its busyness.

I met Tanya at the front door, grinning at the faint bite mark on the inside of her wrist.

"I see little Jamie Welter kept you entertained last night," I said as we walked inside.

Tanya grinned before her eyes indicated for me to show her my own wrists. "I've shown you mine now you show me yours."

I turned my pale skin up for her eyes to see the two faint bite marks, identical on each wrist.

"Twice in one night, I didn't think Ben had it in him." I giggled at Tanya's comment, reminiscing on the short amount of time I'd been able to lie beside Ben without my body temperature waking him. It was nice to feel his warmth against my skin, to hear his heartbeat in his chest and feel its mild tremors reverberate through my own body.

"I may have to change methods; I don't want to end up with permanent scarring," I pondered as my finger ran a light trace around one of the bite marks. They would disappear in a day.

"True, but isn't it better to bite yourself rather than them," Tanya commented, and I nodded as I lounged back against the sofa and she picked up the remote for the music system.

"I guess you could try a pillow, but the idea of all those feathers." Her pretty face scrunched up as she scrolled through the thousands of songs in the collection.

As she selected a classical tune I felt myself relax and drift back to the first time I ever met Tanya Denali.

_16th May2042, Jackson._

_This immortal life was all about speed. How fast you could make the time pass. How quickly you could act on your senses. How swiftly you could execute your prey. It was one of the highlights of being locked in this body, the speed it could exert in its existence._

_My legs had raced towards the mountain lion as the desperation in me increased. It was a desperation fuelled by the need for this blood to quench the thirst, to eliminate the urges in me that wanted something richer—more human. I needed this blood to prove to myself that forcing myself to conform to the vegetarian diet was the right thing. That it was worth losing Aslo over. It had been three years since he left and they had dragged by like time was wading through molasses._

_I lifted my face from the matted fur of the lion's neck, licking my lips to catch the last droplets of blood. This feeling was the epitome of bliss, this warmth that radiated and sang in my veins._

_My fingers unclenched from the flesh they'd clung onto during the brief struggle, allowing the beast to fall to the ground. Its weight caused a few of the leaves to flutter up into the air, bringing with them a small waft of woodsy scent and something supernatural._

_I sprang into a crouch immediately as the scent grew stronger in my mind, powering through the blood-drunk haze._

_It was vampire, that much was certain, but it was no vampire I knew._

_"You're a very neat eater." A female voice came from the forest, just a disembodied voice until the vampire revealed herself from behind a tree._

_She was lovely, that much was a given, but her strawberry blonde hair was a shade that wasn't often seen in the Americas._

_"For the best really. It would be such a crime to ruin those jeans." She spoke softly as she eyed my designer garments._

_"Are they Ferrera?" she asked as I watched her. I had met a few vampires in my time, and a few were what I considered to be friends but there had been many that hadn't been. In those circumstances either Aslo and I jumped through my own self-preservation, or we left them as a pile of ash. Just a few chances for my fighting skills to be tested and honed. They were, according to Aslo, one of the most important skills to have._

_"They're D&G, almost vintage." I returned as I straightened out of my crouch. She wasn't showing any defensive body language, merely curiosity._

_"There're not many who hunt as you do." She returned as she got a little closer, her golden eyes seeming to come to my attention only now._

_"You mean neatly?" I said with a sarcastic smile. She chuckled at my words while her eyes looked down at the lion hungrily._

_"You have a sense of humour, another thing not many of our kind possess."_

_"Yes, death seems to have robbed many of the ability to laugh."_

_"But clearly not you." She grinned before tossing back her curls and coming forward to offer her hand. "I'm Tanya, by the way. I live at Jackson Lake."_

_"Pleasure. My name's Sarelle, and at present I live in these very woods." I tried to sound cheery but I missed having somewhere to call home. When Aslo and I were together we would buy a house, live within a community or out in the forest and that place would be the home we could come back to. Ever since he left I hadn't had a place to truly lay down roots, it never seemed right._

_"How inconvenient. Well , may I suggest you stay with us for a short while. For the sake of those jeans if not anything else." _

_"I can't stay long, I have..."_

_"Somewhere to be? Don't be noble for my sake, Sarelle. Now come on." Tanya cocked her head in the northern direction, her body poised to start the sprint._

_"You don't often give up, do you?"_

_"Not ever." She grinned, and I couldn't help but follow her lead. I could go with her. I could spend a couple of days at Jackson Lake, with others, in a house—a home. After all it would just be a couple of days._

Except those couple of days soon stretched out to years. I fell in love with it all over again, the feeling of family and sense of home. Tanya and her sisters welcomed me with open arms, their husbands were a little more reserved. In fact only one held any reservation about my staying with them. Garrett had embraced me just as Kate had, but Eleazar held more wariness over my presence. Of course that feeling was mutual.

I recognised him almost instantly. My human memory of his eyes boring into my mind, unlocking my powers secrets and spilling them to his darling master. He was just one of the many who I could blame for my situation, if I chose to. But I didn't. I had come to this life by my own footing but that still didn't stop my body from tensing when I saw him.

_"Well aren't you just wicked! I can see you'll fit in just perfectly here." Kate catcalled as Tanya and Carmen giggled at my story—one of the many exploits in which a human man had fallen head over heels for my pretty exterior._

_"Who's wicked?" A male voice called as the door shut downstairs. As the wood hit the jam it sent two scents to my attention, signalling the presence of two new vampires. They must have been the husbands, Tanya had mentioned Kate and Carmen were bonded._

_A man flitted into the room and bundled Kate into his arms as he growled into her neck and she laughed in his arms._

_"Tanya brought home a little wood nymph." Kate gasped, smiling as the man moved his mouth from her neck and tilted his head to see me fully._

_"Well, I don't know about a wood nymph, Katie, that there looks very much vampire to me." He joked before stepping around her and offering me his large hand._

_"The name's Garrett. What's yours, Tinkerbelle?" His eyes lit up, all golden and enthusiastic matching his wild looking hair._

_I smiled as I returned his handshake, but it soon faded as I registered the man still standing in the doorway. His dark hair was just as it once was and his stance still brought images of a Spanish matador, but no longer did he wear the sinister cloak of the Volturi._

_"Sarelle. I'm Sarelle," I said my voice like a whisper as I tore my eyes from the Volturi soldier._

_What was he doing here? Was this a trap?_

_I felt my body tense as I snapped my eyes back to Garrett with shock. He was so much bigger than me, he could hold me if he had to. Did Tanya bring me here at the soldier's orders? Had they just been keeping me entertained until his return?_

_"You alright there, Sarelle?" Garrett asked with a strained voice._

_The soldier gave an infinitesimal shake of his head, and I felt my confusion temporarily overtake my fear. _

_"Uh...Sure."_

_"You sure?'Cause you're about to turn my fingers to pulp." I swiftly released Garrett's hand with an apology and ran my hand through my hair._

_"Sorry, I just got spooked. I haven't been around many...people in a while," I stumbled through my explanation, my eyes flickering to the soldier as I did so._

_"Ah, of course. How rude of me. This is my husband, Eleazar," Carmen crooned as she held her hand out to the soldier. He took it immediately and the way his eyes warmed and reassured helped to postpone my plans to bolt. Something was different about him, as if by taking off the cloak he had removed the part of him that the Volturi owned._

_"Eleazar." I nodded as I greeted him, making sure to keep a wary eye on his position next to Carmen._

_"Welcome to our home, Sarelle. I hope you will be happy here, for however long you stay."_

_His face turned into his wife's hair as I heard him whisper words in Spanish. A language I now wished I'd learnt in my years of living._

_"OK, introductions done, who's in favour of a little trip to town?" Tanya's eyes twinkled as she made her proposition while the others looked on with content smiles that showed they had no intention of leaving each others side for at least twenty four hours._

_"You'll come, won't you, Sarelle. You could think of it as an initiation."_

_"Tanya, I really haven't been around humans very often recently. It's been less than twenty years since I...indulged."_

_"It's like riding a bike, and trust me twenty years is more than enough time. Now let's get you a dress." She took my hand and with that we left the couples to their privacy._

_It wasn't until the next day when we returned that I saw any of the others, and even then it was only Eleazar who crossed my path as I stood by the living room window, watching the sun rise._

_His scent of oranges and cinnamon hint my nose, causing me to flinch and tense instantly._

_"Be calm, Sarelle. I mean you no harm." He kept his distance as he stood at the base of the stairs on the opposite end of the room._

_I stood stock-still staring at him until he spoke again. "May we talk?"_

_"Where are the others?" I asked as I searched the house. No voices, no sounds, had I really missed the whole house emptying by merely standing here daydreaming?_

_"I asked for a moment of privacy with you, but do not fret, they are merely hunting nearby."_

_"What have you said to them? Do they know what you are? Was this some plan of yours?" I panicked, crouching slightly by the window as he stood calmly opposite._

_"They know nothing of your past, something I learnt you neglected to tell them. However they know all of mine, even my time within the Volturi guard. I have no secrets here, Sarelle." His voice was smooth as he watched me intently._

_"Why am I here?"_

_"You're here on your own accord. You know that. This isn't a trap. As I said I am no longer a member of the Volturi, you have no reason to fear me. Even given our past meetings."_

_"You don't just leave the Volturi."I spat as a crackle of electricity flashed through my veins._

_"No, often you do not and yet here we both are."_

_"What do you want?"I cocked my head as my voice came out in a hiss. Entrapment was not something I forgave easily._

_"I want to ensure this family will not be harmed by your presence."_

_"By my presence? How could I possibly hurt you? I'm one among many."I almost laughed at his reasoning. I could fight well but that was only in a fair fight, in a situation such as this the only option I would have would be jumping. Even then it wasn't so much a voluntary decision, more a result of being overwhelmed._

_"Not you, yourself. Your presence. You ran from the Volturi and an act like that does not go unnoticed. Aro was...enraged when he discovered your room empty and something such as that will not slip his mind."_

_"As if I had any control over what happened." I slowly straightened out of my tensed position as I kept my eyes trained on him. He may have left the Volturi but I still didn't know him well enough to trust him. There was only one person I truly trusted and he was gone, if only for now. _

_"I understand, but surely you must realise that excuses rarely work with Aro. If they were to find you here, it could be trouble for us all...and after Irina we could not survive again." I pushed his grief to one side in my mind along with the name Irina. It clearly held some significance but as of now it meant nothing to me._

_"My debt is settled with the Volturi, there will be no trouble. I assure you."I smirked as I turned back to the window, eyeing his reflection in the pane as his head cocked._

_"I don't think I follow you."_

_"How do you think I became how I am?"I murmured as a beam of sunlight pierced through the thick of the forest._

_"They changed you?" he answered with shock._

_"Aro, himself."_

_"I never heard news..."_

_"No, I don't expect you would have. They most likely think I'm dead. So you see we won't have a problem, as long as I can trust you to keep my existence a secret. I have survived one hundred and fifty years without them noticing me. I see no reason for that to change now."I turned to look him dead in the eyes. My face was determined, that much I was sure of, and my voice held strength but that had always been the case when I discussed such grave secrets—even when I was human. Self preservation was key._

_"It's a high risk to take, Sarelle. Surely you must understand that. What if you were found, what of Carmen? I couldn't put her in that kind of danger."_

_"How will I be found? My mind cannot be entered as I'm sure you know. The Volturi already assume I'm dead. And if the worst came, I would most likely jump. I'm not reckless enough to even come close to discovery."_

_"I always knew you were more than you appeared to be on the surface." Eleazar smiled conspiratorially, his golden eyes glinting with esteem._

_"So we have a deal, secrets stay kept? If the others ask I was changed by a stranger on the street nothing more complex than that."_

_Eleazar nodded coming forward to offer his hand which I met with warmth._

_"You've made a wonderful vampire, Sarelle. But then I always knew you would." He smiled slightly as his other hand covered my own._

_"And I always knew you weren't like the others," I said as I returned his smile. We parted but as Eleazar went to exit the house I stopped him with the question that had been bubbling in my mind since the beginning of our conversation._

_"Why did you leave the Volturi?"_

_"For love, what else is worth risking your life for." And with that he left._

My eyes snapped open when I heard Tanya's phone sound out over the soft piano tones. She promptly snapped it open and answered with her usual flirtatious tone before wandering off to somewhere in the house to continue the conversation.

As she left the room the back door opened and I smiled at the entrance of Kate and Garrett.

"I bought you that shirt, you could have been a little more careful with it," Kate grumbled.

"Some of us can't just electrocute our prey, honey."

"Even if I didn't use my power, I still wouldn't make as much of a mess as you."

"You know you like it really." Garrett smirked as he wound his big arms around Kate's waist.

"I'm still not happy about the shirt." She pouted before she gave him a small zap.

I'd always wondered what it felt like to the others when she did that. She'd tried it on me when Eleazar first explained my gift to them, but I felt nothing but a small surge. It was like the tingle I got before jumping but as if it almost powered me up.

"I'll let you buy me a new one, plus you can get me that god awful jacket you love so much," Garrett said with a cheeky look on his face before he gave her a loud kiss on the lips.

"So another night of mischief, Tink?" Garrett grinned down at me as he loomed over the sofa.

"Oh plenty, but at least I managed to come home with all my clothes intact." I smirked as I shifted my feet for Kate to sit at the bottom of the sofa.

"So who is Tanya on the phone to?" she asked.

"I'm not sure, I thought it might have been someone from the History Society but it's still quite early."

"It wasn't the History Society," Tanya announced as she descended the stairs. "We're going to have some friends visiting," Tanya beamed at Kate and I noticed the smile she returned.

"When are they getting here?" Kate asked after Tanya and her exchanged winks.

"About a week, apparently they have a few things to sort out first."

"That's great! Honestly, Sarelle, we can't wait for you to meet them. How long has it been...six, seven years since we all saw each other?" Kate gushed as she looked at me with bright eyes.

I smiled at their excitement but inside I felt nerves start to churn. New vampires always brought uncertainty.

**Any guesses who it might be? Were the Denalis written OK? What do you think of Sarelle's lifestyle?**

**Thanks for reading. x**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

_It's that time in the week again. I hope those of you who got the teaser liked it, and I want to thank those of you who reviewed. You all have such strong views on this story and where you see it going, it's great to read about them._

_It's 4th July 2047, the day that everything changes._

_Teaser's available as per request and here are a couple of translations just in case:_

_Como Te amo – I love you too_

_nuestra hermana – our sister_

_4th July 2047_

I sighed with a small smile on my face while I passed my fingers over the piano in an intricate version of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. July's sun pooled on the glossy top of the white piano, reflecting up onto my face and making my skin sparkle. With each note I played I saw new points of light refract from my skin onto the ivory. I didn't think I would ever get over the way my skin looked in the sunlight; it was such a distracting sight. I shook my head as I remembered how fascinated I had been when I saw Aslo's picture of Derren and the moment when Edward first showed me what he looked like in the sunlight. I could never imagine that I myself looked the same way they had, or that anyone would think me as beautiful as I had thought they were. However neither did I see myself as the monster Edward always seemed to view himself as. Or as something natural as Aslo always saw our lust for blood.

As I continued to play I listened to the voices of Carmen and Tanya upstairs. They were cleaning up the house in time for the new arrivals. They were all so excited which in turn had helped to dispel my own nerves about meeting the strangers. If they were loved by the others then I could only imagine that they were good people. From what I had learnt from Kate they had been friends with their guests for years, centuries even. With this knowledge I couldn't help but think of my own friends and the memories I had of them.

_13th April 1952, Belmore_

_I lounged against Edward while I directed my attention towards Emmett, smiling with wonder while he regaled memories that were better than any fairytale I'd ever heard. All the while Edward sat concentrating on the cookery book in front of him. Apparently he had decided to learn how to cook which seemed to be a lot harder when it relied on a proper sense of taste and smell. After all, there was something that didn't come naturally to him. His perfect brow furrowed as he murmured something about 'season to taste'. I repressed a smile and drew circle on the top of his hand while Emmett continued to tell me tales. I had found a new love for Emmett beyond his boisterous personality, and it had all come from the way he supported my choice to be turned. He knew what it was like, to an extent. We'd both been loved while we were human, briefly for him. Only Emmett remembered and fully understood why I was so willing to give up my mortality for Edward, even beyond the hope it would cure me._

_"He was finished playing with me then, and I knew I was about to die," Emmett remembered softly, winding up the memories of his human years with the story of his end._

_Edward paid us no attention; he'd probably heard it many times before._

_"I couldn't move, and my consciousness was slipping away. Then I heard what I thought was another bear, a fight over which would get my carcass. Or at least that's what I supposed. Suddenly it felt like I was flying. I figured I'd died but I tried to open my eyes anyway. That's when I saw her—" His face was incredulous at the memory. "—and I knew I was dead. I didn't even mind the pain. I fought to keep my eyelids open; I didn't want to miss one second of that angel's face. I was delirious of course, wondering why we hadn't gotten to heaven yet and thinking it must have been farther away than I expected. I kept waiting for her to take flight. And then she brought me to God." He laughed his deep booming laughter and I grinned. I could easily imagine anyone making that assumption when they first saw Carlisle._

_"I thought what happened next was my judgement. I'd had a little too much fun in my twenty human years so I was well prepared for the fires of hell." He laughed again and I bit my lip against the thought of those fires. I must have tensed because Edward's arm tightened around me unconsciously._

_"What surprised me was that the angel didn't leave. I was surprised something so beautiful was allowed in the depths of hell but there she was. Every time God came to check on me I kept expecting him to take her away but he didn't. I started to think those preachers that talked about that old merciful God were right after all. Anyway then the pain stopped and they explained everything to me._

_"Apparently I surprised them with how calm I was about the whole vampire thing, but I figured if Carlisle and Rosalie, my angel, were vampires then it couldn't be that bad, could it?" I smiled and nodded, agreeing completely as he continued._

_"You had your hands full with me at first, didn't you?" Emmett nudged Edward playfully sending me rocking with the force._

_Edward snorted without looking away from the book in his hand._

_"So you see, Hell's not so bad if you get to keep an angel with you," he said mischievously. "That is when he finally gets round to accepting the inevitable."_

_Edward's fist moved so quickly I didn't even see what had knocked Emmett sprawling over the floor. Edward's eyes never even seemed to leave the book, or jostle it in his movements._

_"Edward!" I gasped as I looked between him and Emmett, shocked to exasperation._

_"Don't worry about it, Saz."Emmett said with a grin, unruffled and back into his seat. "I know where to find him." he said over me to Edward's profile. "You'll have to put her down sometime." He threatened to which Edward merely snarled, he's eyes never leaving the book._

_"Boys!" Esme's reproving voice called sharply, and I snickered as I shook my head in disbelief._

_23rd June 1952, Belmore._

_I giggled as Edward launched me up out of the water, my hands resting on his shoulders as he smiled up at me. __When he released me I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him deeply and tasting the way his scent mixed with the water to make it something almost liquid on my taste buds._

_"Mmmm," I sighed before he pulled away, smiling as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear._

_"Are you hungry? Esme prepared a picnic."_

_"Sounds lovely," I said before he whisked me up into his arms and carried me out to the fluffy towels waiting on the edge of the pool amongst the grass and daisies._

_I wrapped myself up while I watched Edward dry himself off, tousling his hair and leaving it a wonderful mess that hung across his forehead. The water droplets only added to the way his skin glittered._

_I sat myself down on the grass and looked out over the little natural pool Emmett had found, grinning as I watched him sneaking up behind Rosalie and Alice while Jasper distracted them._

_"Are you warm enough, Sarelle?" Carlisle asked as he touched my shoulder and sat down beside me._

_"I'm fine, Carlisle." He gave me a small hug as his arm wrapped around my back and we both looked out over the family as they busied and enjoyed themselves. "Never been better." I sighed, turning my face up to the sun._

I slowed my fingers on the piano until I brought them to a complete stop and just rested them lightly on the keys. Those memories were all human and weak in comparison to all my others. There were very few vampire memories that featured the Cullens, but the few I had were precious.

_21st January 2004, Forks._

_I peered around the tree with careful eyes. Not from fear of being caught, I knew that could never happen, but from fear of losing myself if I got too close. I could already feel the tingle licking at my skin, the warning that this was as close to them as I could ever get. It was the rule the tingle had set for my vampire life and I could see that it was almost a compromise. I had more control over the tingle now. Sure sometimes if my emotions ran too high it would whisk me away faster than a human could blink, but other times I could choose it. I could determine where I went and when. I could tame it. But then there was this, the warning that the past must stay as it is. Whenever I got too close to those who were a part of my past then the tingle would force me away again. Determinism, I couldn't change something that had already happened._

_So as I stood here watching Jasper and Alice as they sat together in the forest, her perched on his knee like a nymph, I knew they wouldn't hear me, see me, even smell me, because I was just a ghost here. The past had already decided such a thing._

_I rested my cheek against the bark as I silently listened to their voices. Even though I could never speak with them it was these little moments that satiated my desire to have them in my life again._

_"Do you think he'll come home soon? I'm getting bored with Rosalie's gloating."Alice pouted as she talked and I couldn't help but smile, despite the spark in my interest._

_"I couldn't say, Honey. But that day when he left, I hadn't felt anything like that from him since Sarelle," Jasper explained and I saw Alice's face form a little frown._

_She seemed to concentrate a while before she huffed and threw her hands up in the air with the same frustrated motion as she used to do. "Well, his future is an absolute mess, but one thing's for certain and that's that Bella is in there somewhere."_

_Jasper's hand picked up Alice's placing their palms together as he murmured, "although it always seemed unlikely, I thought that one day Sarelle would come back." He looked to Alice and smiled sadly as their fingers entwined. "I didn't think it was possible for fate to waste the love they had for each other after the effort it had put into bringing them together."_

_"I once thought that too, Jasper, but it seems providence works in unusual ways," I whispered into the wind as I watched him place a kiss on the top of Alice's hand._

"Sarelle, Chica," Carmen called, instantly jolting me from the last memory I had of Alice and Jasper.

I followed her voice to find her sitting in front of her art easel, a regular occurrence and a pretty picture in itself. I could smell the faint fumes the paints had created, the musky scent of the ochre and the harsh acrid smell of the azure.

I entered hers and Eleazar's room walking towards her as she sat in front of the window, a palette resting in her arm.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your playing, it was such a muse to me, but I wanted to talk to you before our guests arrive." She spoke as she looked out to the window and then added a far off bird into the piece she was painting. "You've settled with us very well, and I'd hope that you know we all love you greatly." Carmen's expressive almond eyes smiled at me as she peeked up at me from her position.

"Como Te amo," I replied in Spanish, smiling as Carmen squeezed my hand affectionately.

"What I mean to say is that we think of you as part of our family, nuestra hermana, and we will understand if this visit is something you would prefer to avoid. By 'we' I mean the rest of us will ensure Tanya understands." We chuckled. Tanya had been more than a little excited to show me off to her old friends.

"Gracias hermana, but I'm looking forward to meeting everyone. I know I was a little skittish when I first met you all but I was in a different place then. Now are you going to let me in on a little background information? The others have been like Fort Knox."

"Ah ah ah, why don't you find out for yourself?" Carmen said with a cheeky glint in her eye.

"They're here!" Tanya squealed excitedly before I heard her rush to the door.

**Thanks for reading. x**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

_Thank you to all of you who reviewed the last chapter. You all have different opinions on how you wanted this chapter to go, so I'm just hoping it meets the expectations. Or at least that I've delviered something worth the time it takes to read. Any questions, opinions, general comments? It would be great to see what they are._

_x_

_4th July 2047 (2.32pm)_

I followed Carmen slowly, stopping at the doorway to my room at the top of the stairs. I would allow them their greetings first before I introduced myself. At least that would give me a little more time to accustom myself to their presence.

I heard Tanya open the door but what came next nearly knocked me senseless. Those scents, I knew them so well it was as if they were a part of me. As they bulldozed into my senses I felt myself get sucked back in time, not through my gift but through the overwhelming power of the memories that burst forth from the recesses of my conscience. They tumbled into my thoughts like water from a broken dam and it took all my strength to stay standing where I was_..."why are you afraid?"_

_"I'm not afraid of you," I said with a sigh._

_"That wasn't what I asked, Sarelle."_

_"I'm afraid that this has to end. I'm afraid that every moment I'm with you I dread the moment when I have to leave you. I'm afraid that I'd like to stay with you much more than my heart should want."_

_"That is something to be afraid of. But let's not think about the end when we're still only at the beginning. When that day comes, and I have to watch you leave, I will always try and find a way to you."..._

_... "You look lovely with a blush on your cheeks." His thumb's pad brushed against the heated surface of my skin, and I felt the complete contrast we were._

_I was like fiery heat compared to his icy cold. Could fire and ice exist together and not ultimately destroy each other?_

_"I believe we could be the exception, we already defy the laws of nature." He said answering my internal thought._

_"The only exception," I said..._

I peered around the corner, just a peak, just to make sure. And there they stood every one of them exactly how I remembered them, and yet better somehow. And still the years rushed by in my mind.

_"Do you play?" Edward asked, observing my amorous expression._

_"A little." I grinned and practically skipped towards the instrument, placing myself on the bench as if I was settling home._

_I tapped the bench and in a flash Edward was sitting beside me._

_"Play for me," he whispered in my ear, and placed a cool kiss on my temple._

_Carlisle looked down at me with a peaceful smile before placing an arm around me in a fatherly hug. That was, after all, what he was to me, a father figure, or a guardian, so the gesture just felt right and safe._

_"Thank you, Sarelle. It's been nice having you here, learning and remembering my past. I used to think my human life was irrelevant, insubstantial. You've shown me otherwise." I smiled up at him before turning back to gaze at the picture of the home we had shared._

_"Your human life was anything but irrelevant, Carlisle. It was so much more than worthy because you were important to me. You saved me so never doubt the point of your human existence. You were loved and not many can say that." I beamed as Carlisle gave me a light squeeze and sighed._

_"You seem so connected to us all, first me, then Edward, Emmett and Esme." Carlisle smiled with bemusement. It did seem that I was pulled to these people, whatever form they were in._

_His eyes were fixed on me as they burned with passion and I felt my face shine with joy as my heart pounded. Only for him, every heartbeat for him._

_It seemed like forever but finally he was standing before me, grasping my hands in his as my song started to rise to its crescendo._

_"Sarelle St Clair," he said as he slowly bent down onto one knee._

_I felt my legs go weak with surprise and my eyes widened as he looked up at me from his new position. His golden eyes gazing up through his long eyelashes, soft but somehow still scorching._

_"I love you and I promise to love for every day of my existence. Will you make me the happiest man alive and wear my ring ..."_

_'You are my Angel. Forever and Eternity' _

This couldn't be happening. It was the one thing I'd hoped for but I had never dreamed that this moment would come with such panic. But it was there, right in the sinews of my muscles, making them sing the tune to run, to hide. For so long they had been out of reach, a pipe dream and now they stood just downstairs, each and every one of them as real as could be. It should have been a miracle but all I could think of was the past and the pain it had caused.

_As I turned away something caught my eye. I left the sunny pool of the meadow and stepped into the gloom, heading towards a winding, gnarled, oak tree that had its trunk gently bathed in a green hue from the sunlight filtering down through the leafy canopy._

_"Did you do this?" I asked Edward as my fingertips traced a ragged carved cross that had been etched into the rough trunk surface. The marking wasn't precise or careful; it was feral, wild and irregular. Almost as if it was a result of an animal's rage but at the same time it seemed like it meant something, as if it had been put there for a reason._

_"It was hear when I found this place. It's cut quite deep but I would think it's been here for many years." His arms curled around me as we looked upon the cross. It scarred the tree's surface, nearly stretching the full width of the thick trunk and reaching at least a metre in height._

_"I wonder, what it means." I murmured, glancing around the surrounding trees for any sign of a similar marking. There wasn't one._

_"This is not the end, Sarelle. It will not be the end," he whispered, and his voice held such determination but it was flawed. He couldn't possible know whether it was the end or not. He had no idea what fate had planned for us that was why it was fate. It could do whatever it wants without ever having to bend to our wants, desires, or expectations._

_"Edward, what if it is? What if this is all we get, this present, these few months when we were both aware of what we mean to each other?" I stroked his forearms as I talked, soaking up everything I could about him._

_As the tingle reached my waist I gasped away from Edward's lips, taking one last hard kiss from their pouted form before unwillingly leaving his embrace._

_"Goodbye, Edward." I leapt away so I didn't harm him as the electricity pulsed violently._

_Before I fell into darkness I saw Edward's broken form try to reach for me in a half-hearted attempt._

_"I'll save you... my angel." He sobbed._

_"You kept your promise," I murmured, staring at my feet, the platinum band glinting in the twilight as a beacon for our past._

_"Fifty five years I've begged for this scent to cloud my mind. Fifty five years I've longed to hold you in my arms, and here you are, on my wedding day. Fate truly is a cruel force." As he spoke he strengthened his grip on my waist and placed soft kisses on my wrist, inhaling my floral scent deeply._

_Don't do anything stupid, Saz. Stay out of that castle. Promise me that."_

_"I promise not to do anything stupid. I'll call you soon, Ems."_

_I swallowed as my fate aligned before my very eyes._

_"Take me," I whispered, looking up to see Aro's eyes glint with success._

_"I beg your pardon, Sarelle?"_

_"If you let them go, Bella and Edward, unharmed. Then I'll...I will join..You, the Volturi. Voluntarily." I locked my gaze with Aro's and watched, with a sickening feeling in my stomach, as his mouth curled into a wide smile._

_Still, I pounded my aching hands against the door until wooden splinters pierced my skin, and left bloody tracks of my efforts. I had fought through this life so it seemed only right that I would continue even when death walked to claim me. Its cold grasp outstretched towards me._

_"There's no escape for you, young one. We have a deal, time to make good on your part." I spun and was met by the terrifying sight of Aro looming over me._

It's easy to think of the past as water under the bridge. The current that carries away our mistakes: the loves we lost; the addictions we gave into; the opportunities we threw away, but sooner or later reminders drift back into our lives of the mistakes we made and the sins we committed.

I bit my lip as I tried to halt the torrent, my hand tightening on the doorframe to the point of an audible creak piercing the air.

"Well, now that greetings are done. Everyone there's someone we'd like to introduce you to," Tanya said with glee and I heard Carmen and Eleazar talk excitedly with Esme.

Just the thought of her made my body yearn to run down the stairs and into her arms. It had been too long since I'd seen her sweet caring face, or heard her soft serene voice. As I thought of all of them I felt my body fill with a new kind of nerves, the kind that bubbled and tickled and made butterflies burst free in your stomach. The truth was that it had just been too long. Too long to hide, too long to run away from such an opportunity.

I noticed Kate and Garrett staring up at me from their position furthest on the right, Kate's eyes urging me to come down.

"Come on, Tinkerbelle, no need to be shy." Garrett grinned and I sent him a short scowl.

"Tinkerbelle?" Emmett boomed as he laughed and I smiled when I heard the all too familiar sound of Rosalie's hand swiping through the air and striking his head.

_Here goes everything..._ I thought before I stepped around the corner and into their line of sight.

"Sarelle?" I raised my eyes to Edward's widened ones, biting my lip before releasing it to smile.

He was perfect, as always. He hadn't changed a bit since I'd last seen him, except for the forest green jumper he wore with the expensive looking jeans. He was still Edward, right from his tousled bronze hair to his poised 6ft 2 stance. It could have been as if all the years I'd lived without seeing him had been mere minutes—a small blip in time—except the presence of Bella at his side and some strange copper-haired girl with a heartbeat on his other told me that more had changed than showed on the surface. What was even stranger was that the copper-haired girl had a werewolf's hand tightly held in her own and it seemed that had been the way of things for quite some time.

"Do you already know each other?" Tanya asked as she looked between the Cullens and I.

Alice burst forth from her place beside Jasper and soon had her arms wrapped around me, filling my sense of smell with her scent of hyacinths and raspberries.

"Sarelle! We thought...God, how are you?" Alice gushed as we held each other fiercely.

"We've known each other for a very long time, and this is an extraordinary surprise." I opened my eyes as Carlisle explained to Tanya, catching his own when he looked over at Alice and I. "Extraordinary," he repeated.

I giggled as Esme rushed to join Alice, her face holding a bright smile although her eyes shined as if they would be crying if they could. I giggled happily when she enveloped me in her arms. "I've missed you all so much."

"Well isn't that a turn up for the books. At least we don't have to do introductions." Kate offered as the Denalis looked on with surprised expressions.

"Actually, I don't think—" Bella started but as Alice and Esme let me go I started forward towards her. "It's a pleasure to meet your new self, Isabella."

"Please, call me Bella," she said with a faint smile.

"If you wish, I always liked Isabella though." I heard a short snicker at my comment and cast Tanya a sideways glance.

"I'm sorry, I don't remember..." Bella said as she looked at me with pensive eyes.

I waved off her attempts with a nonchalant shrug. "Don't worry, I didn't expect you to. I knew your mother that's all."

"Oh—" Bella frowned and for a second I noticed how it seemed to spoil her usually sweet face. The little crease that formed in between her eyebrows made it look like she were scowling rather than just confused. Then again from past experiences I could only imagine that it bothered Bella not to understand everything.

Emmett's booming laughter sounded beside us and I grinned as he said, "That's going to be fun to explain." He nudged Bella on the shoulder as he continued, "It's a real mind bender."

"It's so wonderful to see you again, Sarelle. We've missed you so much. We thought we'd lost you," Esme said as she seemed to study my every feature.

"We thought you were dead." The words made all other conversations stop.

I looked at the floor until I had the courage to look Rosalie in the eyes. Her words were blunt and abrupt but they were true and I had to own up to the fact that I had hurt them by doing what I did. Even if it wasn't all within my control.

I pulled my eyes from the wooden floor boards and stared unwaveringly into Rosalie's own hard gaze. "I know, Rosalie and I'm so sorry to have placed that burden on you." I glanced at Emmett because this involved him as much at Rosalie. They both trusted me when they took me to Volterra and I could only imagine that they felt the guilt the most out of all of them. "You didn't deserve to be put in that situation but I had no choice. I jumped." I felt my body squirm at the idea of lying to them, but if it meant avoiding the truth about Aro being my sire then I would do it.

"You survived?" Jasper queried in his usual quiet way, always watching with that expression that hides so much.

I nodded and glanced at Eleazar to see him give me a short smile of reassurance.

"How did this happen?" Carlisle asked as he looked around at the Denalis.

"It wasn't us." Tanya interjected. "She was already like this when we met her."

"Sarelle?" Emmett asked as he looked down at me with concern and curiosity. "You going to clue us in?"

"I can't really remember much. It was all very fast. It just happened. Some stranger." I waved away the news as if it were insignificant, which to me it was. My sire was no part of me, merely the source of the venom in my veins. "Anyway enough about me, you seem to have news of your own." I peered at the girl and the wolf, just in case for some mad reason they didn't understand what I meant.

"Of course," Bella cooed as she stepped to wrap a proud arm around the girl's waist. "This is mine and Edward's biological daughter."

"Renesmee," the girl said confidently as she came forward to offer me her hand. "And this is my Jacob," she said with a devoted tone as she indicated the tall native boy next to her. I snuck a peek at Tanya and lifted my brow slightly, receiving a look that summed up the phrase 'it's a long story.'

I turned back to the girl and shook her hand gently, puzzling over the strange texture and temperature.

It was then that I felt something invade my mind, an event that hadn't happened since I'd changed.

With the invasion came images of a gruesome birth, Edward and Bella together with a small baby in their arms. The three of them again when the child was older. Then the image changed again. There were no more happy families, instead I saw myself, or what I thought was myself writhing on the forest floor. I was hardly human, instead I looked like a human figure wrapped in a web of electricity, sparks flying off me and licking at the air around them. With the image came a sense of knowing, or understanding as if the sight was a confirmation of a previously heard of idea. The image twisted again and I saw a pile of clothes on a plush ruby floor. A dress was picked up but it's blurry, the only thing that's really clear was the little photograph that floated free of the surface. It's me and the other Cullen siblings all arranged in various positions on the sofas they used to have at their house in Belmore. The photo is turned over, and I can just about see the lightly written words 'Us and Sarelle, 10th May 1952 – Belmore.'

With that my mind goes blank, and I blink as I look at the girl in front of me. "Our daughter is very gifted," Bella cooed as I release her daughter's hand. I nodded and smiled softly at the girl. "It's nice to meet you, Renesmee." My tongue twists over the name. I can recognise it's origins but I can't help but feel like it sits stale on the palate, too pretentious to flow.

I felt another presence as it tried to force it's way into my mind but this time it was met by the usual response.

I noticed Edward flinch and I couldn't help but snicker at his reaction.

"What was that?" Edward asked as he shook his head lightly.

"Electricity, a mental force field of sorts," I said calmly.

"You shocked me," Edward puzzled.

"Amazing. Does it repel all mental attacks?" Carlisle asked with the same bright interest in his eyes.

I nodded and felt a grin spread on my face when I saw the questions spring up in his expression. "You may carry out your tests later, Carlisle. It's strange to say but I've missed them. It's been too long."

"Too long," he agreed as his eyes softened and a quiet smile lit his face. I met his open arms with my own and soon I was enveloped in hugs from each of the family, except for Bella, Renesmee and the wolf.

When I reached Rosalie I stuttered but she eventually pulled me forward for a brief embrace before parting with a stern smile.

Finally I stood before the one person I was most wary of being near. He still towered above me but it wasn't for that reason that I felt so small. It was as if standing there before his golden gaze I was transported back to being the weak, hopeless human I had been when we were first together. I had been so completely smitten by him, and it scared me to think that I may lose all my strength just by a breath of his scent intoxicating my mind, or a murmur of his voice coaxing me to surrender.

However as I looked at him I felt myself grow strong again because even if he hadn't changed, I had.

"Come here," I laughed before reaching forward and wrapping my arms around his neck, holding myself against him as I leant up a little on my toes. I felt his face settle in the crook of my neck and his hands wind around my waist, but all too soon we pulled away.

I took a swift step back and stood beside Tanya, smiling widely as I saw the others start buzzing conversations and pass amazed glances in my direction.

"An interesting turn of events." Tanya commented lowly and I eyed her with a smirk while she lifted one perfectly groomed brow. I knew what that meant and I sighed a I went to indulge myself with the Cullens company. I'd answer all Tanya's questions later, I was sure she had a lot of them.

Eventually the Cullens left, but only once I had reassured them that my jumps were very rare and mainly under my control. Even then Alice and Esme seemed reluctant to leave but it was with Carlisle's patience and persuasion that they conceded to returning tomorrow.

In the case of Edward, he was quiet the whole time and for that I was grateful. If it weren't impossible for me to forget his presence I wouldn't have realised he was still with us. It wasn't until I overheard Bella coaxing him to leave with an irritated voice that I even noticed he and his small family were present.

I didn't understand why Bella seemed so set on getting Renesmee back, or why she felt the need for her and Edward to leave with their daughter when said daughter seemed more than happy to be with her wolf, but when Renesmee took her tired self home, so did Bella and Edward.

In truth it was a relief when they left. It was like a pocket of pressure was alleviated because although I was happy to see them all, and although I wanted more than anything to be a part of their lives again, I couldn't deny the fact that it had sent my emotions into a mess of confusion. Before they had come back I knew exactly what I wanted, what my regrets were, and where I stood in life. I had a past and a present and a possible future that all had their places and now it felt as if it was all tossed back up in the air. And with that confusion came the very real niggling sensation in the pit of my stomach, like old feelings trying to burrow into my like woodworm, set to weaken me. I feared the arrival of the Cullens could set something into motion that would be out of control and destructive for all involved, and that thought scared me more than anything.

I paced my room upstairs while I heard the rest of the Denalis talking about things they'd heard and learnt. I knew my name came up a lot but I didn't care.

I whipped my phone out from my pocket and hit the speed-dial faster than the phone's system allowed, but eventually I heard the dial tone.

"Sarelle?" Aslo answered.

"They're here, Aslo. He's here, with _her."_ I stressed as I rubbed my hand over my face.

"The Cullens? Why?"

"They're old family friends of the others. And now they're living just across the freaking lake." I hissed in exasperation while my hand travelling from my face to my hair.

"Are you OK?" Aslo asked calmly. Always so calm and collected.

I stopped pacing and closed my eyes as I tried to figured out how I felt, truly felt. Was I OK with it? "I don't know...I don't know," I said with a shaky breath and I felt my chest flutter with the tingle as it sent a shivering wave through my body.

"Calm down, you'll jump otherwise and that is not the way out."

"I know, but what do I do?" I held onto Aslo voice like an anchor to keep me here, because he was right. I didn't want to jump, even if I could always find my way back again I hated the time it could take and the way it left its trace on my irises. "He's still the same, Aslo. It all came flooding back and I don't think I can handle it, not right now. Not without you with me"

"You're strong, Sarelle, but if you want me there I'll come. For you, I'll come," he whispered softly and I felt my cold heart warm a little at the commitment he showed.

"No, no. You need to do this more than I need you to come here." It was a constant comfort to know that, unlike my human life, I had someone and something that was stable. "Just...just talk to me, tell me what to do. Please. I can't think straight to figure out what to do."

"What does your instinct tell you to do?"

"Run," I said simply as I turned and looked out over the lake.

"Then run, not forever but just for a little while. Some time to gather your thoughts."

"But the others, I've missed them so much. Rose, Em, Jasper, Esme, Carlisle...Alice." I could spy their grand house that sat hidden on the crag behind the trees, its lights shining through the endless shadows of the tree trunks. They were just there, and I wondered if they could see me.

"Alice is there?" he asked with peaked interest.

"They're all here and it's so overwhelming, after all this time of being denied from seeing them." I walked over to the window, my fingers resting on the pane but leaving no heat trace, and I looked out at the house with the same yearning I'd had whenever I had thought of them. They held so much of me with them, but was it a part of me that I truly wanted back?

"You have to do what's best for you, but I'm sure they'll still care for you and respect your decision." His voice seemed distant and I could imagine him thinking of Alice. He would have that pensive expression on his face that I had spotted so many time over our years together. She was a mystery to him, an unknown, and I knew he wondered what she must be like now, whether he would still love her if he saw her again. If it was true that love never dies.

"Thank you, Aslo. So much."

"My pleasure, _kvetina_. Remember I'm always here for you, you're never alone." I smiled as I closed the call. That was just one of the things I adored about my new life, I was never alone.

I slipped the phone back into my pocket and set about gathering a few things to take away with me. I was going to take Aslo's advice. I couldn't force myself to drift on while I had no grasp on what I felt or thought. The Cullens' reappearance was a bombshell and I had to sort through the aftermath to figure out how best to go forward. Otherwise I dreaded to think the trouble that could be caused.

"What are you doing?" Tanya asked as she stepped into my room bringing with her the smell of peaches and spice.

"I'm just going away for a little while," I answered as I reached past her to collect a zip up jacket from the door.

"Why?"

"I just need some space, there's a lot to take in." I smiled briefly at her as she stood with her arms crossed in front of the doorway.

"So this is about the Cullens." I focussed on packing the black backpack I had dug from under my bed. "They seemed to have really missed you. Why would you want to leave? Did something happen between them?" Tanya questioned as her head tilted to the side gently.

"Something like that." I sighed and threw the bag onto my back as I turned to face Tanya. "I have history there and I just need some time to think, adjust to the idea of them being so close."

"Just some time," She watched me with shrewd eyes before straightening and clearing her expression. "Does that mean you'll come back because you can't leave me with this lot." She nudged her head towards the other bedrooms and the intimate noises coming from them.

I pressed my lips into a tight line to hide my laughter as the noises continued and Tanya's eyes rolled before settling on me, her amusement visible.

"You need to find a man of your own," I said.

"You're telling me." Tanya grinned as she placed a hand on her hip and gave me a nudge. "Have you got anyone hidden away who might be interested?"

"I'll look into it," I mentioned before reaching to give her a hug while a sidetrack in my mind listed the male vampires I knew and had encoutnered. "I'll see you soon, and tell the others the same."

With that and a short wave from Tanya I took off out the house and into the dark forest around us. As I ran I noticed how still the forest seemed, how quiet it was. Maybe even a little too quiet.

I quickly flung myself around as I heard the footsteps, but was all too late. I was pinned against a tree, feeling the body press against mine. My head flung straight on as I looked at Edward, his eyes still the black colour from the hunt which had left the delicious scent of blood on him. We stared straight into each other's eyes, the interaction almost unbearable to reject. His body wasn't at all that cold, but that was only because we were now the same temperature. I could hear his breathing increase as he glanced down at my neck his eyes still hard and black. I knew what he'd see there, the one scar that every vampire had to bare. No matter how invisible it was to the human eye, a vampire's sight would sometiems be able to make out the two crescent shapes.

"What happened to you?" He softly whispered, almost as if he was heartbroken. It went silent once again, and his breathing had slowed down. I felt his fingers let go of my wrist, but I didn't flinch or even move. I was stunned by the feeling of compulsion stirring between us. I felt his fingers against my cheek, as he looked up and stared at me in complete awe, "You shouldn't be like this." He shook his head as if he was answering his own question. I couldn't stand seeing him like this. I never could.

"I guess fate chose that I should," I replied with a matter of fact tone before I allowed myself to ask the question which had taunted me for years.

"Have you missed me?" I whispered softly, watching as his emotion unfolded right in front of my golden eyes. Did he truly miss me as I had missed them? Missed him?

"More than you can ever imagine." He gushed, but let out a faint laugh behind it, his expression coiling back together now, "I just didn't believe it when I saw you like this. How could I believe it? My innocent, beautiful Sarelle. A monster? Just like me." He paused once again, stroking my cheek, "But here you are," he whispered.

"Edward, you knew it was coming, and deep down you knew there wasn't any kind of 'maybe' about it." I shook my head as I talked and remembered those months in Belmore when his demeanour would change in an instant. Those weeks upon weeks of sensing that something hung over us all but not quite knowing what it was. I understood now, all too well.

I felt his other hand slide down to my perfectly shaped waist, my mind mixing with all different emotions. How could he still make me feel this way about him? After one hundred and forty years, I thought he would almost be like a stranger to me. But as I felt his touch on me again I realised that he and the Cullens were rooted too deep within me to ever seem foreign. However, for all the comfort and sense of home that came with his presence, there was a fear I couldn't yet name. I found myself choked by some unknown feeling within. I didn't want to tell him how much I missed him. How much I thought of him. How much I had hoped and prayed, willed and wanted for a moment with him in my life again. It felt like if I did. If I opened up, I would leave myself vulnerable. I could almost feel the sickly stretch of tight skin over old wounds, stitches pulled taut even though no such things existed. At least not physically. I had taken a long time to patch myself back up and I didn't want to be put in the same position again. I didn't want to be heartbroken and because of that I had to stay away. Get away. Run.

"Edward…" I almost cried as I shook my head, feeling the wounds beginning to open again under the pressure of the emotions surrounding the situation.

"Shh," he hissed at me as I felt his hard forehead against my own. He was trying to take in this moment, trying to make sure that I was truly here, that this wasn't one of his mind tricks. But I was here, for now. His fingers continued to stroke up and down my cheek as his eyes began to close, his lips pressing into a hard line as his eyebrows furrowed.

"Edward, please," I said as I shook my head, pressing my hand against his chest. The hand that hung against my waist pulled away, and then wrapped around my own hands that were placed against my chest.

He held them in his grip, and I could sense he was still remembering. Remembering what I felt like when I was human, trying to remember my heartbeat. He sucked in a deep breath, getting a whiff of my new scent, and he quickly let out a soft sigh, a smile playing at his lips. It was still so much like my old fragrance of evening honeysuckle and Jasmine, but as Aslo had told me now it was deeper, more sensual to the mind.

"I missed you so much." The words nearly ripped at my own being, my eyes quickly closing as I whimpered under his grip. I felt human again. I felt as if I couldn't do anything. That he was stronger than me, that he was forcing me here. The truth was, was that I was just as strong as he was. I could rip away from him. If I wanted to.

His scent hit me like a lightning bolt, running in and out of my nostrils, firing electricity in my veins that had nothing to do with my gift. I sighed softly as I tilted my head back, feeling his forehead against my neck as I continued to take in his scent. It was literally like a drug, like nothing I have ever smelt before. I wanted him. In so many ways. In ways I shouldn't want him. And ways I never thought I would ever want anyone. It was shocking to have such feelings coursing through my body. It was a surprise or more like an unwelcome guest. I had to resist him though, I couldn't afford to be placed right back where I was when I was human. I wouldn't have it. I wouldn't put myself through it!

"Stop!" I growled as I moved my hands forward, my eyes focusing on him as he was sent back as I started to turn away from him.

"Where are you going?" he called although he kept his distance.

"I'm going to visit a friend," I said as I faced out and away from him, towards the place I could run to.

I felt his presence move closer to me more than I heard the footsteps on the forest floor. "No you're running." He sounded disappointed, almost angry but what did he have to angry about? His world hadn't just been turned upside down and inside out. He didn't feel like he had suddenly been pushed out on a tight rope, terrified of falling into the unknown below. He felt none of the things I was feeling right now.

"What does it matter?" I spun with anger but my glare soon turned to pleading when I saw him watching me. "What are you doing here?"

"I followed you. I just wanted to see you without all the background noise. I want to understand, to learn about your...life." My life, I thought sardonically as his eyes implored me to grant him his wish. What he meant was that he wanted to understand how I coped, how I was changed, how I survived. But I wasn't ready, and I didn't want to spill my immortal years out to him so I just turned away.

"Just believe me, Edward, this is the right thing to do. For now," I said softly.

"No." He growled under his breath, but it didn't intimidate me. Not even when he twisted me to look at him. "Running away will solve nothing!" His eyes burned with determination as his hands gripped my shoulders.

"I don't expect you to understand." I shrugged his hands off me. "But I'm doing what's best." I dropped my hand to squeeze his own.

"Are you sure, Sarelle? Or are you just saying that to ease the blow." He watched our hands with his hung low and his brow furrowed as he spoke.

I felt my own frown form as I met his repenting eyes with a look of confusion. His hands covered my own and placed them over his heart as he watched me with intense golden eyes. "I know I've hurt you. And I know you must hate me for what I've done to you, but don't run from your home just to avoid me. I'll leave, I'll persuade Bella to move, separate from the family."

"You're absurd, Edward." I took my hand back as I shook my head at his bizarre train of thought. "I don't hate you, and I don't blame you. Believe me there were times when I wished I could, but I just can't do it." My hands went to my hair and I pulled on it with the frustration of knowing it was all too true. How many times I had told myself it was the last time, or that a day would come when he would mean nothing to me, when I would resent his decision to choose Bella. Yet it had never came . Even now as he stood before me, the moonlight highlighting the sadness in his eyes and the wind playing with the strands of his hair, I couldn't bring myself to blame him for any of it. Not the heartache, the disappointment, the deal I made with the Volturi. None of it. I closed my eyes in defeat as I ran my thumb over my lower lip to stop from biting it.

"You hate the feeling." I opened my eyes at Edward's words and saw the understanding in his eyes. He must have seen the turmoil written on my face because I could never believe that he felt any of what I did. He had his Bella, his daughter, his family.

"I'm just saving what's left, getting out while there's still some way to do it," I confessed quietly.

It was silent for a few moments as I cast my eyes to the ground. "Will you come back?" Edward murmured but he didn't come any closer.

"That's not a question I can answer, Edward." I admitted and with that I ran, and ran, and ran.

**Thanks for reading. x**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

_Thank you to all of you who reviewed the last chapter and to those who enlightened me to their views via PM. This chapter was written due to a request from a reader. It doesn't progress the story that much but it should hopefully give you a snapshot into how Sarelle had been living and also a little view into another character's life. Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it._

_x_

It had been just over a week since I left that house in Jackson, and still I had found no real peace of mind. I had visited old friends and explored cities yet still I found no vent for the busyness within. As I ran I let my mind wander away from the havoc the Cullens' appearance was creating and instead thought of the person I was running towards, the one who had been an unlikely but strong link back to my human life.

_14th June 2023, Florida._

_The balmy summer air sat around me, still and thick. At least now my skin couldn't sweat or bloom with a blush. I didn't crave the cold of the air-conditioning or an icy glass of water. All in all everything was different from when I was last here. Just a month ago my human self would have been twisting and turning in the sheets of the bed I could see through the window. Yet here I was with one hundred and fifteen years of immortality behind me. I didn't think I'd ever get used to the fact that I could catch up with my human self, visit the same places I once had and know that I was there just moments before. I'd never seen my human self, mainly from fear of what may happen. That and knowledge that my human self had never seen me. I'd already lived through that life to know that much...but maybe, someday in the shadows, I could catch a glimpse of my old human self. Just a glimpse._

_I shifted my feet on the branch I was perched on, positioning myself away from the moonlight. Out of sight, out of mind. All the while I keep my eyes trained on the little white house in front of me. I could hear their breathing, my three friends that I had to leave. Renee, Phil, Dylan, each one unaware that I was here. Maybe one day I would be able to show myself to them but tonight would not be that moment._

_I watched curiously as Dylan's light flicked on and his body shifted on the bed making the springs creak and protest. In slow and steady movements he wheeled his body around and sat on the edge of the bed, scrubbing his hands through his unruly hair and across his face. Even from here I could see he looked different—tired. This wasn't the first night he'd woken up before dawn._

_He heaved himself up and walked across his room to something on the wall next to his door. From here I could make out pictures, collections of friends and family, bands and artists. They were memories to him, they must be._

_I curled my hand around the trunk as I leaned forward with curiosity._

_Dylan seemed to stand for hours just staring at something on that wall before he bent to slip a pair of shoes onto his feet and left his room._

_The next light to turn on was the one in the spare room, revealing Dylan again, standing in his plaid pyjama bottoms and white t shirt. He's just sitting on the bed, his hands brushing over the white cotton and sending his soft fragrance towards me with every sweep. He smelt of sandalwood and something sharper. It was a masculine scent, delectable, and enticing in all the wrong ways._

_I stopped my breathing in the hope the scent would lose its persuasive power. I didn't want to hurt him and even more I didn't want to want to be near him. It was too dangerous for both of us._

_Eventually Dylan moved from the bed, going to open the window with determination._

_I smiled as I watched him clamber out of the window and weave his way up towards the roof. I could remember so clearly what it had felt like to do the same. I could remember how the moon had seemed to shine all the brighter as I sat up there with Dylan and my camera, talking and taking pictures._

_Dylan situated himself on the roof, lying back so the stars lit his face with a silver hue. He was a handsome boy and so kind. My heart almost leapt at what I could have had if I hadn't been what I was. _

_His hands lifted into the sky forming a frame through which he squinted, as if he were taking a picture just as we had._

_"Where are you, Sarelle? Where'd you go?" he murmured before he sighed._

_I gasped in surprise, taking in his scent again. The sadness in his voice was enough to tame the monster but it still caused me a battle. I wanted to go to him and explain, to tell him that I didn't want to leave him, to tell him everything was alright. I couldn't do it though. Aslo had warned me before I came here that I couldn't let them see me._

_As I thought of Aslo I tore my eyes from Dylan. I had promised him I wouldn't be gone long. We were only meant to be passing through Florida, and I knew he would want to leave before the sun came up. We would be trapped inside if the sun came up._

_I took one last look at Dylan. "I'm sorry, maybe one day you'll understand," I whispered before I left into the darkness. _

_

* * *

_

_26th August 2025, Florida._

_"Sarelle, why are we here? Someone might see us." Aslo twitched next to me in the car. He never did like being out in the bright sunny daylight. I imagined his memory of Derren was a major factor in his dislike._

_"This is an important day for her, and him. I want to see him off." I smiled as I saw Renee bustling out the front door of the house, her arms laden with a large cardboard box filled with odds and ends. Close behind her was Dylan shuffling his feet as he carried a bedcover in one hand and an American football in the other._

_"Have you packed your toiletries? Because you can't go days without washing at college." Renee called over her shoulder as she stuffed the box with the others in the blue SUV._

_"You mean I have to actually wash? Wow, and there's me thinking they put showers in the dorms for funsies," Dylan drawled and I chuckled at his sarcasm._

_Renee spun round and clipped him on the side of the head, smiling before she hustled him into a tight hug._

_I could hear her sobs as she cried into his neck._

_"Mom, it's going to be OK. I'll be fine."_

_"Oh I know...It's just New York is so far away...Stay in touch, won't you? Don't go off and forget about your poor old mom." She brushed her hands over his hair as he stood there smiling down at her, the bed cover dangling from his arm._

_"I'll be home every holiday, I promise. I'm not going to forget you, mom."_

_"Is she bubbling away again?" Phil bellowed as he came out of the house with two suitcases._

_"I'm not bubbling. My little boy is all grown up, these are happy tears." Renee sniffed as she let go of Dylan and made her way back up into the house._

_I watched with a smile on my face as they finished packing up Dylan's things into the car._

_He was going to college, moving out, starting his own life. It was amazing to think that the sixteen year old boy I had know was now a man, all grown up and ready to start out on his own._

_"They seem like nice people." Aslo said, and I turned to see him looking at the three of them as they piled into the car._

_"They are. Nice, normal people. They made me feel like I was normal too for a little while." I sighed as I watched the car drive off._

_"You, Kvetina, are too extraordinary to be something as simple as normal." As he spoke Aslo leant over and pulled me into his arms, placing a kiss on my forehead. It was so comforting to have him with me, to smell his evergreen scent around me when he hugged me like this. He made it all seem so normal._

_"Now, Sarelle, please can we go. All this sun is making me antsy." He grinned, his golden eyes brightening as he joked. Those golden eyes that I made a prerequisite to our visit, a little break from our usual diet. I wouldn't risk any of Renee's family seeing those blood red eyes._

_"Of course. Where to?" I smiled as I revved the Porsche's engine._

_"Somewhere utterly bland, lots of cloud and rain and downright miserable weather."_

_"To utterly bland we go."_

_

* * *

__18th February 2028, New York City._

_I purred as I dropped the man from my lips, eyeing Aslo as he finished his last draught from the young woman's neck. His black eyes glimmered in the faint twinkle of the far off city lights, while his hair seemed to glow with its mahogany sheen._

_Perhaps it was just the blood affecting my system but he looked divine, almost as good as this feeling felt. I loved this lust, this bliss and haze that encompassed me after hunting. Plus, to do it with Aslo made it all the better. It was an experience like no other, hunting with a partner, sweeping through the shadows of the city. We'd found this pair of sweet treats in a bar down one of the many dark New York alleys. It didn't take much for them to come outside with us. Aslo charmed the lady with sensual promises while I teased the man with my looks and svelte figure. They were so easily led astray._

_The whole ordeal of it was like that of a sensual seduction. Kisses and touches turned to deathly movements of fang and fear. By the time they felt our teeth pierce their flesh it was too late for them to run, and no one would hear them scream in the dark depths of New York. No one could see past the bright lights of the city that never slept._

_I ran a lazy finger across my lips, capturing a singular droplet of blood as it made a break to trail down my chin._

_I sighed contentedly as I licked the ruby drop from my finger, hearing Aslo's growl rumble in his chest._

_I snapped my eyes open, watching with heavy lids as he swiped his ebony shirt sleeve across his mouth on his way toward me. His stalk was strong and lithe, his shoulders rolling slightly with each step._

_His eyes glinted as a devilish smirk lit his face, the black eyes showing more than hunger. I loved the black so much more than the red. Black meant I could almost kid myself that it wasn't human blood that ran in our veins._

_"You did wonderfully, Kvetina, as always," he crooned in my ear as he stood beside me, both of us admiring the disjointed positions of our victims._

_"I learnt from the best." I smiled as I inhaled his evergreen scent. It had been intensified with the blood that ran in his veins and the slight musky scent that joined it lit my body with a desire I knew I would never truly act on. Neither of us felt those passions for each other, but it was a by-product of hunting this way. We touched and flirted for the benefit of the hunt, it was an act that was designed to entice our prey, but when all the blood was gone it was only natural that our bodies searched for some other form of fulfilment. We never indulged though. Our relationship wasn't made that way._

_I curled my body in close to his as we basked in the glorious feeling that came from the blood in our veins. I felt his hands run over my back and up across my ribs as mine curled over his shoulder blades and tickled through the hair at the base of his neck. This was comfort and closeness and it was what I adored about these moments. He was here with me and he would never leave, not like so many others had been forced to._

_"Couldn't you just stay this way forever?" he murmured as his head nuzzled the top of my own._

_"It's extraordinary, but I don't want forever. Just as long as there is always a tomorrow I'll be happy."_

_Aslo pulled away and grasped my hand in his as he spun me out then twirled me so my back hit against his chest. "Then as the sun is rising, Miss St. Clair, I say with go chase our tomorrow." He chuckled in my ear before releasing me and leaping up the alley walls onto the roof above us._

_"Are you coming?" he grinned down at me._

_"And what of our friends?" I peered back at the bodies behind me._

_"Just another mysterious murder. Now come, the dead are no good for company." he smirked at the irony, and I laughed as I launched myself up to meet him. As we raced through the city's streets I watched around me so the innocent eyes were spared the knowledge of our secret._

_"So what else would you like to do tonight? We have the run of the city, after all," Aslo called to me as we ran._

_I couldn't say why the thought came to me or why I thought it was a good idea given what we had engaged in but the image of Dylan's face popped into my mind with the memory of him packing to leave for University. He had gone to NYC, that was close to here. I was sure of it. Perhaps I could take the risk; perhaps this night could get even better._

_"Would you be adverse to a trip down memory lane, Aslo?" I answered sending him a coy smile as I did so._

_"I chose the meal; you can choose the entertainment for the evening." I nodded but grimaced on the inside. Now that the blood rush was dying down I felt the same twisting sensation in the pit of my stomach. Our last attempt at the animal diet hadn't worked out and I had resigned myself to this life of murder and crimson lust with Aslo, but with each kill came the same feelings of remorse. The same images of glassy eyed victims, my parents being the first on my list. A litany to repeat until another name joined the stream of names._

_I shook my head and growled softly, trying to clear those feelings of disgust from my system. I was a vampire, I was created to kill, it was natural, Aslo had educated me as such. But if it was natural, why did it feel so wrong?_

_I forced myself faster and as we neared Dylan's flat I started my search from his scent of sandalwood. I hadn't come here often, just a couple of times to reassure myself that he was safe, and living the life he deserved. There had been a couple of moments when I thought of revealing myself but they soon passed when Aslo buzzed my phone to remind me of the secret and the importance that it stayed hidden. He was very strict with that fact. Of course his past with Derren had instilled that rule to the point that it was almost ingrained into his skin._

_"I take it we're paying a visit to your boy," Aslo said as we dropped down to street level._

_"Do you mind?" I asked as I cast him a glance. His eyes were a ruby red now, as mine would be to an extent. My eyes would always hold fragments of my human eyes colour, a strange mix when paired with red eyes._

_"I trust your reasons. I know you'll be careful."_

_"Of course."_

_"He's five hundred yards on the left, drunk by the smell of him. Is he even legal yet?"_

_I gasped as I remembered the day, Dylan's birthday. His twenty-first to be exact. I had completely forgotten, a silly thing for a vampire to do._

_"It was his birthday today. He must have been out celebrating."_

_"Yes, well, his celebrating has left him smelling like a brewery, not even I would take a nip of him." Aslo's face twisted as he inhaled the air again. I cast a disgruntled look at him; he could be so crude sometimes._

_I breathed in the air delicately and sure enough the sandalwood fragrance was nearly swamped by the bitter smell of vodka and beer._

_I walked slowly through the shadows of the street to see Dylan staggering around the corner of the next block up. A four pack of beer was dangling precariously from his hand as he raised the fourth can up to his mouth before discarding it on the pavement._

_"Stay here, I'll be back soon. I just want to make sure he gets home OK."I shot at Aslo as he nodded and leant back against the wall of the building, crossing his arms and tilting his head up at the moon._

_I followed Dylan's staggering footsteps and drunk mumblings, keeping my distance so as not to invoke questions. It wasn't until I lost him when he rounded a corner that I felt nervous or even recognised how eerie the night seemed. It was too quiet around here. Just as I felt my senses heighten I heard voices raise and the noises of shoes shuffling on the pavement, cans dropping to the floor. I didn't know what Dylan was running from, or what he was being cornered by, but I knew I had to hurry._

_I stopped, frantically looking around as I tried to listen to something, to anything. I heard a loud shout in the distance, and I recognised it from anywhere. It was Dylan and it was coming from the North. I followed its echoes, this time not caring if anyone saw me. I jumped over cars and over fences, pushing all other thoughts to the background as I scaled walls to get closer to him. I had never truly had anything to try to save, to keep alive, but the desperation tit created filled me with more urgency than any hunt had ever done. I had to save him, and to do that I had to push my body faster than it had ever gone. _

_I heard chuckles mingling with grunts of exertion. As I went closer to the fight, I heard a loud smack, like someone was hit in the face, and then a groan._

_I stopped instantly, almost tripping before I caught myself to look down a dark alley, my eyes quickly picking up the man pinning Dylan to the wall while his head hung limply on his neck._

_My body raged with fury, and with it came the itch I had to scratch—the itching energy in my limbs that would only be satisfied when blood had been spilt. The man's blood smelt as good as ever, awakening the monster that had only just been satiated. I was there instantly, pulling the guy off Dylan with a growl._

_I tossed his body across the alley until he hit the dumpster, the other man moving back towards the corner in fear. I was at the guy by the dumpster instantly, my hands gripping the collar of his shirt as I lifted him into the air, my other hand grabbing his arm as I cracked it in half like a twig. He let out a blood-curling scream, but it only filled me with more desire to kill him. Dylan's body hit the ground and I watched him carefully out the corner of eye. I could still hear his breathing which was the only reason why I didn't run to him instantly. Or at least that was what I told myself in the moment. In truth I probably couldn't leave the violence even if Dylan had been worse off. The monster was in complete control right now and it didn't want to give up the fight just yet._

_I turned back to the man who was crying in pain, his torn arm hanging off his body as the blood filled my nostrils. I threw him against the brick wall, his legs cracking before I was in front of him again._

_He pleaded through gasps and cries but I gave him no mercy. He deserved no mercy. He was filth and I smiled with satisfaction as I saw his form morph through the faces of all those who had hurt me, the same terror and agony written on their expressions. _

_My fist went back and forward completely threw his stomach until it was to the bricks that formed the wall behind him. Blood was now visible as it slid down my arm and onto the floor. It's aroma tempting me to take a bite, although I resisted on principle. He was dirt and I would never infect my body with such a toxin._

_The monster roared inside me as it registered the man had died instantly. Instead I dropped his body like the trash he was. _

_"Are you going to have all the fun, Sarelle?" Aslo said as he stood resting against the alley wall, his eyes glimmering in the darkness while he looked on hungry for action._

_I took the dead man's hand and swung him into the dumpster, an unceremonious burial for an unceremonious criminal._

_"There, you can have the other one." I forced out as I glared at the man in the corner, his crying irritating my ears. The anger had me breathing hard but I soon composed myself enough to offer the man a sickly sweet smile. _

"_No! Please! It was his idea!" He cried, but I ignored his pleas as I went to take Dylan into my arms. I listened with a form of satisfaction as my mentor had his fun. Aslo took the man's arm, bending it in a way that it shouldn't be bent while he let out the loud scream. It wasn't as deafening as the other man's, but I still craved it._

_I bent down and carefully lifted Dylan into my arms, assessing his injuries with my senses. He was bleeding both internal and from the cuts on his brow and cheek, but he would heal. The bruises on his face would no doubt shine purple in the morning but he was intact and he was alive. That was the most important thing, even if his unconscious heartbeat was faint. _

_I began walking with him in my arms, crossing the alley and straight towards his house. When I arrived, I was relieved to see his roommates hadn't returned home. A window in the living room was cracked open and I slowly opened it, climbing in with him as I searched for his room. Even though it was a small apartment I managed to find his bathroom, kitchen, front door, and other bedrooms all before finding his all the way in the back. I could tell it was his from his posters that were hung on the walls and the whole place seemed to bleed his scent._

_I took him back into the bathroom, setting him on the closed toilet as I got a wash cloth, putting it under warm water. My arm was around his shoulder to keep him up straight as I began to wipe the dirt and mud off his face, also pulling off the clothes that I could. He was unconscious, and I felt like I was almost violating him, but I knew if he was awake he would need me to do this._

_I felt myself whimpering, because I couldn't bear to stand to look at him like this. The bruises covering his face were horrendous, but still I could see Dylan under them. All his charm, smiles, and enthusiasm for life. Yet, he seemed so different. Even in rest his forehead seemed to crease and his scruffy hair didn't have the same life to it. The glimmer he used to possess seemed to have gone._

_"You've grown up so fast," I murmured as I brushed his hair back from his damp forehead._

_I froze as I felt him stir beneath me, his head rolling slightly as his eyes fluttered. "Mmmm, that's nice. Cold. Nice and...cold." he slurred with a husky voice that seemed to lack its hidden smile._

_He breathed deeply and I saw a faint smile form on his split lip before he sighed, releasing a waft of stale alcohol._

_I shut off my breathing as I lifted him again and moved him to his room, lying him on the bed as gently as I could. It was strange to be in his room again, it was so similar to the one he'd had when he was sixteen, but there were the obvious changes that had come with age. His music collection was bigger, there were less posters of half naked women, and there was a large scattering of coursework. There were still constants: his clothes still lived on the floor rather than the wardrobe and baseball trophies still held pride of place on his shelves. He was still the same boy I knew. He was just buried under something else, something that made those little creases on his brow._

_I took a little longer to look around his room; it would probably be the only time I would get the opportunity for a long time. Aslo and I would have to move on soon, no matter how much fun New York had been._

_I thumbed through odd essays he'd written, journalism pieces and political commentaries on the nation's issues. He had found his place in the world and it seemed he was doing well at settling into it._

_As I passed my eyes over the papers I saw a large black notebook fitted snugly between guitar sheet music and old school yearbooks. Down the spine read my name so as my curiosity fuelled me I pulled it free and spread its pages out before me._

_With each moment I looked at the pages before me I felt myself fill with astonishment. There were internet searches, old history exerts, pictures of me and him, images of us all together with Phil and Renee, emails sent and questions unanswered. Before me was a collection of five years research that Dylan had clearly been working on since I disappeared. He had recorded conversations he'd overhead Renee and Phil having, he'd written down stories Renee had told him about me, each morsel of information noted down with his thoughts and interpretations. He even had the letter I had written Bella and Renee before I jumped from Florida in 1989._

_What shocked me the most was that he had gathered pieces of information that I thought would never have been uncovered. He had knowledge of the bank account Aslo had opened for me, including the date it was opened. He had ex-government information regarding reports of disappearances of victims with my description. It was clear that his journalism skills had come to his aid in his search revealing truths with monumental implications. He was so close to knowing what I was, my secret. Could I let him do that?_

_I ran my hand through my hair before closing the notebook with a stunned motion. He had never forgotten me, never given up trying to find me._

_I grinned in spite of myself as I realised he had inherited more of Renee's inquisitive nature than I'd thought._

_Dylan stirred again on the bed so I rose and swiftly slotted the notebook back into the place it belonged. He would wake soon. After a few moments, I leaned forward as I pressed a kiss to his forehead, looking to the side of me to see a picture. It was the two of us and I picked it up with a smile on my face. We were so innocent; it was strange to think how far I felt from those days now. I looked up to Dylan once again, sighing as I set the picture down, making my way to the bed. I wanted those days back. I wanted to be his friend and be able to watch him live his life and not have to do it from the shadows._

_I sat there with him as I contemplated what life would be like having him as a friend again. Aslo would probably have to adjust to having a human know about us, and of course he wouldn't be too happy with me at first, but it could work. Maybe it would help with our control as well. It would have to because after tonight I didn't think I could go back to drinking human blood. It hit home harder than I thought, the feeling of worry I'd had for Dylan's welfare. Someone would have been thinking that about my victims, only they hadn't been able to save them. I didn't like the guilt that came with that. _

_I was pulled out of my thoughts when Dylan began moving, until his body turned towards me and we were facing each other, and I was staring at his closed eyelids_

_"I'm sorry I didn't make it in time." I froze, but Dylan did nothing, just lay here, his eyes still closed as his heart went at a soft pace, "I'm sorry for leaving you," I whispered _

_"I'll always be here for you." I lied through my teeth, and wanted it so much to be the truth._

"_Sarelle?…" I heard a soft whisper, it sending chills down my spine. I looked down at Dylan whose eyes were open but I knew he wasn't awake. They were groggy and he closed them again, his breathing still the same. Just looking at those blue eyes made me shiver. I'd missed them so much. I leaned down by his bed, grabbing his hand as I brought it to my lips, "I've missed you, more than I realised." I told him in a hush whisper and he sighed softly. _

_"Missed you too, Sarelle. You left me," Dylan grumbled with sleepy words. This must have been a dream to him._

_"I didn't want to, you know that, don't you?"_

_"You're gone." He snorted a little in his sleep before his mouth fell open and his body flopped again on the bed._

_"I'm right here, Dylan, it could be like old times." I squeezed his hand involuntarily and regretted it the moment he started to stir._

_Should I tell him? Would Aslo forgive me if I did? I wanted to but was that selfish of me?_

_I dithered too long as Dylan's eyes gradually cracked open. His eyes searched his room with a questioning stare as he woke up, and I quickly released his hand so he wouldn't register the cold immediately. I had to ease him into this. For that cause I was grateful for the dim lighting. My eyes would be as red as rubies, but at least in this light they wouldn't be quite as bright._

_"Who the fuck are you?" he queried with a muffled slur._

_I chuckled softly at his language; it clearly hadn't gotten better with the years._

_"Still the same old Dylan."_

_"Yeah I'm Dylan, but who the hell are you and why are you in my room? How the fuck am I in my room?" He looked towards the window then down at his clothes._

_"Did you do this to me? Christ, my head." He groaned while I sat in silence. Why couldn't the words come to me?_

_"Well say something? What the hell are you doing in my flat?" he growled so I moved off the bed to give him some space._

_"I saw you outside, you were hurt, I wanted to help...I couldn't let you die." I dropped my head and bit my lip against the image of Dylan's coffin in my mind._

_"Wait, I recognise you. Have we met before?"_

_I nodded as I peeked up through my hair, keeping my face away from the streetlights._

_"S-Sarelle?" Dylan stuttered as he gawped at me, his eyes wide if not a little blurry._

_"It's you isn't it, for real," he whispered, and I turned a little so he could see me clearer._

_"Fuck me..." Dylan uttered as his mouth dropped open and his hand travelled slowly to run through his hair, wincing at the movement. _

**_Bruised ribs, _**_I thought sadly._

_"Always first with the profanities." I chuckled and saw his face flash with a dazed smile._

_"This can't be real. Five years, I thought...are you sure you're not a figment of my imagination..I am seriously wasted right now."_

_"I'm real. I promise."_

_I tensed when Dylan stood up from the bed with a wobble, the adrenaline of the situation was rife in my body and I hoped it wouldn't ignite the monster in me._

_"I can't believe it." He grinned as he rushed towards me, his arms open._

_I flashed across the room in a moment of panic. If he touched me he would know I was different. I had to explain first._

_"What the..."_

_"Dylan, let me explain."_

_"Yeah, explain...'cause that was...uh."_

_"I'm different. I'm still me, but I'm different." I edged forward as he nodded numbly._

_"You always were...different I mean."_

_"Yes, you're right, but now I'm more than I once was, but you have no reason to be scared. I promise you that."_

_"Sarelle, you're freaking me out. Just let me see you. I've waited five years."_

_I stepped into the light, making sure to move slowly as I came towards him and raised my eyes to his._

_"Jesus." He gasped as he staggered back. "W-what are you? Y-y-your eyes," he stammered as he stared with horror._

_"They won't always be like this, it's just...temporary."_

_"You're not Sarelle. This isn't real. It can't be. You look...You're a monster!" he scrabbled backwards, clutching the edge of his drawers._

_"Dylan, it's me," I pleaded but he just shook his head violently, his body shaking as his eyes roved over me, growing wider the more they saw. I looked down and saw the smears of blood I'd forgotten to clean up. I'd been so focussed on Dylan that I had completely neglected my own state._

_"What did you do? What have you done to her? Why are you here? What do you want?"_

_"Dylan, please calm down." I rushed towards him as I tried to reason with him. In a second his heart raced a beat too fast, and I watched him fall unconscious into a slump on the floor. He had fainted._

_I was so much of a monster that I scared him to the point of fainting._

_I sucked in a breath as my hand went over my mouth in shock. So many people saw the vampire exterior as something sexy and beautiful, very few saw it as something horrifying, yet the one person I wanted to accept me had been too terrified to see the person beneath my vampire self._

_I sniffled as I placed Dylan once more in his bed. If luck were with me perhaps he would forget everything that happened. A drunken dream in his mind but a wakeup call in my own._

_If I ever wanted to get back the humanity I lost then I would have to stop trying to fool myself that my current way of life was the only way forward._

_I pulled away, hearing the front door open, "I', sorry... for everything. Don't do anything stupid." I chuckled under my breath but I heard the heart ache as well, "Take care of yourself, Dylan."_

_

* * *

_

2nd May 2033

_I sat in front of my vanity mirror, placing my locket around my neck where it sat perfectly, shining against my pale-cold skin. I bit down onto my bottom lip as I looked down at the clock next to my jewellery box, the big hand ticking to twelve o'clock in the afternoon. I heard a knock on my door, my eyes looking into the mirror as I saw Aslo's reflection in the mirror. He was dressed in a white shirt with black pants, my smile growing as I turned around to look at him._

_"Is it nice enough?" he asked as I stood up, walking to him in my white robe, not dressed just yet. I fixed his buttons – smiling as I then looked up to him._

_"You look good," I said with a smile._

_"Are you sure this is what you want to do?" He asked, raising a brow._

_"Not entirely, but I'm as certain as I'll ever be." Aslo nodded his head in understanding but his topaz eyes still watched mine, "It's his wedding day and I just feel like I should be there, even if he won't know it."_

_"I know this is important to you, Sarelle." Aslo started, his stare intent on my own. "But you must promise me that we are going only to watch. Nothing more." He spoke earnestly, and I nodded solemnly. Aslo was taking a great leap of faith in coming with me. Not only in risking our discovery but also in testing his thirst. He wasn't as set upon our new diet as I was and it would be a great test for him to sit amongst so many humans for such a period of time. _

_"We will be fine, I promise."_

_"How can you be so sure?" he asked uncertainly as I turned back to twist my hair back into a loose bun. I looked over my shoulder, my hands securing my hair, and for a moment I saw the man that so rarely showed in Aslo. The man who wasn't sure on everything, who questioned his motives and actions, the one who seemed to lack the confidence he had gained through the hundreds of years of living._

_I placed my hands onto his shoulders, squeezing gently as I looked deep into his eyes, "Trust me."_

_Aslo sighed and gave me a smile before I quickly nudged him, "Out you go. I need to get dressed," I whispered, pushing him out of my room so I could finally slip into the pale pink dress I had chosen for the occasion. It was fairly neutral, nothing that would draw the eyes and yet the small detail of the straps crossing at the back added the perfect little something. I walked to my closet, and slid the dress over my slender frame in seconds. The light fabric floating to lie against my skin as it hung at my knees._

_I finished up and looked into my tall mirror to check my appearance one last time. Being in this Vampire body, I knew I'd look good in anything. But I never saw that Vampire when I looked in the mirror. I saw the old me, and I saw my old flaws and my insecurities. The scars I'd gained from rough encounters and the human features that the venom had eradicated. I leant over to grab my silver heels, latching them on as a few stray strands of hair fell over the right side of my head. I finally sat up, walking to the door as I opened it. _

_Aslo stood ready and waiting in the hallway everything pristine except for the awful skew of his tie._

_I let out a soft laugh as I walked down the hallway, taking in a deep breath as I walked to him._

_"How do I look?" I asked him as I twirled._

_"A delight for the eyes," Aslo answered with a smile._

_"Thank you," I replied smiling just before rolling my eyes and grabbing his tie, "Alive for over half a century and you still don't know how to put on a tie properly." I smirked, raising a brow._

_"Who said I didn't know how to put it on properly?" He asked with a smirk just before glancing down at me as I finished tying his tie, "What is the point of wearing a tie" he whispered, "If there is no lovely woman to help you put it on?" _

_"Ever so debonair, Mr Finn." I grinned, before swatting him playfully on the chest as I finished the tie, "There you go."_

_"Thank you, Miss St. Clair." He smirked and then offered me his arm. "Now, let us go dally with the humans for a while, before than cloud breaks and all hell lets loose."_

_I shuffled down the row and settled in a seat with Aslo beside me, the music beginning to play. The room was a hushed quiet, besides the whispers of the guests._

_"God forbid, please don't tell me Dylan forgot the rings."_

_"I hope Hallie doesn't trip."_

_"The music is so sweet."_

_"I hate weddings, it only reminds me of my own pitiful single life. Why am I even here?"_

_"Can we start this already?" I stifled a smile as I heard Dylan mutter under his breath, looking to the ceiling while he shifted on his feet. He was nervous, I could see as much. I could smell it in his scent as well but I put that knowledge to the back of my mind._

_The music swelled and the large oak doors opened wide, the draft sending another flood of human scents towards Aslo and I. I clutched his hand in mine, and felt his thumb brush over the top. He was coping, and I prayed his will held out._

_"She's so beautiful," I whispered, watching as the bride seemed to glide up the aisle. She was already halfway down but by the look in Dylan's face she wasn't anywhere near close enough. I smiled as I heard the people around us praise her, smiling as she passed each and everyone of them, "I always dreamed of that," I whispered again to no one in particular. I had always wanted that moment of walking up the aisle, wearing a beautiful dress, heading towards the love of my life. It all seemed lifetimes ago now. _

_"One day, Sarelle," Aslo said as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "One day will be yours and yours alone."_

_I leant in to his hug and fell silent as the ceremony progressed. We watched as Dylan stood up beside his bride, Hallie Barker, listening to the Priest as he marked their Marriage, both exchanging their vows._

_As Hallie and Dylan kissed to completely tie their marriage together, a smile broke out on my lips and as I peeked up at Aslo I noticed a smile of his own faintly dancing across his features. He may not have been one for human traditions but it seemed he connected more with them than he let on._

_Everyone stood up and cheered while Aslo and I slowly rose and assumed a quiet disposition so we didn't gain too much attention. As everyone stood and cheered, I peered to see if anyone was looking at us. Even though we were standing near the back of the church I could still see people's curious eyes passing over us with interest._

_"Who are **they**?" I heard a voice whisper, my eyes quickly darting to one of the bridesmaids. She and one of the others were looking directly at Aslo and me, so I casually resumed watching the happy couple as they paraded down the aisle, gaining handshakes and hugs as they went._

_Aslo grasped my hand in his and squeezed in reassurance, directing my attention to him. "What do we do?" I asked, ensuring my face remained free from worry._

_"Just relax, stay calm. Humans are naturally suspicious, if we depart in a hurry it will do us no favours."_

_I followed Aslo's lead as he rose, smiling genially at everyone and no one at once. He never directed his at anyone in particular, he just seemed like everybody else._

_He released my hand and instead lightly guided me forward by soft touches to the top of my arm, all the while I looked around the church in wonder. All these people had attended the wedding so they must have had some part to play in Dylan's life. It was amazing and wonderful to see so many who cared for him._

_My eyes scanned the crowd, wanting to see who he chose to keep as company, who in the crowd was his best man, who sat in the front rows. As I looked at the chattering crowd of people and watched Dylan duck his head to dodge the confetti being thrown—his arm fixed around Hallie's waist—I found myself caught in the gaze of a woman in a yellow hat. Her blue eyes widened as they met mine and her tanned freckled skin stretched into a smile. I twisted a little to see her better and the moment I saw the flash of wavy brown hair I felt a smile of my own beam across my face._

**_Renee, hello old friend..._**

I smiled as I remembered the wedding and the subsequent night when I took the risk and allowed myself to talk to Renee. It was because of that night that I knew of this place.

I settled my back on the tree trunk as I closed my eyes and listened to the life around me. I knew this spot well, or at least as well as it was possible to know a place you had visited a handful of times. Still, there was something calming about the tall leafy trees and quiet family houses. Of course there was only one family home that had my attention and it wasn't by the wish of my thirst.

This little two story house in Essex, America, had been a focal point in my mind ever since Dylan moved here fourteen years ago. I never dared to visit since finding out the address from Renee, but it was always on my radar.

"Dyl, I know you love him, but I can't cope anymore," a female voice said amongst the clatter on pans.

"What if I cut down my hours, I could help out more," Dylan replied, his voice weary.

"We can barely afford this house as it is, how would we pay the bills if you went part time? I think, maybe it's time we think about getting him into a home," the woman replied, her voice travelling across the room and softening as she talked.

"He's my dad, Hallie, I can't just...pack him off, leave him...not so soon after losing Mom."

Hallie, of course, his wife. I'd seen them marry fourteen years ago.

"It's been four years, honey, he's not getting any better. When Renee was alive, she kept him together, but without her...It's too much for us to handle, he's needs professional care. Someone who knows how to deal with Dementia at this stage." I hung my head and sent some silent words of condolence to Dylan. I had been there when he buried Renee and I knew how much that had affected him. To hear that Phil was almost lost to him now was a sad turn of events.

I got distracted from the conversation when the back door burst open and brought with it the sound of giggles and the scents of home.

"Catch me if you can!" a young girls voice sounded out so I peered around the tree trunk and saw two little girls now playing in the garden on the other side of the fence. One was older than the other, but only by a couple of years. By the way they moved and their heights I guessed they were around eight and five.

They were sweet little girls, in every manner. One had hair the colour of melted maple syrup while the eldest's was the shade of honey. Their eyes were bright like little aqua-blue candies, nestled in toffee coloured skin. I tried not to dwell on their scents, that was a sweetness I couldn't allow myself to acknowledge.

"I don't want to play catch. I want to play Adventurers!" the younger of the two shouted.

"That's only because you're legs are so little and you can't run as fast." The older of the two stood with her hands on her hips as she teased her sister.

"Is not. Daddy said I'm super fast." The little girl pouted and I couldn't help but laugh at the stubbornness in her features. She was just as fiery and determined as Dylan.

"Who are you?" the little girl ran over as soon as she spied me, although I didn't worry. I was sure I was one of many to catch their attention on the other side of the fence. The public park their house backed onto seemed to be a popular spot.

"Ellie, Mom says not to talk to strangers." The older of the two murmured in the young one's ear but it was clear that her words were ignored.

"I can talk to who I want," the girl replied to her sister before sticking out her tongue.

I stood slowly and smiled in reassurance. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you. Ellie's a very pretty name."

"It's Ellen really. And my name's Sara." The older of the two stood a little straighter, casting a smug eye down at her sister. She was confident, the perfect older example of an older sibling.

"Both lovely names for lovely little girls." I took a step closer to the fence, out of the cover of the tree but safe under the cloudy sky.

"Mummy said she let daddy choose them because she already knew us so well." Sara said as she played with the bottom of her plaits.

"Yeah because we lived in her tummy!" Ellie announced with a bright smile, revealing a missing front tooth.

I chuckled as I watched them together, they were close. It was obvious in the way Sara watched her sister with a wary eye and her sister occasionally looked up to check her sister's approval. Not that she followed it often.

"Your dad made wonderful choices."

"Daddy chose them to remind him of his best friend." Ellie explained as she looked back to the house, a look of mischief on her face.

"Really?" I asked while my eyes cast over to see Hallie pass across the kitchen window. She looked well, although the turned down set of her mouth suggested Dylan hadn't accepted her previous proposal.

"He told us all about her. Mummy didn't like that very much. She told Aunt Rachel that she thought he loved his friend more than her," Sara rambled through her words, her eyes darting away whenever she made contact with my own golden ones.

"I'm sure your daddy loves your mummy very much," I said warmly as I rested my arms on the top of the fence.

"He gets sad when he talks about his friend," Ellie mumbled as her bottom lip jutted out. I could imagine how it must confuse her to see her father as anything other than superman.

"Nana Renee said she disappeared to live in Never-Never land, but daddy missed her." Sara piped up as her hand lightly grasped her sister's.

Ellie quickly dropped her sister's hand as she gained a new bound of energy, her emotions flying from one place to another as was the same with all five year olds.

"We told daddy that he shouldn't be sad because daddy's can't go to Never-Never land." She giggled sweetly, and I felt my face smile with her.

"You're very right," I cooed, glad that Dylan had such a wonderful family with him at this time.

"You're very pretty," Ellie said as her head cocked to the side and her eyes examined me with new found intrigue.

"Ellie," Sara hissed, embarrassed at her sister forthcoming words.

I laughed and watched as their face became dazed, stunned by the sound of music and bells. The sound of a predator.

"Thank you, Ellie. But I'm not as beautiful as you and your sister."

At that moment, just as their smiles brightened, the clouds parted and I found myself caught in a shaft of bright sunlight.

"Wow! You're all sparkly!" Sara said, her mouth open in a little 'o'.

Her sister gasped beside her as her eyes greedily studied my skin. "Are you a fairy? Are you Tinkerbelle?"

I smiled at their naivety, their trusting nature. "Can you keep a secret?"

They nodded in reply so I leant a little further forward, lowering my voice.

"Daddy's friend sent me to make sure he's happy. She's misses daddy very much, but she's very happy in Never-Never land."

"Wow, really?" Ellen grinned, her eyes lighting with the secret knowledge of magic and fairytales.

"Really." I nodded as the two girls looked at each other with amazement. "Do you know what will make daddy very happy?"

The girls shook their heads.

"If, tonight, you give him a big hug before you go to sleep. Can you do that for me? It would make daddy's friend very happy too."

They nodded and before they could say another word I heard the back door open again and a faint whisper of Dylan's scent drifted through the air towards me triggering a smile at it's familiarity.

"Sara, Ellie. Food's ready!" The waft of their dinner hit my nose and I struggled against the impulse to scrunch my nose at the rotten smell of it.

"You had better hurry up, you're having spaghetti." I coaxed them forward with my eyes as I stepped back into the shadow of the tree.

"Girls, come on. It's getting cold!" Dylan called again, his body only just visible through the shrubbery we were standing behind.

"Off you go," I urged with a grin, waving the two of them off as they raced back to their father's voice.

"Daddy! Daddy! We saw a fairy!" they called, and I watched peacefully through the shrub as Dylan caught Ellen and spun her up into his arms. His face wearing a blinding smile as Sara clung to his spare arm.

"Oh really? Where?" He looked out over the garden, humouring their excitement.

"At the bottom of the garden. She had beautiful blond hair, and she sparkled! Her eyes were awesome! They were green, and brown, and gold! Can you believe that Dad? She had gold eyes! And she came from Never-Never land," Sara gushed as they started to move inside.

Dylan's eyes searched the garden a little more definitely now. "Really. Did she tell you her name? Was she called Tinkerbelle?"

I smirked as I remembered Garrett's nickname for me.

"Ha, no dad." Ellie giggled before she curled her arms around his neck and snuggled her face into the crook.

"You shouldn't talk to strangers girls," Dylan said before kissing Ellen's head and stroking a hand over Sara's hair.

"Sorry, dad." She sighed.

"Come on, girls. Mummy's made spaghetti."

"Nyum, nyum." Ellen hummed happily as Dylan chuckled and blew a raspberry on her skin. "Forget fairies, you two are my little angels."

I stayed for a short while longer as I listened to the family but all the while Sara and Ellen's words replayed in my mind along with the memory of Dylan's notebook. When I left him as my human self all those years ago in Florida I had never thought about the consequences it might have on his later life. I just assumed he'd move on. Instead I'd created a loose end that was just too frayed to tie up. I couldn't do that again, so with that thought I picked myself up from my place under the tree, placed my bag on my back, and set off back home. I was done running, for once and for all.

**Thanks for reading. Previews available as always. x**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

_Thank you for the reviews! Glad you liked the look into Dylan's life, and also that so many of you liekd his character. Here's the next chapter._

_x_

Chapter 6:

It was quiet when I returned home, a still silence that told me something had changed. I could sense that I wasn't alone but as I climbed the stairs to my room I wondered why they chose to remain in their rooms.

As I dropped my bag on the bed and sat breathing in the smell of home I felt them all converge towards me.

I looked up as there was a knock on the door and saw the three females of the original Denali coven watching me in trepidation. At the front and centre of the trio was Tanya who clutched a bundle in her hand and two old books pressed to her chest.

"Welcome home." Kate smiled as I waved them in.

"Why is it so quiet here? I know I wasn't gone for long but a little recognition that I'm back would be nice." I joked as they each reached forward to hug me and Tanya glanced at the items she had carried in.

"Sorry, you know we've missed you, but there was something we wanted to talk to you about before the banners and balloons," Tanya explained as Kate and Carmen exchanged looks.

"While you were gone, we talked with the Cullens, and well, Rosalie let something slip." I watched as Tanya pushed the two large albums towards me.

"These are yours, chica," Carmen said softly, and I brushed the leather surface and reached to peel open one of the albums. As I did I smiled at the small square picture in front of me. _The Masens, 1905,_ I read under the black and white print before looking to the photo next to it and seeing Casey and me in the photo that had been taken by the hairdresser in Florida. I ran my finger lightly over the image of my younger self, the happiness in my eyes.

"Where did you find these?" I wondered as I continued to look through the photos.

"The Cullens had them. There are these two photo albums, a camera, some clothes, trinkets, a couple of diaries, and a sketchbook. Apparently it was all left behind with them in March 2006 when you..." Kate stopped talked and looked to Tanya.

"You know everything, don't you," I murmured as I looked at the three of them.

"We only know what we've been told. We haven't looked at any of this. We weren't sure if you would want us to," Tanya explained.

"They all thought you had been killed by the Volturi, for all these years. Did you really escape?" Carmen asked as she touched a comforting hand to my back.

A waft of Eleazar's scent made me look up, and I saw him standing in the doorway, his eyes set on me as he brought me courage.

"No, not exactly," I whispered as I gave the three women an apologetic look.

"Oh, mi señor. Usted novia pobres." Carmen comforted.

"I'm sorry to lie to you, but I didn't want to place you in danger. If Aro was to ever find me and he found out that you knew all along...I didn't want to put you under that risk."

"So the Cullens were right to believe that this happened to you when you were in Volterra." Kate interpreted and I nodded.

"Did you know of this, Eleazar?" Carmen asked her husband with disbelief.

"Sarelle and I had met on an occasion once before, an event I'm sure will be bitterly documented in that diary of hers." Eleazar smiled and I grinned as I nodded.

"Yes I wasn't particularly nice about you." I searched behind Eleazar for Garrett but I couldn't see or smell him anywhere. "Where's Garrett?"

"He's at the Cullens' house. He offered to call if any left the house, just in case. I assumed you would prefer the Cullens to remain in the dark on the method of your turning." Tanya clarified as she watched with steady eyes.

"You saw how it had affected Rosalie. I don't see why they have to know when they will be happier in ignorance."

Four sets of eyes exchanged glances before Kate spoke. "We'll keep our mouths shut, but if there ever comes a time when they need to know, then we'll have to tell them, Sarelle."

"Now out you go Eleazar, it's time for girl talk," Tanya said with a cheeky smile and Eleazar held up his hands and went with a smirk of his own.

As the door shut looked as the three female vampires shared looks of conspiracy.

"Spit it out you three," I said nonchalantly as I continued to skim through the photo album, like passing over the years in high speed.

"So you and Edward," Kate blurted out and I stopped dead on the page that coincidently held a picture of Edward and I dressed in our fifties outfit, Valentine's day.

"Did Rosalie let that slip as well?" I asked as I slowly looked up at them from the photo album.

"Are you kidding, that was the first thing she let slip. All this other stuff came later." Kate gabbled. "As soon as she found out you'd gone off for a little holiday she spilled the beans."

"Damn Rosalie Lilian Hale," I growled.

"Well according to her you're the Cullen family secret that not even Bella knows. That's why all this stuff is so untouched."

"Seems fair enough. Edward and I are history."

"Aw look at you two there. I didn't realise you were the one Esme seemed so excited about all those years ago," Tanya said as she looked at the picture of Edward and I smiling at each other in the meadow.

"You're eyes are so unusual for a human," Carmen commented and I chuckled at the number of times I'd heard the same thing.

"My mother had green eyes, and my father had these brown ones with little flecks of gold. I just ended up with a mix."

"You're lucky, with your gold eyes now they seem no different to when you were human. Those funny little hazel cracks you have," Carmen said as she studied the fragments of hazel in my eyes now.

"Edward Cullen," Tanya sighed in wonder. "What's he liked?" She asked as she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Tanya!" I scolded playfully.

"Oh she's been curious for years, used to try and seduce the poor boy when he was just a newborn." Kate added in tone that made it sound like it should be an obvious assumption.

"Well..." Tanya said impatiently.

"He's pretty wonderful," I said softly as I looked at an image of Edward watching me passionately over his black baby grand piano. "From what I remember, anyway. Just a human crush, now."

"Hey," Kate gripped my hand and caught my attention. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I replied quickly. "Do you want to see some of this stuff? There's all sorts here from what I remember." They agreed excitedly and we started to rummage through my old belongings, all the while my mind repeated. _I'm Fine._

It was strange to see and feel all the things that I had once taken for granted. I hadn't had them around me in so long that there were things that surprised me by their presence there. We spent hours pouring over the little dresses and things that took us back to different times in our lives. I was grateful that my diary stayed untouched other for when I found exerts that fit into a time I was talking about. For me that diary was too private for eyes other than my own to gaze upon.

The small parts of the diary I did read made me realise just how much I had changed over the years. As I read I felt the weight of some of my uglier exploits fall heavy upon me. The girl in that diary would never had killed, or used her appearance as a lure. She wouldn't have slept with random men to try and find something that was missing in her. I could see her still buried deep within me but I didn't know if she would ever been seen on the surface.

As the dawn came we were all lying next to each other on the bed, the two photo albums sprawled out in front of us as we scanned through them.

"He's quite cute. I wouldn't mind getting up close and personal with him," Tanya said seductively as she saw a photo of Dylan and I on his roof.

I laughed as I thought how fast Dylan would probably have jumped at the chance when he was that age. "You succubus." I teased as Tanya winked and replied, "and proud of it, darling." She held up her inner wrist as proof.

We all giggled before we were interrupted by a heartbeat entering the room. "Who's a cutie?" Renesmee asked as she bounced into the room and came to the foot of the bed to see what we were all looking at, her mother following quietly behind.

"Just a boy I knew," I said shortly as I turned the page and saw the pictures of the party Dylan and I had attended.

"When was this?" Bella asked over her daughters shoulder.

"March 2023, Florida," I replied with a curt tone as I felt a mild irritation at Bella intruding on something she had no part in, a person's history that she had stepped out of.

"Oh." I could see her trying to see around where my fingers sat over the names of the people in the photo.

"I jumped and stayed with Renee, your mother," I said with a cold tone as I looked up at Bella and moved my fingers. "She was still with Phil and that boy—" I pointed to Dylan in the picture. "—was your half brother. Dylan. It's a shame you never made the effort to get to know him. He was an amazing person. He has two little girls now, Sara and Ellen."

"I... You don't understand." I started to rise from the bed, stepping off to stand face to face with Bella.

"Oh I understand perfectly, Isabella. You thought it was better to cut contact, better to leave them. 'for their own safety', 'for the sake of the secret'. Such a pathetic excuse."

"Don't you dare judge me. It was very hard to leave her. But I had to, the Volturi would have killed her otherwise." I felt the others move from the bed behind me, arranging themselves on the outskirts.

"Hmmm, an interesting point and yet _I_ went to visit her when I was changed. She met me and noticed the difference but I let her form her own conclusions, conclusions that did not require the involvement of the Volturi. I was even there the night before her death. I was a part of their lives because they are important enough to me for me to want to stay in contact." From somewhere downstairs I heard a sharp growl and then Edward appeared at Bella's side, Carlisle shortly behind him.

"Stop it, Sarelle," Edward hissed and I snapped my glare to him in an instant. How dare he reprimand me in my own home?

"No, Edward, she deserves to know."

"Sarelle." Edward warned with a gravelly growl which I returned with my own. I heard a faint high pitched whimper from Bella's direction and I followed it with my eyes to see her face set in a stone version of sorrow.

"Do you know how it feels to lose your family, Isabella? Not give them up but to have them ripped from you? Time and time again?"

Bella just glared through the miserable set of her mouth. I was too deep into fury to cease my assault. For once I had found a vent for the feelings I had garnered towards Bella. For all the years I had felt I couldn't blame her for anything. I had finally found a way to show the anger I felt and it felt wonderful pulsing through my veins.

"I do. I know that feeling well. I lost my birth parents when I was nine. I've been torn away from friends and people I thought of as family so many times that I almost craved my end. Turns out I _murdered_ my own parents when I was first changed. I woke up and raced to suck them dry without a second to control myself."

I ignored the gasps that sounded from the two families that had gathered.

"But you, _you. _You walked away from yours. You've got a brother out there who's struggling with the fact that his father, Phil, can barely remember his name. You've got nieces who have the sweetest smiles you could ever imagine. But you just threw all that away."

"But."

"Be quiet." I hissed. "I don't want to hear your _justification_ because it is worthless. You gave them up, tossed them aside. You hurt them, Isabella."

"Sarelle, that's enough," Edward said lowly as he stepped between me and Bella.

"Do you know what your half brother said to me, Isabella?" I asked over Edward's shoulder. "He said he had a half sister but he preferred to think of himself as an only child. He resented you for just discarding them. Do you still think you made the right choice?"

There was silence, all around me. Just silence.

"_Tell me. _These are the consequences of your actions; do you still think them right?"

"I don't know," Bella said through gritted teeth.

"That's what I thought," I said with distain before looking at Edward's heated eyes and taking the time to look around me at the expressions of the family. "Now if you'll excuse me. I'm going for a run," I said calmly before casting a finally glance at Bella and leaving out the door.

The anger was ebbing away and with it came the mortification of what I had done. She needed to know, in my eyes she did, but I still regretted the way I'd acted. I'd let myself go for no reason at all other than that feeling inside that told me Bella was the enemy. She was the reason I felt all this anger, why I was this way. It was irrational but as I sat myself down on a boulder I felt my veins sizzle just at the sight of her in my mind.

I growled and pounded my fist into the rock below, creating a puff of dust to rise around my hand and an indentation to form in the stone.

"Sarelle?" I snapped my head to Carlisle and saw him coming towards me with careful movements.

"I'm not going to attack you, Carlisle." I chuckled half-heartedly before dropping my head into my palms and running my nails over my scalp.

"I'm sure, but I didn't wish to startle you. I heard your jumps can be triggered by extreme emotion," he explained as he lowered himself onto one of the rocks beside me.

"I'm in control. I'm fine." I looked up to see him watching me. "I promise."

He nodded and looked out to the forest while I strained to find some part of him that showed that the past years had changed something. Something to show that I hadn't just jumped back in time to the same old me I used to be. The same angry old me that felt so out of control of her emotions and future.

Carlisle's eyes met mine and I saw that wonderful compassion there as always. "Is it true about your parents?" he asked quietly and I ran my hand over my locket briefly, feeling the two rings clink against each other.

"Yes, but it was years ago now." I thought over the countless times I'd visited the meadow with the cross carved in the old oak and planted one more pretty purple flower in their memory.

"I'm sorry."

"It's no one's fault. Not really."

"But it has clearly affected you." I stayed silent because the shame of what I had done made me hold my tongue. I had always known my parent's death had affected me, that my human life had left its mark but I didn't realise just how much.

"I can understand why you said those things to Bella. With your past and the trials you have suffered, it seems only right that you would have those kinds of feelings towards her choice."

"I just feel so angry," I forced out in a strained voice as I clenched my fists together. "I never used to be this way," I whispered as I felt the same empty feeling stinging my eyes. The feeling that should have been accompanied with tears but wasn't anymore.

A sob slipped through and I curled into Carlisle's arms when he wrapped them around me. My past had always been something separate to my current self. I'd left it behind, to a point, when I left that cliff after running from the meadow. That point was the end of the circle my human life had been. I thought that meant I could just leave it behind, but reading my diary and seeing my belongings today had just proven that the past could never be left behind.

"My poor girl, what happened to you?" Carlisle murmured as I shook in his care. I stayed that way for a timeless while, listening to his comforting words and feeling my sense of self return to me with ever pass his hand made over my hair. For a brief moment before I straightened out of his arms I felt as if time had rewound, and I was back to being that tiny nine year old self sitting awkwardly on a wooden stool in Mr Cullen's home.

"How long have you been a vampire, Sarelle?" Carlisle asked carefully as I sat quietly regaining my composure.

"I'm not sure exactly. When I was young I jumped a lot and I didn't know how to control it, so I relived some years over and over in different places. Lord knows how many times I lived the year 1901." I laughed weakly. "I know for certain that I'm at least one hundred and thirty-seven years old. While at maximum I could be nearing one hundred and seventy." I shrugged and stared at the pebble I was rolling between my fingers.

"You said you didn't know how to control it, has that changed now?"

"To an extent. As you seem to have heard, I jump if I get too angry, scared, or panicked. I think it's some kind of self preservation thing, but I can control it as well." I threw the pebble into the distance and focussed my mind on the spot where it landed.

The rush filled my body and in a flash I was a hundred metres away from Carlisle, the pebble coming towards me. I caught it easily before focussing again and jumping back to Carlisle's side.

He jumped from the rock and stared in wonder as I offered the pebble out to him, smiling slightly.

"You can jump that precisely?" He asked in amazement as he took the pebble from me and examined it. Meanwhile I nodded and closed my eyes to massage them gently with my thumbs. They always stung a little after jumping.

"If I know a place and a timeframe I can jump to it, usually," I said slowly opening my eyes and taking a short moment to allow them to settle, blinking twice to get rid of the gritty feeling that occurred temporarily when another fragment appeared.

"Do you have a time limit?" Carlisle asked as he studied my eyes.

"Not that I know of, although I prefer to remain in the past rather than jumping to the future."

"That's a sensible restriction to place upon yourself," Carlisle concurred before he paused and cast me an unsure eye. "Why did you never try to change the way things happened? If you don't mind me asking."

"I'll never mind any of your questions, Carlisle." I smiled before I prepared myself to answer. I shifted on the rock and tucked my legs up to my chest. "I won't lie and say I never tried, but after a few failed attempts I learnt it was a rule that came with my gift."

Carlisle's brow furrowed so I continued. "I had already lived through certain years and I knew certain things. For example I knew many of you hadn't seen me since Belmore up until the wedding so there went fifty years in which, no matter how hard I tried, you could never see me. It had already happened and I knew that it had already happened because I had experienced it myself when I was human. I couldn't change my own past. It was already determined. There were times when I tried to force it but in those events I jumped when I got too close."

"I can't imagine the frustration."

I chuckled. "Yeah, Aslo had a lot to contend with at times."

"Aslo? Would that be Aslo Finn from your time in the asylum?" Carlisle asked with astonishment. I grinned and bit my lip as I nodded.

"He never died. I jumped and brought him with me."

"Alice's sire is alive?"

"Pushing 592 years old and still alive and kicking." I snickered while Carlisle clapped his hands together in surprise. "This is unbelievable so much has changed in such a short space of time."

"I know, it's been a lot to adjust to."

"I'm sure," he said as his eyes levelled with mine and I saw a deeper understanding than I ever expected to see there. As if he could see clearly my inner feelings concerning Edward's sudden presence in my life.

I flashed a small smile and ran my hand through my hair as I made to stand.

"I guess we should get back. I can't hide out here anymore and I should probably apologise to Bella, right?"

"I would give that a little time before you do."

"Sure. I am sorry, truly. My past is my personal issue, and I shouldn't use it to judge others. Even if I don't agree with their decision. I bet Edward is pissed." Carlisle raised a brow at me and I laughed as I shrugged.

"What? It's 2047, Carlisle, you've got to move with the times."

"Well in that case. Yes, Edward is pissed." Carlisle grinned, and I laughed as we set off to run home.

**Thanks for reading. Previews available as always. x**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

_Thank you for the reviews! Here's the next chapter._

_x_

The week passed quietly after my outburst at Bella. The apology I had delivered seemed to fall on deaf ears but I couldn't find it in me to really worry about how she was coping with the information she'd learnt. To me her decision was based purely on the selfish wish to be a vampire, to be with Edward and the Cullens. There was no reason why she couldn't have involved Renee in her life just as she had allowed Charlie.

The other Cullens had visited a couple of days ago, but as I expected Bella, Renesmee, Jacob and Edward stayed away.

I ran my fingertips lightly over the piano keys as I experimented with the tempo of the song I was playing. It was nice to have this room separate from the rest of the house, it gave me somewhere to practice and escape for a little while.

I closed my eyes as I remembered the times I had played for Aslo. It was always at twilight, when he would lie across the sofa and close his eyes, just listening. He said it calmed him, just as much as it relaxed me.

I sighed as I soaked up the notes, feeling the vibrations of the instrument as it produced each tone, ignoring the footsteps and heartbeat walking around the lower level of the house, chatting away with Rosalie. The hybrid seemed to enjoy the Denali's company.

"What're you playing?" Renesmee asked abruptly as she burst through the closed door.

"Tschaikovsky," I replied as I looked up to greet her, continuing the flow of my fingers against the ivory. "And for future reference it's impolite to charge into a room without knocking." I smiled slightly although I couldn't help feeling a little annoyed that she had just interrupted so casually.

"Sorry, I didn't realise it was such a problem. I never usually knock at home," she mused as she picked up the few ancient ornaments that sat on the shelves on the wall opposite to the piano.

"Yes, I can imagine you wouldn't need to," I murmured to myself as I stopped playing and turned on the piano bench, watching as she walked over to the next wall to look at the pictures hanging there. "May I ask you something?"

"Sure." She asked in a knowing voice, she had clearly had a lot of people ask her a similar thing.

"Do you spend much time with people other than your family and family friends?" I listened to Rosalie and Kate talking upstairs.

"I know people at school," Renesmee said with a shrug as she briefly turned to look at me.

"Oh, you've never mentioned them, and since I hadn't seen them around..."

"No, well, I don't really see them _outside_ of school, but I talk to them."

"So you've never been taught to interact with humans? Or fend for yourself?" I tilted my head as I watched the young hybrid lose her interest in the native American carving and look at me.

"Why would I need to, I've got my family. Plus I've already been told plenty about living with humans. My mother was one before, you know." She smiled as she spoke with a slight condescending tone and I couldn't help but laugh in faint disbelief.

"We were all human once."

She chuckled softly, her bronze curls bouncing as her head shook lightly. "I know that. What I meant was that Dad was with mom when she was human, so I think I've got a pretty good idea of what it's like."

"You do realise there are plenty of vampire's who date humans." I leant against the closed cover on the piano as I watched her reaction.

"Course, but Mom and Dad made it work. It's unique, special." She smiled brightly.

"Not as special as you might think."

"Mom always says it is, that I am. There's only four hybrids in the world, you know." Her head tilted upwards proudly as she recited her credentials.

"So your mother tells you you're special. In what sense." I asked as I rose from the piano bench and walked around the room casually as I talked. "You have a power, but then again so do many vampires," I said as I righted one of the ornaments she'd carelessly left out of place. "You're a hybrid but that only makes you special because others have been unfortunate. What makes you, as a person, special?" I looked to see her sitting in the arm chair to my left with a frown on her pretty face.

"Well I..."

"Have you ever left your family, the country?" I wondered out loud as I skimmed over the small bookcase, looking at the different languages they showed.

"No, why would I want to?" I leant against the bookshelf, growing more and more irritated with child. The girl had this annoying sense of superiority that was extremely unattractive.

"For the experience, the independence, to see the world." I snorted as I pushed myself off the bookshelf. "Can you play an instrument?"

"Daddy taught me piano." She sniffed with a snooty air and I looked towards the piano standing in the centre of the room.

"I'd love to hear you play sometime," I said with an encouraging smile which faltered when she looked down at her hands and fiddled with the edge of her top.

"Well, he taught me but I don't really play anymore." She tossed her curls over her shoulder before she continued. "I'm just busy, you know, with Jacob, and everything. But I'm sure it can't be that hard, I'm half vampire, right."

"Yes, of course. Do you speak any languages?"

"English, obviously." The teen raised a copper eyebrow.

I smiled sweetly. "Of course, why else would you need to know a different language. Other than the idea of being cultured, understanding others, indulging in the history of the language."

"Well I don't need to do any of that yet. I'll just learn when I have to."

"Wow, your mother was right, you are special. I don't think I've ever met someone such as you. So ignorant of everything, such a lazy attitude to life." I huffed in exasperation, turning away in disbelief. How could anyone be so happy to be so ignorant?

"Hey!" The teen sounded like she was on the verge of tears.

I ran my hand through my hair and sighed as I turned back to face her. "I apologise for being mean but you need a bit of honesty."

"What do you mean?" I looked at Renesmee, the teenager looked more like a little girl at the moment. Her brown eyes were watery as she wiped her nose. The shame and embarrassment was obvious. For all the things she'd done to irritate me since entering the room, I felt sorry for her.

_She's probably had nothing but praise her entire life._

"You could be so much more than just a hybrid. There's so much out there to learn about and it's almost shameful that your parents haven't offered up that opportunity. Edward...I mean, your father has the most vibrant curiosity for everything. He knows so much about the world because he saw what it had to offer and he took it, embraced it. Isn't that something you want to do?" I asked softly as I ducked to sit on the arm of the chair.

"Well, yeah...but."

"No buts. You either seize an opportunity with both hands or let it slip away. Just because you're immortal does not mean you have time to waste." My father's quote ran through my mind and I smiled despite myself.

Renesmee nodded as she sniffled, wiping her eyes to reveal them to seem more open than I had ever seen them. It was as if the clouds had finally cleared and she was seeing what was truly on offer to her. "I've always wanted to learn French," she said quietly as she looked up at me.

"What's stopping you?"

"Oncle Emmett se mit à rire très fort alors il a brisé la vitre. Esme a été dévastée" (_Uncle Emmett once laughed so loud that he broken the windows. Esme was devastated)_

I laughed as Ren grinned at me from across the Cullen's kitchen table. It had been two weeks since we first talked in the piano room back home, but she had progressed just as quickly as I had expected. It's fair to say I outright refused to call her Nessie, so instead we found an alternative.

"I've heard you speaking Spanish with Carmen before, are there any other languages you can speak?" Ren asked as she took a sip of blood and then tucked into the salad Esme had prepared for her.

"A few." I smiled as I thought of the fourteen dialects at my disposal. When you didn't go to school or have much to keep your days full you tended to go overboard.

"Say something to me in your favourite."

"My favourite...I don't really have a favourite, but I can say something in a language I use often." I looked at the teen in front of me and thought of what I wanted to say to her. "Vy jste mě překvapilo, Ren. Nacházíte se změnily a že je pro mě velmi hrdí." (_You've surprised me, Ren. You have changed and that makes me proud_)

I watched as she focussed to take the words in but still ended up with a faint crease on her forehead as she frowned with confusion.

"What was that?"

"Czech," I replied simply as I tried to ignored the way she took another slurp of the blood in the steel cup.

"Can I ask you something, Sarelle?" I nodded as Ren placed her cutlery down on the table and folded her hands in front of her.

"What was my grandmother Renee like?" she peeked up through her bronze eyelashes and I looked away as I tried to gauge if I was the right person to tell her about Renee. I could hear the silence coming from the other Cullens in the house and took that as my green card to talk.

"Hasn't your mother told you about her?"

"Sure, a little. She said she was very adventurous, but a bit of a scatter-brain. Apparently she called mom her mini adult because she was always the responsible one." The teen shrugged and I felt a pang of sadness. Renee had been a mother and a good one at that and yet she was only remembered as a scatterbrain who had ideas too big for reality.

"She was all those things, but she was also so much more. Your grandmother was one of my closest friends. When I was down she picked me up again. She had this amazingly perceptive mind. She could see things that no one else would notice, but your mother was right, she was a scatterbrain. Her mind would move so fast that it seemed like she couldn't keep up. And her imagination was limitless." I gushed as I thought of my old friend.

"And she had a son, my uncle. Dylan," Rene confirmed and I nodded.

"You would have liked him, I'm sure of it. He's a lot like Emmett really—language worse than a sailor but a heart pure as gold."

"It's strange thinking I've got relatives I don't even know about."

"Did you mother never even think to look for Renée? Just to see how she was?"

Ren shook her head, rubbing a finger across her perfectly shaped eyebrow. "I think she was just worried about the Volturi. We had to leave Grandpa Charlie after a few years, to be careful."

We were silent for a while and in that time I noticed Bella standing at the doorway, her face settled on her daughter before she glanced at me and left. She didn't look happy but there was some resolution there, some peace.

"Will you tell me more about the Aloja? That Catalan water spirit," Ren urged.

I looked at Ren as I told her about the myths and legends surrounding the creature, the way her eyes went bright and calculating as she absorbed every word. She was so much like her father, her curiosity and interest in the world. It was just a shame she hadn't had her thirst for knowledge truly quenched until now.

By the time I left the Cullen house I had told Ren of the few legendary creatures that I had encountered and had learnt shared our supernatural world with us. It was shocking that Carlisle had never told her of the other creatures that roamed the earth other than the Children of the Moon and the Shapeshifters. There was so much out there and she knew so little about it all.

When I returned home I met Garrett in the lounge.

"Hey there, Tinkerbelle. How's Nessie recovering from her dress down." He teased as he turned towards me from the TV.

"I was a bit harsh, wasn't I." I bit my lip as I joined him on the sofa.

"Maybe, but I'm sure it can only do good. What with the whole Volturi thing years back I doubt Bella and Edward have given the girl much encouragement to spread her wings."

"What Volturi thing?" I thought as I turned to him with urgent eyes. The Denalis knew of my situation so I was surprised none of them had mentioned that the Cullens had their own history with the Volturi.

"The Cullens haven't told you?" Garrett said with curiosity. "I'm surprised, you seemed to be a part of family to them."

"Well I guess I haven't been very aware of much recently." I sighed as I ran my hand through my hair. I'd been so scattered lately, it was no surprise that I'd missed glaring pieces of information.

"Well obviously Renesmee is a pretty rare thing, the whole vampire/ human offspring thing. Anyway the Volturi didn't much like the idea of it so they came to attack, only we were ready. It was touch and go for a while but in the end they scarpered and everyone walked free. However, I'm willing to bet that the Cullens still have little Nessie's rein pretty tight because you know the Volturi." Garrett raised his eyebrow at me, a knowing light in his amber eyes.

"Right, they could strike at any time," I said with worry. They could check on Renesmee at any time, and if I was anywhere near, or Aro caught an inkling of my existence in their memories then I would be done for. I didn't even want to think what would happen to the others.

The French doors opened from the back garden and Kate breezed in. She jumped over the back of the sofa into Garrett's waiting arms, her pale blonde hair fanning out around her. "You telling the old war stories again?" she said grinning.

"It was a proud moment in my life, seeing the backs of those Volturi scum."

"I love it when you get all empowered," she purred as she ran her hand through Garrett's wild dirty blond locks.

"You know why else it's one of the greatest days of my life?" he smiled down at Kate, his eyes studying her as she gleamed up at him.

"Because that's when I realised my forever was destined to be spent with you."

"You soppy man." She sighed and I grinned before I got up to leave them to it, thanking Garrett just before the two of them locked lips and he became too distracted to hear me. It was a wonderful thing to see the couples happy and together, but I understood all too well Tanya's opinion on how it could be a little hard to handle sometimes. Especially when all you can wonder is '_when will it be me?_'

That night I sat against one of the old oak trees and looked out of the cliff edge that rose to loom over the lake, forest, and little village below. As the silent breeze whisked the clouds away to reveal the stars I smiled down at the little twinkling lights of Colter Bay on the other side of the lake. I loved it up here, the small little clearing that offered a near endless view of the world around. I had found it not long after arriving to live with the Denalis. It was a small place to come after I hunted or when I wanted to escape the intimate noises of the couples in the house.

I breathed in the scent of the fresh air as my fingers brushed over the grass below me. I heard the footsteps before I smelt the scent, both of which made me rise quickly and turn to the darkness of the forest.

I watched alertly as Edward stepped out of the dark of the forest and into the silvered pool of the clearing, his eyes looking around him before settling on me with a nervous energy.

"I hope I'm not intruding," he said as he studied me. My mind flying back to a time similar to this.

_A movement swayed the bushes and caught my attention instantly. I watched amazed as Edward stepped out of the shrubs into the shadows surrounding the bright moonlit clearing that my home was situated in._

_His eyes were locked on me. I could see they burned with fiery intensity even from my place metres away from him. It took mere seconds for me to run from my bedroom out to stand opposite him in the clearing._

_The night air was still, but cool, and my fine white nightdress offered me little protection from the temperature as it fluttered around my knees._

_I took steady steps before stopping in the centre of the clearing, I wouldn't get too close. If that had been the reason for him leaving last time, then I would not repeat the same mistake._

_His eyes watched me cautiously, and I stood diligently in the pool of silver moonlight while wisps of my hair danced in a small breeze that circled through the clearing. The silence of the forest no doubt amplified the heavy beats of my heart. I was certain they would be excruciating clear to Edward. I worried that they tormented him, calling to him as if my blood was singing a siren song. I hated to think that my presence taunted the monster he obviously tried so hard to hide._

"No," I blurted as I stood there rigid and unsure of his reason for being here. All the while battling as I forced the memory away from my thoughts. I hadn't talked to him since I had blown up on Bella those few weeks ago. It had been easy to carry on as if he wasn't here as long as I didn't let myself find his scent in the Cullens' home or wonder why he wasn't there.

He ran his hand through his hair and angled his body with an uncertain movement to leave.

"You're not intruding, Edward." I sighed as I turned back to my tree and lowered myself to the ground.

"I was just hunting and..." He stopped and huffed before looking out at the view below. "It's beautiful up here," he said as he sank to the forest floor against a tree nearby.

"It's my little secret." I mused. I could feel his eyes on me but I trained my gaze on the stars above instead. I spotted Cassiopeia and smiled slightly as I remembered how Aslo had told me about the legend revolving around the constellation.

"I wanted to say thank you." Edward jolted me from the memory and I dropped my eyes from the sky.

"For what?"

"What you have done for Nessie. She seems happier somehow." I tried to stop my face from scrunching up at the sound of her favoured name. Did they not know of the Loch Ness monster?

"She just needed to have her eyes opened a little. She's a good girl, Edward, but she needs room to flourish, not this pre-decided life she's living now." I glanced at him and saw how he tensed. He could tense all he wanted but I knew how it felt to live a pre-decided life, he didn't.

"I think I know my own daughter, Sarelle." I smirked at his predictability.

"I'm sure you do, but do you think you're capable of seeing outside the box, seeing what's right for her without your own prejudice?" I looked at him, finally bringing my eyes to his as I spoke.

"Sarelle, I don't want to argue with you, but I don't appreciate being told how to raise my own child," he said as he leapt up onto his feet, pinching the bridge of his nose. "She's mine, flesh and blood." He stressed looking at me as I rose to his level.

"Mmmhmm, but do you know she has no understanding of how to defend herself? That she didn't have a clue about the history of the world, how countries have changed, about their myths and legends that shroud our race? She's living in a bubble and I'm sorry but it's just downright sad."

"How dare you!" Edward growled and he was suddenly right in front of me. I almost flinched, but managed to keep still.

"Don't talk about my daughter like that," he hissed.

"Then don't fill her head with pompous nonsense," I snapped back. "I'm not here to make her feel good about herself. I just told her about things you clearly haven't, and as you said she's happier for it!"

We stood there, face to face, our breathing heaving as each of us glared in anger. He could be so stubborn, so blind to everyone's opinion but his. For a mind reader he was seriously lacking in open-mindedness.

As I stewed I watched as Edward's eyes lost their heat and the tense set of his jaw softened into a faint crooked smirk.

"You still have that temper."

"I never had a temper." I snorted as I crossed my arms across my chest.

"And that stubbornness," he said with that same smirk on his lips and that laughing tone in his voice. It was infuriating.

My mouth opened and closed as I sighed in defeat. He was right. I had always been stubborn, a fault I had sometimes prided myself on.

I felt a smile tug at the corner of my mouth. "I guess," I ran my hand through my hair, dropping my gaze to the edge of the forest. "Look, I apologise for talking out of line. As you said, she's your daughter." I shrugged.

Edward nodded before his head tilted, "but, perhaps it would do her good to learn a little from someone such as you."

I snorted before biting my lip against my embarrassment, closing my eyes as Edward chuckled softly. "What do you mean someone such as me?" I asked as my eyes bore into his. There was so much hidden there. I thought now that I was a vampire I wouldn't be as clueless to the inner workings of his mind, but I was wrong. I just noticed even more than I did before, more signs and signals to confuse me.

"You're a woman, Sarelle, and so much more than you ever were in Belmore." he gushed before his lips pressed into a hard line and his eyebrows frowned in thought as he watched me intensely, as if he was seeing something below my surface. "I can see it in the way you walk, your posture, the things you say. I would be proud if Nessie was even half alike as you."

"You shouldn't flatter what you don't truly know," I whispered. He knew the old me, he knew nothing of this new person I'd become, the things I'd done on my journey to this point in time.

"I know _you_, who you are on the inside." Edward pressed as his hand tenderly squeezed my arm, urging me to look up.

_I wouldn't be so sure..._ I thought as I looked at him sceptically.

"I never stopped thinking about you," he confessed, "You were always on my mind."

I couldn't help but smile. If human, my cheeks would be blazing red.

"I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that you have actually achieved the vegetarian life style."

"It was hard." I nodded, remembering back when Aslo and I lusted constantly for the human blood, "but I knew it had to be done."

"Tell me about it," he said as he sat down onto the branch next to me, awaiting my story.

_24th November 2029_

"_You take the girl. I'll get the two guys," he said as we began to run through the forest. _

"_We can't." I scolded as I shook my head, the scent rambling on in my head. My body began to grow weak as the smell became closer, the voices becoming more clear to hear._

"_This way!" A girl yelled as she giggled, running into the deep forest. I wanted to tell her to go back, take her friends and leave. But getting that close would just cause a frenzy. _

"_I'm not settling for animals, Sarelle. Do you smell that?" He growled under his breath with anticipation, "You want that just as badly as I do!" _

"_Killing innocent people?" I screamed angrily. _

"_It's what we are suppose to do!" Aslo argued, "It's what we live off. It's the reason for our existence." The girl was getting closer, and I could sense the other two people with her, their blood just as sweet. I took in the scent as I could feel my eyes brighten with red like the blood running beneath the humans' bodies. I wanted that blood. I wanted to drink every single drop. What a monster I have become. My instincts were taking over as they got closer. I wanted to run and get away from the smell, but my body wouldn't have it. I stood, waiting for them to run right into their death trap, "That's the spirit." Aslo said with a smirk. He ran to the opposite side of me, hiding behind the tree in wait for the humans. _

"_C'mon! Just a bit farther!" The girl laughed as I could smell her getting closer, her feet running against the ground with the other two behind her. Her body was visible now as she ran through the middle of the forest. Aslo was gone in a flash and it didn't take long for him to silently tackle the two boys that followed the girl, where she still innocently ran through the forest, thinking her friends was still behind her. Aslo dragged his prize off into the darkness, leaving the girl and me to ourselves. I hid behind the tree, my back pressed against it as I felt the burning sensation claw through my throat. I wanted her blood, "Guys?" I heard her question as she stopped, turning around to see the empty forest, "C'mon this isn't funny!" She slowly began to walk in the direction she came from, "Ryan? Josh?" Her voice was now trembling in fear, "Stop hiding! You're scaring me!" She almost cried as she began to look around._

_I couldn't resist any longer. It was like a honey-voice calling out to me. I had to respond to it. I turned my body around, climbing up the tree as I stared down at the innocent girl. Her fingertips were being bitten off from her teeth, her eyes wandering around the whole forest as her breath was a mere mist that came from her lips. I couldn't help but produce a growl, the blood clearly visible under her skin, it pulsing around her veins. I needed it. She quickly turned her body as she took a first glance at my crimson eyes and my ferocious glare. She than turned around, panting as she did as she ran back to where she was going, her heart pounding as the blood pumped through it. I quickly jumped to the next tree as silently as possible, watching the young girl flee for her life. I jumped to the ground, taking this hunt on foot as I began to chase after her. It wasn't hard to catch up to her wimpy run, but I gave her time to at least recollect her thoughts before she died. _

_I leaped forward, my body turning around as I was now in front of her. She instantly stopped, her eyes widening at the sight of the terror that folded in front of her face. She began to run backwards, her scream filling the quiet forest. I leaped forward, pushing her body down, watching as she squirmed on the floor._

"_Why are you doing this?" She cried as she looked up to me, her eyes filled with sorrow. I didn't take any sympathy though, and instead I leaned down, my hand pressing against her neck as I leaned forward, feeling the drop of blood land on my tongue._

"Aslo is still alive?" Edward asked with widened eyes.

"He's been everything to me for a long time, at least before the Denali's. We broke apart a few years ago. He needed time." I bit my lip as I thought of how I missed having him near. It was disconcerting more than anything, he had been such a constant throughout my immortal life that it had been like having the carpet pulled from under me when we separated. Things were better now, but it still felt strange that the only time I could talk to him was by dialling a number.

"Do you still talk? Does he know about Alice?"

"He knows everything about me, Edward, and I him. But that's how it's meant to be with a partnership, isn't it? Anyway we talk on the phone now and then. It's hard but I know it will work out in the end."

"Yes...of course. I'm glad you're happy." Edward tore his eyes away from mine as he murmured his words.

"You too, Edward. Anyway, I'm sure your wife is probably wondering where you are."

Edward looked at me for a moment, his face racing through an array of emotions: pain, regret, confusion. They whirled through his expression like a flicker book, and I watched with a fog building in my mind. When he finally nodded and rose to leave I was left with a feeling of perplexity that left me stunned. I twisted my body in the direction he had left, catching the last traces of his scent before the breeze took it off out over the lake, rustling the leaves to make them whisper around me. They were like the voice within trying to be heard but swallowed up by the mystification of the situation I had been plunged into. Just a few months ago I was living an existence that was easy, simple. Now it just felt like I was staring at a mess of coloured strings, trying to figure out which one to follow.

I breathed deeply, ignoring the sadness that rose in my chest when I didn't catch smell of honey, rosewood, and musk that had been there when Edward sat within the clearing. Instead I was jolted out of the confusion of my thoughts by the vibrations of my phone on my skin.

"Aslo?"

"Are you enjoying the lovely night we've been given?" he said smoothly although I could hear rushing air in the background of the call. He was running.

"I was just remembering the legend of Cassiopeia and when you told me about it."

"Cassiopeia, the goddess condemned for her vanity. I remember that night well. The first night of celebrations after the end of World War Two, yes? In Chicago?" I could hear the smile in his voice and found one of my own spreading across my face as I remembered the way we had watched the fireworks from the rooftops and heard the celebrations below.

"Exactly."

"Now, as lovely as it is to reminisce with you, _Kvetina, _I called for another reason."

"Oh?"

"I'm coming to visit, Sarelle. I'm coming home." I squealed and heard his chuckle echo down the line.

Five years and I would finally get to see him again.

**Thanks for reading. Previews available as always. x**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

_Thank you for the reviews! Here's the next chapter._

_x_

_25th August 2047_

It was a constant tickle in my limbs, a fluttering in my stomach, this happiness and anxious waiting. Aslo was set to arrive tomorrow, just four days since his phone call and I couldn't help but wish time would go faster. I had even considered jumping forward a day just to see him sooner but I knew that it would be foolish. It was my own personal rule: do not jump to the future unless absolutely necessary. It stemmed from the fact that I knew my gift ran on determinism. If I saw something in the future, it was then a certain fact it would happen so I avoided travelling there. I didn't want to see something I would later regret.

I knew the others were curious about Aslo's arrival. I hadn't told them much about him at all, merely that he was a friend I had known for a very long time. I rode out their questions with a smile on my face and a smug enjoyment as they teased in frustration. Garrett was his usual playful self as he pondered out loud whether my guest would be a Peter Pan or Wendy to go with my Tinkerbelle. I could only imagine what Aslo's reaction would be to being referred to as Peter Pan.

In truth, although I was excited about Aslo coming I couldn't deny that his visit was also a relief, a distraction from the churning emotions that filled me. It was the night after Aslo called when I was standing out at the lake edge, looking at how the moonlight glittered of the glassy surface, and I saw Edward standing at the other side. He was far away but I could still see him clearly as he stood in the light, raising his hand to wave across at me. The smile on his face was just visible as I returned his gesture. It was strange to see him so close; it was still something I was still getting used to. I wasn't sure if I ever would to be honest.

As we stood there watching each other I noticed Edward's head turn and soon Bella's figure came into view, her arms going instantly to wrap around his waist as she snuggled into him. I knew she saw me but she didn't offer any sign of recognition. Instead she stretched up on her toes and placed a lingering kiss on Edward's lips, her sigh almost reaching my ears. Or perhaps I just imagined that it did.

It was then that the churning started, the odd combination of confusion, anger, and curiosity. I hadn't come to like Bella anymore than I had when we argued but I couldn't be sure that it was just her presence that caused my annoyance. Was it the kiss they shared? Was it just because it brought up ancient human memories that echoed with the emotions I'd felt during their wedding and the moment they said 'I do'? I didn't understand it so it was a relief to know I didn't have to think about it, I could just focus on Aslo's return.

I snapped out of my reverie and smiled at Alice as she came over from talking with Tanya.

"Are you sure you won't come with us?" she asked.

"Alice, it's a Cullen family hunting trip, and I've got things to handle here." She pouted, and I giggled at the fact she was still using her puppy eyes after all these years.

"Don't look at me like that." I nudged her and turned to Tanya. "Have you heard this, Tanya, Alice is trying to poach me off on their trip."

"You sneaky little pixie. You come over here saying you need to borrow a few things but all the while you're just trying to pinch our Sarelle." Tanya teased as Carlisle chuckled and Jasper kissed Alice's temple.

Meanwhile Edward just watched me from his conversation with Kate, an unexplainable curiosity in his eyes.

"She couldn't go even if she wanted to. That friend of hers is turning up tomorrow," Garrett explained and I saw how Edward's eyes widened infinitesimally.

"We are greatly looking forward to meeting them. Sarelle has been so anxious for their arrival," Eleazar commented as Jasper, Alice, Edward, and Carlisle watched me.

There was a breath of evergreen rush through the house as footsteps crunched on the gravel outside. "Speak of the devil," Carmen murmured as the rest followed my blurred movement to the front door.

_He's early. He's here, and he's a day early._

I swung the door wide and there he was, his bag over his back and his smile beaming at me. I launched myself at him; my legs wrapping around his waist as my arms clung to his neck. I squeezed tightly as he chuckled under me, his own arms holding me close.

I leant back, marvelling at the golden eyes that watched me, the pure shade of them with a strong depth of butterscotch. My kisses rained down on his cheeks before I lowered myself to the ground and looked over him properly. His clothes were dirty but simple. I didn't know where he had ran from but by the state of his shoes and jeans I could only assume it had been somewhere far from here.

His own eyes ran over my form before he pulled me against him tightly, burying his face in my hair, breathing in my scent. "Květina, moje krásná malá květina ,"(_ Flower, my lovely little flower)_ he murmured in the Czech tongue we so often used together.

"Vítejte doma (_welcome home),_" I replied giggling at the amazement that he was really here with me.

"Nikde bych byl raději (_ There's nowhere I'd rather be),_"

A throat cleared and with a bright grin I spun to face everyone, leading Aslo behind me with a strong hold. "Everyone this is my dear friend, Aslo Finn."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Aslo," Tanya greeted warmly, casting a quick impressed look at me. "And this is the rest of our family, Kate and Garrett." She indicated the two of them as they smiled and shook his hand. "And Eleazar and Carmen." Carmen came forward and placed a kiss on either of his cheeks while Eleazar offered him his hand with his usual air of strength.

"And these are—" I started as I moved to introduced Carlisle.

"Carlisle Cullen." Aslo smiled warmly stepping forward to take Carlisle's hand in his. "I met you once in Volterra. You had such vision for our race."

"You are too kind, I always wondered if the man Sarelle mentioned was the same I had met," Carlisle replied kindly before moving to show off his family. "This is my family, Jasper, Alice, and Edward."

"Of course." Aslo reached forward to greet Jasper with a firm hand shake, not showing a single stutter as he held Alice's hands in his and smiled peacefully at her. He rose his eyebrow when he came to Edward but I gently touched his hand and that was the only confirmation he needed to put forth his hand and have Edward shake it sternly.

"Is the rest of your family not here? Rosalie, Emmett, Esme, and of course the newly changed Bella. Sarelle has told me so much about you all," Aslo asked genially and I felt my chest grow with pride as he recited their names perfectly.

"Unfortunately no, we are planning a hunting trip so they are at home preparing to leave," Carlisle explained and Aslo nodded.

"Perhaps another time, although I am truly gratefully for being given the chance to meet you all." His eyes settled on Alice and I saw her face grow with wonder.

"Especially you, Mary Alice Brandon," he murmured causing Alice's smile to light up the room. She looked at Jasper and I saw his minute nod before she left his arms and moved to Aslo with an almost reverent grace.

"It's great to finally meet you," she said in her bubbly tone. It was strange to think this was more than just a meeting of two of my dear friends. It was instead the discovery and reunion of two people bound by venom and creation. He was her sire and as I saw them together I could see how that bond manifested itself. It was indescribable, as if they already knew each other so well and had an innate comfort between them. But what surprised me most was that Aslo didn't look at her as if she were a question answered, not the way I had expected him to.

As I moved towards his things I made a point to ask him about his thoughts on her later.

"You never mentioned to anyone that he was visiting," Edward said sternly at my side, and I turned to see him looking at Aslo with a mildly disgruntled expression.

"I wanted it to be a surprise. Especially for Alice."

"Is he staying long?" His voice had a bitter edge to it, and I tilted my head at the perplexity of it.

"Yes," I replied shortly, frowning a little at Edward before looking around the group, everyone's attention on Aslo and his arrival, all except Jasper who watched me and Edward with a quiet expression.

"If I don't see you before you leave, have fun on your trip," I picked up Aslo's bag and left the small crowd to take his things upstairs, depositing it on the floor in my room for the time being. It was a short term solution although it wasn't likely to cause many problems. It wasn't like either of us slept.

As I handled the leather bag I could almost smell each of our jumps coming off the fabrics inside, our history imprinted on the clothes he'd worn. There were other smells there too, but I couldn't use any of them to decipher where he'd been the past five years. I wasn't truly bothered. He was here now and that was all that mattered.

When I thought back over the jumps, I remembered just how much he'd endured with me. The jumps affected him worse than me, draining his energy or heightening his emotions. Either way he was always left with the raging thirst to contend with once we settled. Sometimes it would take a few minutes to build, others it would be ruling his body from the moment we solidified. The only certainty was that it always came and when it did he battled with it to maintain the man rather than becoming the monster below.

As the front door closed below I felt Aslo coming in the room behind me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and pulling me towards him. My head just naturally leant against him, trained by the years we'd spent together and the thousands of times he'd held me in the same way.

"You didn't have to do that," he murmured.

"When will your old fashioned ways fade? Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean it's wrong for me to carry a suitcase." I chuckled as I smacked him playfully on the chest.

He held his hands up in mock surrender as his eyes glimmered. "Oh do please forgive me my sexist tendencies, but what I really meant was that you didn't have to leave me to talk with Alice."

"I know." I shrugged. "But it just felt right...Are you okay, being so close to her?"

"Surprisingly, yes. It's given me some perspective. I loved her, but not as a man truly loves a woman. I suppose I see her more as a daughter than anything else."

"I'm glad, I wouldn't want for you to hurt."

"And I you," he replied as he moved to look my in the eyes. "Are _you _okay with being so close to Edward?"

"I will be now." I snuggled into the crook of his shoulder, feeling his grip tightening around me and his head resting on the top of mine.

"I'll never leave you again. I promise. I'll be here forever if you want it."

I winced as always, I'd been promised forever so many times. It wasn't what I wanted to hear anymore.

"Don't promise me forever, Aslo, just promise me tomorrow," I whispered.

Aslo kissed the top of my head and we stood there for a while, comfortable and content. "Always asking for tomorrow," Aslo murmured with smile. I pulled away, looking at his golden eyes with pride. He'd finally succeeded. After all the ways he'd struggled.

_4th March 2030, Appalachia._

_I ran into the forest, over the railing and past the many trees that surrounded are secret hide away. It wasn't long till I found the body laying helplessly on the ground, Aslo's body hovering over it. I growled at him, giving him a heads up but he didn't move. I tried to ignore the smell, but it was eating at my very existence. I had to stay strong though. The victim was an old man, dressed in plaid with a walking cane in his hand. _

"_Aslo!" I snarled deeply, giving him another warning. Nothing. He sat there and continued with his feast. I had no choice. I leaped forward, detaching him from the human's body listening as he growled and clawed at me furiously. We began to fight, his arms around my neck as he tried to dislodge my head from my body, my feet pressing against his chest as I did a back flip from his body. He stood up quickly and began running towards me, and I used my gift to place myself behind him, hauling him up and over me to land somewhere in the bushes behind. _

_His body quickly snapped back up as he ran off into the other direction. I would have gone after him, but I had to see the damage he caused. I looked to the old man who was lifeless on the floor, his eyes looking to the sky but they were glazed over with death. He was long gone from alive. _

_I had to clean the mess up, which only meant one thing and that was to burn the body. It didn't take me long to concoct a fire near the house with the old wood lying around. I threw the old man's body into the fire with my breathing cut off. After an hour in the inferno, his body was merely ashes and it was time for me to find Aslo. _

_I ran off into the woods, following the scent of him, and the stained blood on his shirt. He wasn't far, and his eyes were back to the ruby colour we had struggled so hard to be rid of. As I found him near the mountains, sitting against a pine tree, I noted the same defeated hang of his head that always came with a slip. He looked to me with agonizing eyes and I couldn't help but be sympathetic._

"_I didn't want to." He blurted as he shook his head._

_I kneeled in front of him, nodding my head as my hands ran around him protectively, "I know." I shushed him quietly, running my hands through his thick, mahogany waves. He was shaking uncontrollably, and the only thing to do was to protect him from this, to hold the defeated man and then never speak of how small and fragile he looks in those moments._

"_I really tried Sarelle. But he was hiking… And he fell and was bleeding… I just couldn't control it…" He shook his head as if he was angry at himself which I knew he would be. To him this was a test, a challenge of his self control and willpower. He was a strong, independent, man so to him a failure was the worst of the worst._

"_No need to apologise. It's all part of the process." I tried to comfort him once again, and was glad to see that his shaking had slowed down, "One day we'll be strong again… And we'll be able to withstand the smell…" I used encouraging words, just to help him through._

_He shuddered at the thought as he shook his head, "This is what we are. Why are you trying to change it?" He asked. _

_I didn't answer him. I had once explained to him that this was our one way to truly connect with the humanity in us, but what I had never revealed was that this was the one way I could connect to the Cullens, be a part of them, follow in their footsteps, wherever they may be._

**Thanks for reading. Previews available as always. x**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

_Thank you for the reviews! Here's the next chapter._

_x_

_8th September 2047_

Time flew over the two weeks that followed. The Cullens rarely visited, perhaps a polite way of stepping aside and allowing me the time to adjust to Aslo's presence. Or perhaps they sensed that I had only so much space in this endless mind to deal with attention. I wasn't ashamed to say that much of that attention was given to Aslo. The five years that had spanned our parting had left a lot to be regaled. We had spent endless moments talking about the people we had met, the struggles we had endured, and the triumphs we had thrived on. It was hard listening to his account, much harder than telling my own, because he hadn't found support as I had with the Denalis. He'd been alone for so long and I knew, although he was used to it, he didn't much enjoy his own company.

Now as the sun started to rise, and I sorted through my clothing of the day while Aslo lay stretched out amongst our memories, I listened as he talked.

"I haven't looked at these in so long," Aslo commented as he casually sifted through the photos we had gathered together.

"I thought you would have left them behind somewhere. I didn't think you would still have them," I replied as I folded my chosen outfit on the dresser top and walked to join Aslo cross-legged on the bed.

"Why would I get rid of them?" Aslo frowned as he looked at me, a shaft of early sunlight grazing his cheek to reveal tinkling sparkles.

"You were always such a grouch whenever I made you pose for them." I smirked as I looked down on the pictures that documented our lives together. There weren't many. My erratic jumps had left many behind, lost in time and place. Plus I was sure his lifestyle hadn't been kind to flimsy pieces of paper. Even discounting those losses there were enough. Especially with the few I owned included in the pile.

"I never understood your obsession with photographs but I can comprehend it now. A picture can be so different from a memory." He smiled over the collection, from the sepia tones of the early years to the vivid colours of the modern prints. "I'm glad you still have a copy of this one. I lost mine," he said wistfully as he looked down on the picture of us together in the 1940s. His cigar was held regally in his fingers and his posture was the epitome of a slick city gentleman, dressed in a charcoal grey suit and a sternly set expression. I on the other hand stood beside him, my hair pinned under a hat and a beautiful beige coat that swamped my figure while my face split into a grin.

"Lord, that just sums up the 40s. You and that ghastly cigar." I laughed as I scanned over Aslo's almost superior expression in the photo.

"What ghastly cigar? That was a luxury, a show of class," he drawled.

"You smoked like a chimney!"

"It was what was done in those times, and it's not like I was going to die from it." Aslo smirked as he placed the photo back in the pile.

"But it smelt so horrid, and my poor dresses stank of stale smoke for days after." I could remember the acrid smell perfectly. I could also remember the number of times I'd sent one of his precious boxes of cigars sailing out the apartment window in an attempt to stop him.

"Better than the sixties. Remember, little Miss St. Clair, when you danced around in those dreadful caftan things with daisies in your hair and a smell of pot drifting about you." He teased as he held up a photo for proof. The atmosphere was all hazy with smoke but visible through it was with my hair long and flowing and my face lit up by sunset. Everyone was too stoned at that party to ever realise the way my face glimmered.

"It was the sixties, Aslo, simple as," I said in a matter of fact tone with a grin on my face.

"Well I much prefer this non-smoking age of society, although nothing quite compares to the fresh air of the early 1600s." He sighed as he slowly reclined on the bed, not a single creak of the springs being heard.

"The 1600s. Why Aslo, I would never have guessed you were such an old timer." Tanya cooed as she lounged against the door frame. She had the same little glimmer in her eye that had first appeared when Aslo arrived. Not that Aslo seemed to notice her admiring glances and alluring looks. Although that's not to say he didn't notice her flirtatious words. It would be hard not to.

"Old timer to some, but toy boy to others. A concept you're not adverse to if I am correct, Tanya." He teased and I stifled a grin at Tanya's girlish giggle.

"A thousand years of living, a girl's got to have a little fun." They exchanged a smirk before Tanya seemed to notice me in the room and gain a little composure. "Talking of fun, the Cullens have invited us to join them for a game of baseball. And you two are coming." With that she spun and left, her hair fanning in the air gently and leaving a delicate cloud of her scent behind.

"She doesn't often accept no for an answer, does she," Aslo mused.

"Nope. Never."

* * *

"Must I attend?" Aslo groaned as he walked through the fields at a human pace.

"Remember earlier, Tanya doesn't really understand the meaning of no. Plus it might fun for you to get to know them better, learn a little about living amongst humans. They've been doing it for over a hundreds of years, after all." I shot back to him.

"We've managed just fine without copying others," Aslo droned, "and I don't see how playing a common game of baseball will suddenly enlighten us to a new path," he drawled as he slipped his arm around my shoulders and walked with a casual pace. I bit my tongue against the rebuttal in my throat. We hadn't managed fine, we'd struggled. A lot. We were only fine now because we'd torn ourselves apart in desperation and bitterness.

As we approached I could clearly hear Emmett's grunts and the swooshing of the ball through the air.

"They're here." Edward's voice was clear, and filled with excitement.

Aslo and I appeared from the shadows of the pitch-black forest, entering into an old deserted baseball stadium that looked to be a hundred years old. There were multiple stands on each side of the stadiums, all looking as if you took one step on them they would completely collapse, the board that showed the score was covered in dust and leaves, tree's hanging above it. The grass was the colour of brown, and crunched under my feet.

"Sarelle!" The familiar voice called out. It was Esme, her smile bright and cheerful as if I was her own daughter. It was strange that as I walked towards her, and really thought about it, she once had been like a mother to me. I wondered if that ever really changed.

I left Aslo's hold and rushed to meet her, smiling as her arms wrapped me up in a hug so much like the ones I used to love when I was a fifteen year old girl in Belmore.

"It seems like ages since I last saw you." I said as I pulled back.

"Far too long." She smiled, pulling away to push my hair back. I looked over her shoulder and at Carlisle.

"Sarelle," he said, nodding his head as he came to place an arm around me in welcome. I smiled brightly, leaning into his chest before we parted.

"Carlisle, I hope you don't mind having a baseball novice tagging along," I commented.

"We'll go easy on you," Emmett called and Carlisle chuckled as he looked behind me. I looked back at Aslo who stood silently at my side, "Carlisle, you've met Aslo,"

"Of course, nice to see you again." Carlisle held out his hand to him, and Aslo shook it gladly, replying with his own welcoming greeting. I could tell that even though Aslo was older than Carlisle he respected him, just as he had all those years ago when they had first met in Volterra.

"And Aslo, this is Esme." Carlisle introduced her with a proud smile.

She beamed as Aslo took her hands in his. "I've heard such wonderful things about you, Esme."

"C'mon guys!" Emmett growled from across the field, "Let's play!"

I smiled, looking back at Aslo who to a stranger would seem the picture of ease but I could tell he was calculating, deciphering the situation. He was analyzing every bit of this scene. Jasper and Alice and Rosalie all stood near the bleachers, watching as Emmett made a complete fool of himself on the field. My eyes glanced over at Edward who leaned against the old cut up fence, his eyes right on Aslo. I could feel his jealousy boiling inside of him. The thought of it made me smirk. It was almost as if he was a brooding child, annoyed someone else had the all the attention. Or at least that was what came to mind when I saw his stare on Aslo. My eyes then looked over to the corner of the field where I saw Ren with Jacob Black. The look of it completely baffled me, and I couldn't help but stare.

"Sarelle!" Emmett called out to me, his smirk bright as he waved at me to come closer. Aslo growled under his breath as his eyes met Jacob's, his body moving in front of mine as if he was going to protect me.

"Stop. It's fine" I scolded him, pressing my hand against his chest, "He's part of their family." Edward wouldn't have let him anywhere near his daughter if he wasn't. Although I still didn't understand what could have happened for the Cullens to allow such a thing, especially with one they found as precious as Ren.

"A wolf?" Aslo hissed, shaking his head, "With a Vampire?" Aslo said, and Edward snarled from the corner, Aslo's eyes right on him as a warning.

I rolled my eyes, smiling at the competition Edward was building up between him and Aslo. There was one person missing from this whole scene, and that was Bella. I didn't put much thought in it though as I ran up beside Emmett.

"You and I are team Captains." Emmett cheered excitingly.

"I'll pick first," Emmett said, immediately looking over at Edward, "My main man!" He bellowed, Edward now in front of us as they punched knuckles. I scoffed under my breath, my eyes instantly over at Alice who stood perfectly in a ballerina like state.

"Alice." I smirked devilishly.

"Rosalie." Emmett called.

"Jasper."

"Jacob."

"Aslo." I called, nudging my head to hail him over. I watched as Edward tensed up behind Emmett.

"Carlisle."

"Ren." I smiled as she skipped over and nodded quietly as she lined up behind me.

"Kate." She blew a kiss as she passed onto Emmett's team.

"Garrett." I smirked as Emmett's face dropped. "Right you are, Tinkerbelle." Garrett enthused as he high fived me and joined the others. At least with Garrett on my team we had a bit of extra muscle.

"Eleazar." Emmett recovered and I searched for my next player.

"Me and Carmen are going to sit this one out, alright." Tanya called over, her eyes running over Aslo before settling on me with a grin.

"But then we're down one player," I replied but Tanya just chuckled, indicating her freshly painted nails.

"I will be the referee," Esme said delightfully as she stood to the side. Alice, Jasper, Aslo, and, Garrett and Rene all stood behind me. Alice smirking by my side.

"We are going to _crush_ your team." Emmett joked, his large shoulders squaring as he glared at me.

"We'll see about that." I smiled impishly, and just as I turned I looked at Edward, winking right before my body was completely turned towards my team.

"We'll field? Give you a chance to warm up." Emmett chuckled as he threw up his hands. I quickly shook my head, biting down onto my bottom lip. I watched as he made to throw the ball up in the air, playing with it as he talked.

"We'll field..." I concentrated hard on where Emmett was standing and then in an instant I was there, snatching the ball out of the air just a second after he threw it. I was used to this, calculating at exactly what time and place I had to be but the way the rest looked at me made it seemed as if I'd performed magic.

"You bat." I gave him a little tap on the chest with the ball as I winked.

"It's so finely tuned." Carlisle gasped in utter amazement as I blinked hard to clear my eyesight.

"Hey it's cheating if you use that in the game," Emmett called like a child pointing out the liar to the parents.

"Ready?" I said, raising an eyebrow to my team. Alice was eager as she quickly nodded, grabbing hold of Jasper's bicep as they ran off to the side of the field to catch. I could sense Aslo becoming more comfortable around the Cullen's, he balanced well with the Cullen men, all except Edward. It was a shame there was such tension between them because otherwise I could see them having a lot in common.

"Third base?" Aslo asked, raising an eyebrow and I nodded as I rotated the ball in my hand.

"I'll try not to dust you when I get that homerun," Emmett said as he playfully clapped Aslo on the back. I could hear Edward's grumbles as he rolled his eyes, as he test swung the bat a few times.

I ignored his comment as I held the ball firmly in my hand, looking to my right to see Ren poised and ready on first base, while Garrett was crunching his knuckles on second.

The game began as of right now. I focussed as Edward stood ready at the batting stump, the bat angled just so, and his eyes watching the ball with piercing perception.

I leant my body back, gaining momentum as my arm came over and the ball left my palm with blistering speed, spinning through the air as the clouds above started to rumble.

Edward hit it, just as I had expected, but what I hadn't expected was the speed he possessed as he ran through the bases. I had always known he was fast, but I was human then and all the Cullens seemed fast to me. It was only now as a vampire that I could truly appreciate the speed he could reach.

"Aslo!" Alice called lightly and within seconds Aslo's hand was clutched around the ball and his body was taught and sturdy as he touched to base. Edward foot had barely hit the stump and the set of his jaw showed how badly he was fuming below his stern exterior.

"Better luck next time," Aslo said in a cool tone and when Edward was out of sight I sent Aslo a cold stare. We were here to play not taunt.

"Damn!" Emmett growled, my smirk bright as I pointed in his direction. Esme wrote down the score so far, and Aslo passed the ball back to me to start again.

The game persisted and with Alice using her gift in the field, Jasper using his logic, and the others playing hard on the bases we had managed to keep the number of homeruns down to three. It was a fact that had Emmett frustrated and competitive.

Now we were batting—and Alice had used her light feet to score our first run—I settled myself on the batting stump, smirking at Kate as she tossed the ball between her hands.

"The baseball novice can throw but can she hit the ball," She said in a teasing tone.

"Throw the ball, Kitty-Kat. We're starting to run low on thunder." Garrett called from behind me, earning a sigh from Kate.

I watched as she wound her body up, like a cobra waiting to spring. In a second she threw the ball and I timed my hit to the prime point to send the ball sailing off towards the forest. Edward was the first to pursue it while Emmett stayed out and ready with Eleazar.

I was off in a flash, running past Rosalie and Carlisle, my legs racing over the grass lithely as I hurtled towards Jacob on third base. A horrible scent ran through my nose, my head quickly snapping over at the creature that pounced onto the field, his paws standing strong on the muddy ground. Jacob had turned into his wolf form, the smell of wet dog running through the air. I could see Aslo's face turn into disgust, his chest stopped as he didn't breathe at all.

Emmett snarled in annoyance as I slid home, but it was Edward who growled when I leapt into Aslo's arms and he spun me through the air.

"Good job," Garrett said to me, patting my muddy back once I stood up. I smiled over to him, nodding my head as I looked at Esme who kept down the score on a mini scoreboard. The score was now three to two, my team in the lead and we still had four chances left to bat.

"Aim left!" Jasper yelled to Aslo while he stood to bat. No sooner had he said it than Aslo fired the ball into the blank space between the fielders and I watched as he powerfully passed by the bases. It wasn't until he was heading to third that I ever saw what was going to happen. Aslo was racing towards Jacob just as the ball hurtled through the air. He was almost at third when Jacob slammed right into him, his sharp teeth grabbing at his arm. Aslo snarled defensively and I could hear Rene gasp from the side. Aslo grabbed the coat of the wolf, throwing him to the side where he landed in the bleachers, all of them collapsing under him. Jacob was quickly back on his feet, his body jumping towards Aslo. I forced myself to jump to Aslo, keeping my eyes shut against the uncomfortable feeling as I brought him back to my original place. With my gift Jacob was still only mid jump and Aslo was out of the way. His body's momentum sent him back into the muddy ground, it showing a clear mark in the dirt. Edward hissed from the side of me, Aslo throwing himself in front of me, his arms spread out protectively as he bared his teeth. His emotions were heightened by the jump, as always.

"You're protecting a Mutt?" Aslo bellowed, his voice hinting with confusion.

"He is a part of this family, Aslo," Carlisle explained as he walked in front of Edward, giving him an expression to calm down. Edward became less tense, but he was still standing his ground, "He is with Nessie," Carlisle said, pointing at Rene who was by Jacob's side, her hands clutching at his fur as he stood in front of her.

I let out a loud laugh at the mentioned of that awful pet name, but quickly pressed my lips together as I could hear Jacob growling under his breath, "Oh cool it you tail wagger." I shot at him, hearing Edward stifle his laugh. Aslo stayed at his current position, his fingers curled as his teeth were bared. He was heated, and one thing I have learned about him was that when he was heated, you quit whatever you are doing. Aslo always had a gift for composure but whenever we had jumped together that composure had a tendency to slip. I didn't want that to happen here and now. "I think we'll head out now. We'll see you at home," I said to the Denalis, pressing my hand on Aslo's shoulder, "Aslo," I soothed, listening as he snarled slightly. He finally pulled away from his position, his arm wrapping around my shoulder as we began to walk.

"Esme…" I said, grabbing a hold of her hands before we had left, "Thank you for a wonderful time. Sorry it got a bit rough." I apologized, looking back to Aslo.

"No, it's alright." She smiled, wrapping her arm around my shoulder, "Come by anytime. Our door is always open for you two."

"Thank you," Aslo added before he urged me forward.

I looked up to Aslo as I wrapped my arm around his waist, hearing the clear definite sigh from Edward's mouth.

* * *

"Come on, Tanya, stop worrying about chipping your nail polish," I called as Kate snickered next to me, each of us rushing around the trees, bounding over fallen logs and boulders.

"She'll have you for that," Kate said as we heard a growl echo from our left.

"Just pointing out the facts," I replied as I noticed Carmen seemingly gliding on Kate's left. She was always such a graceful huntress. "It's not my fault if Little Miss Priss can't take it." I teased and Tanya's returning hiss slid on the wind, her body coming into view through the thick of the tree trunks.

"I see no need to rush such a sublime experience, Sarelle." Tanya cooed as she glanced at me, her hair up in a pony tail while mine fluttered free behind me. Her eyes only settled on me for a second before a scent whipped past our noses and her attention was drawn away.

Whatever it was, was delicious but I could smell a tangible scent that kept me running west. It was faint but luxurious. I just hoped Kate wasn't chasing the same prey.

"You and Aslo, is there more there than you're telling us?" Kate asked as we continued to run.

"Nope," I said sharply before forcing myself forward and high up into a nearby tree. I was upon it, a grizzly bear with a large thumping heart and thick ruby blood in its veins.

My throat growled with impatience but it sounded like a mere grumble on the wind that rushed through the leaves.

I positioned myself above the bear. I felt my thirst flooding venom in my mouth with impatience. My mind fought to control me but one more whiff of the scent clouded my judgement and I leapt from the tree straight on to the back of the bear. It roared at being caught unaware. I clung to its back grabbing fistfuls of fur. Its large clawed paws swiped at me ripping slits in the side of my t shirt and jeans.

The bear took one more swipe and I hissed as it scratched my skin. It's not that it hurt but it irritated me that it hadn't just surrendered yet.

I growled as I sunk my teeth through the thick fur. I spat it out before attacking the bear's jugular again. As my teeth pierced the thin layer of skin I moaned as the sensation of the hot sweet liquid running down my throat. I felt ambrosial filling my stomach to the point that I thought I would explode with too much liquid. I tossed the drained bear to the side and sat against it staring up at the forest canopy. Green light filtering through the air. The thirst was gone I couldn't even imagine that it had ever existed. I was completely satisfied.

"YEEHAW COW GIRL!" Kate's laughter bounced around me as she appeared with a teasing grin on her face.

"Oh shush, I'm not as practiced as you, remember." I let my head loll against the bears cooling body, my arms and legs relaxed around me.

Kate came and joined me, refastening her top button which had clearly dislodged itself when she hunted.

"Now where were we before you rudely disappeared," she said and I glanced at her before closing my eyes and basking in the feeling of euphoria.

"I believe you were asking me if I was involved in Aslo in more ways than friendship, to which I replied that no I am not."

"Tanya seems to think otherwise, and I'm inclined to agree with her given the behaviour you two projected on the field earlier." Kate shifted on the bear, resting her elbow on the soft stomach while her fingers stroked through its fur.

"We're just close. I would act the same with any of you, or the Cullens."

"Yes but the difference is that Edward wouldn't look like he was about to rip someone's head off if you acted that way with any of us." Her casual tone contrasted strongly with the words she said.

"Edward Cullen." I sighed. "He's an enigma."

"Maybe, but the jealousy he was portraying was pretty simple to see." I opened my eyes and rolled them at her comment, dismissing it as the foolish notion it was.

"He just doesn't seem to like Aslo, perhaps for the history with Alice or maybe the fact that Aslo was a human blood drinker. It's not jealousy. There's no reason that it would be."

"If you say so."

We lounged there for a few moments more, enjoying the sunlight for once since we could so rarely do so.

Soon enough Carmen and Tanya appeared from opposite directions and we stood to leave the bear behind.

"Did you ask her?" Tanya directed at Kate.

"Yes, sister mine. Sarelle, would you care to tell Tanya what you told me."

"Aslo and I are merely friends, always have been, always will be."

"So he's not off limits." Tanya asked with a sly smile.

"He is as limitless as it is possible to be."

"Lovely," she said as she clutched my hand in hers and squeezed before letting go and taking off home, each of us joining her.

When we returned I noticed the men had also gotten back from their hunt and I gave a grateful smile to Garrett and Eleazar. They had offered to take Aslo into the forest to help him cool off after the issue at the baseball.

I landed myself on the sofa next to Aslo, looking at his face with the same pride that was always there whenever he looked at me recently. It was still so strange to look at him and see golden eyes looking back at me. They were brighter now that he had just hunted.

I reached forward with my hand and touched his temple, drawing my finger round to his cheekbone as I marvelled at the way the gold watched me. His hand reached up to mine and squeezed as he smiled.

I heard a throat clear and looked up to see Tanya quirking her eyebrow at me. I smirked and moved my hand back down to my lap.

"You know, Aslo, you and Tanya have a lot in common. She's from Eastern Europe too," I said and Aslo's attention was drawn to the beautiful strawberry blond who leant against the doorframe behind us.

"I thought I detected a familiar accent," he commented genially as his eyes appraised her newly hunted form. There was no denying that Tanya was a beautiful woman, and with the flush of the hunt and her windswept hair down from its pony tail she was even lovelier. She was a woman I had always imagined Aslo falling for, and hoped he would soon.

"Co na srdci, to na jazyku" (_What's in the heart, that's on the tongue_)

"Rodný jazyk bude vždy dovede domů," (_The native tongue will always lead you home_) Aslo replied as he rose from the sofa and they left together, Czech running from their tongues like torrents from a waterfall.

As Aslo talked I noticed Tanya turn back and give me a smile before answering. There was something in the way she watched him intently that gave me hope that he would be more than a conquest to her.

I waited until they were out of sight before I slid out the back door. I suddenly found my muscles were itching to run, to do something other than be still and dormant. Everyone in the house was occupied and for once I found myself bored. Bored and with too many thoughts tearing through my mind. I knew the open air would help, a wild run through the forests, a thrilling adventure of sorts.

I grinned as I started my sprint, sending leaves fluttering into the air as I passed. Even though it never tired me, and my brain could still think just as much and just as fast, I always found that running soothed me somehow.

I raced through streams and leapt over crevices, each obstacle adding a new sensory element. There was the smell of late summer in the air and it made everything seem sweeter somehow. Even the rotting wood held a heady fragrance.

I giggled as I swung myself up into the treetops. It was there I lounged against a bough, watching as the sun filtered down through the patchwork of leaves, warming me a little where it touched.

As I closed my eyes I heard a rustled come from below.

I peered down and saw Edward stalking a deer. It didn't smell all that appetising but then again it wasn't the deer which kept me transfixed.

I had never seen Edward hunt and it had me captivated as I silently played audience. It was almost voyeuristic, or at least it felt that way. However perhaps it was only because of the way he moved that made it seem an almost deviant thing for me to do.

His shoulders rolled sinuously as he crept lower to the ground, and the way his long legs moved with such grace and lithe strength was sublime.

He was silent and the deer was unaware, so it was a surprise when he stood suddenly and let it race away startled.

I watched as he spun on the spot, as if searching before his eyes snapped up to see me.

His face split into a grin before he reigned it in.

"Your hunting technique seems a little unorthodox, or do you just like the chase?" I called down as I indicated the deer dashing through the undergrowth a few hundred yards away.

"I got distracted," he returned as he continued to look up at me. "I wasn't expecting to have an audience," He smirked and I chuckled as I stepped off the branch and plummeted to the ground, landing straight in front of him.

"Oh, Edward, an audience suggests there was something to see," I grinned as I teased him. It felt easy to talk with him, to talk like we used to.

"Hunting is hunting, you don't get points for style."

"Maybe, but you hunt too much with your head and not enough with your heart. I bet you don't even break a button." I smirked as I noted his pristine outfit and he raised an eyebrow.

We stayed like that for a long second before he pressed his lips in a hard line, hiding a smile, and cleared his throat.

"Is Aslo not with you?" he asked casually.

"No, he's with Tanya," I replied quizzically. He surely knew that already. Since he had managed to smell me from up in the treetops, his sense of smell would surely have noted that Aslo's scent wasn't with mine.

"Where is Bella?" I returned as I shifted on my feet. I couldn't decide why I had asked where she was, but there was something in my gut that made it feel elicit, as if I were checking if there were witnesses around.

"She's hunting with Nessie and Jacob," Edward said quietly as his eyes fixed on me.

That was when it started. The silence between us began to fill with a tension that seemed to hum in the air. With every moment that passed it piled into the void until I was certain it was overflow and take over us both. A consummation of a force that would control us like magnets.

In a hope to ease the buzz between us I studied his clothes. The charcoal grey slacks that hung perfectly over his lean legs. The pale blue shirt that seemed so soft that I had the urge to rub it between my fingertips, to feel the way it skimmed over his torso. He was pristine, perfect, _potent_.I bit my lip and moved my eyes to my own clothing. Ragged jeans with ripped hems led down to muddied bare feet, while a just too short red vest top framed the leaves tangled in my long windswept hair. I was a mess, inside and out, while he was still looking at me in the same way that just exuded the fact that he was so put together, so in control, and so sure of everything.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, piercing the silence.

I edited. "I'm thinking that maybe I should take Tanya's advice and try not to bring the forest with me every time I run." I smiled weakly as I reached to pull a leaf out the blonde waves.

Edward smiled and softly removed a second leaf nestled amongst my hair before slowly running his hand down through my hair, grazing my cheek like he used to.

I caught his hand in mine before he could reach that sensitive spot on my neck. "Don't," I said firmly.

He brought his hand round in mine, his touch brushing over my rigid fingers.

I noticed the way he contemplated the platinum ring sitting on my left ring finger. We each knew it so well.

"You never took it off." I met his eyes as he spoke. "Why?"

I pulled my hand away and held it in my other as I looked at the ring and back at Edward. "It's mine. It's a part of me." As soon as I spoke the words I knew that the same applied to Edward himself. He was buried beneath my skin as memories, dreams, and regrets.

I noticed his own wedding ring and tucked my hands into my jean pockets in shame. Who was I to think he was a part of me when in reality I had no part of him. I wasn't entitled to either.

"I have to go. I have somewhere to be," I lied before turning and running just as fast as I had on my way here. The only difference was that now it wasn't for pleasure, and now it didn't soothe my thoughts. In fact every step made them grow louder and louder in my mind.

Confusion tainted every notion but beneath it was a worry and shame that I had never encountered. I felt dirty, as if my conversation with Edward was some secret that was wrong or immoral. But how could that be? It was just a conversation.

As I ran I thought of the words '_it's a part of me'_ and how deep they rang true. In reality, Edward had always been a part of me, even when he couldn't know it.

_2nd November 1961_

_I'm running, faster than I've ever ran. The need for my legs to push forward had never been this strong before. Not when I was hunting, not when I was hurrying back to Aslo, not even when I was being chased by an enemy. Nothing had invoked such a feeling of desperation as that scent._

_It was faint when I first caught it but it's stronger now._

_I pushed myself faster as I started to recognise where the scent was coming from. I knew this place like the back of my hand, so as I ran I thought of Aslo and the deer I left behind. We were hunting when I first smelt the fragrance so I was sure he'd have been too distracted to see me leave. As I gained distance between Aslo and I, I felt my mind become more and more certain that the distance was a good thing. I wanted this to be private, personal, not something shared by an outsider. Aslo wouldn't understand because he didn't know that this was **him**. He knew of **him**__but he wouldn't realise at first and that would mean he couldn't tell me to be cautious. I didn't want to be cautious now, I'd waited too long—sixty years too long._

_I wove through the trees at a blistering pace until I found myself at the darkened edge of the meadow. It hadn't changed much since the last visit I'd paid to plant a flower in respect of my parents, but all of a sudden it seemed a completely different place._

_My eyes found **him** immediately, standing in the centre of the meadow with one of those little purple flowers between his thumb and forefinger. _

_I beamed as I went to take a step forward, only to find myself suddenly flooded with that all too familiar electrical tingle running through my limbs. It made them heavy, sluggish, almost unable to move._

_I frowned in confusion as I looked up at Edward again, the wind playing with his hair. He should know I'm here. He should hear my breath, my footsteps. He should smell my scent. But as I watched he never reacted. He just stayed standing, his eyes closed and his face turned to the sun as he twirled the flower between his fingertips._

_"Edward," I called as the wind blew around the meadow, ruffling the grasses and causing the leaves in the trees to burst into chatter._

_"Edward!" I shouted again, straining against the feeling in my limbs but only find it heighten with every inch I try to move forward. My voice had no force, no sound._

_As I forced myself forward and the electrical crackle built in my ears I almost didn't hear the noise of footsteps rushing over the forest floor. Quick and agile, like feathers brushing over leaves._

_My eyes stay fixed on Edward until the very point when the tingle became too much, and as I collided with the running force I was catapulted through time to the very meadow I had just been so close to. Only now it's new and young, still showing the scars of my initial visit to it after my parents' death. It the point where everything began. The beginning I always seemed to return to when I became lost._

_I rubbed my eyes furiously, trying to erase the gritty feeling that irritated my lids every time I blinked. Part of me couldn't help but think that perhaps I was trying to force the tears to fall. The tears that seem trapped inside even though my sobs ring out around me._

_It wasn't until I took my first breath that I felt the steel grip loosen from around me, arms unwinding, no longer needing to hang on._

_"Sarelle?" Aslo's voice said softly in my ear but I'm too far gone to really hear him. All I can think about is the unfair way fate had toyed with me. It let me see **him,** smell **him,** and yet it refused to allow me anything else._

_I screamed in frustration, snarling as I wriggled against the arms that had once again tightened their hold. I could feel that itching building, that tingle running over my skin that feels like a millions little pin pricks. As my fists pound into the ground we jumped again, Aslo and I, right back to the place we had been hunting before I had ran off. I knew it couldn't have been long after because the blood was still the colour of rubies as it spilled from my animals' neck._

_I turned and nestled into Aslo's hold, feeling his hands rub circles on my back._

_"That was him, wasn't it," he said simply. I didn't need to reply, he had guessed the minute he saw him._

**Thanks for reading. Previews available as always. x**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

_Thank you for the reviews! Sorry for the wait, but this one took a little fiddling around with. Also apologies if the story is movign a little slower than you would like. I have the plot line pretty much fixed now so I know where the story is going but like the first one it will take a little time to get to the end point. In the meantime I've started work on a couple more stories, one will be called 'Serendipity' and the other ' The Dark I know Well'. They're both different from each other and hopefullly other stories on here. So if you fancy doing me a favour and reading the first chapters when they get posted up I'd be very grateful :)_

_Anyway on with the show._

_x_

I shut the door to the Denali house behind me and swung my bag onto to my shoulder as I ran towards the town. It felt like this visit was the first normal thing I had done since the Cullens and Aslo arrived. Before they came it wasn't unusual for me and the others to go into town, visiting the mall, the library, enjoying the lively community ambience of Colter Bay. However since our once quiet existence changed and adapted, it had seemed like there was never enough time to just take a slow day wandering around at leisure.

I slowed down to a human paced walk as I came close to the town. I had one destination to the in mind and that was the old fashioned library that the village had managed to hold onto. The again as I took a step in the right direction I smelt two familiar scents on the wind and my head turned with a smile towards the small—and only—boutique in the area.

I skipped across the road and opened the door carefully. The bell rang out creating a pleasant ringing that echoed softly through the shop, only interrupted by the sound of a little tinkling voice and the scraping of metal hangers against stylish clothe rail.

"Oh, Jazz, look they have a vintage Dior... and it's just like that one I had in Belmore." The voice rose to an excitable squeal that I knew well.

I crept towards the back of the shop, moving too swiftly for the shop owner to notice. I grinned as I saw Alice and Jasper standing next to the rail which held some of the most expensive pieces. Jasper wore his usual indulgent smile as Alice layered garments over his arms and rattled through the rail as if it were a treasure trove.

I gazed fondly at the lilac Dior she had placed on top of the ever growing pile in Jasper's arms. It was exactly like the dress she had worn when she and I went into Belmore with Esme, the day after Valentine's day in Belmore.

"I always did like that one." I quipped as I stepped into view.

"Sarelle!" Alice grinned as she threw yet another dress at Jasper and spun to embrace me in a tight hug.

"I should have guessed you would find this place eventually," I said as I released her and greeted Jasper.

"She has exhausted all the shops in the mall. Literally in some cases." Jasper grinned as Alice pouted.

"Some humans just have no stamina."

Jasper moved towards the cashier while Alice brightened. "It seems like forever since we talked. There's so much to catch up on. Aslo being one thing. It's been amazing talking with him, he's done so much." Alice gushed as I nodded and we walked slowly towards the door.

I couldn't really think what to say so I just settled on listening. I had spent around a hundred years with Aslo, we'd had a million conversations, and experienced a million different events together. Still, to hear his stories and memories through Alice's eager voice gave them a different spin. It was like she saw a new aspect of them that I had never noticed.

Jasper caught up with us just after we left the shop and took Alice's hand in his. "The shopkeeper will deliver your purchases later on today, Darlin'," he said with a kiss.

"I was just telling Sarelle about Aslo...which probably is a bit odd because she was with him for at least a sixth of his life," she explained sheepishly.

"Alice, it's fine. I like hearing you talking about him, and it's great the two of you are getting on so well."

"He's quite a man, loyal, constant. We all see him as a friend already. He's even managed to win over Rosalie." Jasper smiled quietly.

"Only person who doesn't seem to get on with him is Edward. He was completely out of order at the baseball game. It was embarrassing," Alice mumbled.

"He hasn't been himself for the past few weeks. There is clearly something bothering him but he won't talk to anyone about it." Jasper explained and I smiled because of course Jasper would notice. No one can keep their feelings from him.

"It probably doesn't help that Bella isn't around, and even when she is she doesn't seem to notice." I frowned as Alice said this.

"Where's Bella?"

Jasper glanced at his wife and I noticed her sad smile before he spoke. "Her father, Charlie, is ill. The doctors say he only has a few weeks left so Bella has been visiting him. She even asked Carlisle to give his opinion, to see if there was anything we could do but there isn't."

Alice's face saddened as Jasper continued. She was obviously quite fond of Bella's father.

"It's strange, ever since her father's illness, Bella's been more conscious of her human family. She even asked Carlisle to arrange a payment to be sent to Dylan."

I brightened at this news. Perhaps Bella hadn't forgotten her family as I had thought. "Do you know if he got it? If it's helped?" I asked eagerly.

"According to Carlisle the payment went through on the pretence of an insurance fault. People never question anything to do with insurance, it's the perfect scapegoat." Jasper smirked and Alice perked up.

"Emmett and Rosalie were staying over that way a few days ago, yet another honeymoon, and they said Dylan's hired a carer for Phil. They seemed happy apparently." Alice smiled at me and I returned it but on the surface I was curious as to why Bella had asked Carlisle to arrange the payment, yet not follow it up. Wouldn't she want to see that it had helped? Was she not a little intrigued to see the family she missed out on?

I shook off the thoughts as Alice's phone buzzed and reminded me that I too had other things to do.

"I should get to the library, I guess," I said to Jasper as I indicated the bag of books.

"Come over to the house soon, we all miss you and those Denali's have had you to themselves far too long." Jasper grinned as he wrapped his arm around Alice and guided her away as she waved and talked on her phone.

As I turned myself in the direction of the library I ran my hand through my hair and promised to forget about all thoughts to do with Bella and her estranged family. It never left me in a very good mood.

* * *

I ignored the scent of the humans around me and focussed on the words on the page in front of me as I sat quietly in the local library. It was one of my favourite places to be when I could and it was a wonderful tribute to the old libraries of times gone by. There was once a time when books lined the shelves and their pages whispered knowledge to you in the scent of parchment and paper in the air. Now it was all electronic, clinical, not a single dusty fragrance in the air. This library. However, had retained its roots and still had the tall shelves I found so much comfort in. I was capable with a computer but I loved the feel of a book in my palms, the pages between my fingertips. It made it more than just written words.

I smiled as I relaxed into the leather and scanned my eyes over the page. It was a book on the genetic revolution of 2015. It was wondrous to think that first came the revolutions of things so dirty and industrial until it transcended into something as small as altering the tiniest part of a person's DNA. It seemed like mere minutes ago that they announced the discovery of a cancer cure, and yet it had been decades. Decades in which so many more problems had arisen and kept the whirring minds of the scientists busy. 2030 brought world famine, unstoppable deaths due to the fact the world's population was just too big for the little planet it occupied. When that problem was solved, the next popped up, the ugly mutations that all but halted the global birth rate and the state of evolution. All these things had come and gone and I had lived through them. I had seen wars waste a countries population, nuclear feuds eradicate whole generations for the sake of land and fuel. I had seen humanity at its very worst and very best in equal measure. It was a thing to marvel at, even though so many of my kind disparaged the human race for their fickle, violent nature. All I saw was the beauty of it and by seeing how they lived and loved so brilliantly I saw beauty in my own human existence. It was true that you see things so much clearer when you are only able to look back on them.

A wave of plain vanilla scent wafted under my nose bringing with it a certain pressure that comes before a human approached, like they heat the air around them ever so slightly. I kept my eyes on my book, gripping it a little tighter as I hear a thundering heart and smelt the way nervous sweat makes the scent grow stronger.

A glance up clarified what I already knew by the strong whiff of aftershave mixing with the vanilla. A college boy was sauntering towards me, casting a confident smirk over his shoulder at his friends who huddled over by the computers.

"Just watch and learn," he said to his friends as he began making his way towards my chair which is in the quietest part of the library where people rarely venture. I couldn't quite decide whether their absence from the area was due to the lack of natural lighting or my presence.

"Hey, I'm Jamie," the boy said, nearing my seat.

"And I'm not interested. Sorry." I shot at him, but refused to look up.

"B-But…" He stuttered, obviously shocked that I knew what he was up to. I looked up at him, my hands holding the book rigid as my eyes were a hard glare. His face widened with shock as his breathing became irregular.

"I said no. Not even in a million years." I smiled impishly, watching as his face grew red as he could hear his friends in the background laughing at how he just got turned down. I could clearly hear a defined chuckle produced in the corner of the room and looked up to see Edward watching our interaction. I was entertaining him. Jamie nodded his head as if I was actually having a conversation with him. He turned his body around and walked back in complete shame.

"Nice job," The honey voice said to me as he eased in closer to my space. I rolled my eyes, looking back down at my book and I finished up the final words on the page, "You're being quite a distraction, you know," Edward commented as I looked up from the corner of my eye.

"What do you mean?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well…" He cleared his throat as if he was embarrassed to say something, "I-I mean no man can concentrate on reading when you're here...like that." He chuckled under his breath, the sound of it creating an all too familiar urge to blush. Shame I couldn't. "You look beautiful." He finished somewhat awkwardly.

"Erm…Thanks," I said, scrunching my nose. His golden eyes were on me, I could just sense it. What was he doing? Staring at my now perfectly moulded immortal face? Or was he just trying to figure me out? The thought of knowing he was staring made my still-heart attempt to beat. Though it never would, and I although would never get the feeling of being able to feel it thump through my body, I would always remember it.

"Was there something else, or were you going to stand there all day?" I smirked.

He raised an eyebrow then smiled shaking his head. I looked over to him, watching as his emotions almost collapsed in front of my eyes, "I wanted to apologise for my behaviour last night. I cannot say I'm sorry for the things I did but..."

"What is this Edward?" I sighed under my breath, dipping my head.

"I don't know," he whispered, desolate.

"It's a little ironic, don't you think. That here we are again, dodging the words we have to say in yet another library. So much like our first proper meeting," I thought wistfully as I looked around the tall stacks of the library. There were so few true libraries left nowadays, most books had been converted into electronic formats. It was a rare thing now to read a book and actually feel its weight in your hands, its crinkled paper pages on your fingertips, smell that old familiar scent as you open it.

"Can we talk, tonight, at the cliff?"

"I'm not sure that would be wise," I whispered between my lips.

"Please," he urged.

"Why? You haven't exactly seemed eager to talk these past few weeks."

"I know and...I want to explain but it's a little more complicated than can be said in a library." His voice became more frustrated as he talked, peering around him as if he were a spy in foreign territory. It was almost comical to see this man who had once seemed so put together to now be acting with a hint of paranoia.

I shut the book and lowered my legs from the seat, crossing them in the process.

"I'll be there at midnight," I said as I looked up coolly at him, seeing his happiness in his eyes.

"Thank you," he said as his hand reached forward to brush my hand, pulling back quickly before he allowed his fingers to entwine with mine. I had promised Aslo I was fine with the current situation, that I was over Edward. I'd promise myself just as much, yet I found myself giving a reluctant nod of agreement out of curiosity. As I watched his retreating figure I bit my lip in worry. What had I done? What had I started?

**Do you think Edward and Sarelle are better as friends or lovers? Do you think Bella asked for the money to be sent to Dylan out of guilt or do you think she just felt like she should to make herself feel better? Is Edward happy in his and Bella's relationship? And if you have an 'ideal ending' tell me about it, I'd love to know where you see this story going :)**

**Thanks for reading. Previews available as always. x**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

_Thank you for the reviews! This chapter is a direct continuation of the last one which is why it's been posted today rather than next week. It's the meeting at the cliff :) Hope you like __x_

I shook my head as I looked a few feet in front of me, seeing the garden of violet flowers with all of their heads pointing downwards. _Knautia arvensis_. I sighed softly, leaning down to pluck one from its place. I smiled at their beauty, their posture, their grace, the moonlight reflecting on their lovely starburst petals.

"Beautiful night." I heard the voice call out, my eyes darting up as I watched the pale figure emerge from the darkness of the forest. Edward's bright eyes were glorious, his smile calm and soothing. I relaxed my body as I could hear his steps becoming closer, my head nodding as I looked back down at the flowers.

"Mhm," I murmured as I sat down on the ground, looking at the _Arvensis_ once again.

"They are gorgeous," he said, kneeling down in front of me. I tucked my hand under my chin as I looked up to him, my eyes studying his every move as he came closer, placing his fingers against the petal, his skin sparkling under the moonlight. I looked down at my skin, noticing that mine was doing the exact same thing. It was different, I could feel the sparkles twinkling against my arm. I sighed softly, nodding my head as I looked back up to him with a smile.

"They always remind me of my parents. It's nice in a way. Stops me from feeling lost."

"I always think of the meadow, the days spent there."

"Yes, I think of those days too. It's a very special place,"

"Carmen mentioned something...that you leave for Forks every year, a tradition of some kind." Edward's eyes caught mine, puzzled and curious.

"It's to mark the anniversary of my parents deaths. I plant a single seed of these little flowers next to that oak tree every year. It helps a little."

"The cross, on the oak tree...All this time I never knew."

"Another mystery uncovered." I smiled and sealed my lips from revealing anymore about the meadow. Edward didn't need to know what my first few months as a vampire had been like there, how I had jumped there in anger and grief and torn the place to ruin all those years ago.

"What are you thinking about?" I finally asked him. How many times had he asked me that question? Now it was my turn.

Edward sighed softly, his lips forming into what looked like a frown. How upsetting could his life have been that he had to frown about it? I gently nudged his perfectly shaped elbow as I watched him sit in a trance-like state.

"I don't know…" He breathed between every word, his eyes staying away from mine as he watched the water trickle down the rocks, "I've just been very… Distracted lately." He finally looked down at me, his lips forming into a crooked smile. It made my ice-cold heart melt, and I could have sworn I heard a beat, even though I knew it was impossible.

"By me?" I asked with surprise.

He nodded shamefully as he shook his head.

"It's true," he admitted as he watched me, his hand pressing against my cheek. "I've been _too_ distracted," he gushed.

"I'm sorry." I choked, looking down as I shook my head, "I didn't know it was bothering you so much."

"No, no. What I mean is… I've been so oblivious to the world. I'm now finally seeing what's in front of me." He divulged as his eyes gazed at me with passion. I felt my mind go numb.

"Edward…" I sighed, looking away as I brushed his hand from my cheek, "You shouldn't be saying this…"

"Why not?" He almost cried as he placed his hand right back on my cheek, "Sarelle I've never fallen out of love with you…"

"Edward-"

"Listen to me." He demanded as his free hand pressed against my waist, "I still love Bella. I would never turn away from her, but it's you." He sighed softly, "The one that I just can't seem to get my mind off of."

I shook my head, my mind filling with guilt. What if Bella heard him saying these words? Well she would be totally heartbroken. I know the feeling though, I know that heart wrenching feeling you get after you have been completely broken down, to the point where there is nothing left. Until it's just you and the darkness, and you know you will never fully heal from the wound.

"Edward, stop." I sucked in a deep breath, my hands pulling away from him

"What's wrong?" He asked, holding his hands out for me to grab. I shook my head as I turned away, letting out a soft sigh.

"You shouldn't be saying these words to me, alright? You're a married man. You have a child for god's sake!" I sighed, shaking my head as I held out my own arms.

"Sarelle…" He said, his voice filled with infatuation and sincerity. He cupped my cheeks together, his eyes gazing into mine as he breathed against the skin of my lips, "Is it so wrong to love someone else?" He asked, his voice filled with wonder.

"When you're married… Yes." I told him truthfully.

"Then so help me God, for I have sinned." He admitted, his eyes blazing with a fiery passion that only I could see. That was only for me to see.

"You've said those words to me once before," I murmured as I stared down at the purple flowers. The feelings those words had once ignited in me was a distance memory, and now they crawled up my spine like a vine growing on an old brick wall. Seeping through, reaching for every nook and crevice, invading where they shouldn't be.

_"Then forgive me for I have sinned," he whispered the words into my ear. I hated the desiring shiver that ran down my spine as his scent clouded my mind, and the cool feel of him ignited the fire that had burnt in me when we were together._

_I didn't want to want him. It would do me no good to feel this way when there was no way for me to ever have him, but I would be damned if I didn't adore his passion._

_I felt his lips brush against my forehead, and then the tip of my nose, making their way towards my aching lips that begged for his divine touch. As soon as I felt his hands lightly tilt my face towards his I felt a new wave of panic sear through me._

_I couldn't do this._

_I couldn't kiss a married man, especially when he was married to Bella. It didn't matter that he was Edward, and we had history between us. He wasn't my Edward anymore, he was Bella's._

_I lurched away from his seductive grasp and waited for the butterflies in my stomach to still and my racing blood to slow down, before standing static still in his arms._

_I couldn't kiss him, but I didn't want to leave his embrace. It was where I felt safe and at home._

_Edward sighed and rested his head on the top of mine as I leant against his chest._

_We stood in comfortable silence until the all too familiar tingle sparked in my fingertips. My whole body tensed at the sensation, and I felt Edward stiffen next to me_.

"How thoughtless of me to repeat old lines in a situation so very different." His fingers tipped my head up to his gaze, a small smile playing on his lips as he watched my eyes intently.

I frowned at the words he'd spoken. "Different? Nothing has changed Edward." His smile dropped. "Bella has given you everything, she's your family. I can give you nothing, just as before." I turned away and looked out to the cliff. The wind blew in and caused my hair to brush against my face so I caught a strand and played with the end as I tried to muddle through what he was saying. Why he was saying it. Why now.

"I don't see it that way."

He was next to me in a second and his hand reached out to brush away the hair that covered my face from his view.

"This time I wouldn't have to watch you disappear before my eyes." He stroked my face as he continued. "I could keep you safe."

"I'm not fragile anymore, Edward," I said bitterly as I turned my face away from him and back to the dark view of the civilisation below.

"I know, I can feel it." He chuckled and I cast a glance at him, watching as he stuck his hands into his pockets and joined me in looking out over the cliff. "You're strong, more powerful than you probably believe yourself to be." I pressed my lips together as I thought of the gift I was said to possess. I didn't think myself powerful, and I had certainly never felt that way when I was human. I had always thought myself so weak.

Edward's hand reached out and brushed my forearm as it sat crossed against my chest, moving towards my hand and urging me to unwrap my arms and let him hold the hand he used to. Hold _me_ like he used to. "But your power doesn't draw me. It's you, you will always be precious to me."

I felt my arm relax and my hand fell into his as I turned towards him. At the sight of his eyes watching me, the darkness creating a seductive hue to the usual gold, and the moonlight making his skin twinkle delicately, I almost felt myself waver from my stronghold.

I took a deep breath, covering our joined hands with my other. "And to me you will always be the man who showed me I could love and be loved," I brushed his skin once, enjoying the texture of it under my touch, before pulling my hand free. "But you will also be the man who is always out of reach. Not meant for me."

He frowned at my words or perhaps it was at the way I stepped away, removing myself from temptation.

"I may not be jumping as much anymore, but there are other barriers between us, Edward, and they are not barriers I will breach. You have a wife, a family, a daughter."

I touched my hand to my chest as I thought of what all those things meant, how much they would mean to me if I was the one with a husband and living child. If that was actually possible for me. "They are things I once dreamed of. I will not be the one to turn all that to ash." I finished quietly, trying to avoid the way his eyes made a thickness rise in my throat.

I moved myself away intent on leaving him there. Intent on ending this bizarre experience now before it started to make sense in my mind, before it seemed like it was something tangible.

"Stop turning away from me," he pleaded as his hand grasped for mine, stroking across my knuckles once he knew my movements had halted.

It was easier feeling his hand in mine when I didn't see him in front of me. It was almost like I could drift back to the days when I was a newborn and I could get so lost in my imagination that I could feel his touches on my skin. It was easier to treat this as a slip into a strange subconscious rather than treat it as anything real.

I let my thumb slip over his skin feeling the crevices of each of his fingers. Thumb, with the soft pad which had brushed my cheek a thousand times. The forefinger which had tilted my head so gently either to turn my gaze to his or reveal an inch of skin he hadn't kissed. His middle finger which had drawn circles on my back while I drifted off to sleep. And the finger of most significance, the third finger which held the little gold band that was a barrier that no offense could ever breach. Except as my touch rested there I found no barrier, no ring, no vow of fidelity.

"Where is your ring?" I gasped as I spun to see its absence with my own eyes.

Edward looked down at his finger, bringing his hand back as he raised an eyebrow, "Oh." He said. _Oh_? That's all he could say, was just _Oh_? For someone who has been married for the past forty three years, and has no ring on his finger his reaction is _Oh_?, "I guess I forgot to put it on…" What if Bella heard these words? Surely she would rip him to shreds; no married man should just forget to put on his ring.

"You forgot?" I let out a dark chuckle as I shook my head, "That's probably something you shouldn't forget."

"Well, we don't wear our rings to school, because we are not really married," he said in a-matter-of-fact way. I looked at him in complete and utter awe, my eyes trying to find a deeper meaning.

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to regain my composer, "you had a Wedding, I know you did, I was there, remember."

"We are married, just not legally," he said, trying to explain himself though I still couldn't make out where he was trying to get at, "I mean it's very difficult to explain. None of us are married. Legally, I mean. Because being married, is just like being born. They keep tabs on you with your birth certificate, or your marriage certificate, but with it being your birth certificate, you can change your name. As my last name used to be Masen, and now is Cullen. Edward Masen is dead." As he said the words, I gulped, "With a Marriage License, you can't just change your name. And with us trying to hide out, we must be very secretive of our actions. And if someone who was suspicious of us, saw that we had Wedding rings on, they can search us up easy with the technology they have now and days. Outside of school we wear our wedding bands, Carlisle and Esme wear them twenty-four seven but that is because they look old enough to be married. The rest just pretend we are merely dating," he said as his lips part into a smile his golden eyes reflecting from the moonlight.

So he wasn't legally married... I stopped that chain of thought immediately. Those were dangerous thoughts, feverish with realisation. Although he wasn't legally married it didn't mean he wasn't _married_. It would still be considered as cheating.

"Why tell me that, Edward?" I asked sternly as I watched him. Did he think a marriage certificate was the only thing stopping me from surrendering to whatever it was growing inside me? That very thought made me flare with anger. Did he think so little of me as to think I would disregard the loving family he had back home?

"I just...I didn't mean for it to sound that way." His hand went to his hair as he paced, releasing it with frustration. "Since seeing you for that first time. You've affected me more than you can know, Sarelle."

I sat myself on the cliff edge, my legs dangling over it, as I pressed my lips into a hard line because I knew exactly what he meant. Since finding him again I had felt more confusion than ever before. Even when I woke from the turn, I had found myself somewhere in the madness. Now, I found myself thinking and acting in a way that my previous self would never had.

Edward came and sat beside me, our bodies turned out over the view.

He became quiet and I dared a glance at his expression. I was mad, insulted that he would think so little of me. Then there was the disgruntled part of me that couldn't help but be exasperated at how sure of himself he was. He honestly believed that all it took was a look, a touch, a word from him and I would instantly be the love-sick teen he had once known. It was as if he thought that for all the years that had passed, I hadn't changed. I hadn't evolved or grown up. I had just been static, in love with him forever. Well he was wrong. He had to be because the feeling rumbling within didn't feel like love. It didn't feel like anything I understood, it was too twisted and tangled to make sense of. I cared for him, I knew that much. And there were times when I could feel this wanting, but I couldn't help but think that it was just a ghost of an emotion that once reigned.

As my thoughts rattled through me his gaze turned to mine, our eyes staring deep into each others as I continued to sit on the ledge. His body leaned closer, his hands reaching out. Normally I would have pulled away, but for some reason I couldn't no matter the anger that still fizzled. I could give him this because I couldn't give him anything more. I let him touch me, let him put his hand around my waist as my own hand rested against his neck, brushing through his hair as I tried to find the words to counteract the loving unsure look in his eye. He needed an answer. _We _needed an answer before this grey fog we found ourselves in guided us to dangerous places.

"I have missed you, Edward, and I can't lie and say that having you back in my life hasn't affected me too... but these distractions you speak of must stop. I will always love you, but only as a friend. That is all we can be." I urged him to understand but his gaze dropped from mine with a defeated gulp.

It was silent, the only things that was auditable was the wind brushing against our ears and the river flowing below us. We were silent, my fingers running over the defined lines over his face, which all included his jaw line, all the way to the lining of his cheek bones.

Eventually he nodded slightly as he pulled away, and I knew his own guilt was falling over him. I wondered if it was because he was ashamed to have confessed so much or whether he was thinking of Bella. He loved her. She was probably worried sick about him right now. Her mind wondering of what could have happened. But she probably knew in the back of her mind of where he was at. I knew that jealousy all too well.

"Is it so wrong for me to think the way I do?" He asked quietly, raising an eyebrow. I let out a deep breath, shrugging. I honestly couldn't tell him how I felt because I just didn't know.

"I can stand the way Aslo looks at you." His voice was hard, and I couldn't help but laugh as I shook my head.

"It's not funny!" He chuckled angrily, not wanting to get mad but was annoyed at my reaction, "Isn't this how you feel when I'm with Bella?"

I immediately dropped my eyes because here he was telling me what he felt within yet if I were to do the same I couldn't say what would come out. I didn't know how I felt when I saw him with Bella. I knew the two of them were right so I couldn't find it in me to feel cheated or denied something that was rightfully mine. However, that being said, there was something that sizzled in my veins and it wasn't a pleasant feeling. It brought memories of me and him, of the days we were happy, of the days when I wasn't and the reasons why. It made me think of the day I saw Bella at the hospital and the way her once pretty innocence then seemed sickly sweet to me. Did I resent her? If I did, was it because she had Edward, because she left Renee, or because she hadn't endured the things I had? That she was still perfect while I was damaged goods?

I bit my lip as the riddles raced through my mind. Meanwhile his golden eyes stared right into mine as if he was trying to figure out what I was thinking, even though he knew he would never again be able to hear me. His eyes became soft then as he looked upon my body as if I was just as helpless as I was when I was human. His fingers ran up my face, gripping my chin as he stared as if he had found what he was looking for.

I couldn't say what he had found in my silence because I didn't know what I was hiding myself. Yet as always with Edward I let the sensation of his touch and the heat of his eyes silence my mind. My body gently leaned up, our faces becoming closer as we stared. I didn't know what was happening, but there was a spark, a connection that flew between us as we stared deep into each other's eyes. It was as if we found what we have been looking for, whether it was friendship, comfort, or something more. I wasn't set to define it.

"I don't want to lose you again." He gulped, his fingers falling from my chin. I shook my head as I pressed my palms to his cheeks.

"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." I promised, leaning forward as slowly as possible before pressing an elegant kiss to his cheek, letting it linger there for as long as it could. It wasn't only me who was hurt from his absence. He missed me just as much as I had missed him. There was an open wound on his heart just like there was on mine. And no matter how much has gone on, no matter how much it should be wrong to feel it, we both needed each other. We needed the comfort we gave each other. We were meant to be together, as lovers reincarnated as friends**.**

**Do you think Edward will settle for being friends? Do you think Sarelle will open up to him about what her life has been like? Did Sarelle act the way you thought she would in this meeting?**

**Thanks for reading. Previews available as always. x**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

_Thank you for the reviews! We've skipped forward a couple of months as you'll see by the date. For any of you trying to actually keep these dates straight in your mind, don't worry about it. I only put them there to keep myself on track and stop myself from running ahead. We're slowly moving forward and hopefully I'll get to speed things up a bit soon. Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter and I hope you'll let me know what you think._

_1st October 2047_

The weeks passed by, each seamlessly running into the next, and with the racing of time Edward and I found ourselves caught in a spiral of visits that became as regular as the passing days.

We kept our moments together as something only we knew. It was a decision born not of dirt or guilt, but instead a simple fact that whatever we were, whatever we had, would never be left alone if the others ever found out. I was glad for the privacy because I, myself, couldn't define what was going on between us, so I didn't want others injecting their opinions.

Our relationship wasn't the only one to develop. I had noticed the way Aslo and Tanya looked at each other. And I had unwillingly heard the way they were together on one unfortunate night when I hadn't escaped in time. I was glad Aslo had finally found someone to share himself with but I couldn't lie and say I didn't miss my old friend. It was just another thing that was changing in my life, like the leaves changed for autumn and the tides changed from day to day. Now it was time for the relationships in my life to weather and alter to suit the way things were now.

I smiled at this notion as I lay looking up at the stars by the cliff.

"I was not weird," Edward protested as I giggled.

"Fine, perhaps weird was the wrong way of putting it. You were frustratingly aloof. All that business about consequences." Edward grunted before snorting and producing laughter of his own. It wasn't a regular topic but our old relationship was a comfortable one.

"I frustrated _you_? I was completely out of my depth. You were the most stubborn girl I'd ever met."

"Or so you thought," I said as I turned to him and grinned.

His eyes softened and I watched enamoured as his hand tentatively reached out and his finger lightly traced the swell of my cheek under my eyes.

"You still have that fire," he murmured as he studied my eyes. I smiled quietly as I thought of the gold I used to have in my eyes. It was still gold now, but it wasn't how it used to be. My new eyes were meant to be golden, it was only through jumping that they had achieved the hazel and gold blend. To me it was an ugly mimic.

His hands left my face and we returned to watching the clouds pass over the sky, hiding the pinpricks of white light for a moment before revealing them once again.

"We rarely did this," I whispered as a breath of wind skated over my skin.

"There were other things to do."

"I watched so many sunsets when I was human. I don't think I ever really appreciated how beautiful the night could be." I sighed.

"You never just sat and watched stars when you were human? Not in all your seventeen years?" Edward seemed shocked maybe even disappointed by the news.

"I did it at least once. I think. With Dylan." I smiled at the memory of that night. It was a happy night, as good as they got.

"Dylan? Bella's stepbrother?" I chuckled lightly at the curiosity peaking Edward's voice.

"Yes, that Dylan. I was seventeen, I think. We climbed onto the roof and took photographs of the moon and the stars, and it was lovely. _He _was lovely."

"Did you care for him? As more than a friend?"

"I think maybe I did, in some way. At least I could see, if I was normal, that he could have been someone more than a friend to me." Somehow it didn't feel strange to tell Edward this, to confess I had cared for others in my life beyond him. We were friends after all, and friends shared those kinds of things.

It was quiet and soon I heard Edward shift as he sat up. I looked to see his eyes burning out to the horizon, a question seemingly poised on his lips.

"Edward?"

"There is something I want to ask, or at least feel drawn to ask, but I'm not sure how."

I lifted myself so I sat beside him, my head tilted to see his expression. His hand ran through his hair as he frowned and pressed his lips together.

"I have only ever loved two people in my life. You and Bella. When I married her I gave her everything I could. We have each only ever had each other." He struggled.

"I think I can see where this is leading." I shifted uncomfortably as he fiddled with his fingers. Tonight he had remembered his wedding ring.

"You say you cared for Dylan, were involved with him to an extent. Were there others?" he whispered almost unwillingly, and I saw how his jaw clenched as he stared straight ahead of him.

"For you to have been with only Bella is a wonderful thing, Edward. Beautiful really. But you are right to believe that was not a road I chose to walk." He swallowed thickly, and I watched his fingertips curl into the ground, burying into the soil.

"It was always meant to be you. From the moment I first thought of it I wanted it to be you, but when that became an impossibility I chose what made me as happy as I could be."

"Who was he?"

"A friend, someone who cared about me. Not Dylan, but a man I knew from my time in New York." Memories of my time with Jimmy O'Connell flashed through my mind. He was my first, and only, intimate encounter when I was human, my Irish bartender with that warm, cheeky smile.

"Did you love him?"

"No but I don't regret it. And I don't regret any of the others." I felt my stomach churn with shame as I watched Edward continue to stare ahead of him. I had never truly felt guilt or immorality over my choices. However it hurt that he didn't look at me. It made me feel like I had done something to be ashamed of. The only reason why I didn't cower from him was because I was my own person. I had met and shared myself with those men because it was my choice to do so. I had felt empowered and wanted by them and that was nothing to be ashamed of. When I thought of Tanya and Kate and the way they talked about their once chosen lifestyle I never heard an ounce of uncertainty or self doubt. Why should this man, Edward, make me feel any different to how I had always felt?

I pulled his arm to get him to look at me. Perhaps my grip was rougher than it needed to be but the shame I had initially felt was turning to anger.

"I'm a woman, Edward. You've said it before. I'm not the same girl I was in Belmore. It is my life and my body and I will not have you judging me for the choices I have made regarding it," I said callously as he watched me with torment in his eyes.

"I know," he said quietly as his gaze dropped before returning to mine. "I'm not judging you. I would never do that. I just feel...I love Bella, but talking with you and hearing about the things you have seen and done...I can't help this stagnant feeling. Sometimes I wonder—"

I gawped as he watched me with whatever words he was going to say halted in his throat. When he frowned and cast his eyes down I gripped his shoulder firmly.

"Edward, it takes much more depth to stay faithful to one person. To have faith that they will be enough for you. It's not deep to sleep with a man just because of the way it feels, so please don't make it seem any more than it is." I scoffed, shaking my head at his ridiculous ways.

His mouth opened as if to say something but closed sharply and his lips mashed together in a thin line.

We sat there in silence until I felt restlessness stir me. I had been gone longer than I should have and I knew for a fact that such an absence would be noticed. Even in a house where each of the couples are preoccupied with each other, it doesn't go unnoticed if you dally away for longer than usual.

"I have to go," I murmured as I reached over and kissed his cheek before rising.

I took one final look at him staring out over the horizon, his legs hanging over the cliff top and his hands folded in his lap. With the image of him in my mind I ran for home and hoped I could sneak by undetected and unquestioned.

I had no such luck. As soon as I stepped into my room I saw Aslo perched on the edge of my bed. His face lifted from staring at the floor and when his eyes met mine I saw the suspicions there.

"Where have you been?" he asked as I slipped my shoes off my feet.

"I found this lovely little clearing, just on the cliffs to the north—" I started as I went to my drawers and flitted through the clothes there to gather my toiletries so I could take a shower. "—It's beautiful, really. So peaceful. You can see for miles, and the sky was so clear tonight. Did you see it? The stars looked lovely." I continued as I flashed a glance back at him and went to shut the cupboard which held my towels. His eyes watched me intently and they ignited with fire when I shut the door behind me, sending a waft of my scent towards him.

"You were with _him_. Edward. I smell him all over you," he spat with distaste.

"It's a forest, Aslo, I can hardly place a lock and chain around it." I smirked as I headed to the bathroom, but his hand shot out in front of me and stopped me from opening the door.

"You're a vampire, Sarelle, a lock and chain isn't the only way to avoid him."

"I don't want to avoid him," I said quietly as I shrunk away from his hard sarcasm.

"I knew it." He growled and turned away from me while I followed him with the hope my words would calm him, make him see reason. "Aslo, don't. It's fine. I'm fine."

He spun in an instant. "Have you forgotten it all? The years of hurt? The way he forgot about you, moved on?"

Those words stung and I looked down at my hands before casting a glance at the locked drawer that held the photo album and diary.

"I told you, I made him promise."

"If I found one I loved as you say he loved you, then no mere promise would keep me away." I looked up at him, drawn by the fervour of his rough voice. "I would do anything for them. Give up _anything_." He stated with a passion that seem to burn from his toffee eyes as he watched me.

"You don't know that for sure. You've never felt that way, Aslo. You don't understand," I murmured sceptically, pivoting my body back to the bathroom door and holding my towel folded neatly in my arms.

"Of course," he muttered bitterly. "Aslo, the heartless vampire who could never possibly understand how it feels to love someone."

I spun instantly and glared at him for thinking that was what I meant.

"I didn't mean it like that. You're not heartless and I would never think of you that way." He raised an eyebrow callously until his glare softened at the touch of my hand on his upper arm. "You just haven't found the one for you yet. You don't know what it's like, that feeling that you no longer exist, just them."

He just looked at me and in his eyes I saw something so deep, so fervent that I was shocked to never have noticed it before. It was calling to me, yet I found myself floundering for what it meant. I felt my hand slowly stroke down his arm as I stare questioningly into his eyes. As soon as those questions showed in my gaze I saw that passionate depth fall from view. Instead it was replaced by resolution.

"Does he make you happy?" Aslo asked.

"Yes."

"And what of Bella? The family? That girl of theirs?" he continued as his hand took mine from his arm and held it.

"We talk, Aslo. We spend time together. We're friends. Nothing more. We both know that." I pulled my hand from his and played with the ring that sat upon it. There was something in the truth of my words that disappointed me.

"But how long before just talking isn't enough." Aslo asked as his head tilted and a faint querying frown creased his brow. "When you want a relationship he can't give you."

I dropped my head as I realised that the thought of that possibility scared me. I bit my lip before I sucked in a breath and raised my head up high in defiance. "That won't happen".

Aslo smirked and a faint disbelieving chuckle left him before he gave me the same look he would always give me. That look of friendship and concern. "I hope this doesn't end in tears, Sarelle. For your sake."

* * *

Aslo's words had hit me harder than I thought. They still rang in my head days after so that now, as I sat with Ren, I felt my mind drifting back to rewind the moment over and over. Every time I battled the urge to wince. Aslo and I had argued plenty of times. Many would think we had a rather volatile relationship given the extent of our past arguments, but for the majority we had forgiven each other our faults and carried on almost instantly. However, for whatever reason, this time Aslo had maintained his disappointment and it was upsetting me more than I ever thought it would.

"Anyway, I was thinking that if Dad is about tonight I might practice that kick you taught me. It seems like he's hardly ever around now, but I think it's because everything with Grandpa Charlie is just taking its toll," Ren continued from her conversation as I zoned back in only to smile briefly and squirm at the mention of Edward's absences.

I hadn't told Ren about mine and Edward's past, and it seemed he hadn't either. Nor had he seemed to mention that it was me he was visiting when he went wandering off. It was funny how even though I should be concerned that he was keeping our meetings secret, I actually was relieved at the knowledge. I had only told Aslo and that wasn't by choice. I didn't want Ren to know. I didn't want any of the Cullens to know either. I didn't know why, but for some reason there was a voice in my head telling me that hidden and secret was best.

"How is your mum coping?" I asked half-heartedly. I wasn't particularly interested in how Bella was feeling but there was part of me—the orphaned child—that knew it was hard losing your parents. Even if they were old and grey.

"She visits Forks a lot, and La Push. Jacob's very upset about it as well. Grandpa Charlie was very close to his family. He has been ever since Jacob and Mom were little." Ren played with the grass in front of her crossed legs and fell silent. Or course she was losing her last living grandparent, that would have to hurt just as much as Bella losing her father.

"Jacob and your mother are very close, it's quite unusual for a vampire and a werewolf," I said curiously and it did the job of distracting Ren. I may not have cared much for her mother or her feelings but I cared about Ren.

"They were best friends before she was changed. Jacob phased for the first time about a year before mom was changed. He hated dad before that."

I smirked at how typical that was. Aslo was a prime example. "Best friends always seem to act that way around partners."

I paused when I realised I had just related mine and Edward's relationship to a partnership, a lover's bond. Luckily Ren didn't seem to notice.

"Anyway, mom and dad got married and then she got pregnant and I was born and Jacob imprinted and voila!" she said with a grin before playing with her wedding ring, watching the way it shone in the light. I wondered if she was truly married, or if—like Bella and Edward and the others—it was just a show.

"You're very lucky," I said vaguely. If Jacob hadn't imprinted how would it have all turned out?

"I know," Ren replied wistfully. She probably thought I meant to find Jacob in the world.

Her chocolate eyes looked up at me intently as she moved to lie on her stomach while I rested back on my hands in the sunshine. "So, how come you're not with Aslo? I thought you two were an item but he seems to be playing around with Tanya."

"Everyone seems to have that initial impression but Aslo and I have never been together that way."

"But you've known each other for so long." Ren gasped as if enough time together meant you would automatically end up together.

"Probably too long." I smirked as I thought of all our bickering.

"What's he like?" Ren asked with interest. "I mean, Carlisle and Alice think he's wonderful. In fact, the only person who doesn't really like him is dad...and mum but I think she just doesn't like him that much because he's your friend."

I sighed wearily when she mentioned Bella. I had apologised but she was clearly still holding a grudge. One bonus was that at least her sour feelings meant I didn't have to pretend to be friends.

"From what I had heard Isabella wasn't known for holding grudges," I commented coolly.

"She doesn't hate you or anything. She just doesn't know you that well. And I guess that whole thing you said about family affected her more than it normally would. You know, because of everything with Charlie." Ren dropped her head as she finished justifying her mother's actions.

I decided a change in subject was in order. "So you want to know about Aslo Finn," I said with a smile and was rewarded by Ren's avid attention. That was how we ended our small defence lesson, whiling away the last few hours of sunlight with me regaling stories of Aslo and Ren listening in rapture.

By the time I got home it was dark, and as I passed into the living room from the back door I saw Tanya lounging on the sofa while Aslo sat with his sketch book in front of him.

Tanya was smiling gleefully at him, not in the way she did with the human boys in the town but in a way that was real.

"Sarelle, how's Nessie?" Tanya called.

"She's fine. A little upset about Charlie," I said with a faint smile as I looked between her and Aslo. He still hadn't turned around and the tension I felt coming from him was enough to make me feel awkward.

They looked so much like a couple that it wasn't just his tense posture that put me off going any closer. It was like I was shut out and that was a sad reality. I was the only single person out of the whole group and it was strange because I thought I wouldn't be so bothered by that fact after 150 years. But I was.

Tanya moved and waved me over so I edged past Aslo while Tanya smiled between us.

Aslo gave me a stiff nod in greeting before altering a line on the basic sketch he had done of Tanya.

"You should join us. Aslo could draw the both of us," Tanya proposed persuasively.

Before I could give an answer Aslo spoke. "Sarelle probably has other places to be."

Tanya's puzzled eyes met mine and I nodded with a faint smile before leaving them to go to my room.

As I slumped on my bed I noticed Aslo had moved his things out of my room. That realisation stabbed at me causing me to hold my head in my hands.

It felt like the drawer with my diary and photo album was glaring at me, screaming my mistakes, my confusion. I couldn't think why Aslo was acting this way, and what's more it hurt because I missed him as if he had never come back. On top of that my mind was still foggy on my feelings for Edward, which then led back to Aslo and why he seemed to dislike Edward so much. My head was a mess and it was all the fault of these two men who were both an important part of my life. I wanted this transition to be easy, but now I could feel something within that's saying it never will be and that the coming future will be a very rocky road.

**What do you think to Edward's reaction of hearing Sarelle was with other men? Do you think Renesmee has any idea what is going on? Will Aslo forgive Sarelle? Any ideas why he's reacted the way he has?**

**Thanks for reading. Previews available as always. x**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

_**A/N: **How long has it been? Probably months rather than weeks since the last update. There are really any excuses, or at least there's not one singular reason to blame. RL just decided to team up with writers block to stop this chapter from being written. Hopefully the next won't take as long. Keep the reviews coming, teasers given out if you want them. :)_

5th October 2047

It was a lazy afternoon and I found myself once again at the Cullen's home, a place I had spent more and more of my time at since seeing Alice and Jasper in town all those months ago. It also helped that Aslo spent most of his time back at the Denali house with Tanya. He and I hadn't talked properly since our disagreement.

"I wish they'd stop this trend of high necklines. It's so unflattering," Rosalie grumbled as she flicked through another magazine. We had been shopping early as I had met Rosalie and Alice after they finished school. Our mission was to find dresses for the hospital function Carlisle had organised and invited both families to.

"It's the clinical look, Rose. Clean lines, angular styles. I personally love it. It's so theatrical." Alice enthused. She was currently working on stitching metallic beading on the petite waist of her dress.

"Of course you like it. You're all petite and pixie-like. On me it looks far too matronly." Rose huffed, throwing the magazine towards me like we had done for the past hour.

"Your dress is hardly matronly. It's the lowest backed dress I've ever seen. Just because the neck is high doesn't do anything to detract from the amount of skin you've got on show." I teased as Rose smirked.

"Well, if you've got it. You may as well flaunt it."

"I hope Bella likes hers." Alice worried a little as she cast an eye to the simple midnight blue dress hanging on the back of the door. It was designed to be much fitted with a high collar that was cut to reveal a thin but deep slice of skin at the front. It was more conservative that Rosalie's choice and simpler than Alice's.

"What's not to like?" I said, brightening Alice's smile.

"She's not too keen on tight fitting clothes, but whether she likes it or not, she'll end up wearing it." She grinned mischievously. I knew all too well that Alice inevitably got her way.

There was a loud bang as the back door closed and soon Emmett and Aslo came through covered in mud. Tanya was obviously busy with other things.

"I'm going to remember that move. Can't believe I didn't see it coming." Emmett roared as he grinned and clapped Aslo on the back, sending mud our way.

I'd never seen Aslo so dirty or untidy. It was strange to think he was the same person as he laughed quietly beside Emmett.

"You didn't do too badly yourself. The use of that tree was quite ingenious."

"Pfft that was nothing compared to that move you did. If that had been a real fight I would have been dead three times over...Or at least deader." The two of them laughed as we three women watched with smiles on our faces.

Aslo caught my eye and his smile faded a little as he turned to Emmett.

"I actually learnt that last one from Sarelle."

Emmett's surprised eyes turned to me with a wicked glint. "Oh really?"

"Yes, she's a lot stronger than you think. A fact I sometimes forget." In that sentence I heard his apology and I knew that we'd be OK again. I just wished I knew how we had gone wrong in the first place.

Meanwhile Emmett's surprise had turned to calculation. "Our little Sarelle? She doesn't seem all that tough."

"You forget, Em, I'm not so little anymore. In fact I'm older than you, remember," I said with a smirk.

"Nah, you're just my little big sis, is'all. Bet you couldn't hurt a fly." He teased with a wink and I rolled my eyes at his attempt to rile me.

"Em, we don't have time for you and Sarelle to destroy a bit more of the forest. We're in the middle of a very important task," Alice piped up.

"And what would that be. Looks like just a load of scraps of material and magazines to me." Em teased as Alice pouted irritably. She did not like anyone dismissing her precious clothes as 'scraps of material.'

"So I take it you girls have been shopping," Aslo commented as he looked over Bella's dress with a slightly bored expression. He never was one for fashion.

"Well we could hardly go to the function in something we'd already worn," Alice said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"How silly of me. Did Bella not go with you?"

"She and Edward are away at their cottage in Forks," Rosalie said over the top her magazine, slapping Emmett away when he tried to plant a muddy kiss on her face.

Aslo cast a glance at me but I made sure there was nothing but a smile on my face. Although it was weaker than I had hoped. For some reason the idea of them playing happy families bothered me. Was he just acting to keep Bella happy? Or had all those passing comments he'd made been lies? He'd always said he loved Bella but surely I couldn't have imagined the passive boredom that sometimes appeared in his voice.

"Have you got Tanya's dress there also?" Aslo asked.

"Sure." Alice produced one of the many designer bags that held Tanya's dress. It seemed when Alice was around no one really had a choice in what they wore.

"I think I'll go take it to her." Aslo reached for the bag but Alice held onto it undecidedly.

"Hmm, I don't think you should get to see her in it before the event."

"I don't think a fashion show will be the choice of activity, Alice." Em added as me and Rose snickered.

"Now, now, Emmett. A gentleman never tells," Aslo said with a wink. "Good thing I'm not much of a gentleman." Then he vanished out the door. It was that moment I made the decision that I wouldn't be returning to the Denali house for a good few hours.

As it turned out that decision wasn't necessary as Alice insisted I stayed and got ready with her and Rosalie. She claimed that she was so used to having a third person around that she wouldn't be able to achieve fashionable greatness with just the two of them. I'd agreed with a smile and hung my dress beside hers and Rosalie's before taking myself off to the guest bathroom beside Alice and Jasper's room.

Having a shower had always been one of my favourite activities, even when I was human. I had loved the warmth that flowed over my skin even then. Now it was so much better because it could almost feel like you were human again. The way the water ran down my limbs felt like the veins beneath my skin were no longer dead and frozen.

I tried not to waste too much time standing under the water; I knew Alice would be itching to get started. With a sigh of satisfaction I turned off the water and stepped out of the steam.

I wrapped one of the big fluffy towels around myself and swept my hair back from my face where it had stuck to my skin. With the towel firmly in place I left the bathroom and headed for Alice's room. I had to admit there was a little apprehension as to what would lie beyond her door; I never knew what Alice would have in store for me. At least I had bought my own dress, even if it had taken much persuasion to make Alice allow me.

"Sarelle?" I spun at the sound of my name.

"Edward, I thought you were..." I floundered as I tried to fight off the shock and embarrassment of seeing Edward while I had nothing but a towel on. It didn't help that Bella was standing right beside him, eyeing me with mild distain. I thought I also detected a hint of suspicion which is probably fair given that in her eyes Edward and I hadn't seen each other in months.

"We've just returned," he answered stiffly.

"Edward we should leave Sarelle. She's not exactly dressed for conversation, and Alice is probably waiting for her."

I glanced at Bella, seeing her anxiousness to be somewhere away from me, then turned to nod a goodbye to Edward.

"I guess we'll see each other at Carlisle's event tonight."

Edward opened his mouth to answer but Bella was quicker. "Maybe."

With that we parted. Bella's arms firmly wrapped around Edward's, and mine firmly clutching my towel.

Even though they whispered, and even though I shouldn't have been listening, I couldn't help but hear their conversation as they turned away into their room at the end of the corridor.

"Why don't we stay in tonight, everyone is going to that benefit. We could have the house to ourselves," Bella purred seductively.

"We've had all day to ourselves, Bella. We should go tonight, show our support," Edward reasoned, seeming to ignore or not recognise the tone of his wife's voice.

"It's just a silly human thing, Edward. There'll be others."

"I would prefer to go," he said firmly before his voice softened. "But if you rather stay here I'm sure Jacob would be happy to keep you company. He never enjoys these kinds of events."

"If you want to go, I'll go."

After Bella's resignation I shook my head to clear it. I shouldn't have listened to them. I had no right to. So as Alice called me over to the vanity set I told myself that I would never eavesdrop again.

When my hair was dried, my dress was on, and it was only me, Alice, and Jasper waiting in the big Cullen house for the Denalis and Aslo to arrive, I felt that all too familiar realisation that tonight would be another night of me being terribly aware of my single status. It felt like such a shallow thing to think about, but it was times like these that it came to me, usually as a heavy, tense feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I stopped twisting my ring around my finger and in the process ordered myself to stop berating myself. Tonight was to celebrate the hospitals good work and in turn hopefully make it a little extra money for the specialised paediatric wing Carlisle had proposed.

He and Esme had left with the rest of the Cullens, or at least I had assumed Bella and Edward had gone because I had stuck to my earlier promise and shut off any impulse I had to follow their movements.

"Sarelle, the cars are here," Jasper said as he put a calming palm on my bare shoulder.

I nodded, replacing my blank stare with a smile. Tonight would be a good night. And I repeated that all the way there as the others sat blissfully in their pairs.

* * *

There had been no sight of Edward since we arrived. Not that I had been looking for him, and nor did I look for him as I went with Jasper and Alice to join Emmett, Rosalie, Aslo and Tanya who had travelled in separate cars. Alice and I made light conversation about the dresses of the women around us, who had chosen well and others who hadn't. She even agreed that, just this once, relinquishing control of my outfit had been a good idea.

As I talked I watched Aslo from across the group. He stood proud in his expensive black suit and green satin shirt. The colours were perfect on him, especially the way the green set off the dark red hues in his hair. It was always moments like these, when he was dressed up in all his finery, that I looked at him and saw he was more than just Aslo my friend. It was as if, seeing him with Tanya's arm linked with his, and an easy smile on his lips, he became man deserving of more than just friendly smiles.

His eyes met mine and I cleared my throat before looking away. I hadn't realised I'd been staring, not that Aslo seemed to mind. Of course he never would. He was similar to Rosalie in that respect. He didn't curse his good looks or see them as a flaw. In some ways he relished them.

I watched as he left Tanya's side and motioned for me to join him at the bar, a concept that seemed foreign given we didn't drink. His arm went easily around my waist, resting his fingertips on the band of bare skin that ran uncovered around my back.

"You look quite beautiful tonight _Kvetina_," he said lowly as we stopped at the sleek ebony bar.

"Thank you, I was a little nervous about the dress. I'm not quite used to this way of dress." I smoothed the olive material down on my hips. It clung to my figure all the way down to my knees and had a simple square neckline. It was the just as simple as Bella's dress had been but I had dared to venture down Rosalie's path with two thick bands at the back cut to reveal my pale skin.

From the way Aslo's hand rested easily against my bare waist I could only think he approved of my decision. I felt my nerves relax whilst he leant to ask the stunned barman for two glass of merlot.

"I haven't seen Edward or Bella here tonight," he said casually or at least his attempt at casual.

"Oh? I wouldn't know. I came with Alice and Jasper remember." I raised an eyebrow as he continued to stare at me. With a sigh he moved his hand through is loosely waved hair.

"I thought you were over this whole Edward thing anyway?" I asked while he watched me with deep, wise eyes.

"I've come to understand it better, to accept it, for your sake. But that's not to say I like it."

"Well, I don't know if he's coming tonight, but if he is then I hope you will behave yourself. For me." I pleaded until he eventually nodded his head in ascent.

He removed his hand from my waist and turned to face me as he handed me one of the large glasses with a smirk on his face. My eyes widened as I let out a soft laugh.

"It's for show," he told me, smiling over at some of the humans.

"It smells ghastly."

"Yes it does, doesn't it." He confirmed as his nose wrinkled slightly. "Well, ladies first." His tawny eyes glinted as his smiled at me over the edge of his glass. The liquid within swirled against the glass, reflecting slightly in his eyes. He looked like the devil incarnate at that moment but I couldn't help but feel a smirk form on my face. It was fun to back on the right side of this devil. I had missed his influence far more than I had expected.

My head tilted and I sought his hand which lay tucked in his trouser pocket. "I never thought I'd see you like this," I murmured as Aslo's eyes held mine.

"No, I didn't think I would ever be standing waiting to see you try a vintage merlot either."

"You know that wasn't what I meant." I scolded playfully as I nudged his shoulder. "I've known you for over a hundred years and in all that time I never thought we would end up here. Look at us, we're in a room full of humans, you've found Alice, we're friends with the Cullens, we've achieved the vegetarian lifestyle, you're in love with Tanya. I don't think I ever imagined that we could have all of this."

I pulled my eyes back to his after scanning through the room, taking in just how far we'd come. He was still gazing at Tanya before he realised I was looking back at him.

"So I think it deserves a toast." I grinned as I held the glass up to my lips. I looked at it, gagging just slightly as I took in a whiff of it. Aslo laughed, shaking his head but raising his glass all the same. I finally took a sip of it, letting it roll fast down my throat so I wouldn't have to experience its disgusting taste for that long. I kept a straight face though, for those wondering eyes. I held it lightly away from my mouth while a chill ran up my spine.

Aslo handled his sip with a lot more grace than I did but nonetheless I saw the way his lips pressed together to stop a grimace appearing.

"I should probably let you get back to Tanya before she thinks I've stolen you."

We travelled back to the small group of vampires among the humans. Aslo's hand never left my side as he stood beside Tanya who linked her arm with his and placed a kiss on his cheek.

Ren came around the corner with Jacob's arm around her waist, the two of them joining our group quickly. Ren and I talked about how she has been taking piano lessons, and how she would love to show me sometime. I of course accepted her request just before I turned my head to see Carlisle on top of the staircase talking to some humans who seemed to be involved with the hospital board. I pressed my hand against Aslo with a smile just before looking to him, "I'll be right back." I said, knowing he'd be alright considering him and Jake had chosen to ignore each other. I swept a piece of stray hair away from my face and back into the loose twist as I went up the stairs.

"Carlisle." I said as the humans passed me down the stairs.

"Sarelle," Carlisle mused happily. Carlisle's blond hair was slicked back as he stood in his tuxedo. As I reached the top step, I gave him a tender hug just before pulling away.

"This is a wonderful event, reminds me of those we used to go to in Chicago," I said softly, lacing my fingers together and looking over the crowd.

"Yes it's nice to organise something like this. It seems most humans prefer to stand in a dark room with loud music, just relying on their actions to social with others. I miss this kind of evening, and I'm glad it's going so well. I have managed to raise almost the full amount needed for the new wing." We walked slowly down the stairs as we talked.

"That's wonderful news, and please let me know if there's anything I can do to help."

"Actually there is, I wanted to talk to you about your music," He said.

"Of course." I nodded, looking back to him, "What about it?"

"Well see, I was hoping you'd grace us with a performance as Aslo says you still play often." He mused on, as the chattering from downstairs didn't bother us one bit, "I know we would all love to hear you, it's been so long since we last did."

"Of course." I said, letting out a soft laugh, "You don't even have to ask, Carlisle. Of course I'll do it."

"Thank you, so much. We can pay you as well, you would be part of the entertainment, obviously," he said, but I quickly shook my head.

"No, none of that. I'd love to do it for free." I smiled.

"Are you sure?" He asked quizzically.

"Yes, you are all like family to me. I wouldn't let you pay me." I smiled just before feeling his hand against my back.

"Thank you so much, Sarelle," he answered simply just before we started to chat about the everyday things that wouldn't draw any attention if one of the human guests passed close by.

Finally Carlisle had to bid me farewell to go talk to more of his guests. As he was submerged amongst the sea of human bodies, I could see Bella entering from the main room off through the archway, and not far behind her was Edward. Bella, in the beautiful dress Alice had bought, quickly went to Ren's side, Edward not far off behind her. Edward was stopped by a human who began talking to him about who they had hired to do the decorations, and how they could get the number. I cleared my throat, loud enough for him to hear me but not enough for the humans to notice. Edward looked up, taking a double take as his eyes widened. If I could blush, I'd be doing it by now.

At this point, Edward was just mumbling to the man, trying to get him to stop talking as I began descending the rest of the stairs slowly. Finally Edward said, "Would you excuse me for a moment?" Just before he walked past him, standing at the last step. He didn't even seem to care where Bella was, or if he did he wasn't showing it.

I made it to the second to last step, smiling softly as he grabbed my hand to bring it to his lips, kissing the surface of my hand just before looking up to me and smiling, "Hello," he whispered, sending shivers up my spine.

"Well look who it is," I answered as he let go of my hand, a smile still spread across his lips. I smiled as well as I stepped down on the last step by his side, his eyes looking down and back up.

"You look beautiful," he said as he set his palm on the small of my back, touching the skin that was exposed.

"And you look quite dashing," I whispered as I gazed into his eyes. Edward smirked just before, his hand pressed a little tighter to my back, bringing me closer so our chests were almost touching. I gulped slightly as I looked up to him, noticing that he was staring down at my neck, and then back up to my eyes. I ignored the part of me that was ordering me to step away, saying that friends didn't act this way.

"You're breath-taking," he murmured just before I giggled, looking away. Friends could say that to one another, couldn't they?

"Stop," I said, biting down onto my bottom lip.

"But you are. It is not a sin to state a fact." He smiled just before gathering my hands up. My breathing hitched but he quickly let go of my hands, stepping back just before Aslo had turned the corner.

"Sarelle…" Aslo said calmly, but mildly disapprovingly. I smiled at him, seeing he was making his way over. His body moved a little closer towards me while his eyes stayed fixed straight on Edward as he stiffened slightly.

"Hello, Edward," Aslo said with a polite but cool tone.

"Aslo," Edward replied, but didn't even take a glance at him, and instead just smiled at me.

"Edward." Carlisle said strictly, all of us looking over to him, "Come."

I could see the resentment in Edward's eyes, but he quickly covered it as he smiled to both of us, "If you excuse me, I must attend to my father. But enjoy yourselves."

"We will. Thank you," Aslo said protectively, and I had to roll my eyes. Edward smiled to me just before turning around to walk in the direction Carlisle was at.

"I told you to behave," I said, looking to Aslo.

"And I did. I didn't rip him to shreds, did I? I was very cordial. Considering the disregard he was showing," he answered simply, but I knew it was a lie. I quickly turned my body to look at him, my eyebrows cocking as I shook my head.

"What do you mean 'the disregard he was showing'?"

"Acting that way so close to the family. I may actually like the boy if he treated you with the respect you deserve rather than risking your honour in such a stupid manner."

"My honour?" I smirked.

"Yes, your honour." Aslo replied as he smiled crookedly and leant towards me.

"Come on." I grabbed his hand as I pushed him through the crowd to where everyone was milling around in the main room. The room was big and large with an elegant, polish parquet floor which was the designated dance floor. The decorations added glitz and glamour to nearly every surface and I knew Alice and Esme must have been the ones to arrange them.

I noticed Carlisle across room and when he briefly indicated the now vacant piano I smiled and passed through the crowd towards it.

I settled down on the bench and lifted the cover off the keys with the respect and gentle touch such a beautiful instrument deserved.

I watched as I noticed the vampires in the room turned to watch me as I began to play. The song was a blend I'd created one night back when. I couldn't think what made me decide to play it. Perhaps it was because for now I was happier than I had ever been. Even though things weren't perfect, there was still a warm contentment that filled me when I thought about how I lived now.

The crowd began to part into couples as 'Wonderful World' played from the keys, morphing into a mellow version of Liebestraum by Franz Lizt. The dreamy notes filled the space and seemed to create an atmosphere that was soft and tranquil.

As I played I watched the Cullens take to the dance floor, each twirling gracefully. Tanya and Aslo joined them, with Tanya urging her other family members to take to the dance floor as well. Soon the humans followed, although they were much more hesitant than the vampires who were the embodiment of grace. I avoided watching the way Edward expertly moved Bella around the room. It wasn't that I couldn't face it, or even that it brought back painful memories. It just put my off balance. Watching them disrupted something within. I couldn't name it but I didn't like the disturbance so I kept my eyes away.

I continued my playing until the clock hit midnight and the guests started to depart. The next to go was Ren and Jacob, shortly followed by the rest of the Cullens. Since I was to be travelling back with the Denalis I stayed behind with them rather than sharing the ride with Jasper and Alice. I was in the mood for the run back. I was still sitting at the piano when I heard footsteps coming towards me across the floor. I glanced up to see Aslo without Tanya.

He must have seen my puzzled expression because he soon explained. "She said she didn't want to risk ruining her dress, so she's gone back with the others in the Mercedes."

"It _was _a very nice dress."

There was a pause as Aslo watched the human owner turn off the lights and tell us he would be closing up soon.

"You played wonderfully tonight," he said as he stood beside the piano.

"Thank you."

"But of course being the musician means you don't get to truly enjoy the music." He stepped towards me and took my hand, pulling me up from the piano bench.

"Aslo, we're supposed to be leaving. We might not need to sleep but that poor man does."

For all my reasoning I followed him to the middle of the dance floor and held his hand in mine while his hand rested on my waist.

"He can last the length of a dance."

"There's no music," I argued as I grinned at him.

"Pfft, a small glitch." He started to hum a nondescript tune as he started to move.

It was moments like these that made me love my friend Aslo Finn all the more.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

_**A/N: **Sorry! Can't say anymore than that._

I had been reading through my old diaries when the sun finally rose on the morning of the 10th of October. For some reason my coming human birthday had triggered something in me that wanted to reminisce, capture how I felt when aging still meant something to me. In all the pages, all the words, I had never really mentioned my birthday. I barely seemed to have celebrated it. Yet, when I look back on it all, the birthdays always stand out. I can remember watching one pass me by while in the asylum and how Aslo had tried to allow me a few extra minutes in the recreation room. I could remember the Masens giving me my first diary and the sterling silver pen I still owned. There were even a murky memory of my last birthday with my parents buried deep down. I could remember the cake, a big fairy castle covered in icing and Mother's favourite violet flowers. I tried to remember what they had looked like, my parents, but the only faces that came to mind were those of the dead.

I put the last diary away in the drawer just as Aslo walked into my room humming the 'happy birthday' tune.

I smirked as I turned to see him leaning against the wardrobe with a manila envelope tucked under his arm.

"How many more birthdays is it going to take for you to realise that they don't count?" I asked with my arms crossed.

"Just one more." He grinned as he presented me with the envelope.

"You know it's very unfair that you can't remember your own birthday, otherwise I would force you to endure this too," I teased. Aslo always claimed he'd forgotten his birthday centuries ago, or more to the point he never celebrated it when he was human anyway. He continued to celebrate my birthday every year since we came together, and although I wished he wouldn't I knew there was part of him that had to. He had known me when I was human. He had seen me grow and change and become who I was today. I could only think that through experiencing that he had somehow decided that my birthdays were nothing to be forgotten.

Aslo waited patiently as I examined the envelope, running my fingers along the edges to see if I could guess what was inside. Eventually I peeked at him and tore through the paper with an eager smile.

"Aslo, this is amazing." I gasped as I unfurled the pencil portrait.

"I've had it since before we...Well before I...slipped." It was strange to hear Aslo stuttering, he was usually so concise and definitive.

"You kept it?" I asked as I marvelled at the drawing he'd done of me.

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" he came and stood beside me, his hand resting on my waist. "After all it's some of my best work," he added smugly. I had to agree with him. It looked like the picture was a black and white photograph, a moment captured.

"I think it helped. I used to look at it when things got tough." His voice was so quiet it was like he was confessing something he had once refused to admit to himself. I gazed over the portrait of myself sitting at the piano and was surprised by the serene look on my face. I looked happy, or at least happier than I had ever thought myself to be. My hair was loose and ran in waves down beyond my shoulders, and the simple vest and skirt I wore flowed just as freely. Everything about the picture exuded serenity and calm. I should have felt like I was looking at a different person yet somehow I could see myself so clearly in the pencil etches. Not just because it was my face and figure drawn on the page, but there was something that rang out, something like an essence that Aslo had captured. It was something beautiful.

"Is this how you see me?" I murmured as I touched the page lightly, following the curve of the grand piano.

"This was how I used to see you, and I believe that girl is still in you somewhere, but I can't lie and say that you haven't changed these past few months."

I glanced up from the picture to Aslo and saw the serious look on his face. He was worried, that much was clear, I just couldn't see what he was worried about.

"You used to smile more when I knew you before," he said softly. I certainly felt different since the Cullens returned, and perhaps I had acted slightly differently, but surely those changes hadn't changed who I was to Aslo?

He must have seen the questions and worry in my eyes because he clutched me to his chest and planted a kiss on the top of my head as he smiled. "Don't worry, kvetina, I still love you."

I closed my eyes and sighed happily at the feel of his arm around me. "Do you think Tanya minds sharing you with me?" I asked with a grin.

"Oh I don't mind as long as I get him Thursday to Monday," Tanya teased as she sauntered towards us in a stunning blue dress. It seemed her casual wear had become a little more fancy since Aslo arrived on the scene.

I released Aslo as Tanya wound her arm around his and led him away towards her bedroom. "Eleazar wanted to know if you would like to hunt with him. He's waiting downstairs," she called over her shoulder before her door shut behind her and Aslo.

I made my way downstairs swinging over the banister to greet Eleazar at the bottom. "Tanya said you wanted to hunt," I said as I bundled my hair into a loose bun.

"Are you free?"

I rolled my eyes at Tanya's giggle coming from upstairs, "More than free."

We took off into the woods and I took a sly glance at Eleazar as we raced through the trees. Like with all the family members, Eleazar had his own way of hunting. It almost looked like a dance the way he ducked and weaved, like dancing a Paso Doble. In a way that was why Carmen fit him so perfectly. She always seemed to move with the same fluidity and passion as the Spanish flamenco dancers. Together they just seemed to emanate a fierce strength and loyalty.

That fierce strength showed as Eleazar took down his kill, although I didn't pay much attention once the deer scattered and I went to chase my own meal. It wasn't until half an hour had passed that we were both sated.

"Today is your birthday, yes?" he asked with his usual Spanish twang.

"Don't you start, I've been trying to stop Aslo from celebrating it for over a hundred years."

Eleazar chuckled, "You have nothing to worry about, I was just curious. Many of us treasure our human memories, yet you seem to prefer to keep yours hidden. Forgotten. Why?"

"I don't know. I think I wanted a fresh start. When I was human life wasn't easy. I lost a lot of people I loved, friends and family. I got in trouble, did things I never thought I would, and then I got changed, and after I killed my parents I was a mess. I could only think to blame the life I'd had, so when I knew what I was I took it as a chance to become the person I wanted to be when I was human."

Eleazar nodded but then frowned, "Surely you must know, you can change what you are, Sarelle, but you can't change _who_ you are."

"Yes, I'm starting to realise that." I sighed as I pulled my hair loose from the bun.

"Would I be right in thinking that the Cullens have something to do with that comment?" Eleazar said with his usual quiet confidence. He was the quietest in our coven yet he was the patriarch of our group. Garrett was bold but Eleazar was the one Tanya looked to when she contemplated decisions. In truth, besides Aslo, Eleazar was the one I turned to when I was most lost. He knew more of me than any of the other family members. Of course he was also the only one who knew who my real sire was.

"You could say that," I murmured as I glanced at him. He nodded once before rising from where we sat and waiting for me to walk with him.

"Tell me," he said simply, ever my willing therapist.

I rose to join him, dragging my hand through my hair. Of all the Denalis it was Eleazar who had broken down my walls the most. It wasn't that I liked him or trusted him more. I trusted each member equally and loved them each the same. The difference was that there were things that Eleazar had already known about me from the beginning, so I could never hide anything from him.

"They were a huge part of my human life. I met Carlisle on my first jump and since then there wasn't a year that went by without one of them being a part of my life."

"Yes, I can remember Caius' anger at their rule break quite clearly," he said as he kept his eyes forward, focussed on the future though we were delving through the past.

"Then you know of how I felt about Edward, and how it all ended."

There was a pause that was my cue to continue.

"It ruined me. I was bitter, hurt, a shell of who I once was. When it was all said and done, and my parents were dead, I was standing out on a cliff near Forks and I just knew then and there that I was through with it. I wanted to be strong. I wanted to be happy, and I was but it meant I had to give up what I had with the Cullens. Because of my gift I was forced to live without them, and I learned to cope with it."

"And now they're back in your life?"

"I don't want to be that girl again, but now I'm not sure if she ever left."

"Is it the girl you're worried about or the feelings that she once felt?"

"I'm not in love with Edward. We're just friends," I gushed choking on my words as he gave me a curious look.

"I was referring to the bitterness and empty feeling you once felt."

I winced at my mistake.

"Of course," I whispered as I mentally chastised myself for rushing ahead with my words without thinking.

Eleazar turned to me slowly, a pensive look upon his face. "What do you know of Irina?" he asked softly.

"Not very much. The others seem unwilling to talk of her, and I would never ask them to," I returned, unsure of the sudden change in topic. Although, I couldn't say I wasn't glad of it. I would greatly appreciate it if Eleazar forgot all about my foolish, premature comment.

"Yes, it hurts us to think of her and how we lost her. She was to us all a part of us. Who we were as a coven and as vampires. As I am sure you know she was the venom sister of Tanya and Kate, although like all three she was very different from them."

I nodded as I thought of how different Tanya and Kate were from each other. Kate had a nature that was as sleek as her hair. Her jokes and demeanour flowed effortlessly regardless of the situation. Yet she was sharp and severe as a blade when the time called for it. Her sister had the same buoyancy in her opinion as her hair had bounce in its curls. But unlike Kate she didn't slip through life, weaving through the crowd. Instead she carved her own path, no matter the enemies it made her. She was careful yet her loyalty to those she loved was her driving force.

For two sisters so different I was curious to know about the long lost third.

"Irina was sweet, supportive, unassuming. She was the perfect medium for her two sisters. However for all her virtues she had flaws. She was volatile, nervous, and loyal to a fault. She made a naive mistake and it cost her her existence."

It was strange to hear him talking like this, so candidly, but then there was part of me that understood how he could. Although Irina was gone, and he had loved her like a sister, it was because of the way he felt about her and who she had been to him that he was able to see her flaws and name them so precisely. It was the same with Aslo and I, or me and the Cullens. I knew them well enough to know they weren't perfect.

"Some may have said that her foolish mistake wasn't that which led her to flee to the Volturi, but instead when she fell in love with Laurent. To some people, loving Laurent was the catalyst that led to her end. She fell in love and it changed her, she had no choice. So some people say."

I stared at him as he walked towards me as he talked, stopping at arm's length.

"I do not know how you feel, Sarelle, or how Edward feels, or what the future holds. After all that is your area of expertise." He smiled at me as he placed a hand on my shoulder. "However, I do know that love, _que la emoción agridulce_, is not inevitable, nor inescapable. If it were there would not be so many in the world who find theirs unrequited. You always have a choice, _mi amigo_."

I sighed at the relief his words gave me. It was nice to hear, but that didn't mean I truly believed them. Perhaps I had just spent too long dwelling on my old broken heart.

I snapped my attention back to Eleazar when his hand left my shoulder and he started to walk again. I decided that for now I'd pretend to believe him. Like a child believes in Santa Claus, or the tooth fairy because with that belief comes the idea that anything is possible. Surely Edward and I could just be friends. Surely that is possible.

By the time I arrived back at the house with Eleazar I had convinced myself that any doubts I had were unfounded. That of course we could be just friends. The past didn't have to mean anything if I didn't want it to, and I certainly didn't want it to. The very thought of what would happen if I decided the past was more than years gone by left a heavy feeling in my stomach. The mess that would be caused by silly sentimental feelings would be catastrophic.

I just blamed my feelings on the fact it was my birthday and the diaries I had been reading earlier. They brought my past back with a little too much clarity.

I stepped through the door to be greeted by a room full of my friends and birthday decorations.

"Happy Birthday!" They all bellowed with grins on their beautiful faces. I closed my eyes with a depreciating smile before being enveloped in the arms of the people I loved.

I looked at the birthday banner over the top of Alice's shoulder, laughing at the way they'd altered it to read Happy 'Birthday'.

"It was Emmett's doing," Rosalie said dryly as she rolled her eyes at her husband.

"This is completely unnecessary, but amazing nonetheless. Thank you." I wrapped my arms around Rosalie and Emmett, or at least tried to.

"We never got to celebrate your birthday when you were human, so we just couldn't resist," Alice said as she beamed at me. Carlisle came to put his arm around my shoulders, giving me a firm hug while Esme lovingly brushed her hand over my hair.

"It was more that Alice couldn't resist, and we couldn't stop her," Carlisle stage-whispered smiling at his adopted daughter while Jasper wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Plus I figured I have a lot of birthday bumps to catch up on," Emmett teased as he stood with his arm slung around Rosalie's shoulder.

"Oh I'll take you on, Em, but it won't be me getting the bumps," I returned as he rolled his head, pretending to limber up.

"Emmett, if you dare put a crater in my lawn I'll give you a bump or two myself." Tanya tossed in from behind me. It was as I turned to grin at her and Aslo that I noticed Edward and his small family standing talking to Carmen and Kate.

Ren noticed me looking and hastily dragged Jacob with her as she came towards me.

"Sarelle, it seems like ages." That was the start of the evening, and it turned out to be a very long night. I caught up on the small revelations that had occurred in the others' lives that I didn't know about. I listened to Ren talk about hers and Jacob's plans to travel and where they planned to go. A conversation which didn't feature much of Jacob's input. I even managed to persuade Emmett to postpone our wrestling match, although it took a lot of Rosalie's help and art of distraction. By the time dawn came I had spoken to all except Edward, and Bella of course but somehow she didn't feature on my radar.

I listened to the talking downstairs, the conversations still flowing easily after all the hours that had passed. I had come upstairs to put away the photos that had been taken throughout the night, and the camera that had taken them. It had been Aslo who had teased me for snapping shots all night, saying that perhaps I should give the shutter a break before I wore it out.

I piled the new photos neatly and placed them in with my photo albums and diaries, tidied away to be organised later.

A soft knock at my door told me what I already knew. He had found me alone once again.

"Edward," I said a little too formally as I turned to face him.

"Sarelle," he replied in the same tone and with a nod of his head. He lifted it to reveal a teasing crooked smile that relaxed me as it always did.

As he straightened he brought a small flat box from behind his back. It was white and tied with a simple violet blue ribbon.

"It's for you," he said in an obvious manner. I hadn't realised I'd been staring.

"You shouldn't have. I've already told Aslo it's not a real birthday, that you don't have to get me a present." Despite my protest I took the box from his hand.

"Aslo got you a present?" he asked as I turned the book over in my hands.

"He's done it every year, well almost every year." I didn't dwell on the five years he was absent. I rattled the box but there was no sound.

Edward cleared his throat, chuckling slightly. "Just open it. I wouldn't say it's a present really. So maybe it doesn't count." He seemed to almost ramble through his words as I untied the bow and lifted the lid.

I gasped when I saw what was nestled in black foam inside.

"See, it's not a real present. I'm simply returning it to its rightful owner," he said softly as I stared down at the old fashioned key. I knew exactly what it opened.

"The cottage?" I asked with wide eyes.

"We bought it shortly after...It didn't feel right leaving it to crumble away. Or at least I couldn't let that happen." He looked at the key with a haunted expression but I didn't let myself dwell on it. Instead I clutched the key in my hand and pulled Edward into a tight embrace.

"Thank you, so much." I murmured into his navy shirt collar. He had given me back the Belmore cottage and it seemed the best present in the world.

"It's always belonged to you. It was only right that you had it back." His grasp tightened ever-so-slightly as he spoke.

We held each other in the dim light of my room until Bella's anguished cry tore through the house.

"Edward?" Alice called with sadness in her voice. He left me in an instant, and I followed slowly behind him.

I heard his worried voice, and the chattering of explanations. However it was Bella's voice that drew my attention.

"It's Charlie. He's dead. They just rang, and he's dead."


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

_11th October 2047_

Bella and Edward left for Forks within the hour, taking Ren and Jacob with them. Only Ren shed any tears. Bella hadn't showed any such emotion, not after her initial outburst. I could only imagine that the death of her father was something she had always been expecting. Perhaps she had been waiting for it to happen ever since she was changed. She wasn't like the other Cullens. She had crossed into the world of the supernatural by choice. She had planned it and prepared herself for the goodbyes she would have to make.

Thinking of Bella's father soon brought back the memories I had of her mother, and I couldn't help dwelling on the final few.

_2nd May 2033 (The night after Dylan's wedding)_

_I lingered outside that little white house which I knew so well. It had been my place of sanctuary and peace when I was human. Every time I had jumped there it had taken me from my broken state and fixed me up until I was good as new. Now it held a very different feeling._

_I could hear Renée pottering about in the kitchen, pans and cups clinking together as she moved while the steady noise of Phil's snoring sounded from their upstairs bedroom. It was strange not to hear a peep coming from Dylan's room, but of course he didn't live here anymore, he hadn't for years now._

_I toyed with the silver ring on my finger as I debated what my next move would be. Renée had seen me at the wedding, I knew she had, but was that glance enough to show myself to her now? Plus how would Aslo feel when he found out that I had betrayed his trust. I had told him I was going for a run, some time to enjoy old memories before we moved on again. I knew he wouldn't have let me leave if he knew I was planning on revealing myself to Renee, a human. He didn't know her like I did. He didn't know that she wasn't like other humans, that she saw more than they did. She could be trusted, I knew that much, but I didn't know if our kind could be trusted._

_I had already visited this place a few times before; watching Dylan grow up, move out, the family evolving. I had been lucky that other vampires hadn't caught on to my interest and sought out the source. It wasn't that they didn't inhabit this area, I knew of at least one coven who resided deep within the city and I also knew as pleasant as they were, I didn't want them coming anywhere near Renée and her family. Never would I allow such a thing._

_As I pondered what to do I heard Renee's aged voice hum a familiar tune, Clair de Lune. In that instant I threw aside the worries of what Aslo would say, and what the consequences could be. The Volturi had no idea of my presence, or Renee's existence, so she would be safe from them and that meant it was safe for me to see her. Just once._

_I snuck around the side of the house, following the tune of her voice and the sound of hands soaking in sudsy water._

_As I approached the porch the security light switched on and I heard Renee's hands freeze, her heart picking up speed. I didn't want to scare her. That was the last thing I wanted, especially after what happened with Dylan on his 21st birthday._

_I placed my hand on the door, resting my forehead against the wood as I inhaled the scent of her home, of comfort, of her. My throat smouldered but it didn't burn. Her fragrance wasn't one that made my mouth water. It was light and fresh, like the faint smell of freshly made lemonade._

_Once I knew my control was solid I knocked twice. They were firm knocks that made sure to give her a little reassurance._

_The door cracked open and I made sure to step back so I didn't seem too close. I knew humans could get skittish when we got too close._

_"Renee." I queried as she peered out at me, her eyes scanning my figure and face._

_The door opened a little more._

_"Sarelle?" she sounded baffled. I smiled. The door opened to its fullest and she stood there with one hand over her mouth, a wet rag in the other, and eyes wider than I thought possible._

_"Renee, are you OK?" I asked as I examined her. Her heart rate was pounding but the smell of fear wasn't permeating the air. Her eyes seemed to be set wide in shock but they sparkled nonetheless._

_"I thought...at the church...I thought it was you but then...Is this real? Are you really here?" she gabbled until she threw the cloth to the side and lunged at me, her arms going around me in an instant._

_I tensed for a second at her warmth, her scent, and the way it felt to be held in such a way by someone so delicate. With tentative movements I let my arms lie on her, but I had to be careful not to apply too much pressure, not matter how much I wanted to. Just to really feel her and hug her like I wanted. She was too breakable for such a thing though so I settled for the way I could feel her smile against my cheek._

_"I never thought...I thought we'd never see you again. It's been so long, too long." She sniffed as she pulled away; from the way she looked at me I could see that she had noticed the different in temperature. I wondered if she placed it down to the chill of the night air, or she knew something was different._

_"I missed you," she murmured as she stepped out of the door way and beckoned me in._

_"Me too, Renée." I smiled and noticed the way Renée's eyes seemed to glaze over and her mouth went slack. It only lasted a brief moment but that moment made me want to turn away and run. I had never dazzled her before when I was human. It was just another reminder that I was different, that our relationship was different. I was a predator now, not just a friend._

_"Please, come in, take a seat. There's so much to talk about. Can I get you anything?" She rattled off as I perched myself on one of the old kitchen chairs she'd had since I was last here._

_"I'm fine thank you, but I would love to catch up. It feels like a lifetime has gone by." For me it had been, several._

_"I still can't believe it. You're here. Sarelle . Does Dylan know? Have you seen him?" Renée asked as she sat eagerly in the seat opposite._

_"I wanted too, but I couldn't. Things are...things have changed. Or at least some things have and others haven't," I murmured as I chewed on my lip._

_"You haven't changed," she whispered and I looked up faster than I possibly should have. Her breath caught and her eyes took on the same curious look they had so many times before._

_"Or maybe you have," she pondered as she rested her chin in her palm. "Doesn't matter. Point is you're here and I can't wait to hear what you've been up to."_

_I smiled tightly. There were certainly some things I would have loved to have shared with her. Some of the places in history I'd experienced but there were other things I would never inflict upon her._

_"Where to begin." I sighed as I leant back in the chair. I knew how to keep up human appearances, to a point. Shifting was one of the key things that made up the act._

_"How about starting with that gorgeous man you came with today." Renée grinned and I did too._

_"Aslo."_

_"Aslo, unusual name. Where's he from?"_

_"Eastern Europe. I think he was born in Czech Republic, but he's travelled around a lot. He's older than me, but we get along wonderfully."_

_"Romance?"_

_"No," I said smiling while Renée looked at me with that twinkle._

_"We've seen the world together. That kind of thing effects how you are with someone, but we're just friends."_

_"If I had a chance at a man like that I'd certainly consider trading Phil in for a younger model."_

_"How are things with you and Phil? Is it strange without Dylan?" I asked and I saw the change in Renée instantly._

_"I love him, more than anything, but..."_

_"But?"_

_"Sometimes he seems like he's not with me. Like he's somewhere else. Or he'll have these moments when we're talking and he forgets the smallest thing. It could be something tiny like the name of an actor or a TV show, but he never used to do that. He used to be so...there. You know."_

_I nodded as I watched her. She'd lost some of her carefree demeanour but I had to hope that it was still there somewhere, that it had just adapted as she grew older._

_Renee's eyes met mine and they flashed once again. I wondered when she would ask me about the differences._

_"It's been a long time hasn't it. Longer than weeks or months. Maybe even years." I stayed quiet as she talked._

_"I can see it. You're older than you once were, wiser. You've changed, but it suits you, truly," she murmured and I felt my lips curve into a faint smile._

_"You too."_

_After that we talked until the sun threatened to rise. She never asked me about the quirks she noticed. She accepted the different eye colour, the fast reflexes, and cool temperature. Every difference she noticed she dismissed with a smile. I had never cared more for her as a friend than I did tonight._

_When it came to leave, my head filled with new stories and information. I hated that I couldn't give her a promise of another visit. She accepted it with her usual smile and wave goodbye but still it hurt me to know that I couldn't be sure when I would next see her again. I was in control of the jumps now. I should have been able to say I'd see her soon, but my new nature stopped me. There was always something stopping me._

_I sighed when I heard the door shut behind me and closed my eyes for a second to gather my thoughts for the run home._

_"Sarelle." The voice pierced the grey atmosphere of dawn, and I snapped my gaze up with a speed fuelled by guilt._

_There he stood leaning against the neighbour's wall while I was trying to think up an excuse to tell him when I got back._

_"Aslo, I..."_

_"I think this is a conversation better saved for a private setting," he said coolly. He was mad, and the coming conversation was sure not to be a pleasant one._

That day we'd hid with the Florida coven in an abandoned warehouse, dodging the sun. Aslo had hated it. He had said it was like he was a caged animal, lowered to hiding as if he were weak. As if he were human. That day had been a bad day, and it was only made worse by the fact our argument was forced to be postponed. We were both tense but we couldn't show it simply because we didn't want to disrupt the existence of the coven we were staying with. They had been kind to us, allowing us a place to stay, and it would have been no way to repay them by destroying the place they called home all because of a silly dispute.

Instead we had waited until dusk and slipped through the city's streets towards the suburbs where we finally vented our anger. The fight had been quick but violent. I had broken one of Aslo cardinal rules and in doing so damaged the trust we shared. It was only after we had fought, and shouted, and I'd screamed my reasons at him that he understood. Still, although he forgave me my weakness and tolerated my reasons he still made me promise to never do it again.

A promise I soon broke, not that he was with me to realise.

_23rd October 2041, Florida (a jump back from the year of 2043)_

_I looked over my shoulder once again. I must have done it a hundred times or more since I had snuck out of the Denali house, leaving the coven behind. Of course I had no need to fear them finding me here. I had jumped back to this place soon after slipping into the forest surrounding their home. I had said I needed to hunt which wasn't a lie but neither was it the whole truth. I was testing my limits and I knew my eyes were closer to black than gold, but I pushed my basal needs aside because I knew I wouldn't get another chance like this. I'd already learned that from an earlier jump to visit her. I had two years until her house would no longer be hers, until her heart would no longer beat, until I lost her forever. I could remember the day when I had visited her house expecting to see her but found a stranger instead. That moment was in the future, two years into the future to be precise, but I couldn't bare the idea of never seeing her again. That was why I had jumped back to this place._

_I felt my need to see her more since Aslo had left. It didn't matter that the Denalis had taken me in and treated me as their own. They were near strangers to me compared to the relationship I had with Renee. My relationship with her was one I cherished, which was why I couldn't let her die without seeing her. Just once more._

_I stood in the spot I had always favoured whenever I visited, resting my palms on the tree trunk as my senses scanned the house for life._

_I found her almost instantly, her scent so familiar, comforting. I honed my hearing as I heard her and Phil talking in their living room. They were watching a popular sitcom. I had heard many humans talk of it over the years, and I knew it was onto its sixth season in 2043._

_"I love that guy. He's hilarious, isn't he, hun?" Phil said with a laugh as the character in question made a sarcastic comment._

_"Yes, sweetie. I like him too. Did you hear from Dylan? He said he was going to call about us having the girls over the weekend." Renee spoke slowly but at pace so that it wouldn't be noticeable._

_"I don't think so, Hun. Can't remember a call from him. Where're him and Hallie going? Somewhere special?"_

_"I told you, sweetie, they're going to Washington to the World War III memorial. You know how important it is to Callie, after losing her brother in the Saudi bombing."_

_I could remember the third World War, just like I could remember the first and the second. Out of all three I thought that perhaps the third was the most vicious, not because it took more lives than the others, but because of the way the lives were taken and the aftermath. Germ warfare was the central weapon and because it couldn't be traced it caused a tension close to that of the Cold War. No one knew who had triggered it, and therefore they were suspicious of all. People died of horrible diseases, or were damaged for life. Innocents were affected all because of fuel and the lack of it. It was sickening to watch but there was nothing else to be done. It was that dark time that I understood what Aro had meant by calling humanity barbaric and out of control._

_When I came out from my memories Phil was heading up the stairs while Renee sat in the same arm chair she had been in most the night. The only difference was that now she wasn't watching the TV. Instead she was staring into space, an expression of sorrow on her lined face._

_I watched as her hand reached up to wipe a tear from her face and she heaved herself out of her chair. She must have been seventy four years old, if I had counted correctly. Yet she didn't look her age. Her hair hadn't greyed as much as others of her age, and the tan on her skin made her look younger than her years. However, as she walked to the kitchen I saw the way her hand reached out to nearby surfaces to steady herself._

_I slipped quickly from beside the tree to the back door, waiting quietly for her to enter the kitchen. I didn't want to scare her so I softly knocked three times._

_"Who on earth comes calling at this time?" Renee muttered to herself and I smiled at her words. When she was younger she would never have asked such a thing._

_"Just an old friend," I said through the door, loud enough for her to hear._

_I heard the gasp on the other side and the rough shaking of the door handle as she tried to get it open quicker than it would allow._

_"I hoped it would be you," she sniffed as she reached for a hug. I noted the glassy surface of her eyes before taking her into my arms._

_I had never given it a moment's thought as to how hard it would be to be so close to her knowing she would be gone within a mere two years. But, as I held her, I realised it would be one of the most difficult things I would ever do because unlike many of my other friends, she would not exist beyond her human life. She wasn't immortal._

_"Why are you crying?" I asked as she stepped back and allowed me in._

_"Oh it's nothing, just me being a silly old woman," she mumbled with a half-hearted laugh._

_I eyed her sceptically as she went over to a cupboard on the far side of the kitchen. No matter what her age, Renee never cried without a reason. Not to say that those reasons sometimes seemed an odd thing to cry about._

_"Renee, I can tell it's something more than that."_

_I watched as she took two yellow pills with a glass of water, collecting a tissue from beside the kettle on her way back to the kitchen table. I sat patiently as she dabbed her eyes and eased into one the old wooden chairs. She didn't seem comfy so I made a note to buy a new cushioned set to be delivered before I left._

_"It's Phil," she said with a tired, unhappy voice. "I'm losing him. It started a year ago. He'd forget actor's names, meetings he'd organised for work, the odd day. I ignored it because everyone forgets little things now and then."_

_I nodded even though I knew I would never forget such things. For some reason my nature came with an infinite memory._

_"But now, it's constant. He forgets to turn off the gas on the cooker. He forgets birthdays, even his own son's. The doctor said there's a treatment being developed but it's very experimental and only works in some cases. Plus we would never be able to afford it." She sniffed and I touched her hand gently to try and comfort her. She flinched slightly at my temperature but soon wrapped my hand in hers._

_I added Phil's treatment onto my list. I had the funds to help, and maybe he would be one of the lucky few to recover. _

_Renee yawned and rubbed her temples, her eyes closed in discomfort._

_"Are you OK? I don't want to keep you up if you're tired."_

_She opened her eyes with a resigned huff of air. "I'm fine, or at least no different to usual."_

_"Is there anything I can do?"_

_"Find a cure for cancer?" she said with a hollow laugh._

_I felt my heart drop. Cancer, it was one of the only diseases they hadn't found a complete cure for._

_Renee must have noticed my desperate expression because her hand squeezed mine and I looked up to see a soft smile on her sunken lips. Now that I knew I could almost taste the cancer in her scent. It tinged the usual marmalade scent with a sour note which made it almost sickly._

_"It's OK, sweetie. I've had a good long run. Survived a World War, had a beautiful family, met some fabulous people. Plus not many can say they've known a time traveller. I think that'll give me some street cred when I get to those pearly gates." She winked and I smiled briefly._

_I didn't ask her how long she'd have. I already knew, and now that I knew what eventually killed her I was almost surprised that she'd have so long left. Still, the idea of her suffering, like so many others did with cancer, made my throat go tight. I had never wanted such an ending for her. She deserved better._

_"Now, I've had enough cancer talk from the doctors and Dylan, I don't want to talk about it anymore. Tell me about you. I want to hear all your adventures." She grinned and although it took me a moment I pushed aside my sadness. I may not have been able to save her, but I could give her what she wanted._

That visit had been the first of a few. When I had jumped back to the year 2043 and returned to the Denalis I was already thinking about when I could next return. I managed a trip every other month. Of course due to my ability I never lost any time spent with the Denalis. I was always able to return to the exact second I had disappeared. The reason why I only visited every other month was because it got harder and harder to recover each time. No matter though, I still documented our times together. I took pictures which I kept hidden with my others. Out of the sight of those who would disapprove. I gave Renee a few, pictures of me and her, or copies of the pictures I had taken when I had stayed with her when I was human. It seemed to comfort her, being able to look back over the years.

Sometimes the pictures were a curse because they were like a picture book of her disease. Every time I jumped back to see her she would be worse. Her face would be more sunken, or her hair would be thinner. She aged more in those last two years than she had in the seventy four years she had lived.

I knew the Denalis noticed the change in me whenever I returned. Carmen would sometimes point out the change in my eyes when I gained a new fragment and then ask me where I had jumped to in order to get it. Other times they would comment on my glum demeanour. I never told them about her though. I knew they followed the Volturi's rules diligently so I didn't want to put them in the predicament of deciding who to side with.

When the day came that Renee was moved to a quiet room in the nearby hospital I made my last trip. It was to be our final goodbye, even though she was too weak to fully understand. I knew that two weeks from that day my past self would travel from Colter Bay to her house in Florida looking for her, only to find she'd passed on. That day was one of the worst in my life.

_4th May 2043, Florida_

_I grinned as I looked up at the cloudy sky. I couldn't have been more grateful for the bad weather. It had been years, a decade even since I had last stood outside this house. Of course then it was after Dylan's wedding and I'd had the issue of Aslo finding out to deal with. Not now. He'd left me. He didn't care, so now I didn't have to care about his silly, irrational rules. I didn't care that I'd promised never to visit her again. She was my friend. I couldn't just forget about her._

_I snuck my hand out from under the shade of the tree and smiled when it didn't glisten. I didn't have to wait until dark, or sneak around to the back. I could just walk right up to the front door and knock like any other normal visitor._

_I breathed in deeply as I walked towards the white front door. There were people inside, not many but maybe around five. I wondered if Renee had visitors over because I didn't recognise the scents._

_I rang the doorbell once and waited patiently, filled with excitement and rebellion. It felt so strange being able to do this. It was as if I was breaking the rules, and part of me revelled in the naughty feeling._

_"I'll get it, probably Dahlia with those bin bags." I grinned and for once I felt the need to fidget, or to find some way to expel the excess energy I had. Then again it wasn't so much excess energy as endless._

_The door swung open to a man in a check shirt and grubby jeans. He barely stood taller than me but his shoulders nearly filled the doorframe._

_"Uh, hello?" he stuttered as he blinked a few times._

_"Hello, I'm here to see Renee? I'm an old friend." I smiled and watched as the man's eyes glazed over._

_Slowly he recovered himself and a large hand reached up to scratch at his greying beard._

_"I'm sorry. I think you've come to the wrong place. The funeral party have moved on to the cemetery." As he spoke a couple more heads peered around him to see who he was talking to. I heard them whisper, wondering who I was, how come they had never seen me, or heard of me._

_I didn't let them see the shock on my face. Instead I nodded and thanked them before turning to walk away._

_It wasn't until I was at the main street that I started to panic._

_I hailed a cab, ordering it to the cemetery._

_It was if I were numb throughout the drive because I didn't seem to register anything until the moment I was looking on at the funeral party._

_Pink petals swirled in the sky above me as they fell from the blossom tree. Some had already started to rot on the grass where I stood, their scent drifting up and around me._

_I gripped the rough tree trunk, peering around it to see the party of people dressed in black. There were so many, and I could find at least a small part of happiness in me at that._

_I eyed the maple coffin. It was polished and beautifully carved with silver handles at the four corners. Draped over the top was a bouquet of wild flowers and lilies, all dripping with petals. It was as beautiful as it was sad._

_I looked from the coffin to the people who stood closest to it. Dylan was at the front and centre, Phil on one side whilst Hallie stood on the other holding his hand._

_I knew he was crying although he didn't show it. I could smell the salt from his tears and hear the rattling of his breath as he tried to breathe steadily. From where I stood I could hear the whispers of the two little girls who clung to his legs. They must have been his, from their maple hair and blue eyes I couldn't imagine how they could be anyone else's. They were wondering why their Dad was crying, what was going on. I wondered if it would be Dylan or Hallie who later explained to them. Did they even know their grandmother was dead? Or had their parents chosen to shield them, like others had tried to shield me when my parents died?_

_Phil's face was crumpled and every now and then he'd bring his sleeve up to wipe his eyes. As I watched the funeral continue I said goodbye to my friend in silence. I couldn't cry for her. I couldn't go and pay my respects. I couldn't even leave with the others to the wake and tell stories about her._

_Instead I stood by that cherry tree, until the sun set in the sky and the grave was covered in new soil. I stood until I jumped back, all the while planning to see her again._

"Sarelle!" I blinked at the sudden call of my name. I had gotten so lost in the past that I'd completely forgotten about the present. After Bella and Edward had left the impromptu party the atmosphere wasn't what it had been, for obvious reasons. Alice had been most upset out of the remaining Cullens and as I could never stand to see my dear friend sad I had travelled back with the Cullens, promising Alice she could spend as long as she wanted making me over.

It was now as I was waiting for her to return with the seventh outfit of the day that Emmett bounded into the room with a broad smile on his face.

"Woah." He stopped still gaping at me.

"What? Is it really bad? I knew she'd reached for that blusher one too many times." I asked as I cursed the fact Alice had hidden all the mirrors.

Emmett stood right in front of me, peering at me as if examining a painting.

"You look like a human. Like you, when you were human," he said as he prodded my arm, as if just checking I was still a vampire.

I shrugged with a smile, "So what brings you to Alice's boudoir?"

"You know last night you said we'd wrestle later." Emmett almost bounced on the spot and I bit my lip as I tried to fight back a smile.

"Seriously?"

"Hell yeah." He spun to leave, obviously certain that I'd follow. "Just wash that stuff off. It's freaky." With that he left and Alice replaced him as she pouted.

"You're going to go and ruin my hard work, aren't you?" She clearly already knew the answer.

I turned with a smile towards the pots and brushes on the vanity table, grabbing a makeup remover and swiping it across my face.

"Just think, when I've thoroughly beaten Emmett you can start all over again." She grinned at this and stepped aside.

We both sped down the stairs and outside to where Emmett was testing his reflexes, blurring as he moved.

I rolled my eyes whilst I slipped my shoes off and fixed my hair in a twist with a twig from a nearby tree.

I noticed the other Cullens gathering. It was strange because there was part of me that wanted to impress them, to prove that I knew how to fight, to show them I was a vampire and I knew how to defend myself.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

_12th October 2047_

"Oh, come on, Emmett. I honestly thought you would see it coming," I reasoned as Emmett sat against the snapped tree trunk, rubbing the back of his neck as if he could still feel the pain. He continued to pout and seemed set on ignoring my apology. In all fairness I hadn't meant to harm him. In fact I was only gauging my actions on his. He wasn't holding back so I didn't feel the need to either.

"You almost had me with that body lock," I cajoled as I sunk down to his level and rested my hand on his thick shoulder.

"WWF special." He grinned, chuckling at my blank expression. I might have been a vampire but there were still little words and sayings that eluded my knowledge.

"No hard feelings?" I asked as I rose and offered my hand.

"It's going to take more than an ass-kicking to hurt my feelings, Saz." He ruffled my hair and we walked back to the house together. Emmett quickly bundled Rosalie into his arms and swept her upstairs while I was greeted by the others.

"Aslo's taught you well," Carlisle said with a proud smile on his face.

"He had to, I wasn't the most regimental of newborns. I tended to rely on my brute strength than my mind."

"You wouldn't be the first," Jasper commented and I nodded as I swept a glance over his scars. I could guess where he got them from. Aslo and I had met a vampire and his mate who bore the same markings. They were one of the sole reasons we had not ventured into the Texan war. It had been a hard decision for us both given the smell of blood that drifted from the civil battles. Still, after what we had heard from the two of them the blood had already been claimed through a war none of the humans knew about. I had tried not to think whether or not Katelyn had been one of the unlucky few to taken or turned.

"Do you want to come, Sarelle?" Alice asked with a bright smile while Carlisle and Esme walked out towards the edge of the woods.

"To hunt?" I questioned as I snapped out of the memory.

Jasper nodded as Alice bent to tighten the straps on her shoes."There is herd of deer not far off the ridge."

"Thank you but I think I'm going to head back home." Alice's face dropped in an instant.

I chuckled and gave her a hug. "Don't worry I'll be over tomorrow and I'll be at your command. Dress me up, make me over, or whatever else you come up with." She smiled so with a wave I left them behind, my mind fixed on the wooden house my coven called home.

* * *

I smiled as I raced into my room, going straight of the drawer with my diary and photographs inside. I sifted through the photos grinning as I heard the rest laughing and joking downstairs. We had been talking about our pasts and I had to show them the images I had of Aslo in London on Halloween. As my hands reached for the stack of photos I saw my phone blinking over on my bedside table. With the photos in my hand I bounced onto the bed and reached for the shiny black device. With a swift click of a button the screen lit up and I stared at a message.

_Meet me at the cliff. E_

I knew who it was from, but I didn't know why he was here. He was supposed to be with Bella and his daughter. He was supposed to be in Forks, 900 miles away. The time on the text was twenty minutes ago. He would probably be there already, or at least close. I felt my stomach churn, or at least some similar feeling.

"What's taking so long, Sarelle?" Kate called up and with a rush of nerves I locked the phone and stuffed it in my jeans pocket.

I didn't know why but I felt this resounding guilt at even contemplating sneaking out to meet Edward. For starters I didn't know why I felt the need to sneak out. Everyone in this house knew I was friends with Edward, or at least knew we talked if not how regularly. But nonetheless my gut was telling me that to tell them where I was going and who I was going there with would be a mistake. I clutched the photos a bit tighter and fixed a sure smile on my face. I knew I would meet him as he asked but I also knew it wouldn't be as soon as he would like.

Another thirty minutes passed until I was given the opportunity to slip away. As each of the couples retreated to their bedrooms I slipped on a pair of shoes and left out the back door.

I could see the lake sparkling through the trees as the moon's full face shone out across the land. It seemed to watch me as I ran to the cliff. It felt like it reflected my own feelings back at me, the judgement, the guilt, the confusion, and most of all the excitement that tingled in my limbs. For all the nerves I felt I couldn't deny the shiver-like thrill which took hold of me every time I let myself think of why Edward wanted to see me or why he was here. I slowed when I reached the clearing. I could smell the fresh cool air drifting from the cliff and infiltrating the moist scent of the forest. Most of all I could smell the scent of my downfall riding the breeze. I knew Edward and I were friends, or at least that's what we labelled ourselves, but I couldn't lie to myself and say that the smell of him didn't ignite something in me. That little fire that once burned and now is just embers and ash.

I peered through the darkness to see him pacing. His hands gripped his hair before frantically tearing away again in what seemed like frustration.

"Edward?" I murmured as I wove passed the thick tree trunks towards him, my feet barely making a sound on the damp earth. He stopped pacing instantly as he turned with a shocked but eager expression.

I frowned at his wide eyes. They held such conflict and concern.

"I thought you wouldn't come," he uttered yet didn't move.

"I was busy."

"I waited. I thought you'd reply, but you didn't and then I didn't know where else to go." He rushed as his hand ran through his hair once again, standing the strands on end as if his mood had every inch of him on edge.

"I didn't have my phone on me. I'm sorry, but I thought you were with Bella." I stepped towards him, reaching out when I saw his expression crumble and his gaze dropping to the floor.

"Edward, what happened?" I asked as I cupped his cheek in my palm, watching his golden eyes reach up to mine.

"Don't ask, please." He sounded so tired. As I pulled him in to my arms I felt him breathe in deeply and as he exhaled it seemed as if all that was wrong became right again. His body relaxed against mine, his arms passing around my back from where they had once hung limply at his sides.

"God how I've missed you," he breathed as a hand ran through my hair. The sensation of being held so intimately and the safety I felt caused something deep inside to stir. To feel this way, to have this with him, I would do anything. The guilt that had plagued me on the way to him vanished replaced by ignorant bliss. I loved that I could soothe him this way. I loved that he called to me when in need. I loved...what we had. No matter how twisted.

I pulled away gently but he kept contact by placing my hand in his.

"How is Renesmee?" I asked quietly for fear of sending him back to the state he was in before.

"She's upset but Jacob is looking after her."

"And Bella?" The words barely left my mouth. I had to almost force them into existence.

"Bella...seems to be coping just fine." There was an edge in his voice but with a squeeze of my hand he let whatever he was hiding go.

"I don't want to think about it anymore. I just want to get away for a while." He let me go and walked off towards the edge of the clearing, the opposite direction to home. I dashed to be beside him, twining my fingers with his.

"So where should we go?" I asked with a smile, feeling it brighten as Edward cast a crooked grin of his own.

"Keep up if you can." And with a quick squeeze of my hand he was gone. _We_ were gone to someplace only we knew.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

I laughed as I passed Edward; although I couldn't be sure that he hadn't deliberately slowed down to allow me to take the lead.

I glanced a look behind me and sure enough his face was lit with a smile so blinding that it could rival the rising sun behind him.

Black Lake looked just the same as it always had and as I looked ahead of me I could see that the same could be said for the Jackson house which nestled on the lake's edge.

I found a new level of energy as I spied that old, vast house and soon I found myself standing on the wide wraparound porch staring at the large oak door and regal brass knocker. Neither seemed tarnished by time, in fact they looked better for it. I wondered if the same could be said for me and Edward.

Edward performed an inhuman task and retrieved the hidden key from where it had been stored below the porch for however many years. I watched as with a swift turn of the large round handled the door opened wide for us.

He ushered me forward with the soft placement of his hand on the base of my back, and with that simplest of touches I entered the home I had been unable to visit for so long.

"It's never changed." I gasped as the same awe overtook me as it had when I first visited when I was human. The grand hallway still captured my attention, the way the room stretched the whole height of the house.

"Esme pays for it to be maintained, just in case." Edward said with a voice that showed I wasn't the only one who felt something by being here.

"Do you keep all your houses?"

"Not all of them, but some are harder to let go of." He cast his gaze over me and we shared a smile.

After that we seemed to rush through the rooms like each one held something we needed. It was like there was a desperation to remember, to try and go back in time to relive the moments each room held. To re-feel each emotion. Whether I was supposed to notice or not, I saw how Edward's reaction differed from mine. For me this house was full of happy moments, but I was almost certain the same couldn't be said for him.

Our whirlwind tour finally ended at the highest point of the house, the room where Edward's piano used to sit and look out over the lake.

I stood in the bay window, gazing out over the near 360 degree view. The town had sprawled out from its centre point, creeping into the forest like roots from a tree. Still it did nothing to detract from the view, or the most prominent memory I had of this place.

The sun had cast a rosy glow across the land now and I smiled because now I could. That red didn't mean anything to me anymore. I was in control. I could stay here forever if I wanted.

I felt Edward's presence move from behind me, coming to stand beside me with a look of thought on his glimmering face.

"Why here, Edward?" I hadn't yet asked why he would choose this place out of all the options available to us.

"I don't know. I just ran." He glanced down at me and I tried to decipher the emotion caught in his eyes but as with most things about Edward, it was a mystery to me.

"I haven't been here in so long, I only realised where we were when I saw the city."

"You never visited?" he asked with something that sounded like hurt in his voice.

I looked over to the forest just beyond the patch of grass out the back of the house.

"I jumped here, maybe once or twice when I was still quite young. I couldn't help it. I stood behind that tree and listened to you playing," I murmured as I half-heartedly pointed to the large western red cedar that grew on the edge of the clearing and dripped with green moss. I didn't tell him the words of love I'd whispered or the sadness that had tightened my throat and built tears that had refused to fall.

"I came here the night before I returned to school in Forks. I had visited the Denalis in Alaska after I first met Bella. Tanya helped, to a point, but for some reason I felt this pull to come here." He shook his head as if shaking off some silly thought he'd had.

I looked out the window rather than at him as I asked him what had happened on the way to Forks, why he was here instead.

"We were halfway to Forks and she...She wouldn't let me in, and she kept asking these questions, about me, you, the past. I couldn't answer them. I didn't want to. I tried to reason with her but she didn't want to hear it."

"So you just left her? After her father died?" I rose my voice in shock.

"No! She forbid me to follow her." I could see the distress rising as he spoke. "I was going to regardless but Jacob interfered, claiming he would look after her, calm her down," Edward spat, past jealously rearing its ugly head.

"I don't understand. Renesmee said they were just friends before she was born." My tongue twisted over her full name but I said it anyway, for Edward's benefit.

"Not always," he whispered with old pain in his eyes.

My hand touched his sculpted cheek as I yearned for his eyes to meet mine, to explain to me.

"She became his when I left her, or at least they formed a relationship. When I returned she claimed she didn't truly love him as she did me, but I knew that was just a lie she told herself to ease the guilt." He wasn't talking to me now. His eyes were focussed on a far off memory.

"Then Victoria came and the wolves agreed to an alliance. He had his chance and he took it. He broke through the wall I had always known was there. I heard it all. The way her voice changed when she spoke to him. The desperation, that need she had for him in her life. I heard the way their breathing quickened, the way his blood rushed, the effect he had on her body." The anger was clear, even if you didn't notice the way his hand was clench and his jaw was locked.

I could only stand there in silence as his emotions took him off on a journey he had probably travelled many times before.

"She was supposed to be mine. She had agreed to be my wife for eternity and he just took her and she let him. She was sorry for it afterwards, and I could only accept it, soothe her because I could do nothing else. I loved her. And even though they don't love each other like they used to he will always have a part of her that I won't. To her it's insignificant but to me..." he stopped as his head dropped into his palms.

"Do you love her still?" I asked quietly although why I felt the need to was a puzzle to me.

"Yes," he replied just as quietly, as if it was some kind of confession to a sin.

Again a question niggled at me and before I could stop myself it jumped from me. "Why?"

"She's kind, considerate, generous, loving, among other things. She makes me a better man and she gave me something to believe in when I needed it most."

I didn't say anything in reply. I couldn't. I didn't want to sound bitter or sully something he truly believed but there was also no way that I could agree. The Bella he had described hadn't existed for me since she was a toddler.

"We can't stay here. The others will notice I'm gone," I said blankly because I didn't really have any desire to go back to Colter Bay, back to the way things were.

"Can I not have you to myself just for one day?" he returned as his hand entwined with mine and his eyes burned with that emotion I both adored and spurned.

"As a friend you can have me for as long as you want," I murmured as I slid my hand out of his, missing the contact as soon as I'd lost it.

We left the house as swiftly as we arrived. I noted the place Edward hid the key but told myself to forget. Although I had enjoyed our time in the Jackson house I knew that I couldn't come back to it. It was like my own haunted house, except instead of terror it held something far more scary, ghosts of feelings once felt and forever missed.

We walked in silence until I looked towards the busy city and questions started to bubble to the surface.

"What was it like here, after I'd gone?"

"I may not be the best person to answer that question," Edward replied stiffly as his eyes cast down to the ground.

"Maybe not but you're the one I'm asking." I tried to tease but it fell flat.

He nodded sharply and seemed to concentrate. "Esme mentioned Clara now and then. I think she was happy although she asked about you. Carlisle and Esme said we had eloped. It had helped to explain my absence." He caught my puzzled expression. "I didn't venture out the house very often."

I dipped my head in understanding. How long had I stayed in my near comatose state at Renee's?

"The librarian, I'm unsure of his name, he married a nurse Carlisle worked with. We left before he could invite us to the wedding."

We left Black lake behind and continued to head east through the forest in renewed silence. I had hoped Edward would be able to tell me a little more of the life I'd left behind but as I thought of it now perhaps I had asked too much of him.

"Why did you never visit those you'd left behind for yourself?" he asked and I looked at him swiftly before staring ahead and repeating the litany of victims I had acquired when I had tried to do such a thing.

"You overestimate my self-restraint."

"But you've succeeded in achieving the vegetarian diet."

"Yes, _now_ I have. But I've only considered myself a true vegetarian for the past twenty five years. Before then...I would last maybe a year or two, maybe even five, but then I would slip again. Sometimes I would only last a month or two."

"But you've visited Renee, Phil, Dylan, the girls. Surely you could not have done those things if you were drinking human blood, or not strong enough to withstand the thirst."

"I would never hurt them, and because of that I wouldn't visit them if I was drinking human blood. Although I once made the mistake with Dylan and I paid for it. The way the repulsion and fear filled his face when he looked at me. That was the final straw I think."

"I didn't realise you had struggled so badly," Edward said as his fingers brushed mine.

"It's harder when it's just you." I wondered if he could hear the longing in my voice. I had always wondered if I would have killed so many if I had been turned and taken in by the Cullens.

"You should have come to us. We would have helped you, more than Aslo could."

"Yes I'm sure that would have been a much better option, running to you to fix my problems, staying in the same house as you and Bella, abandoning the man I'd loved and trusted for over a hundred years." I retaliated with an extra dose of sarcasm and spite.

"Does my relationship with Bella bother you?" Edward asked with an innocent expression. Unfortunately I wasn't blind to the smug glint in his eyes.

"No, Edward. _She_ bothers me, but that is no secret, is it." I locked my jaw as I steamed over his question but most of all my Freudian slip.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I asked that. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable especially when you have made your feelings quite clear."

"No matter. Let's just forget about it." I huffed. I mostly wanted to forget about the small voice inside whispering that my wish to be friends was just a lie, a pretence to enable me to keep up this bizarre relationship.

"Of course." He smiled.

I felt my phone buzz and checked it to see a few missed calls and text messages from the others. Alice was most concerned that I had forgotten that I was meant to be her dress up doll today.

"We should return home."

"There's just one more place to visit. If you will."

"How far is it?"

"Do you not recognise this place?" he asked with mild excitement.

I looked around me but could find no part of it that called to my memories. I hadn't visited this area very often since becoming a vampire and my human memories, although intact, were still faint with time.

Edward took my hand and this time I allowed him to. He led me on a winding path and I followed without complaint.

It didn't take me long to see the small cottage emerge from the thick forest that surrounded it.

"The cottage, of course." I grinned and left Edward behind to run to the front door. My fingers trailed the old wooden door with eager reverence. I had loved this place, both for what it had given me and what he had symbolised. It had been the heart of my fresh start, the place for lovers' daydreams and independence.

"Can we get in?" I asked as Edward slowly came to join me. I wondered if this place held the same feeling for him as they did for me.

"I gave you the key," he said simply.

I dug through my jeans pockets until I found the items I'd been looking for. With a swift flick of my wrist and carefully calculated pressure I used the two hair pins I'd found to ease the lock open. We could have broken in but I didn't want to cause any damage.

"That was quick. Someone may think you've done such a thing before." Edward teased.

"Am I to believe you haven't?"

"I always found my charm and winning smile got me into most places I wished to be," he replied with an all too familiar crooked grin.

"The bad thing is that I believe you." I laughed as I stepped through the door and poured my gaze over the place I had once called home.

"How did I ever cook on that thing?" I giggled as I passed a glance over the kitchen and the old fashioned hot plate stove. Next my hands travelled over the dusty but smooth kitchen table, my fingertips catching on the pits on the table top. I touched the seat I used to sit in, almost expecting to still feel the warmth of my once human body.

The bathroom looked as if it had been cleaned. The brass fittings gleamed and the porcelain shone. I traced the intricate carvings of the frame on the mirror, staring in it and half imaging my human self looking back. As I stepped out the bathroom I saw Edward stretched out on the bed like he used to all those years ago. Of course now there were no white covers or plush pillows. There wasn't even a mattress, just the strong brass casing and barred frame.

I touched the shining sphere that sat atop one of the bed's four posts.

"It's strange. It still feels like home. Like mine."

"That's because it is yours. It always has been, it's just been waiting for you to return." Edward shifted and made a move for me to join him. I went willingly.

The bed creaked quietly as I settled myself beside Edward, lying on my side with my head propped on my elbow.

"How did you know I would feel this way?"

"Because I feel it too. This has always been your place but it's always offered me a feeling of contentment."

"You make it sound like you've come here often."

"Not often, but now and then."

"Thank you for bringing me here." I whispered as I touched his hand.

"Thank you for coming with me," he said as he took my hand in his. I didn't take it back. Maybe it was this place, but it felt right to have my hand in his. We felt right together.

When the dead of night came we left the cottage and went our separate ways. Edward went north to Forks and I went east back to Jackson Lake and the friends I had waiting for me there. We didn't say our goodbyes because we knew as of this moment neither of us would ever truly leave the other again.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

A few days passed until anymore news came from Forks. I spent most of that time with the Cullens, shopping with Alice, laughing with Emmett, wrestling with Jasper, reminiscing with Carlisle, bitching with Rosalie. Esme even convinced me to try my hand at cooking, although it was clear that my basic ability had certainly not improved since my human days. There was no need to think when I was with them. It wasn't like when I was with the Denalis. There wasn't the undercurrent of loneliness that I so often felt when I watched them in their pairs. With the Cullens it was different, it was like family.

"Could you pass me the floral fabric, sweetie?" Esme asked from the drawing board. She had decided the house needed updating and she wasn't doing it by half.

I reached over the back of the sofa and threw the segment of curtain fabric towards her, smiling as she caught it effortlessly without looking.

"Anyone heard what's happening on the Bella front?" Emmett asked into the bustling room as we battled on the latest war game. I could remember the days when remotes and controllers were the things used. Now sensors and projectors immersed you in the game, filling every sense.

"As far as I know the funeral was yesterday, although I'm unsure as to when they'll return," Carlisle said gravely over the top of his book.

"Did they get the flowers we sent? I had to use a different name just in case." Alice piped up from Esme's side.

"Yes, Edward said Bella greatly appreciated them. It's been hard on her, being unable to properly attend the funeral but the Quileutes held a separate ceremony so they were able to pay their respects."

I tried not to pay too much attention to the conversation around me. I wondered if they knew Bella and Edward had argued, that she had banished him from her side on the way to Forks. I knew Edward was with her now, but I couldn't help but ponder whether or not the Cullens knew he had been with me while his mourning wife ran on without him.

"Ha! Game over, Saz," Emmett hollered as my character collapsed to the ground. I felt the sensors in my hands grow cold, matching the temperature of my body. To any other human it would be the temperature of death.

"You should have taken to higher ground, darlin', take the tactical advantage." Jasper teased as I eased the glove-like sensors off my hand.

"Well then, General, suit up and show me how it's done." I smiled as he took the challenge and Emmett whooped at the opportunity of a new player.

"I say we leave the boys to play their little game, don't you Sarelle?" Rosalie drawled as she lifted her sculpted body from the pristine white chaise-longue.

"This ain't no little boy's game, woman. This is a man's game!" Emmett grinned as he flexed and took on the fighting stance.

"Sure, baby," she purred. I chuckled and followed Rose out of the room, leaving the sounds of guns and shouting behind.

"He'll not leave that screen for the next 12 hours. He has this thing for completing all the levels as quickly as possible. I think he has some challenge going with some Swedish child." Rose said offhandedly as we descended to the garage. I knew it was her place to get away from things so I was surprised she'd invited me to join her in what had always been her space.

"You fit here. You know that don't you," she said in a matter of fact tone as she reached to pop the hood of her latest sports car.

"I'm happy here, but that's not to say I'm not happy with the Denalis as well."

"Oh please, you might be close but they're not family. Plus now they're all paired off you don't have to stick around to keep Tanya entertained."

I resisted my urge to flinch. I knew Rosalie didn't mean to be deliberately harsh, it was jsut her nature. Still I could help be feel a bit affronted at the idea that she thought the Denalis only kept me around to play three's a crowd.

"Rosalie, they took me in when I had nowhere to go," I said with an exasperated chuckle.

"They wouldn't have had to if you'd come to us." There was a sour note in her words.

"You know I couldn't."

"You were our Sarelle first, and you know how much I hate to share," she said as she palmed a wrench absentmindedly.

"What's the meaning of this, Rose? It's been months since you all got here. I thought you'd all be used to the way things are by now."

"We've all been thinking it. The others said to give you time, space to adjust to things. They're always waiting for things to happen, it's tiring. Just because we have all the time in the world doesn't mean we have to spend it procrastinating."

"Trust you to be the one to go striding into the situation, shiny Gucci shoes and all."

"You're avoiding giving me an answer. Are you going to be with the people you belong with, or are you going to keep trying to avoid the love birds." She flicked her long blonde hair with an air of success. She was so sure of herself.

"I can't. You know that," I appealed.

"Why?" Her arms crossed as she questioned me.

"This house is full to capacity already." My own arms crossed as our parry began.

"We can move." She hand battered away my comment as if insignificant.

"Nine vampires would be too conspicuous."

"Minor detail. Carlisle would come up with some reason for there being so many of us."

"You're all couples. It would be no different to staying with the Denalis."

"We're family. You're my sister. Esme goes so far into mother hen mode when you're around that she could start clucking. Emmett thinks you're like the sister he lost."

"I know and it's not that I don't love you all. It's just—" I couldn't find the right words to tell her why I couldn't just join them. It wasn't just my love for the Denalis that kept me there.

"It's Edward, isn't it."

"Honestly, Rose, can you really see me, Edward, and Bella all living together, happily ever after?"

"I would like to," she said with a smirk. Only she would see the situation as humorous.

I smiled sadly and she surrendered with a sigh.

"I'll get my way eventually." She grinned

"I'm sure, but it won't be anytime soon. Otherwise I fear dear little Isabella wouldn't reach her hundredth." I turned to leave as she fiddled with the fuel pump and shut the hood.

"Emmett she said no," she said as we went back up the stairs. Emmett met us at the top, a pout on his face.

"Don't look at me like that." A wide smile soon spread on his face.

"If you're not going to live with us then you can at least hunt with us." I noticed the rest of the Cullens gathering.

"I would love to, but I'd promised Aslo I would go with him later. I've hardly seen him recently."

"Lovebirds," Rose muttered with a sly smile on her face.

"Will you be back tomorrow, sweetie?" Esme asked with a hopeful look on her face.

"Of course, Esme," I leant forward to hug her goodbye.

"Good. I was hoping you'd give me your opinion on the colours for the study."

"Perhaps we could go to that new antique shop. I'd love to get a window seat."

"That sounds perfect."

With that I waved goodbye and left for the Denali house.

When I was close, the lake on my right and the Cullen's house disappearing behind the trees, I smelt her. Ren and her wolf, that mix of peculiar humanity and earthy wet dog.

I stopped at the water's edge, the most inshore curve of the bay before it stretched out again in the lake. I could see my destination nestled on the water front, hidden from human eyes by the natural wood cladding and the tall trees that stretch well above the second floor.

Soon enough Ren appeared, her bronze hair bouncing around her face as her body came to a standstill. The wolf lurked beside her, his dark eyes watching me like always. It was rare that I ever heard Jacob talk. He didn't seem at ease here. I knew he was part of the Cullen family but I wouldn't surprised if he was slowly working on persuading Ren to move away from her family.

"You're home. I thought you wouldn't be back for a few more days," I said after Ren hugged me in greeting. She seemed more tactile than other vampires I'd met. Then again she wasn't truly a vampire.

"Forks was getting a little claustrophobic, wasn't it Jakey." She tickled the wolf's ears as he nuzzled close to her side. I couldn't believe I would ever fully understand their relationship. It seemed more like owner and pet, or dog and master than lovers. Perhaps their passion lay far beneath, away from the surface.

"Bella must be finding it hard." I commented for conversation sake. I still wasn't used to the way Ren looked at me. It was very intent, almost in awe. It made me uncomfortable to have her so eager to see me.

"Dad's with her." I wasn't sure what to make of the tone of her voice but she soon brightened. "Why aren't you with the others? I would have thought Alice would have you trapped in her wardrobe." She chuckled lightly.

"I'm doing a runner." I grinned. "They've went out to hunt but I'd promised Aslo to join him."

"Oh, so no one's home?" Ren seemed disappointed.

"I'm sure they won't be long, or you could catch up with them."

"Oh god no. I can't go hunting in these jeans. They're vintage, my mother's." She stroked the soft blue material proudly. "Could I maybe come to yours? I'd love to see the others. It seems like ages." She widened her brown eyes in what I'm sure she thought was innocent. For all the things I'd taught her she was still very dependent on playing the young, sweet, and innocent role.

"If you're sure you wouldn't rather go home." I said reluctantly. I liked Ren but that was because I saw her in small doses. Plus there was the wolf to think about.

"Jake, why don't you go hunt with the others? It might help you relax," she cooed and the wolf trotted off with no complaint.

We started the run back in silence but Ren didn't stay quiet for long.

"I'm so glad to be back. I'd forgotten how small Forks was. You'd think it would have grown, like here, but it's still just a small town with the same old small town ways."

"Sometimes things are perfect just the way they are. They don't need to change."

"I guess, but sometimes people need to know when to let go of the past and move on. Don't you think?" I shrugged as I walked through the front door, stepping out of my shoes with Ren behind me.

"Anybody home?" I asked into the air but silence replied.

"No wonder you spend so much time at ours. It must be so lonely being the only one without someone, always left behind," Ren commented vaguely. I frowned and padded through to the bright and sunny study.

"I'm used to it by now. I don't need to always have people around."

"That must be nice. I can't stand being on my own. That's why I'm so glad I've got Jake." She sighed and wandered over to the window, a wistful look on her face as she looked out through the trees to the lake beyond.

I tinkled a few of the piano keys longingly. I wanted Ren to leave, to take her words that jabbed and jibed and leave me in peace. I knew she probably didn't mean to sound the way she did, but nonetheless I just wanted it to be me and the piano, just for a little while. Especially after the conversation I had with Rosalie. I needed time to think not listen.

"Oh, let me show you something." Ren gasped as she rushed over to the piano and plonked herself on the wooden seat with a little less respect than I would have liked.

I stepped away and swallowed my annoyance. I had to remind myself that this was just how Ren was. You couldn't keep her out.

"I've been practising. When we went back we stayed at our little cottage in the woods. It was the same one we lived in when I was young. It was a gorgeous little place. The perfect place for our perfect little family. Anyway, Dad bought me this little piano. He'd always wanted me to learn like him. It needed some tuning but we soon sorted that out so I got to practice while Mom and Dad visited the various people they wanted to see." She rushed through the words as she played a light sonata. It was pretty, and technically perfect, but it didn't have the same passion Edward had when he played.

"You must be a natural." I paid her the compliment she wanted and gave her the smile to make it seem sincere. It wasn't her fault that I felt this way. She hadn't meant any harm when she invited herself here.

"You've never said if you have a favourite piece," she said as she looked up from the piano keys.

She moved as I sat to take her place. My fingers played the tune effortlessly and Ren watched intently.

"Serenata dell'angelo," she murmured as she looked at me.

"You've heard of it," I asked cautiously.

"Dad plays it all the time." Her eyes seemed to lock me in their sights. "It was written for you wasn't it."

I flinched with shock. "What makes you think that?"

"There's no need to lie, Sarelle. I know all about you. I have done for a while now."

"Did Edward tell you?" I couldn't believe that he would do such a thing.

"Of course not. He doesn't even know that I know. None of them do. But you see I found this document one day, and I read it, and there it all was. Daddy's little secret."

I tensed and waited for the accusations and the name calling but it never came.

"Why haven't you told Bella? I'm sure she'd want to know."

"No she wouldn't. That and I'm not going to risk losing the family I've got just because you and Dad have history. He could have waited for you but he didn't, he chose my mom instead."

"That's a very pragmatic approach, but I can't help but wonder why you would want to be around me given that you know your father and I are keeping a secret from your mother."

"Well at first I was curious. I, what did you call it, kept my friends close but my enemies closer." She smiled at me before continuing. "Then I got to know you a bit better and I suppose I decided you weren't much of a threat."

"So why tell me what you know? Why not just keep it to yourself?"

"It didn't seem right. They keep that document buried up in Carlisle's office like it's some sordid secret. That didn't seem fair to you, and I couldn't show it to you without you knowing that I knew. You see."

"Why would they have a document on me?" I pondered out loud.

"Come with me, I'll show you it."

It didn't take long for us to get back to the Cullen's house and as I thought they were still out. The house was silent which was an eerie change from the previous welcoming bustle.

I followed Ren upstairs and into Carlisle's office, pushing aside the uncomfortable feeling of being there without his knowledge.

She rummaged behind one of the drawers and pressed a hidden button which caused a secret compartment to slide out.

"Carlisle keeps all the different identity documents here. I've seen him open it before," she explained as she thumbed through the pieces of paper before pulling free an old dossier.

"Here we go: the known and recorded history of Miss Sarelle St Clair." Ren handed it to me and it landed with a dull thump in my hands.

"It's full of memories they have of meeting you, newspaper cuttings that mention someone that fits your description, things they've heard from other people. Stuff like that."

I flicked through the worn pieces of paper quickly, barely noticing the words written, except for the dates and names. I remembered some events, but others I didn't recognise.

"What is this one? It mentions some vampire named Victoria?" I queried.

"15th June 2006, that was the day Victoria attacked. She created an army of newborns to take out the family," Ren recited. I wondered how many times she'd read these pages. "Apparently one of the wolves reported an unknown scent, but it could have been any one of the newborns. I'm surprised they even put it in here."

I pushed the pages back at her as my concern rose. Why hadn't they told me? Why had they started it in the first place? Was I just an experiment to them? I puzzle to unpick and piece together?

"You should put it back. They'll be home soon."

"Are you sure you don't want to take it with you? They won't know." She offered me the pages but I turned to leave.

"You should never have shown me it."

"I thought you should know."

"Maybe, but I didn't need to." With that I left, my mind churning over everything that had happened in the short space of fifteen minutes.

Could I trust Ren? She said she understood, that she knew I wasn't a threat. She trusted me, didn't she? That was foolish of her. I couldn't be trusted, especially when it came to Edward. Did she know we had been meeting in secret? Was that why she made her knowledge known? I couldn't think. All that was circling my mind was the possibility that the loyalties I had thought were true may now have been built on lies all along.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: Short but necessary. If you're still reading then I thank you for your patience and determination. Please let me know what you think if you have the time. :)

"She knows, Edward. She knows so this has to end." I hissed down the phone as I glared out from the cliff. The few hours since Ren's revelation had only amplified the feelings that hit when I first set eyes on the Cullens' document. Now I was fighting hard to keep myself in control. A jump fuelled by these kinds of violent thoughts could be reversed but the scars they often left on the landscape could not. I didn't want to leave more destruction behind me.

"I don't understand. Who are you talking about?" I heard him whisper as he left a bustling room. I wondered where he and his precious wife were. Amongst friends? Family? Well-wishers to pride Bella on her love for her father and tell her how much he cared for her? They probably wouldn't tell her of how he missed her, felt the betrayal of her departure from both his life and humanity. I could only speculate since I didn't know him, but I'd seen enough of the world to take a guess.

"Your daughter," I murmured through tight lips.

"You must be mistaken. I would know." Edward sounded affronted. Of course to him she was an open book. She would never keep secrets from him, or so he thought.

"You would believe your own perception of her rather than me?"

"I'm not looking to fight with you, Sarelle. If you say she knows then I'll believe you. It's just hard to understand how she could have found out."

"I'm sure you'll figure it out," I muttered as my mind flashed with the pages of the documented past. It was like some science project of my life, and he still had the gall to act oblivious. "Either way we can't keep sneaking around. Not anymore. It just makes us seem guilty, and what do we have to feel guilty about?"

"Nothing, but you know it isn't the guilt that causes us to keep our meetings secret." His voice was so soft and mellow. It wasn't the voice of a friend.

"What is the reason then, Edward? We're friends. We can't be accused of anything more." A sudden tiredness overtook me. We had trodden this path many times in the months of our renewed friendship. I'd paced it even more times in those few moments I had alone. It seemed we were always walking with our heads bowed down to the ground, missing what was in front of us. Or perhaps we didn't want to see where we were going because that way we could claim surprise and ignorance when we found ourselves in a place we hadn't meant to be. Maybe ignorance truly was bliss.

"I alone can't answer that. You've kept us a secret as much as I have. Not even Aslo knows." That smug tone was back in his voice, and I bit down on the anger that rose in my throat.

"This isn't right, Edward. Friends don't do this."

"I know." He sighed. I could almost hear his hand running through his hair.

I felt an all familiar stab of longing, the force of it causing my eyes to shut as if I could somehow shut out the feelings.

"If we can't be anything other than this then maybe we can't be friends," I whispered as the realisation of the words sunk heavy on my shoulders. I had been happy these past months. When I had been with him it had felt like a weight had been lifted. It seemed only now as it fell back into place that I realised just how light I had been.

The stunned silence on the other side of line broke with a heavy gasp. "I'll change. I'll try harder. I promise."

His gushing words only made the hurt worse. I shouldn't feel this way. He shouldn't sound so desperate. We should never have gotten to this place.

"It won't work."

"Will you at least try? I don't want to just cut you out my life." His desperation was turning to anger. I could hear it in the way his words broke and deepened.

"I don't either, but I think we need some time apart. _I _need some time apart."

"Time, I can do that."

"It wasn't a request, Edward." I joked half-heartedly.

I heard his soft chuckle followed by a distant sigh. "Goodbye. For now."

"Goodbye."

I hung up and sucked in a deep breath. My chest felt tight, and even though I had no need for the air that filled my lungs, it felt like I couldn't get enough. It was a sense of claustrophobia. A crushing fear that seemed to constrict tighter with ever second. Something was brewing and it scared me because there was an intensity, an anxious excitement, that came with it.

I took off back to the house, my body switching between the urge to shout in rage and scream with delight. I was spiralling and I knew the rabbit hole I was caught in all too well. I had to stop myself before I was lost to fantasies that made past dreams seem a feasible reality. Edward was not mine. I was not his. I could not be his. He was someone else's. I couldn't change that.

I burst through the front door and raced up to my room. I paced the wooden floors, my hands scraping across my scalp as the decisions and answers swirled in my head. If I let Edward have his way I would lose myself. I'd be right back to square one. But if I lost him I'd have to deal with the ache that called out for him for the rest of my immortal life. Neither option seemed the right one.

"Sarelle?" I spun with panicked eyes to see Aslo standing in the doorway.

The instant his eyes caught mine he frowned and shut the door behind him. I listened for the others but heard no sign of them. The relief I felt was a short rest bite from the turmoil.

"What's wrong, _kvetina_?" Aslo asked softly as he came towards me, his strong arms outstretched. I went to him as soon as he offered. The feel of his strong hold wrapping around me brought the comfort I'd been seeking. In his arms I could dim the buzz in my head.

A gentle hand brushed through my hair and with it brought a third alternative.

"I've missed you," he murmured into my hair. I felt him inhale softly, and I couldn't help but do the same. He scent soothed me, it always had.

"I've missed you too. More than I thought I could." I nuzzled into his chest, pulling myself tighter against him. I just wanted to stay here. Maybe then I could avoid the decision looming over me. If I could just stay with him then I wouldn't have to hurt. I wouldn't go to places I shouldn't. He would be my anchor, keeping me where I should be.

As the comforting thoughts crowded my mind I felt a fizzle run up my spine. My hand spread up his back, running around his neck to feel his strong jaw line in my palms. My eyes caught his and behind the confusion I saw that little something that I had only noticed a handful of times. It was a softness, a warmth, that was so often absent from his sarcastic stare.

"You've been here, all this time." I breathed as my fingers played with the thick curls on the back of neck.

"And I always will be. You know that, don't you?" He seemed worried but still there was that glowing smile in his eyes.

My gaze fell to the soft skin on his lower lip. When I was young and impulsive I had wondered what it would feel like to taste that skin, to feel it on mine. I had always blamed such thoughts on the blood rush, the hormone-like surges that coursed through me at times. Now the urge was fuelled by something else. A need to flee an unwanted decision? A need for comfort? A realisation?

I felt my body move of its own accord. I reached up, my eyes fixed on that lower lip which promised to fix so many problems.

I felt his body shift, his head lowering to mine. The fizzle that had once danced along my spine now trickled back down, whispering of carnal pleasures that had once been forbidden.

An unneeded breath sucked passed my lips before I felt his touch mine. My fists clenched in his hair, fixing him to me in desperation. I needed him to cure me of these feelings for Edward that bubbled under that surface.

I traced his lower lip tentatively with my tongue. He tasted of wild mint and that cool freshness of wintery mountains where he'd been born and raised. I crushed myself closer still.

A heavy moaned broke from him and with it came clarity. I stepped back in shock and shame.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." I gasped as my hand touched my mouth, the kiss seeming to have left the stinging sensation of embarrassment behind.

"Sarelle, I—" Aslo started but I rushed to gather my phone, money, and old leather bag.

"Don't, Aslo, please. I couldn't take it if you tried to reason out what just happened. I should never have done it. You're with Tanya. I know that. I'm happy for you. Please just forget it ever happened." With that I rushed out the house and ran. The familiar electricity within sparking with each step.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: Please excuse any faults or flaws it was written in a bit of a hurry and in the dark. On a side note. I've started writing Aslo's story. It won't be as fully formed as this one but it will have various snap shots of his life both with and without Sarelle. If you're interested in reading it then search for: The Troublesome Tale of Aslo Finn.

**This is a repost in an attempt to remove some of the grammar faults.**

The jumps came fast and hard. I arrived in each place with a forceful pulse. It thumped me in the chest with a power that would wind any human. I hadn't done this in so long, it felt almost freeing. I watched as each memory played out in my head and delivered me to the exact same spot. Just a fleeting moment but it was like living my life all over again. I smelt the hot dusty aroma of De Soto, the sharp fresh breeze of Ashland, even the dirty scent of an alley in Florida. I knew when I finally settled my eyes would hold fragments that even humans would be able to see but I didn't care. I needed this. I needed to be reset, to clear my head. Only now, after reliving all that I'd done, did I know I'd lost myself these past few months. Maybe even since I was reborn. I let myself forget the most precious of lessons: don't waste time as you can never get it back. Ever since my awakening I'd mourned the loss of Edward so much so that I let it coat every one of my thoughts and feelings ever since. I'd searched for him and the Cullens. I'd strained mine and Aslo's relationship with constant comparisons between us and them. I hadn't been myself. But now I could remember what it felt like to be my human self. I was strong back then, optimistic, resilient. I had lived in the moment, taken what I wanted when I wanted. I never sat back and watched as opportunity got away. So why was I doing it now?

As soon as they had started the jumps stopped. I knew I wasn't back to where I should be but I needed some time to calm down, allow my body to relax and regenerate.

I took a deep breath as I surveyed the forest around me. I knew this place. It was the first place I had jumped to after I killed my parents. Forks. Not the meadow, but definitely the same forest. It had that sweet but wet scent that I'd learnt to associate with any forest the Cullens had once inhabited. They left their trails everywhere.

I ran my hands through my hair, pushing them through and shaking them out to relieve the last of the buzz. I passed them over my sides, smoothing the green wraparound top I was wearing.

Strangely it wasn't until I stepped to move that I smelt it but nonetheless it caught my attention instantly. Wolf. Or more to the point, wolves. I recognised the scent instantly. All too vividly it reminded me of Jacob. I couldn't help but remember the shifters I'd met in Indonesia. They were so similar to the wolves that lived in Forks but their shape was more fitting for their environment. I could still remember the feeling of awe that over took me when I saw their bright golden eyes staring out from the darkness. They blended so well, their midnight fur acting as the perfect camouflage. Even Aslo had been unable to keep a stern face as the panthers encircled us. It was an experience I would never forget.

As my mind travelled down memory lane I forced myself to focus on tracking the different scents. The pack was split. I couldn't decide if that made them more or less dangerous. I followed the small group, two at most. My speed increased the higher the trail went. I could smell the fresh scent of the mountains and the sunlight was becoming more frequent. It was cold, not that it registered much on my skin.

I took another deep breath and felt venom pool on my tongue at what it brought. Lust. Blood-pounding, pulse-racing, lust.

I swallowed deeply and tried to ignore the way the pheromones drew me but despite my best efforts there was something else in the scent that pulled me towards it. I knew it. I recognised the person it belonged to.

A careful breath in confirmed my instinct. Bella was here, with a wolf. Snap judgement led me out towards the cliffs and that's when I saw them. Wolf and his weak little girl. His arms clutched her to him as she clung to him, so human. So weak.

My veins fizzled as my eyes darkened. I knew this moment. Edward had talked of it. It was strange to actually see it. I wondered how he had coped. It made me angry so I could only imagine the hurt and turmoil he was going through.

Bella was oblivious, that much was clear. Her heavy breathing showed how much she wanted the wolf. Her moans urged him on. There was no part of her that wanted Edward here.

I bit back a growl and anchored myself to a nearby tree. I wanted to pull her limb from limb for hurting him. I wanted to see her blood on my skin, hold her heart in my hand, because she didn't deserve the happily ever after that she would later get. How could he forgive her for this? How could he marry her when she'd given herself in such a way to another man? A wolf nonetheless. It was the biggest insult. No matter that she had eventually chosen him. There should never have been a doubt in her mind. She should never have let Jacob get so far into her heart. If she truly loved Edward she would have waited for him forever, done anything for him, and been the type of girl worthy of him. I told her to look after him.

Something in me snapped. No friend would be this angry. Something more was going on, whether I wanted to admit it or not.

In a rush I ran from them. Her blood was far too tempting for me to stay.

"Who do we have here?" A voice cooed and I stopped instantly. In one short moment I spotted the redhead and the two newborns that accompanied her. She was a human hunter. Her eyes matched her fiery hair.

I scanned the newborns quickly. They were young, a couple of months at most, and they were here for more than the scenery. They were hyped; I could see that from the way the dark haired man strained to stay beside the woman.

"Who are you?" I growled as I sunk into a crouch."

"We're here visiting some old friends, aren't we, Riley." The woman stroked the man's face with what was meant to be a loving caress. I could see her eyes lied. Still, Riley's face made a gruesome version of a smile.

"I thought we were here to kill the yellow eyes and their girl?" the dark haired man said and earned a hiss from the woman.

I rummaged through my memory and soon enough I connected the dots. The date in the Cullen's document, the day Victoria attack, that was today.

"You're here for Bella." I tried to keep my voice straight as I allowed myself to straighten.

Victoria quirked an eyebrow as she studied me. "You know the girl?"

I nodded, "Unfortunately."

"She is the mate of the vampire who killed my James." Victoria confirmed.

"The loss of a mate is a horrible thing," I commented vaguely.

"So you understand that they must die."

Cogs started to turn in my head and an idea started to form. A deadly idea, but I was finding it hard to care just how deadly it was.

I shook my head slowly, "Just her. Mate for mate. You know it will destroy him. What could be more tragic than a life without a mate? To see them taken from you, right before your eyes."

"I like the way you think," she said as a sly grin crept onto her face. I tried to ignore the way my stomach churned at her words. I was angry, desperate, but I wasn't cruel. Not like her.

"Still, the idea of pulling his head from his shoulders is just too satisfying to give up." The laughter which followed made a shiver dance up my spine. She wasn't going to be coerced. She wanted the violence too much.

"You'll never manage it," I ground out, causing the trio to turn back towards me.

The man who wasn't Riley laughed. "It's three against one. It'll be a piece of piss."

"Now, now, Tobias, best not to be arrogant," Victoria cooed as she examined me with predatory eyes. "He took what I loved and once I take her from him I'll take his life too."

"You'll have to get through me first," I growled as I sprung.

I took them surprise. I knew that because Tobias had barely turned so I caught him on the back. My legs wrap around his waist as my arms twined around his neck. I felt his teeth pierce my flesh but the sting of venom didn't register. I was too involved in the task at hand.

I captured his head in my hands and with a violent twist I pulled it from his body. The crack of it separating sent a sweep of adrenaline through my body.

As the surge swept through my limbs I watched as Victoria and Riley raced on ahead. I knew they would be defeated and with that relief came the release. In a rush I thought of home and allowed my body to be taken back to the place I needed most.

The sting of the venom started just as I materialised on the wooden floor of the Belmore cottage. I rubbed away the pain and looked down at the small shining crescent shape that now showed on the inner side of my elbow.

"I thought you might come here."

I didn't allow myself to jump. Instead I inhaled his scent carefully and turned with a smile. I was me again. I knew that now and what's more I knew who he was to me now. I could finally be the girl I once was.

"I should have known you would come for me," I said knowingly as Edward gazed up at me from his seat at the kitchen table.

"Tanya said you had left. You said you wouldn't leave."

"It was never going to be permanent. You knew I needed time," I scolded lightly. I was over being angry at him.

"I thought time meant we didn't talk, not that you ran off the other side of the country."

"Does Bella know you're here?" Her name stuck in my throat, but eventually I forced it out. I wanted to know his answer. It was as if I was waiting on a victory.

"She's visiting the Quileutes. I said I was visiting Seattle, shopping." I fought not to show my elation at his confession.

"So you lied."

He rose slowly to stand beside me, both of us watching the other closely. "I don't want the others to know. I don't want them to speculate and have to listen to their opinions in their heads. I've only just got you back in my life. I just want to enjoy that. Just for a little while." He took a tentative step forward. I knew he wanted to come closer but something was stopping him.

"You think I don't feel the same? You think that I don't wish nothing else existed and we could just be together without the consequences?" I was interested to know his answer. Had I led him to think I cared nothing for him?

"I don't know what you think. You never tell me things. You never let me know how you feel, or what you think." Another anxious step forward. "I miss those days when you sued to be so open. When you let me in." I contemplated the passion in his eyes. How had I managed to ignore it so much these past few months?

I crossed my arms as I examined him further. "I was only fifteen then. I may not have been a normal teenager but I still only had fifteen year's worth of experience to guide me. I loved you and that was all that mattered." I wasn't angry, or annoyed even. I was just curious as to what he wanted from me. I wanted to know if he'd given up on us.

"And now everything has changed." His head drooped but I caught it with my palm against his cheek. I was done with playing nice.

"Not everything," I whispered as my eyes searched his.

"Those eyes. They haven't changed. They still hold so many secret. So many puzzles." His thumb passed across my cheek and I allowed myself to give in to the urge to lean into his touch. "I could have spent days staring into the, when we were together, just trying to know you better." His brow furrowed and I wondered how he could ever have thought he didn't know me.

"You knew me, Edward. You still know me."

"No. Not really. There were times in your life that were a mystery to me. Things you kept hidden."

"Were?" I stiffened at his use of past tense.

"Why didn't you ever tell me, Sarelle?"

I took a step back as his words started to sink in. He knew something he shouldn't. "What did you mean by _were_ a mystery?"

His face twisted with guilt. "You had been gone for what seemed like a lifetime, and then suddenly there was a part of you left behind. Something I could remember you by."

"What are you talking about?" I questioned but already my mind had answered my question. I'd left my bag with Rosalie and Emmett on the day we went to Volterra. I'd left everything with them, my photo album, my clothes, and my diary.

"You didn't," I gasped. "Please tell me you didn't."

He reached out to me but I couldn't go to him.

"You don't understand. I hadn't seen you in so long and things were so confused with Bella. And then Rosalie found it and I couldn't resist. I tried but I was too weak."

"It was my diary, Edward! It was private. It still is. You should never have read it." I couldn't help but panic. I had kept those secrets hidden for so many years that I thought they were behind me now. I had never wanted Edward to know.

"I know I shouldn't, Sarelle, and for that I'm sorry. But on another point, I shouldn't have had to. I read it because there were times when I would hear things. Things Esme would worry about or Rosalie would fume over, things you should have told me about yourself. I shouldn't have found out about them from words written on a diary page."

I tried to confront him, tell him it was wrong, but I couldn't. Deep down I knew he was right and that realisation brought a shame that silenced me.

I felt him come closer and soon enough his hand found mine. "Sarelle, talk to me," he murmured softly.

"I never wanted you to know," I said quietly as I looked at the floor.

"Why?" I looked up at him with a sarcastic glance.

"Surely you understand why, you read my diary after all."

He laughed softly but it was tired, empty. "Why would you ever think that what they did…how they hurt you… would ever make me think any less of you. That I would love you any less." His hand squeezed mine, and I allowed myself to look into his eyes. There was no judgement there. None of the disgust I had expected.

"It made sense at the time. In my mind I was less than I once was. I was dirty, ugly. They'd left their mark. I guess I just loved the way you treated me too much to risk losing it by telling you." It felt silly now to say it. I felt his fingers pass over the new scar and I tensed as he turned my arm for a better view.

"How did this happen?"

I sighed as the lie formed on my tongue. "It was years ago." I traced the crescent shape softly, the pain now a distant thought. "Just another imperfection," I said with a half-smile.

"No such thing. To me you have always been perfect. Nothing could ever change that. Nothing." He raised my arm and kissed the mark sending a sizzle to the pit of my stomach.

"How can you forgive me so easily? After all that I've done, the lies, the mistakes?"

"It's simple. I love you." The words travelled softly on his voice but the emotion they caused to swell was strong.

"I think I love you too," I said and there was not an ounce of doubt in my mind. I was in control now and I wasn't going to waste any more time.


	21. Chapter 21

_Disclaimer: I do not own any Twilight characters that pop up in this story. I've just borrow them for the sake of not having to invent my own :P Although I have taken the time to come up with the original characters written._

**A/N: Firstly, I think an apology is in order. I had never meant for this update to take so long but somehow days tick by, and before you know it it's been so long that you've lost that essence that caused you to start writing the story in the first place. I thought it was gone for good and that I was going to have to do the unthinkable and leave this story unfinished. However, you kept reading, and reviewing, and your patience and enthusiasm sparked my imagination all over again. So I would like to thank you, each and every one of you. This chapter was written because of you, and for you, and it has never been more true than now that if it weren't for your support these words may never have been written.**

**I hope you enjoy it, and I promise to never leave it so long to update again.**

**Happy reading.**

**I x**

Like the last time we were here, Edward left the little cottage at dusk without me. We both knew it would attract too much attention to return together. We didn't kiss goodbye, or clutch each other in a tight embrace, instead we shared one last longing glance. It would have to be enough for now.

After Edward left, I finally paid attention to the increasing number of missed calls that flashed up on my phone. A few were from Alice, more than likely questioning why I had never returned as promised. A couple were from the Denalis who had probably called at Alice's request. They very rarely contacted me when I went away. It was as if they just knew I needed my space. Of course my disappearances didn't bother them the way it seemed to affect the Cullens. That being said the Denalis had never truly lot me . I always came back in some state or another, and I was always fine. The Cullens didn't have the same experience.

I continued to scroll down the list and dread started to set in. Aslo's name dominated and I could see that for every unanswered call it spawned two more. I had spent so long in Edward's bubble that I'd almost forgotten the mess I'd left home. A flash of Aslo's face filled my mind. How could I have kissed him? How could I have done that to our friendship, to Tanya? I had used him purely to make myself feel better, to distract me from the building feelings I had for Edward.

As I ran my thumb over his name I could almost feel his concern. How selfless he was to still worry for me despite the disregard and disrespect I had shown our friendship. As much as the thought of returning to the real world unnerved me, I owed him more than a phone call.

I took a brief shower to wash away Edward's scent and surveyed the cottage one last time before shutting the door. I knew the words that had been said within were for those walls only, but I still felt a skip in my step as I started towards home. There was hope for Edward and I to have our happy ending. Somehow. As I ran towards home, my head filled with daydreams. Daydreams of a happily ever after.

Unfortunately each step brought me further from those dreams and closer to the harsh reality of what I had started by confessing my feelings for Edward. As I neared Colter Bay I took my phone from the pocket in my jeans and crushed it in my hand. Aslo would be suspicious as to why I didn't answer if my phone were still intact. I didn't want to answer his questions as to why I ignored my phone, or my prolonged absence, or the smile that refused to leave my face. As I thought of Aslo and the lies I would have to tell him, I wondered how Edward have explained his absence, whether his original story of shopping in Seattle would be enough to stop the questions.

In trepidation struck and the smile on my face fell as I bit my lip and opened the door. My foot had yet to even touch the floorboards of home when I was grasped in Aslo's arms. My greeting choked in my throat and I let my arms wind around his waist as I felt him take in a deep breathe.

"Kventina," he breathed on my neck. "Moje kvetina."

"I'm sorry." I replied and it seemed to wake him from whatever state he had fallen into. He stepped back, but never out of reach. His eyes watched me closely with an intensity he so rarely showed me.

"You left."

"I know, I..." He cut me off as if my words didn't register.

"I rang, over and over, yet no answer. You always answer yet this time I was met with silence." He stepped towards me again, looming over me, his darkened eyes staring into mine with his emotions laid bare.

"I'm sorry. My phone broke. I didn't realise you had rang so many times." It felt off lying to Aslo. I wondered if it showed in my voice.

"That's all you have to say after running off like you did? What was I to think? You come to me in that state and then you disappear without a word, or a second glance. How could you? After all we've been through how could you just walk away after that?" He seemed to bite his tongue because his words stopped just as abruptly as they had started.

"I was ashamed for what I had done. I had never meant for it to happen." I couldn't bring myself to look at him as the memory of the kiss passed through my mind. His hand touched the nape of my neck, his way of encouraging my eyes to his.

"Why would you be ashamed?"

"Don't try to comfort me, Aslo. I know the kiss was wrong and I am truly sorry I put you in that position. I know you and Tanya are together, and I know we are nothing more than friends. I know those things. What I don't know is why I did what I did. I didn't mean to and I would honestly be so grateful if we could just go back to before. If you can forgive me, that is." I stopped fiddling with the edge of my top and glanced back up when my words were met with silence.

My movement seemed to snap him out of his reverie and a gentle smile slowly grew on his face. "Of course, kvetina, all is forgotten and forgiven."

I smiled at his words, trying to ignore the flatness that ran in the undertone. Maybe my own guilt was just imagining it, there could be no other reason for it.

He stepped back, this time further than before, just out of reach. "I was going to go hunt if you would care to join," he asked with a politeness he rarely used with me. His invitation was almost half-hearted.

"I hunted on my way back. I was actually going to go and see Alice. I disappeared on her too."

He nodded an made his way towards the large sliding doors at the back of the house. "How did you break your phone? You're always so careful with it," he asked over his shoulder.

"It fell out while I was hunting. Completely unusable."

He nodded although I was almost certain he knew I wasn't speaking the truth. "You should replace it soon,"

"Of course. Where are the others?" I asked conversationally.

"The Cullens. I told them I would stay here. To wait for you," he said bluntly before taking off into the forest. It was then I knew this was probably the first time he had hunted since I left.

I took a deep unnecessary breath. On some levels our conversation had gone better than I had thought it would but there seemed to be something off that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

I ran up to my room and changed into a free-flowing red dress that skimmed my hips and fell to slightly above my knees. It was one of my favourites, if not a little plain. I slipped on a black cardigan and shoes before running a brush through my hair. I knew as I applied cherry lip balm and mascara that I was no longer just tidying up my appearance, or changing out of muddy clothes. I was making an effort, and I knew why. I also knew how foolish it probably was to do so, but my time with Edward at the cottage beat down my reason. I was going to the Cullens' house, and he would be there, and that thought made me almost feel like the teenage girl I was meant to be.

_Just be calm._ I thought as I left the house mere minutes after returning to it. I didn't run through the forest as I usually would. Instead, I followed the road to their house. As I spied the impressive house, I remembered the last time I was there and the events that had been triggered by that visit. It was hard to believe that I had been so worked up over that document that resided in Carlisle's drawer. Now that I thought of it, it was nothing more than the notes he used to make on the tests we conducted. Perhaps it was the fact Ren showed me, or the fact it was a secret, that our history was a secret. Really though I knew the real reason was that the document held the key to revealing mine and Edward's relationship to Bella. It was because it was secret that Bella knew nothing of the history Edward and I had together. Did I really want her to know about it all?

A resounding 'no' echoed in my head as Emmett opened the door and welcomed me inside.

"Well look who it is," he said to the group as he clapped me on the back. "Where did you disappear to?"

"Did you miss me that much, Emmett?" I teased as I dodged his question. However the cheeky smile I portrayed faltered a I looked through down to the room as the far end of the house. I could see Bella and Edward sitting on a ruby sofa, her leant against him as she read while his hands played with her hair where it spilled across his lap. It was as if nothing had changed, at least not for him.

Alice caused my switch in attention as she blocked my view of Bella and Edward.

"You promised to spend the day with me but then you ran off without telling anyone." She pouted playfully as she spoke but it did nothing to dim the anger that was seething below my surface. He told me he loved me. He had done over and over again, but did it all mean nothing?

"Sometimes promises are broken, Alice. Everything is not perfect all of the time." I could hear my rage so I knew they could to. I watched as Alice's eyes turned from sorrow to suspicion as she cast a glance at Carlisle who was making his way down the large curving star case.

I shook my head to clear it. Alice had done nothing wrong. She hadn't lied or played me for a fool.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I didn't mean it. I should probably go."

"What's going on, Sarelle?" Alice asked as her little hand grasped my arm lightly.

"Would you mind helping Esme with the Christmas decorations, Alice, I think Sarelle and I should talk," Carlisle interrupted, and I felt both relieved and nervous all at once.

"I'm sorry I've been so rude. I should really just go, Carlisle. I'll talk to you tomorrow." I uttered quickly as Edward and Bella came back into view.

Before Carlisle had a chance to reply I hurried out the house. I heard him followed but my pace quickened.

"Sarelle, stop. Please." His fatherly tone hit me somewhere at my core and I felt myself slow to a halt.

I cast a glance behind me and sure enough he came to a stop in front of me.

"I think we need to talk." there was a punch of authority in his voice and for the first time in a long time I saw him more as my father than my friend.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle. I don't know what's going with me at the moment," I mumbled.

"I think I know," he said as he slipped his hand into his suit jacket and pulled the document out. " I was hoping to come to you and discuss this but now is as good as any. I believe you have seen this."

I nodded as I eyed the paper. " Ren showed it to me. I thought mine and Edwards past relationship was your dirty family secret. I'm surprised you allowed Ren to me inform of such a thing." I was being irrational and I knew it, but the image of Bella and Edward in my head fuelled my bitterness.

"We have never thought of you as a regret, Sarelle, nor some mistake meant to be hidden. It hurts that you would think such a thing," he scolded mildly as he stepped towards me.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle," I sighed as I bowed my head.

"Don't apologise. Explain." He indicated a fallen tree and I joined him on it.

I smoothed my dress as I tried to form an answer. I couldn't tell him about Edward and I but i could tell him how much I resented having to keep our history secret, just for Bella's benefit.

"It was one thing for you not to have told Bella and those associated with her. I'm sure Edward had a certain aversion to telling her about me and the complications that I introduced into your lives. But to find that document, locked away like something to be hidden, something shameful. It hurt. Irrationally perhaps, but still."

"I understand and there were many of us who wished Edward had taken the route of honesty when he first ventured on his relationship with Bella. That was one of the reasons we still kept this," he said earnestly. I felt my bitterness start to subside.

"Why have you still got it then? I think it's a little late for Edward to tell all now," I sulked.

"We kept it because it wasn't just for Edward's benefit," he explained as he opened the document with a hint of reverence. "Have you read it? Really looked at it?" he asked as he handed it to me.

"There wasn't much time," I muttered as I drifted my eyes over the opening paragraph.

"Look now," he urged as he touched my shoulder the way he used to, in comfort and reassurance.

I did as he asked and as I did I saw how the messages and memories changed from bare facts to heartfelt notes. I saw how worn the pages were to the point that the paper had developed a thin silky texture. I smiled as I recognised some of the memories described and marvelled at those which I hadn't even realised they remembered. Carlisle was right. It was more than just another document like he'd had when we were testing my ability. It was like a biography, a memoir.

"We kept it because it kept you with us. We thought we'd lost you and although our memories served us well this held memories not all of us had. I was lucky to have known you for a great length of my vampire life. I had memories that none of the others had, and as we began to recollect we found that we each had our own personal memories and stories of you. This helped us to share those with each other," Carlisle narrated as I read.

"Why didn't you tell me about it? Why was it Ren who showed it to me?" I asked as my eyes drank in the words before me.

"You were here, this seemed irrelevant when we knew you were alive." Carlisle explained softly as we both looked down at the document together, his arm resting around my shoulders. "As for Renesmee, I wasn't aware that she knew of it. She knows certain places are private." I heard a trace of anger in his voice and I knew Ren had overstepped her mark. She probably didn't even know what she was doing was wrong. She had been told her whole life that she was special, that they loved her no matter what. A life like that was bound to distort her boundaries.

I wondered if her boundaries were that skewed then how could I trust her. She obviously knew all about mine and Edward's past yet she still seemed so comfortable around me. Were we really friends? Or was she playing a game with rules I was yet to understand? As the questions bubbled in my mind I thought of voicing my concerns to Carlisle but my own selfishness stopped me. I didn't want to insinuate that Ren had anything to look out for so I decided I would keep an eye on Ren myself.

"Does Bella know?" I questioned out of curiosity. Carlisle chuckled as he took the document back from me.

"I'm certain that if Renesmee had shown this to her then we would know about it. Bella seems quite sensitive concerning you." We both smirked, it was common knowledge mine and Bella's relationship was strained to say the least.

"I gather I'm not her favourite person."

"It's strange. You both share similar traits and interests," he said offhandedly.

"They say opposites attract, perhaps the opposite is also true."

"Perhaps."

I spied the document in his lap and my ulterior motives came to the surface.

"I think it would be best if that document is moved to a new hiding place." I didn't want Bella to find it an become anymore suspicious because it could make things difficult between Edward and I. I knew it would be easier if Bella knew to the point that she would know the truth but at the same time if she knew then she would be far more observant. I didn't want anyone to get hurt and in order to avoid that I needed to ensure she didn't know anymore than she already did. At least until I decided how to move forward. Either with Edward or without him.

Carlisle accepted my suggestion with a simple nod before casting his gaze over my seated form. "Are you happy, Sarelle?"

"Of course, what do I have to be unhappy about? I've got friends, family, a home to call my own, what else do I need." My mood lifted at the change of subject.

"It's not wrong to want more than that."

"They're all I've ever wanted. I've never thought to want for anything more."

"It takes more than an ease of living to make a person happy. Especially someone such as you."

"What do you mean?" I asked puzzled.

"You spent you're entire human life jumping from place to place. Having adventures that others could only imagine. It may not have always been easy but surely you can't deny that it was never boring. I just can't help but think that you seem... flat." Carlisle watched me carefully, his golden eyes piercing me in a way only Carlisle could.

"I suppose I've been feeling a little stagnant recently. I've learnt languages, I've learnt instruments, I've read hundreds of books. Nothing seems to be a challenge anymore." It was the same for many vampires, learning came so easily for us. It was those who had another to share their days with that avoided the stagnant feeling because with another in their life their days were never the same.

"Have you thought about attending school?" Carlisle asked, breaking my reverie.

"High school?" I laughed incredulously. I had never thought of attending school before, not since I was a small human child had I ever thought school was a possibility.

"Yes. You could attend with the others. I'm sure I could help get you a place, and Jasper could get the necessary papers."

As he spoke I felt a flicker of excitement. I was happy with life I had but I would be lying to say I didn't miss the adventures I used to have.

"I wouldn't want to draw any unwanted attention to your family, such a large group of us could be a problem." I returned without conviction.

"Nothing we can't handle, and I know the others would like to see you more." Carlisle smiled faintly.

"I'm sorry I haven't spent much time with you all."

"It's not your fault, you've got a lot of people in your life to devote your time to. We understand that your time is something we must share. Although I am sure you realise that sharing is a concept Alice sometimes struggles with."

I chuckled but it faded as I thought of the family I had seemingly neglected since they arrived. "I've missed this, Carlisle. I've missed you and the others. I've missed how we were when I was human. I don't think I truly knew that until now."

"I know Rosalie has already spoken to you, so you know we see you as are a part of this family."

"I know and maybe if things were different..." I sighed because there was little point in thinking 'what if' anymore. Things were what they were and I had to find a way to make peace with them, to embrace them. "You are a dear friend, Carlisle, and so much like the father I lost, but my loyalty must lie with my coven." Uncertainty laced my words because I knew as much as I loved the Denalis, I would always feel an affinity to the Cullens. It was as if I lived in no man's land. I couldn't truly be with the Cullens because of Edward and Bella, yet I struggled to settle with the Denalis because my heart always seems to lie in the past.

"I wouldn't expect anything less from you, my dear." He enveloped me in his arms, holding me as he spoke. "But you have to know that we'll always see you as our own. You'll always be a Cullen to us."

I squeezed him tightly as elation filled me up inside. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome, and think about school. It could be good for you," he said as he pulled away.

"I will discuss it with the others. I wouldn't feel right making such a decision without them."

I hoped they would allow it because now that it was a possibility I wanted to go. I wanted to step back into the human world rather than live within this pocket world of vampirism. And more than anything I wanted to have this adventure.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Didn't I tell you I wasn't going to give up on this :)**

It seemed like the festive period flew by after my talk with Carlisle. No sooner had the Christmas trees been decorated with glitter and gold, than the bells were ringing out for New Year's day. Another year, a fresh start, and a year of adventure stretched out ahead of me. In all my vampire life I had never felt so excited to see another year roll around. I knew my excitement was mainly due to the permission I had been given by the Denalis to attend the local high school with the Cullens, but still it felt like this year would be different to the others. I could feel change in the air.

Nothing had changed between Edward and I since I saw him with Bella. I had purposefully kept my distance, despite the itch I had to see him. Seeing them together had drilled home what deep down I already knew. No matter how much I loved him, or how much he claimed to love me, I wouldn't hurt the Cullens by acting on my impulses. Yes we would spend time together, and yes I would hide myself in the crook of his neck, or clutch his hand in mine, but I would never take it further than that. No matter how much I wanted to. Adultery was one human moral I had yet to break and I hoped it would stay that way.

As always on Christmas day we Denalis sat around the living room fire and told stories of Christmases past. Memories of the many lives we'd lived. I had recounted the year, eighty years prior, when Aslo and I had found ourselves in 1902 stood outside my childhood home. It was another jump that was never meant to have happened, but I was forever grateful it did. We had been hunting near New Orleans in 1932 when we crossed paths with a territorial coven of three. A fight had ensued and on impulse my gift sent us thirty years back to the past. Aslo had been ravenous and sprung upon the nearest living thing he could grasp. A black cat. I'd never let him forget it since and the Denalis joined in my amusement as I narrated my way through the memory. It wasn't until Aslo had settled and carefully disposed of the poor kitty that I had noticed where we were.

The large sash windows shone with the golden glow of fire light, and I could hear the all too familiar sound of a piano being played within. I'd crept closer to the window, enraptured with what lay beyond the hand blown glass. When my eyes finally fell upon them I felt a smile creep onto my face. They were younger than I remembered them, but it was my parents nonetheless. My mother, with her fine stature and pale blonde hair just like mine, was sitting across from the fire with a loving smile on her face. I followed her gaze and noticed my father seated at the piano, his fingers flowing fluidly across the keys and his golden eyes glinting. They were watching something as it moved around the room, I could see their eyes follow it. I lifted myself a little higher to get a better view. As I did I let out a gasp as I saw my two year old self tottering around the room with clumsy steps. I stood watching in awe as my toddler self came towards the window and placed two warm hands on the pane. I could see how the steam outlined the little chubby fingers. A bright smile lit the toddler's face ad I felt myself mirror it. I had been so happy, so oblivious to anything but the marvels of youth, as it was meant to be for one so young.

I heard my mother tell the toddler to come away from the window but the child refused to move. I ducked out of sight as my father swooped from the piano and picked the child up, swinging her around as her giggles rang out through the room. It was hard to believe we were the same person. The same girl in the same time but a lifetime apart. That memory had been one of the very best of all my years.

My festive reverie sharply ended as I heard Kate's infectious laughter.

"She's visiting the school for the first time, not walking down a catwalk in Milan, Alice," She teased as I stood diligently while Alice raided my closet for a suitable outfit. She was adamant that first impressions were important and that outfit choice played a crucial part.

Although I hadn't said anything, I was glad for the distraction she provided. I was still nervous about the visit to the school. So many humans in one place, and so many moments for something to go wrong.

"OK I admit that the heels might be too much, but they're just so pretty." Alice, clutched the red shoes in her dainty hands.

"What's wrong with my flat shoes?" I grumbled as I looked at the growing pile of rejects on the floor.

"Nothing," Alice pouted. "But look, so pretty," she said waving the heels towards me.

"She needs to blend in tomorrow, not stand out. She can't draw too much attention..." Tanya said, trailing off at the end although I knew what was running through her mind. I couldn't draw too much attention in case something went wrong.

"I just want something comfortable, casual, and most of all understated," I said as I looked over my current outfit. It was definitely anything but understated. All bright colours and sharp tailoring. The jeans for one were skin tight and the top wasn't much better.

I caught the look on Alice's face, the flash of disappointment. I knew the others teased her for her enthusiasm and tendency to air on the side of extravagance so I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

"That being said I do love the shoes," I grinned and she thrust them at me, springing back into action as she rifled back through my wardrobe.

By the time night fell I had my outfit chosen and hanging on my wardrobe door. I was simple with a pair of fitted jeans, a white 3/4 sleeved top, and a long beaded necklace with similar colours that had been borrowed from Alice. I had quibbled over the white top but Alice promised it wouldn't be ruined which gave me some hope that my fears wouldn't be realised.

Aslo had agreed to come with me during the visit and would be assuming the role of my older step brother if anyone asked. I was glad that things between us had seemed to have returned to what they were before. I still didn't know what had caused him to go quiet on me but since things were back to normal I decided not to push it. After all I had known him long enough to know that if he didn't want to discuss something there was no way to persuade him.

As the sun started to rise, my phone flashed from my bedside table indicated a new message.

_Relax and have fun today. You have nothing to worry about. - E_

I smiled as my nerves settled. No sooner had I put the phone back on the side than it flashed again.

_P.S I can't wait to see you. - E_

I tried not to let the second message sour my feelings about the day but it was difficult. I had missed him. It didn't matter that I saw him at group functions it wasn't the same and we both knew it. I had made excuses up not the see him at the cliff so many times that he had stopped asking. Maybe I should have continued as normal, or at least what we had considered normal, but there was a part of me that knew that the words we'd said to each other had shifted the intent of those cliff top meetings. Whatever innocence was there before was now tainted with temptation.

I shrugged off the questions as I slipped into my jeans. Today was my fresh start, my new adventure.

I beamed with excitement as I finished getting ready by running my hands through my combed hair.

"Are you ready, Kvetina?" Aslo asked from his place at my doorway. His face had a cheeky grin as he watched me gather my things.

"Don't laugh! I'm nervous enough without you making me feel silly," I pleaded playfully as I thwacked him on the arm.

"Ooo hit me baby one more time," he teased as I pouted.

"Honestly, Aslo, do you think I'm making the right decision? Or is this whole thing just insane?"

"What I think is that we're going to be late if we don't leave soon. And we wouldn't want you in trouble with the principle before you've even started," his mocking tone brought a smile to my face as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and ushered me out my room and down the stairs to the sight of the whole coven waiting for me.

"It's just a visit!" I countered but it didn't stop them.

"Oh her first day at school!" Garrett joked as he snapped photos, playing his teasing role of doting parent perfectly.

"Do you have to?" I asked as I tried to hide from the lens, the others laughing at our game of cat and mouse.

"It's not every day one of us goes to high school," Kate chipped in before pulling Garrett to her side and stealing the camera. She snapped a shot of Aslo and I before Tanya ushered me towards the door.

"We're here if you need us. Just a phone call away," she said as I rolled my eyes at her concern. I was a vampire going to school and she thought _I_ would be the one who'd need help. Not the few thousand children I'd be around.

"We'd better get going," Aslo said putting an end to the antics.

"Have fun!" Carmen shouted behind us as I climbed into the car.

"Try not to eat anyone!" Garrett called after her.

It may not have been the typical send off of a student on their first visit to a new school, but it was as close to it as we would get.

Aslo and I sat in silence as we drove around the bay to the centre of Colter Bay. As we drew closer to the school I noticed an increasing number of students walking with their school bags and friends. It felt surreal for something so ordinary to seem so dazzlingly new. They did this nearly every day. It was routine to them. To me it was something I had never experienced. Even when I was human I had never walked to school, bag on my back, waving at my friends as I met them on the way.

I didn't realised I had my face inches from the window until I heard Aslo's quiet chuckle.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," I breathed as we pulled up to the imposing building.

"I can. In fact I'm surprised you haven't done it sooner."

"What if.."

"What if nothing," Aslo said as he grasped my hand over the gear stick. "Just another adventure, Sarelle, that's all this is," he comforted with a smile that settled the phantom butterflies in the pit of my stomach.

"OK, let's do this." With that I stepped out of the car, standing in front of the large blue and white building. It was how most modern schools were. Large blocks of square buildings. This one had four, each centred around a large courtyard that was currently teaming with students waiting for their day to start. I looked anxiously at Aslo as we noticed the unobtrusive entrance at the other end of the crowd.

_I guess there's no time like the present for those first impressions, _ I thought as I eyed the crowd of the students and the double doors across them with 'Colter Bay High School' embossed above.

I sucked in a painful breath and wrangled with my control. It was easier than I had thought. A glance at Aslo told me that he was not of the same opinion. Without a word said between us we set off through the crowd. I kept my head down, glancing now and then to make sure I didn't walk into anyone. I could hear the intrigue lacing their conversations as we passed by. Some stopped talking completely. It was unnerving to see the affect our presence had on such a large crowd. I had never paid much attention to it when Tanya and I had went out to the local bars. Maybe the alcohol that flowed had numbed the patrons to our presence. Or maybe it just boosted their confidence so we didn't intimidate them. Either way it was nothing compared to this. The buzz that followed us. I heard the Cullens names mentioned and flinched at whether or not they had noticed a resemblance that they weren't meant to see. Once we reached the entrance I felt my body relax.

"Talk about jumping in at the deep end," Aslo murmured beside me. I chuckled nervously as I fiddled with the papers Carlisle had given me. Although it was just a visit, Carlisle had said that I would need to have the relevant information. He had also created a back story that named me as his niece, come to study in America due to a scholarship to perform music. It was basic but as Jasper had said the best lies were. We were lucky that I looked so much like Carlisle that it wasn't implausible for me to be his niece. It also helped to explain my different surname and the presence of Aslo as my step brother. Rosalie had helped ease my worry about the plausibility of my new background by saying that most people would probably just come up with their own story for me anyway, and that only a few simple lies were needed to set the process off.

This was clarified when Aslo told me some of the stories he'd picked up on our journey through the crowd.

"Apparently you're Carlisle's illegitimate love child."

"That's ridiculous."

"According to some girl called Emma they're just saying you're his niece because of his job at the hospital. She also thinks you're step brother is very sexy," He joked with a smirk.

"I bet you were all ears after that remark." I ribbed with a raised eyebrow.

"The body wants what it wants, Sarelle. Who am I to quash her fantasies," he said smugly. "It is fascinating how wild their imaginations are. There was a boy who thinks you're here because you were placed here on national government protection after killing a terrorist with your 'thighs of steel'" He added the quotation marks in a rare show of modernity. I looked at him with a horrified expression.

"His words not mine. Obviously" He grinned and I laughed heartily. He was being the playful man that I adored and rarely shone through. I knew today he was doing it purely for my sake and I was extremely grateful.

A man with greying hair and a navy suit came out of an office and came towards us with a distracted smile.

"Hey there. I'm Principle Walsh, but you can call me Andy." He beamed as he motioned to a secretary at the reception desk. She handed him a form which I presumed had the details on our visit on it because he soon sprung into action. "You must be Sarelle St Clair." I nodded with a 'nice to meet you'. "And you are, Aslo Finn?" he asked struggling with the unusual name.

"Yes, Sarelle's step brother."

"Right, well, it's good to meet you both and welcome to Colter Bay High. Hopefully you'll feel right at home here, Sarelle. I know we'd love to have someone of your talents."

Esme had mentioned that school's these days strived to get talented students through their doors since the average grade was used to rank the schools and thus affect their funding.

"It's lovely to finally be here," I said politely and saw how he noticed my English accent. No matter how many years pass I would never lose it.

"Where in England are you from?" the principle asked making small talk as he took my papers and scanned through them.

"London," I replied shortly but Also must have seen something in the man's eyes that suggested more was needed to implant my back story into his head.

"Our parents live there but her mother thought it was best for her to visit her uncle and follow her musical talents over here."

"So your mother is Dr Cullen's sister?" Mr Walsh asked as he shuffled my papers together and passed them to the secretary. Obviously his orders were clear because she didn't wait for clarification as she disappeared into the back office.

I nodded and idly listened to his musings about family resemblance as we walked through the corridors.

"School starts soon, and I don't want to subject you to a barrage of students yet so I'll show you the cafeteria and our music rooms. I'm sure you'll agree that we take our role in nurturing our students very seriously here."

The next two hours seemed endless. Not only because of the constant fire flickering at my throat, but the onslaught of information and attention. As a vampire I had learnt to slink into the shadows, keep my presence as low key as possible. It was a rule that was the sole reason that we hadn't been discovered by the ever-learning human race. This visit had thrust me into the open. Each classroom we passed showed pupils with peaked interest. When we entered the drama hall all performances stopped. The few times I saw the Cullens I smiled as they nodded in encouragement. Alice's face held a full on beam that seemed to unnerved the girl she was sitting beside. Throughout the tour, I walked as if I had a spotlight on me at all times, ever cautious of acting human and playing my role to perfection. It was as draining as it was thrilling. I knew it was affecting Aslo as well, except he reacted differently to me. Rather than fidgeting he locked up. His initial chatty persona slowly changed to that of rigidity. To me it was obvious but the everyone else he merely looked bored. To be expected of someone who was merely escorting his step sister on her first visit to a school.

We passed yet another classroom of pupils as I asked him if he was okay. He responded in turn with a hand giving me a brief hug put my mind at ease as we followed the Principle back towards the entrance.

"Well that's the grand tour!" the principle announced as he hurried behind the reception counter. I had a feeling he was as relieved it was over as we were.

"You have some wonderful facilities. I'm sure I'll feel quite at home here." His dazed expression reminded me to adopt a more modern tongue next time.

With slightly fumbling motions he handed our information across to the secretary and informed her to set up my registration whilst he excused himself. The process didn't take long and before long Aslo and I were crossing the empty courtyard toward the car.

I took my phone from my pocket as I beamed at the ID card in my palm.

_I'm officially a high school student! _I sent the text to Edward and Alice with a beam on my face. Until a worrying thought crept into my mind...

_Oh god! What am I going to wear!_


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: same as every other chapter. Recognisable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, the rest are mine.**

**A/N: Hey back again! Some of you were a little bit worried this was going to be the usual vampire in high school thing, but I promise I'm just using this as means to an end. Thank you so much to everyone who's reading and reviewing. You guys are awesome! Much love.**

**Happy reading.**

I had survived my first week of life as a high school student. Possibly it was presumptuous to think that way, since it was my second to last lesson before school ended for the weekend. I had been looking forward to this part of the day from the moment I set foot in school. It was a free period and a chance to escape the wandering eyes of the curious students. Their stares had yet to cease, although I was almost certain I didn't help matters by sitting with the Cullens at lunch. It was bizarre how, despite my age and experience, I still felt a form of comfort by sticking close to those I knew. Emmett had found great amusement from watching my steep learning curve. To the Cullens it was so effortless, mundane in fact. They knew the rules, the routines, the ways in which high school life operated. I hadn't even stepped foot in a school in well over 160 years. In the past week I had marvelled at how permission had to be asked to leave the room, or answers were to be signalled by the raise of a hand. It was no secret that my oddities had given the other students cause to avoid me. I was perhaps the first, and only, vampire to attend high school and not be envied as one of the 'cool kids'.

As I made my way away from the cafeteria, towards the library, I wondered if this was why the other pupils found it odd that I sat with the Cullens. Or more to the point, that the Cullens allowed me to sit with them. The socially awkward new girl sitting with the envied group of the school must have seemed strange. At least it cemented the familial relation in their minds, as Rosalie had said 'no one except family would offer to have such an oddball as you sit with them'.

I rounded the final corner in the corridor as I shook my head in mild embarrassment. I may have survived my first week of high school but I certainly had not flourished. I sighed in relief as I entered the quiet library through the large wooden double doors. A rush of musty paper and fresh printer ink filled my sense of smell as I scanned the large white rectangular room for a discrete place to sit. A central aisle allowed access to the stacks on either side, some with work tables at the end, others without. I had learnt to avoid these work tables as they made it nearly impossible to escape if someone to tempting came too close. I'd had one close call on my second day that had been a lesson well learnt. I was almost certain my languid sniff had been noticed by the young lacrosse player, especially given the befuddled look he gave me as he swiftly left. Alice had promptly told me that sniffing a student usually gave them the creeps and to refrain from doing so in future.

I picked my seat at the far end of the library. Equidistant from the handful of students already situated in their own bubbles of concentration. My position gave me the perfect view of the door but also 4 avenues of escape if I needed to through the rear entrance and 2 side fire exits. I pulled my mathematics homework from my bag and placed it in casual disarray around me. Jasper had taught me that humans rarely approached someone who appeared to be busy so I had found ways to use books and homework as camouflage.

My eyes wandered over the page lazily as the numbers swam around in my mind. I was quickly coming to the conclusion that for all the years I have existed on this earth there was still so much I had yet to learn. I could speak more than half the worlds languages, yet algebra was foreign to me. I could play the greatest musical compositions in a range of instruments but I had no clue how to play volleyball like a human. I had been present for a great deal of the world's history but when asked about vector forces I had no answer. One thing I knew for certain was that my thirst for knowledge had never been as strong and as encompassing as it was now. I hung on every word the teacher said. I absorbed every social ritual that occurred. Only a week had gone by but my demeanour had shifted significantly.

"Your act is slipping." My head snapped up to see Edward poised at the table. The smile I hadn't realised was on my face widened infinitely.

"And why do you say that?" I whispered coyly at his teasing tone.

"Because no human teenager smiles like that when doing maths homework."

His smile was playful as he slipped into the chair opposite.

"I would be even happier if you would do this homework for me." My quip earned me a soft laugh.

"Now that would be cheating," he teased but a serious undercurrent struck me.

"And cheating would be bad, wouldn't it?" My query fell to a whisper as I saw his hands inch towards my own, his eyes watching me intently. My words sank in and his sigh told me he caught my double meaning. His hands stopped moving towards my own, frozen with indecision.

I sat patiently watching as his mind whirled behind his golden irises until he mumbled, "I thought this would be easier."

I frowned questioningly for him to continue.

"For some bizarre reason I thought having an answer to this-" he waved his hand between us"- would give us a way forward."

"You're in love with two different women, Edward. You can't just tell me you love me and then abra cadabrar we all live happily ever after."

"Why not?" he attempted to joke but our laughter fell flat.

"Because unfortunately 1+1+1 does not equal 2. I might not be great at maths, and this logs stuff might be way over my head," I said as I cast a befuddled glance at the questions in front of me. "But one thing I do know, is that love doesn't work with three people involved."

His guilty expression told me he knew I was right, and part of me wanted him to explain, to talk about what was between us until there were no more words left, but this wasn't the time or the place and I was tired of thinking about it. Analysing every word and expression to try and decipher who he loved more. If he would ever leave Bella. If he saw a future for us. It was endless, and had been since that moment on the 4th July when I descended the stairs and our eyes met. That moment had changed everything and set a course that seemed as inescapable as it was tumultuous. I loved him. I knew that. And I knew he loved me too. As twisted as the whole situation was, I knew those two facts. The rest was just semantics.

"I know we're going to have to deal with this at some point, but can we just put it to one side for now?" I thumbed the page as I peered through my lashes towards the contemplative man opposite me. In a visible shift I saw his decision in the way his jaw went from a taught frown to a leisurely smile.

"How has your first week been?" he asked curiously, and I sighed inwardly in relief.

"Strange but in a wonderful way."

"You've adjusted marvellously. We've all been impressed. Even Rosalie. And we both know how hard it is to do that." We shared a conspiratorial grin.

"I'm still adjusting, and it was odd at first to be the centre of attention but it's easier now that has subsided a little. There's not as much pressure to blend in as there was before."

I noticed as couple staring at us from the corner of my eye and chuckle. "That being said, it appears we've got an audience." I nudged my head in their direction and Edward gave them a bored glance. "It must be an everyday occurrence for you." I teased. "From what I've heard this week you're the fuel to many a teenage fantasy."

His quiet laughter was as soft and rich as velvet. "It's a hard cross to bear but I've learnt to cope." The twinkle in his eyes gave me a glimpse of the flirtatious, fun nature he used to have in Belmore.

"How awful to be admired and desired." My mocking sarcastic tone intensified the twinkle further.

"The worst." he replied. "But what's hardest is hearing what they think of you."

My eyebrow quirked in question. He nodded to a girl with honey blonde hair styled to be poker straight. Her lips were glossed in pink and her eyes lined to make the deep brown seem doe eyed and innocent. She was what I imagined and All American beauty to be.

"She's bitter because of your good looks. She's also adamant that you've had plastic surgery, and she plans to ask you who did your nose when if I leave."

I couldn't stop the shocked laughter that sprung from me. It seemed to spur Edward on as he indicated the boy sitting with his arm around a lovely brunette.

"He can't keep his eyes off you and wishes he was sitting next to you rather than his girlfriend."

"I wouldn't care to repeat his thoughts" Edward said with a raise of his eyebrows as he picked out another boy sitting with a group that had just recently came in. From the a school jacket they wore I assumed they were on one of the sports teams. "Or hers," he whispered with a flirtatious glimmer suggesting the sexual notion of the thoughts as he shot a swift look at a cheerleader snuggled in with the boys. She looked coyly at me from across the room.

I giggled as Edward showed off his gift, trying not to dwell on the fact that so many in the room were paying me attention.

"I would never have guessed their thoughts by looking at them," I marvelled.

"Some of them are quite clever at hiding their emotions."

"It must have been a shock to discover Bella. A silent mind popping up out of the blur." I don't know why I brought her up. Perhaps it was a test to myself to see if I could. I pushed that notion away to keep an impassive expression as Edward replied.

"Yes. It was disconcerting. Especially after...everything." We shared a final smile before the bell rang for next period.

"You have history with Mr. Powers," he stated and I nodded without asking how he knew.

"Alice will be glad of the company. She's been complaining about having to endure it alone." He helped me gather up my books, and we both ignored the electricity that shot between us when our hands accidently brushed.

"I'll see you later," I said as I rushed out of the library like a giddy school girl. My body fluttering. _Will he ever stop having this affect on me?_

I turned to my left and rounded the corner to head towards H block, the small grouping of buildings separated from the main school, where the majority of history and music classes were taught. I had already been there this morning for my music lesson, although after performing the teacher informed me I'd be moved to the advanced class held in the newly fitted music suite in D block. I got the feeling my show of skill earned me any friends in the class.

The fluttering feeling still hadn't worn off when I made my way past the C block girls toilets and they're lingering smell of perfume. If anything it had gotten worse, like a spreading rush working from the inside out. It felt just how the tingle used to feel before I could control it.

I took two more tentative steps before doubling back and throwing myself into the nearest toilet stall. The door had barely slammed behind me before my body jumped. The rush was extraordinary. Maybe I just hadn't thought about it since I became able to control my ability, but the involuntary jump felt like nothing I had experienced before. And there was no reason for it. No fear, no immediate danger, no overwhelming emotion, no warning. Nothing but the unbridled panic I felt when I materialised and found myself some place I had never been before. It's dark and I note a mop and bucket beside my feet as the door in front of me clicks to open an inch and allow a slither of light in.

The noise of people talking rises bit by bit until it is almost a deafening rush of chatter. A chiming tone sounded over it all and I recognised the calm, monosyllabic, drawl of an announcement. I strained to hear what it says but the disorientation offsets my hearing for a few precious seconds.

I peer through the gap in the door. People are milling around, listening to music or playing on handheld games. The smell of jet fuel, automobile exhaust, and hot tarmac combine to assault my senses every time the main entrance doors open. I was in an airport. A modern one, but that is as far as I could discern from the sensory onslaught that's happening around me.

I hear a couple walk past the door, chatting about the weather in Florida and the possibility of rain. I recognize the smell of fading perfume that women are wearing. It clashes with the smell of popcorn and sandwiches.

The whir of wheels on marble and concrete mixed with the mechanical, yet pleasant, voice on the public address system calling for someone to go to the nearest courtesy phone, or announcing that flight 896, the connecting flight from Rome, has now arrived.  
Underneath the functional surface is an undercurrent of excitement, anticipation, impatience, and boredom. I hear snippets of conversation from people passing me on their way to the next gate.

I trained my eyes on the departure and arrivals board. It's luminous green letters state that it's the 22nd April 2048. The date when I left was 18th January 2048 so this day was 3 months in the future. I couldn't figure out what the significance of it was. It seemed to be just a normal day in a normal American airport. There had to be some reason. If I had learnt anything from my jumps it was that there was always some reason I was there. Even if it wasn't clear at first.

Before I had the chance to explore further I was throw back to the present. My body hurtling through time back to the toilet stall in the girls bathroom. I patted the green plastic cubicle walls reassuringly as the electricity raced over my skin. The few seconds in that other place had seemed like hours but I knew enough to know mere moments had gone by. I winced as another fragment formed in my irises, the gritty feeling giving me the urge to rub at my eyelids.

I took a breath and picked up my bag. It was still where I'd ditched in when I first burst through the door. The second warning bell rang out and in a fluster I strode out the bathroom.

As I brushed my hair away from my face I had to stop short from charging full pelt into a black haired boy a few inches taller than me.

"Sorry, sorry," he mumbled as he tugged awkwardly on his black beanie and reached for the book I had knocked from his hands.

"Don't be. It was my fault." I rushed brusquely as I picked up the books he dropped. I may have moved quicker than I ought to but I was too preoccupied with what had just transpired to worry.

His green eyes caught mine as I passed him his book and our fingers fumbled.

"Are you okay? You're really cold." It was as if he was compelled to ask because he shifted uncomfortably on his feet. His body seemed to want to run but his mind forced him to be polite.

"I'm fine." I snapped more harshly than I had intended. He stumbled back before a look of understanding slipped onto his wary face. If I had offended him, he didn't show it. In fact he seemed to have expected it.

I didn't have time to focus on it as I raced off to my final class of the week, the involuntary jump running on a loop in my mind. Each loop racking up the panic I had felt. For whatever reason the control I once had on my gift had appeared to have slipped. I hoped it was just a temporary blip, but part of me knew to hope such a thing was a fool's wish.


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: same as every other chapter. Recognisable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, the rest are mine.**

**A/N: Bit by bit, things are starting to happen. Guesses on how this story is going to end? (You've got a bit of a long wait but I'm curious nonetheless :P)**

**Happy reading.**

_Thursday, 1st February 2048._

I didn't tell anyone about the involuntary jump that had happened two weeks ago. I didn't see the point to worry them over something so trivial. The more I thought about it, the more I convinced myself that it was just a result of adjusting to the school, the situation with Edward, the overload of information I had taken on that week. There was no other explanation, at least not one that I wanted to consider. Part of me knew I shouldn't be keeping secrets from my coven, or the Cullens, but it had always been my way since discovering my gift. Little white lies here and there to keep others around me from worrying unnecessarily, or asking too many questions.

I caught Edward's eyes watching me cautiously over the lunch table. Sometimes I wondered if my mind was still immune to his gift. He had a way of looking at me as if he knew my every thought.

It was in this moment that I noticed how his eyes flicked to a spot in the cafeteria behind me and his eyes hardened to a near deadly glare. Bella didn't seem to notice as she chatted with Alice beside her.

I turned to see what had caused his reaction and my gaze caught on the green eyed boy I had bumped into straight after my jump. I'd noticed him in my history class, although he usually kept to himself. From hearing the register I'd learnt he was called Alfie Hutton but that was all I knew of him. Now and then I would catch his eyes on me, but he soon ducked his head down, his dark shaggy hair hanging over his eyes.

"Looks like Saz has got an admirer, eh Eddie?" Emmett teased as he nudged me roughly on the shoulder. I playfully batted him away as I turned away from Alfie. He had flushed at being caught staring and the red glow across his face caused a raw tickle in my throat as the thirst was set aflame.

"Typical human. They're always drooling over us," Rosalie said with her usual bored tone that she reserved for talking about the human teenagers around us. I noticed Bella flinch at her words and Jacob and Ren gave her a sharp glare. Clearly Bella's choice to turn still created a fundamental difference between her and the rest of the family.

"It's nothing. He's probably just curious. I'm still the new girl after all." I brushed off Emmett's comment.

"Not so new now. You'll have been here three weeks next Monday. " Alice chipped in.

"It's hard to believe I've been here that long."

"Time flies when you're having fun. Although how you can find this fun, God knows," Rose grumbled as she lounged against Emmett.

I snuck another glance at Alfie. He was fiddling awkwardly with his napkin. His long nimble fingers folding the edges again and again, creating shapes from the creativity of his mind. His quietness intrigued me. It was perceptive, more than his peers.

I shoved my curiosity aside before my interest became apparent. I disguised my glance with a casual scan across the cafeteria, looking out past Jasper and Alice to the car park beyond. Students were milling around, those that had went home for lunch or travelled to the local cafe to eat out. Some were allowed, others did it without permission. It was odd the teenagers did for that feel of rebellion.

The second hand cars made the Cullens cars stand out in contrast but it wasn't the shiny volvo, or the Emmett's monster jeep that caught my attention. Instead it was the dark blue rental car that pulled into an open space on the far side of the car park. The windows were tinted so it stood out more than usual. As the morning break bell rang I casually wondered who was visiting the school, whether it would be a new student, or a new teacher. In the past three weeks it was the first visitor I had seen.

"Come on, Sarelle, it's time for another dose of slow and painful torture." Alice chirped as she picked up her bag and linked her arm through mine.

"Oh you mean history." I grinned as we waved at the others as they each headed in their own directions. It had been a great blessing to have the majority of my classes with the Cullens, and an even greater blessing that I shared none with Bella. However, I had to endure Ren and Jacob while in health class. I had almost gotten used to their peculiar bond now, although I was still uncomfortable around Jacob. I wondered if that would ever change, or whether he would always be more guarded around me. it was shame because from brief moments when Ren used her gift to show me some of her memories, I had seen he was a light, joyful person, capable of a megawatt smile and easy humour. It was just difficult to reconcile those images with the boy I knew now.

Alice and I settled into our seats beside each other, an arrangement that had quickly fallen into place when we found out my timetable. The students gave us the usual look of interest as they filed in, but as usual none of them spoke to us. For me that was both a relief and a disappointment. I knew the Cullens preferred to keep themselves separate from the other students but there was part of me that wanted to engage with them. I had interacted purely with vampires for so long that I almost yearned for human contact. I noticed as Alfie slunk in the door and made his way to the back of the classroom, sticking to the edge of the room rather than walk down the centre aisle. For all his attempts to shrink out of sight, his lean six foot two frame still stood out.

"Don't get too comfortable everyone, we're going to switch things up around here," Mr Powers called to the class as he swept into the stuffy classroom. He had biscuit crumbs balanced on his rotund belly and he brushed at them distractedly as he pulled sheets of paper from his leather bag.

"Oh no," Alice whispered, that far off look in her eyes that she got when she had a vision.

"What?" I asked in a desperate hushed tone.

"Simon Welks," she said sadly. I gave her a confused look, my eyebrows creased.

"I'm going to have to sit next to Simon Welks." She pouted and a turned to look at Simon sitting two tables to our left. His hand was busy unpicking his wedged maroon boxers that ballooned out of his jeans.

"He might not be that bad." I tried to console her. My words fell flat as Mr Powers called their names and directed them to a desk, all the while Simon's eyes leering at Alice.

"Good luck," I whispered playfully as she gave me a pained look and made her way to the table over by the window.

"Miss St Clair if you would take a seat beside Mr Hutton at his table." I nodded diligently and gathered my things, heading straight to Alfie. His eyes widened and in flustered movements he moved his things to make room for me.

As I sunk fluidly into the chair I saw him pull his black beanie further down as if he could somehow hide underneath it. I focussed back on the teacher in a hope to put him at ease but instead he shuffled his chair ever so slightly away from me.

I knew the Cullens didn't communicate much with the other students but Alfie's obvious discomfort saddened me a little. I was in firm control of my thirst. I hadn't done anything to make him or anyone else dislike me. In fact I'd even made a conscious effort to smile more in the hope to seem less intimidating. However looking at Alfie studiously ignoring me I had obviously failed.

I cast a glance at Alice and saw her diligently staring straight forward, ignoring the way Simon's eyes fixed on her. He seemed to be drooling as his arm came up to wipe his mouth with his sleeve. I felt myself recoil a little in disgust and felt a pang of pity for Alice.

With all the other students arranged in twos the teacher started his lesson.

"As you can see you are all sitting with a member of the opposite sex. This is not an opportunity to test out your flirting skills, something I'm sure many of you are in dire need of, but more that today we are going to study the way society has changed throughout the ages." The class muttered as the assignment was revealed. Some students quietly complained while others buzzed excitedly.

"On your desk is an envelope. In this envelope is a time period that we will be studying this year. When I say you will open this envelope and discuss the time period you have been given. In particular how it may have been different being a girl or boy in that time. You will write your ideas down and then you will each present them to the class. Are you all clear on the task?"

Silence gave him his answer so with a nod he signalled us all to start.

I stared at the cream envelope and then at Alfie, wondering if he was going to move to take charge.

He didn't.

I carefully tore the paper and slid the small card out.

"We have 1910."

I got no movement of acknowledgement.

"I'll start then." Already I could feel my memories flooding to the surface. "The period of 1910 was an interesting one as it was the transition from the Victorian era into the Edwardian era. Social customs changed and life was overall much less restricted that it had been. Of course there was the first world war as well which was tough, but people were a lot more optimistic. As a girl I would be expected to go to social lunches, tea parties, and dress shopping. Looking at pretty sashes or helping arrange the latest charity ball. In some ways it was a much simpler time than now." I sighed wistfully as I came back to present.

I turned slightly and saw Alfie staring at me, his eyes wide with intrigue.

I dropped the card on the table in embarrassment. Perhaps I had said more than I should.

"How do you know all that?" He asked in a curious soft voice.

I tucked my hair behind my ear awkwardly. "I just enjoy history."

"You must. It was like you'd lived it." His head cocked ever so slightly.

I laughed lightly, "I'll take that as a compliment."

"I'm Alfie by the way. If you were wondering," he said as he did a small wave and then sat on his hand as if it had done it on its own accord.

"I know," I returned with a smile.

"You do?"

"Yes, from the register."

"Of course." He blushed a little before giving me another glance. "You're Sarelle St Clair. The new girl. From London."

I nodded genially.

"Why did you want to come here? I'd much rather be in London. I mean, I've never been, only ever read about it, but anywhere is better than here," he mumbled before adjusting his hat away from his eyes. His near black hair shifted, and I caught a glimpse of the green I had noticed when I bumped into him.

"I wanted a change and my uncle was kind enough to make room for me." I repeated my lie perfectly. "Plus, here isn't so bad."

"The bathroom must be chaos in the mornings."

I frowned trying to figure out what he meant.

"I mean there's so many of you. It must be difficult to all get ready on time."

I chuckled as I thought how right he was, just for a different reason. The difficulty didn't come from sharing a shower but more from the fact that when they came to pick me up my outfit had to pass Alice's inspection before I was allowed to leave the house.

"It has it's challenges." I returned as I cast a glance at Alice. She snuck a look at me and grinned with a wink.

I don't know why I looked. Perhaps it was something I had subconsciously picked up on, one of the many thoughts my vampire mind was capable of having at any one time. I couldn't say but there was some reason that my eyes flashed to the doorway. Some unknown trigger that caused me to inhale deeply and sift through the cacophony of scents that emanated around me. Maybe it was fate, or merely coincidence, but it happened and for the first time since enrolling at the school I had to force myself not to react.

He was in my eye line for mere seconds, but to me they seemed like hours. I watched as he walked beside the Principle, seemingly ensconced in conversation. The subject matter had my mind already reeling through the possibilities. His scent drifted from the corridor, no more enticing than the others around me but still it hit me like a wrecking ball.

His weight shifted as he walked, an ill fitting grey suit crinkling as he started to turn his head to look into the classroom. I tensed. The Principle said something then, a comment about catchments and travelling distances, and I watched him direct his attention back to the aging man beside whom he walked. His profile disappeared from my view, replaced by a head of thick chestnut brown hair. If I had any doubt in my mind of his identity, that momentary glance had dispersed them all. It was him, here, in the flesh. He was no different than the last time I'd seen him except now he moved with a certain casual determination that was missing all those months ago.

He and the Principle carried on down the corridor, removing themselves from the picture frame the doorway had created. I blinked as the classroom noises filtered back through my transfixed mind.

"Um, are you OK?" Alfie stuttered from beside me. I forced myself to switch my gaze away from the door and look at him. It had never been so hard to feign indifference.

"Yes, fine," I said nonchalantly.

"Are you sure?"

A bit abruptly I replied, "Yes, why ever wouldn't I be?"

Alfie's eyes switched been me and the table top, his long fingers picking at his short clipped nails. "I don't know. It's just, well, you looked kind of scared. Like you'd seen a ghost." His mumbling words seemed to fall out his mouth like his tongue tripped over them.

I shook my head with a vague smile and turned to listen as the teacher ended the discussion segment of the class. I didn't worry that we hadn't completed the task because the way the class was chattering I doubted we would be doing any discussing this lesson.

As Mr Powers tried to stem the seemingly endless babble of the other students, Alfie and I sat in silence.

His words repeated in my head. _'You looked kind of scared. Like you'd seen a ghost.'_

I sighed as my mind replied in a flash. _Not a ghost, Alfie. Something... Someone far more dangerous..._

_...Dylan.'_

**A/N: Love to all!**


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:Well that took a while! Thank you for your patience :) **

**Let me know what you think.**

I rose my hand, the first time I had done such a thing since starting high school.

"Yes Sarelle?" Mr Powers queried with apprehensive confusion. He found me unnerving. It showed in the way he shifted on his feet when he spoke to me, and the way his eyes glanced ever so slightly to the nearest exit when I entered the room. It may have been because of my nature, or it could have been because of the unwanted attraction he felt when he saw me. Either way he exhibited all of these signs as I locked my eyes on his and asked to leave the room.

"I'm not feeling very well," I replied when he asked why. I was already rising from my seat when he nodded his ascent.

I cast a look towards Alice and, as I expected, her eyes were glued on me, full of questions that for the time being would remain unanswered.

Before I stepped out the door I looked furtively to Alfie. As they often had these past few weeks, his green eyes watched me with curiosity and a sight that seemed to see more than was truly there. His gaze dropped the instant he caught me looking, and I shook away the thoughts that told me I would have to be more careful around him.

_You have to deal with Dylan first. _My mind reminded me, as if I was capable of forgetting. I could still smell him in the corridor, that ever youthful scent of floridian sunshine mixed with the cheap acrylic smell of the suit he wore. It was a juxtaposition that danced on my taste buds.

I tried to dampen down the wonder that grasped at reasons for why Dylan would be here. There would be no good to come from it. It was this intrigue that led my absentminded feet down the corridor, trailing his scent as if it could lead me back to the memories we once had. Back through time to the days when we were teenagers on a moon drenched roof talking of photography and the future.

I stopped short when I heard his voice just around the corner. Its timbre was marginally lower than when he was sixteen, and more inquisitive than it had been all those months ago when I checked up on him and his family.

"I read that you offer a music scholarship here. Is that particularly competitive?" he asked innocently.

"Oh yes, we have been lucky enough to have generous donors which has enabled us to have a fully equipped auditorium and soundproofed practice areas. As you can imagine they've gained a lot of attention and we've been fortunate enough to have some remarkable students because of it."

"Oh really, anyone I should look out for?" Dylan teased.

"Well I don't want to brag but there's a couple of students here who I wouldn't be surprised if they went on to play all the top classical venues. In fact one girl joined us just last month from England. Odd family circumstances but she has an amazing talent. Her brother, no stepbrother... Or is it cousin. Or half Cousin. I don't know but there's a whole group of them, and one of the younger boys is incredible according to our piano teacher."

I listened raptly as the Principle all but spilled our secrets to the one man who had the tenacity and time to unravel them. I could have killed him if the thought of it didn't make my throat burn.

"Well you certainly sound like you've got it all together." I wondered if the Principle heard the bored tone in Dylan's voice. Although given the pride he had when talking about the merits of the school I doubted he heard anything but enthusiasm.

I heard footsteps coming my way so I ducked into one of the soundproofed music rooms, and tucked myself around the door out of view. It was clear from the few words Dylan had spoken that his interests in this school weren't tied to his children or a journalism job. With those eliminated I knew that there could be only one explanation for him being here and it was the one I had hoped it wouldn't be. Somehow, someway, he had come here in pursuit of answers.

My body tingled as that realisation came. It was a tingle I knew too well so when I felt myself sucked through time I wasn't as shocked as I had been the last time it happened. For whatever reason my gift had become unstable and like the first time it had happened a month ago I found myself materialising in an unknown room.

As the tingle seeped from my fingertips, dissipating into the air, my eyes flashed around the room. It was Dylan's. I knew that the instant I inhaled. No outside scents mingled with his.

I turned and saw that this room had no windows, just one solitary door behind me. I stepped cautiously towards the battered oak desk in front. Behind it was the same rickety wooden desk chair he'd had in his college room, and behind that the same bookshelf. Only this time there were no baseball trophies or posters. This time is was stuffed full of notebooks, new paper clippings, photographs both new and old. It was as if that notebook I found all those years ago, filled with clues about my life, had exploded across the entire book shelf. Everywhere I looked there were ideas scribbled in his scrawling handwriting. Pins connecting different coloured strings to different notions. Dates and time periods were stuck haphazardly in a timeline that sprawled across the entire west wall of the office, tack pins rammed directly into the cheaply soundproofed wall. It was a small space and because of that a feeling of claustrophobia crept over me. Around me was a very real display of Dylan's determination and journalistic skill, and it had all been focussed on me. If I'd had any doubts that he knew my secret, or that he had come to the school looking for me, they were all instantly dispelled. He was at the school purely to find me, and from looking around the pokey office I knew he wouldn't stop until he had.

I embedded the office in my mind. I would have to come back and soon. This evidence couldn't be allowed to exist. As much has it pained me to think it, I knew I had to destroy it. For the sake of my coven and the vampire secret. He couldn't be allowed to continue. A creak on the other side of the door brought me from my reverie and I forced myself to jump back to the school.

When I materialised I released a calming breath. I just had to get through the rest of the day without being noticed and then it would all be okay. I knew once I was home I could relax. He didn't know my address and hopefully, once he found no trace of me he would return home. Then it would just be a waiting game to orchestrate a way to return to the office without him or his family being in the house. I was sure Tanya would come up with a plan to send them away somewhere.

Even as I thought through the possibilities I felt a disappointment seep through me. I hadn't spoken to Dylan since his 21st birthday. It seemed a lifetime ago. Despite talking with Renee and hearing about the things he was doing it was still hard to have him so close and not being able to speak to him.

_You always want what you can't have._ My mind scolded bitterly as I opened the door of the music room and headed to wait for Alice outside of the history room. The bell would be ringing soon and I couldn't face returning to the classroom just to pretend like everything was normal. I was fast coming to the realisation that my life would never be normal, or drama free. It seemed there was always going to be something. Vampires, ex-boyfriends, werewolves, tenacious reporters. It was endless.

I slumped against the cream brick wall. The bell would be ringing in.

_3...2...1..._

On cue the shrill chime rang out through the school and with it an almost collective sigh of relief from the human students.

In a flash Alice was at my side with my bag in her arms and this week's homework assignment in her dainty hands.

"So?" she asked expectantly.

I explained every detail, except for one. I turned my involuntary jump into a one of investigation. I didn't tell her that I was pulled disorientated and unwilling to a place I had never been. Instead I told a little white lie and made out as if I meant for it to happen. I knew I would have to confess to someone soon about my irregular jumps but I had bigger problems to deal with first.

"Bella's brother is here?!" I could see her trying to hide an excited smile.

"_Half-_ brother, and he can't know about Bella, or you, or me, or any of us. At the moment he just thinks I'm some magic freak and we both know it's better he thinks that way rather than knowing the truth." I spoke in hushed tones as the humans chattered around us.

"Can I not just have a little sneak peek?" I knew even though she asked she wasn't serious. For all the quirks Alice had she was never reckless.

"I don't know what I'm going to do," I said as I brushed my hand through my hair. It felt like it almost crackled with the way the tingle's residual electricity laced my skin.

"You do what you said you would do. Stay out of his way, go home, and wait until he leaves town. There's nothing more you can do." She touched my hand encouragingly before leaving my side to leap into Jasper's arms.

"Trouble?" he asked as he took my emotional reading.

Alice replied before I had a chance, "Dylan's here."

Jasper's face held shock for a fleeting moment before it returned to its usual impassive gaze. " Can you handle it?"

"I think so. I've just got to stay out of his way until the day ends."

"Are you going to be able to do that?" Jasper said with a small sympathetic smile.

"I'll have to. I have no other choice."

Somehow knowing there was no other way of dealing with the situation than cutting Dylan off made it seem so much harder to do.

"It'll be hard, giving him up, but you have us," Alice reassured me when she saw the frown on my face. As her and Jasper left for their next lesson she gave my hand a squeeze has he ruffled my hair, a wave of calm leaving me in his wake.

As I made my way to maths with Rosalie in B block I glanced out the corridor window. There he was, climbing into his rental car, his hair fluttering slightly in the wind. He wasted no time in starting the engine and leaving the car park. Part of me watched him drive away with sadness. It would be the last time I would see him and it was such a fleeting moment.

From that point onwards the day passed without event. Rosalie was uncharacteristically kind as she told me I was doing the right thing which confirmed my suspicion that Alice had already informed all the Cullens. I wondered briefly how Bella felt about knowing her brother was in town but any concerns I had about her tracking him down were dismissed when Ren spoke of the situation.

"You have to get rid of him, Sarelle. He's a threat to the secret and we can't have the Volturi on our tails." She hissed in a show of a rare calculating mentality.

"I'm aware, and as I've told the others, my coven and I will handle it," I said sternly. There was something in her tone that rattled me. For all the admiration I had for the Cullens and the respect I held for their advice this issue was one that affected me and the Denalis more than them. Ren's imposition made it seem that we were incapable of dealing with it.

"Good, because I won't have anything putting my family at risk," she finished with an almost haughty glance. We sat in silence for the rest of the lesson and I was glad to be home by the time I stepped out of Emmett's jeep and wove my way through the forest towards home.

_Are you ok? - E_. I read as I scanned the text on my phone. His concern brought a smile to my face, but I quashed it and shoved the phone back in my pocket. Something far more important had caught my attention.

I slipped swiftly around the side of the house, making my way to the rear entrance, all the while enraptured by the conversation taking place on the front step.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Miss Novak. I was wondering if I could speak to Miss St Clair." Dylan pretended to look at his notepad, as if reminding himself of my name as he spoke to Tanya. Only outsiders used her human alias name. To us she was only ever Tanya, but to this sleepy town she was Miss Tanya Novak, reclusive art historian for the local museum.

I scaled the back of the house, into my room, and raced to the front of the house. There was a large window that sat above the porch and offered me the perfect view of the front step without being seen.

"I'm sorry Mr..." Tanya paused and Dylan produced a journalist ID.

"Dyer, Dylan Dyer. I'm with the Connecticut Post and I'd love the opportunity to talk with her. We're doing a piece on the talented youngsters and I've heard amazing things about her." Dylan clearly wasn't nervous about talking to Tanya. Then again I wondered how many unnerving people he had spoken to in pursuit of me.

"I'm sure this Miss... St Clair - it was St Clair wasn't it? Anyway I'm sure she would be thrilled to hear about your interest but no such girl lives here." I heard the creak of the door as she went to close it but wood hit against leather as Dylan placed his foot in the way.

"Miss Novak, or should I call you Tanya."

I imagined the stony look Tanya would give him.

"OK we'll stick with Miss Novak." He would be flashing his cheeky smile now and using the easy charm he'd inherited from Phil. That endearing disposition that would let him get away with murder. "Anyway, I've asked all across this sleepy little town and oddly there was barely anyone who knew much about you, your family, or those you associate with. Now, you're an attractive woman so I found it hard to believe that you would go by unnoticed, and I was right. You see, I paid a visit to this little bar and can you believe my luck when I stumble across two boys. One named Ben Maunder and another called Jamie Welter and they said that they'd had an unforgettable night with two lovely ladies matching my description. Neither they've seen since, but both they knew lived together out on the edge of the bay. How did they know that you ask? Well seems these boys like to hike and one day they were out here and they happened to see these two lovely ladies go into this house." His speech ended on a triumphant note and I wondered at the expression on Tanya's face.

"So Miss Novak, don't bullshit and bullshitter." Dylan added with a chuckle in his voice.

"She's not going to like that," Kate muttered from the lounge.

"I didn't realise he would come here. At least not so quickly." I returned as I edged a little closer to the window to try and catch a glimpse of Dylan.

"Tanya will handle him," Eliza reassured as he stepped out his room towards me.

All the while Tanya had put Dylan down with such an abrupt rebuttal that I wondered how he had the courage to continue but he did.

"Look I'll level with you. I am a reporter but I'm not on a job. My mother was a friend of Sarelle's. She died and she gave me this letter." I heard a rustle of paper being pulled from a pocket. "I have searched for what feels like my whole life to find Sarelle. So I'm sorry for being rude but I'm not leaving this house until I speak to her."

"I appreciate your candour and tenacity, Mr Dyer-"

"Please, call me Dylan."

Tanya sighed but it was more amused than weary. "As I was saying, Dylan, I hear what you're saying and I'm sorry but I really can't help you. There's no one called Sarelle here."

"So those boys just imagined her did they?"

"They must have seen my sister, Kate." Tanya called her name and at a slow human pace Kate sauntered down the hallway towards the door. I glanced down the stairwell and gave her an apologetic smile. What had started as a mild inconvenience I thought I could hide away from had quickly escalated into an issue embroiling more of the coven.

"This is my sister." I wondered what Dylan's reaction must have looked like at being faced by the two stunning women. "Kate say hello to Dylan Dyer, he's looking for some girl called Sarelle St Clair. Have you heard of anyone called that?"

"Sarelle St Clair?" Kate replied with a confused inflection. "What an unusual name. Can't say I've heard of her though." Her tone was apologetic and in response I heard Dylan release a disheartened breath.

"Fine, if that's how you want to play it. I understand." There was a shift on the gravel around the front step and if I had a heart it would have leapt knowing that I had come so close to seeing Dylan again yet so far.

"I'll go but all I ask is that you take this." There was a crinkle of paper and I knew he must have been holding out Renee's letter.

"I've told you, there's no Sarelle here." Tanya returned defensively.

"I know, but if she's not here then she's not anywhere so I've got nothing to lose giving this to you. It's not like I'll forget what it says. I must have read it more than a thousand times. I couldn't forget the words on it even if I tried." He sounded so tired my soul ached to make him smile. "And if she is here then at least I've tried." No sooner had the words come out of his mouth than his figure was retreating up the driveway towards the main road. As he climbed into his car and the door shut below I released my grip on the window frame, hearing the way the wood creaked. Five imprints showed where nerves had tightened my grip.

In a flash I was down the stairs, hands out for the letter he had given Tanya.

"I think I kind of like that boy," she said with a wistful grin as she twirled the letter in her hand. "Are you sure you want to read this?" She asked as she held the letter protectively.

Desperation bubbled in my throat. "Yes. I have to. Please."

She held it just out of reach as she gave me a careful look of consideration. "If I give this to you, you understand that will be the end of this. Don't you?"

"Yes." I gasped as she finally relinquished the letter to me. It's fine texture felt like silk beneath my fingertips. The subtle sheen showing it had been well worn through multiple readings.

"We'll give you some time," she stated as the others moved off to the things they were doing before Dylan knocked on the door.

I padded into the piano room at the far end of the hallway, just off from the lounge, and lowered myself onto the chaise longue by the vast window. The letter felt precious in my hands, a treasure I hadn't known existed.

Avidly I read the ruby read words I recognised as Renee's handwriting.

_Dylan, my son, my little ray of sunshine._

_You and the girls have just left. God knows what you must have thought of your silly old Mom. I must look a wreck lying here. No make up on. Hair a mess. You'd think the nurses would help a woman out and at least keep me looking half decent. I suppose they have more important things to do._

_Listen to me. Rambling on about make up and appearances. I didn't write this letter just to complain about the lack of style in the hospital. I have a far more important reason for this letter._

_I know we don't talk about her often and I'm sorry about that. I guess I thought it was for the best. To keep you safe. To help you move on. Those reasons don't seem right now. They don't make sense. Not a lot does. I think it might be the drugs I'm on. I was watching that show your Dad loves the other day and I couldn't understand a thing that was going on but laughed nonetheless. Everything seemed funny. Anyway, I've gotten lost again..._

_Sarelle. Sarelle St Clair. Just her name brings some clarity. Odd as that sounds when you hear the things I know. I will probably sound like a mad woman but I promise you it's the truth. Sometimes it's the one thing I'm sure of. You know she has a secret. I think you've always known. All those questions you used to ask when you were younger. The way your eyes would light up at the slightest mention of her. You think me and your Dad didn't notice? That we didn't know you would hide at the top of the stairs when you'd said you'd gone to bed? You might know some things but I think it's about time you know it all..._

I had to stop myself from grasping the paper too tightly as I realised just how much Renee had revealed to her son.

_Sarelle is a time traveller. Yes you read that correctly. A time traveller. Don't ask me how she does it (I realise you couldn't even if you wanted to as you probably won't get this until I'm gone) but she is what she is and I have known about it since your sister Bella was around 2 years old. I doubt Bella knows. Although who knows. I don't even know if my own daughter is alive yet alone is she knows the truth about this world we live in. You know she's different. Sarelle that is not Bella. So maybe this news won't seem as ridiculous as it looks on paper._

_She comes to see me sometimes. She's different. So different that sometimes I wonder if she's really here but I'm almost certain she is. It's not been easy for her I think. There's a look she gets and I just know. Maybe it's mother's intuition. That's how long I've known her. Long enough for me to know she's not as she once was. She's seen a lot that girl. More than you and me could ever imagine. But it's not just the things she's seen that's changed her. There's something about her physically that's different from you and me. The way she moves, the lilt of her voice. She's the same girl but she's something else as well. I never asked and she never told me but I remember how cold she was and how firm she would feel whenever we hugged. Like living marble but graceful. A beautiful porcelain doll._

_Not just a life but an adventure. That's what she's had. And sometimes people like us get left behind. Not forgotten. Never forgotten. But left in this time because we can't go with her. We can only wait._

_I used to always be waiting, before you and your Dad came along. Always waiting for her to turn up. Life was so boring back then. So hard. And then your Dad came and then you shortly after and I wasn't waiting anymore. Are you still waiting? I hope you're not. Those girls and Callie deserve more than a man half there. You know that. Hopefully this letter will give you some piece of mind, stop you waiting._

_It's getting dark now. You'll be home with your girls. Callie will probably be making dinner, much better at it than I ever was. Isn't she? You mustn't lose her, Dylan. Put Sarelle aside for once and for all. She'll understand. She always did._

_They'll be coming for the night rounds soon so I should finish this before they read it and think I'm a crazy lady. I know you'll have questions but for once you can't ask them. You have to keep this secret. Keep it safe because then you'll be safe and I want you safe._

_Be happy, my sunshine son._

_Love you lots,_

_Mom._

The paper dropped from my fingers and fluttered to the polished wooden floor. As it went it flipped, and I snatched at it when I saw Dylan's words inked on the back.

_Sarelle if you're reading this then you know what I know and I'll know that I made the right choice. You might have guessed that I didn't take my mom's advice. I tried. I really did, but I guess that Higgenbottom curiosity won out. You know what I'm talking about. Mom said you always teased her about it._

_I don't know where I'll find you, or when, but I hope it's soon. I know you're alive, somewhere, some time, some place. Don't ask me how. I just know. It's in my gut. A journalist's hunch. That same hunch that told me you weren't an ordinary girl. I mean, how could I ever think you were? Not the way we were introduced. I'll never forget that day. I'll never forget you._

_If you're reading this then please find me because I've spent all these years trying to find you and I think it's about time you repaid the favour._

_Dylan._

A weak smile lit my face at his final cheeky note.

Aslo's scent washed over me as he came to my side.

"Tanya told me what happened." His eyes were still bright from the hunt he had just returned from.

"He never stopped looking. Even when Renee told him to. He never gave up."

He perched on the chaise beside me and gripped my knee until I looked him in the eyes. "I know that tone, Kvetina, and I'm telling you now it's nothing but trouble."

I bit my lip to try and hide the swirl of thoughts in my head. Of course Aslo knew what I was thinking. Even with Edward's gift he always knew. "If I just talk to him. Explain. He can move on with his life." My voice is hopeful but those hopes are dashed when the others rush into the room.

"No, Sarelle. You can't," Eleazar said firmly. As they crowd around me I feel claustrophobia closing in and the my innate stubbornness rears its ugly head.

"He already knows everything. It would be no real risk. I would be careful."

"You can't honestly believe that's a good idea, Tinkerbelle." Garrett chipped in with his usual casual drawl.

"I'm with Garrett. It would be foolish to go running after him, just when he's finally given up." Aslo's stare almost convinced me but there was something about the way he was agreeing with the Denalis that riled me. He was my Aslo, my mentor, my friend, the only person who was truly mine and had been for years. Yet here he was, siding with the coven I had found first, as if I was the outsider. A rush of jealousy hit me and with it came a bitterness that coated my words.

"You've always been distrustful of humans! All because of some ridiculous notion Derren drilled into you. He made you turn your back on your own kind!" I explode as I leap from the chaise and stand my ground opposite the stunned group in front of me.

Aslo rises slowly, controlled, despite the fire I can see flickering in his irises. It's a fire that only ever appears at the mention of Derren's name.

"Humans are not my kind," he hissed. "I am a vampire, something other than them. I always have been. Derren made me see that." The respect that is layered on Derren's name made me release a snide snicker. I may have understood that respect if I had only ever heard of how Derren fell in love and died because of it. However I had learnt more of the man since so I found it difficult to understand Aslo's idolisation of him.

My reaction only angered Aslo more.

"But you, Sarelle, you cling on to this idea of being human to the point that you're willing to risk everything just to pretend for a day. You are not like them. You never have been, even when you had a beating heart warming your veins."

His words hurt, but what was worse was the flicker of agreement crossing the faces of my coven. I saw by their expressions that they were all thinking what he was saying, and that they knew he was the only one who could ever say it.

"Honey, how will you explain the differences he sees? I might not know him like you but going off the man I just met I don't see how he won't have questions. Questions only lead to trouble. Trouble that we can't afford to land on our doorstep. Not again." Kate's reasoning laid heavy on me and I knew they were talking about the Volturi. Still I hoped.

"I caused him pain, I am _causing_ him pain. I just want to give him some resolution. Something to end the mystery in his head." I pleaded, me against them. I had never thought of them that way but now that they stood opposite me I wondered if that small difference had always been there. Was I ever truly part of this coven?

"You can't do that. He's followed you for 20 years, do you think he will just accept what you have to say? Do you think he'll just go back to the white picket fence and trophy family without a second glance?" Aslo countered as he took his place beside Tanya.

"I don't know that he won't." Even I heard my petulance and Aslo rolled his eyes in a way that he knew had always irritated me.

"Don't be a fool, Kvetina. You saw his reaction to you last time you got too close."

"He was practically unconscious, injured, disorientated and I didn't have time to explain."

Tanya stepped towards me, her tall slender form seeming taller than normal with the commanding air she portrayed. "This is a matter than concerns the coven, Sarelle. We decide as a whole and that decision is final. I know this pains you, sister, but there is nothing to be done. Sometimes stories don't get an ending, sometimes they never get finished and that is just how it has to be." Her tone was friendly but firm. The tone she uses that identifies her as the head of our coven.

I pleaded as I saw hope slip through my fingers. "If any of you still had people from your past you would not ask this of me. You would understand."

Eleazar smiled at me sadly. "Perhaps, but we have all given up those we once loved. Now the same is asked of you. For the safety of this coven, you have to give up the family of your past to protect that of your future."

I looked at them now, Tanya and Aslo standing side by side, not touching but a show of solidarity nonetheless. Kate and Garrett had positioned themselves on the chaise longue, learnt forward anxiously as they watched me in anticipation. Lastly Carmen and Eleazar stood wound together, as if they were one person. Eleazar's eyes watched me with reassurance whilst Carmen showed compassion. As I examined the six vampires before me my anger subsided. I knew they were just looking out for me. I had always known it, in the same way family protected those they loved no matter that it may hurt them at the time. How long I had search for family and yet here I was throwing their love back at them as if meant nothing. Shame chilled me to my core and with it my defiant stance drooped.

"I know, but I will hate to watch him leave nonetheless."

"We are sorry for your pain," Carmen said as she came to me and wrapped her arms around me.

"I know."


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:Slowly, slowly picking up speed. Promise :P**

_5th February 2048._

The days went swiftly once the decision had been made. Before I had noticed time going by it was Monday again. Three days had dissolved into the past like sand running through an hourglass. I kept my promise. I didn't go to Dylan. I didn't even mention the argument we'd had. I merely sat in my room, going through the Floridian days in my diary and looking at the photos I had of Dylan and me. I tried writing him a letter but thought better of it. It would have just been a slap in the face to those I loved. I had promised them I wouldn't try to contact him and unlike the many promises I'd made in the past, I planned to keep this one. I had to say goodbye to him and goodbye to everything I once knew. It was something I had tried so hard to hold on to, to the point that memories from my past became more important than those of my present. The people of my present. It couldn't continue any longer.

With a defeated shrug I gathered the photos neatly and returned them to the box in my top drawer along with the others. School would be starting soon and as always I would need to meet the Cullens at the main road at the end of private drive.

"See you later, Tinkerbelle!" Garrett called from the sofa as I made my way out the door, my book bag slung on my shoulder. I wondered what football game he had bets on this time as was a regular occurrence. He had a habit of betting on the underdogs, something Kate teased him for.

As I reached the road, one of the Cullens cars streaked past. I noted Rosalie and Emmett in the front while Bella, Ren, and Jacob sat in the back.

Their volvo pulled up and I climbed in the front with Edward. The tension was palpable, made worse by Jasper's gift seeming to amplify it.

"What's going on?" I asked as Edward's foot hit the gas. It was a good thing we all lived so far out of town otherwise someone may have heard the way the tyres squealed on the tarmac.

"Just a little family dispute, but it will all be sorted out soon. Won't it, Edward?" Alice said sweetly, although I noted how her voice tightened as she directed it at Edward.

His hands clenched the steering wheel tighter. My own twitched in my lap as I fought the urge to place it soothingly over his on the gear stick.

"She had no right to talk to me like that, Alice. I'm her father," he growled through gritted teeth.

"You can't fault her on her desire to protect her family," Jasper added, calm pulsating off him. "Although I'll admit her methods are a bit drastic."

Dylan's face flashed in my mind coupled with Ren's words yesterday. _You have to get rid of him... I won't have anything putting my family at risk._

"What has she done?" I gasped, my eyes widening as I look between my three companions. We were closer to town now, and I noticed that Edward was visible tense from having to adhere to the speed limit. It was obvious he wanted nothing more than to put his foot down and just drive.

"She hasn't done anything," Alice chipped in hastily, obviously aware of my panic.

"Thanks to you!" Edward snapped. "If you hadn't been watching, who knows what she would have done."

Thoughts of Dylan dead flashed through my head and with them a fear clenched the pit of my stomach.

"Let me out," I spluttered frantically. I had to make sure Dylan was safe. No matter that Ren's plans had been thwarted, it wasn't to say she wouldn't try again. It was already evident that she knew of ways to dodge the gifts of her family. If she was able to hide her thoughts from Edward then it was highly possible she knew how to avoid triggering Alice's gift.

"There's no need to worry, Sarelle. We've made it clear to Ren that she's to leave Dylan alone," Jasper assured me but it did little to settle the sick feeling I had inside.

"I understand, but I'd just feel happier if I can make sure for myself." I grabbed my bag and made to reach for the door handle. I would leap from the car if I had to, although I doubted it would do much to preserve our anonymity.

"He can't see you," Edward reminded me, and I nodded. I had no intention of breaking the promise I'd made to my coven, but this was different. I had promised not to speak with him, not to let him see me, but I hadn't promised not to protect him.

"I just want to make sure he leaves safely. That's all."

He slowly pulled the car over in a nearby bus stop just behind a school bus. I watched as students I recognised from school filed off the bus and made their way the couple of blocks towards the high school.

"Do you mind walking from here?" Edward asked.

"Yes. That'll be-" I started.

"Not you." Alice interrupted. Edward glanced at me as Alice and Jasper stepped gracefully from the car.

"I'll watch for him, and let you know if anything changes." Alice told me with a reassuring smile.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it. Just make sure you're back for maths second period otherwise you'll have Rosalie to answer to." With that she shut the door with a grin and linked with Jasper as they sauntered down the street, mingling with the other students.

"You didn't have to come with me," I said quietly but Edward merely reached for my hand and wrapped it around his above the gear stick.

We drove in silence like this as we wound slowly through the streets to a motel near the business centre of town.

"How did you know he was here?" I asked as Edward killed the engine far enough away for us not to be seen but close enough for me to have a clear view of the navy rental car and Dylan sitting on the motel bed flicking through cable TV channels.

"Alice's vision pin pointed this as his location." He sounded flat as he spoke of the vision and I wondered if it was disappointment that caused it.

"How come Bella was riding with Renesmee? Surely she doesn't condone what she was she planning?" My opinions of Bella were far from pleasant but I didn't think she would let any harm come to her half brother.

"No, she doesn't, but she thinks I was too harsh on Nessie. She thinks Alice got it wrong. That Ren thought of it for only a fraction of a second and that was what caused Alice's vision. Not that she was ever planning to kill him."

"And you?"

"I think I've learnt more about my daughter these past months than all the years I've known her." He had yet to look at me, speaking instead as he stared out of the window at the other motel rooms and the various occupants inside.

"Maybe Alice did get it wrong. Ren may be protective but she's not vindictive." As I spoke I drew circles on his hand with my thumb.

"I hope so because that girl I saw in the vision last night was not the daughter I love."

We fell into silence and I watched Dylan closely. Several times he checked the watch on his wrist, or pulled at the tie he had fixed around his neck. By the time he stepped up to the window and peered outside irritably the navy tie was already skewed in a knot.

I tensed as his blue eyes seemed to scan the car park. All he would have to do is peer beyond to the busy shopping mall car park and he would see Edward and I.

"This is difficult for you," Edward said as he finally turned to look at me.

"Does it make me a bad person to want to talk to him? To find it hard to give him up for the sake of the others?"

"No, love."

"But I have to do it, don't I."

"It's just the way it has to be."

Dylan sat back on the end on the bed. His head falling into his hands as his elbows rested on his knees. Even from the distance we were at I saw how the heels of his palms rubbed at his eyes. I just hoped it was with a lack of sleep rather than tears.

Tears of my own burned my eyes, gathering but never falling.

"I just wish I could explain to him. I wish I could tell him he's right. That he was right all along. That I didn't abandon him through choice, that he didn't imagine our time together. I want to sit and tell him everything and hear about his life. I want to laugh at his silly jokes and tell him he swears too much. I want to talk about Renee, and ask about Phil, and see the look on his face when he talks about his little girls." I dragged in a shuddering breath. I finally said all the things I wanted to say to the Denalis but couldn't because I knew they wouldn't understand. Perhaps even Edward wouldn't, but I knew at least that he would listen and forgive me for saying the things I shouldn't. For wanting the things I shouldn't.

"I can't say that I know how you feel, because I don't. I have never had to walk away from someone I've known in my previous life. But those who have say it gets better. Or if not better then easier." I tore my eyes from Dylan and found Edward's focussed intensely on my own. "All I can say is that at least knowing they're alive and happy is a consolation of sorts. Because not knowing, or believing the worst... that is the worst kind of hell." The way his eyes held mine told me he was speaking of the years he spent believing I'd died. I felt a twinge of guilt that I was sitting here complaining about having to watch Dylan go back to his family without ever seeing him again, when Edward had watched me go never knowing where I went to or if I survived.

A door shutting broke our gaze and my eyes shot straight to the motel. Dylan was making his way to his car, his head bowed and a frown on his face. He was leaving, but I clung to the knowledge that when he was far from here he was safe, and maybe he would be happy. I hoped with all my heart that he would be happy.

"You're making the right choice." Edward confirmed.

"I know," I said softly as Dylan's engine started with a splutter. "But it hurts nonetheless."

With that we turned and headed for the school. I would be back in time to have English with Edward but my last lesson of the day was gym with Ren and Jacob, and that thought made my gut churn. The relationship she and I had built had been souring ever since she showed me the Cullens' document about me and this most recent turn of events had done nothing to repair it. Still there was part of me that wanted to be her friend. To show her that there were other ways to deal with problems such as this without rushing to rash solutions. I could remember the early days of our friendship when I had genuinely enjoyed her company. The days we'd sit in the small clearings in the woods and practice the different fighting styles I had learnt, in the same way Aslo had taught then to me when I was still a newborn. Or the way we had sat talking of the legends of the world or the ancient languages that had long since been forgotten. That girl was still so bright and clear in my mind, but there was a darker side there now that questioned whether that girl was real at all or merely another vision Ren had designed and placed in my mind.

Edward gave my hand one last squeeze before we exited the car and we headed off to A block for English. I had barely stepped through the front door of the school when Rosalie thrust a sheet of paper at me.

"You left me to deal with Mr Thompson alone so you're doing my algebra homework."

I chuckled, relieved that her abrupt manner helped ease the ache I had at watching Dylan leave.

"What if I cause your grade point average to drop." I teased.

"When you look like this, who really cares about your grade point average." She flicked her long golden hair as if demonstrating her point and I couldn't help but laugh. For all her vanity and sharp tongue Rosalie had a way of distracting you that was more than welcome right now.

"You've done what you needed to do, I presume?" she asked nonchalantly as we manoeuvred through the corridor.

"Yes."

"Any word from Alice?" Edward asked as we rounded the corner, our classroom at the far end whilst Rosalie's was off to the left in B block.

"Of course not. You would know if there was." Rosalie huffed but her features softened as she spoke. "Nessie's sorry, Edward. You know that. She would never have hurt him. Not really," she said quietly.

"We'll discuss it later. We've got to get to class."

"So long as discuss doesn't mean throw a tantrum and break another piece of furniture." Rosalie replied, her eyebrow raised accusingly as Edward brushed his hand through his hair bashfully.

"I'll replace Esme's armoire."

"Good." Rosalie replied sweetly before turning on her stiletto heels and sashaying away to class.

"She has the nerve to berate me over one broken armoire when hers and Emmett's tally is well into the hundreds," Edward muttered.

"I don't want to know." I chuckled as I thought of the stories I 'd heard about Emmett and Rosalie and their more amorous activities.

"No, you really don't," Edward drawled with a pained lopsided smile.

The rest of the say passed without event. I kept my mind off Dylan as best I could and as the day wore on it got easier. Instead I focussed on the students around me and the obvious change that had occurred in the short time I'd been away from the school. Banners filled the walls, posters hung in every spare space, chatter was constant and focussed on just one subject, and for once it had nothing to do with me or the Cullens. The Valentine Dance was coming to Colter Bay High School. The news of the school dance had ramped up the usual chatter.

I sat smiling as the conversations around me in the library seemed to make the air vibrate with excitement. It was in this state that Rosalie found me in my free period before lunch, hard at work over the maths homework we'd been given.

"Urgh, homework is such a drag. I've just had to waste ten minutes doing an essay for English," she said as she slid elegantly into chair. She managed to make even the cheap chair look shabby chic by her presence.

"At least you've done all of this before. I've been doing homework for half an hour now and I still haven't done algebra."

"Pass it here."

"No, I have to learn." I chided as I pinched the paper back.

She smirked as she flicked her hair and lent back casually. "Don't be such a goody two shoes."

"Did you come over because you could smell my confusion or was there another reason?"

"Alfie." She stated simply.

"What about him?" I asked as I started filling in the answers on algebra questionnaire.

"I'm sure Aslo has mentioned this." I nodded as I remembered the conversation Aslo and I had when we first discussed me going to school and the possible problems that I may face. "You have to be careful, just don't get too close."

"I know and I will be. It's just nice to talk to someone who's human and I think it will help with my thirst" I replied. Alfie and I had hardly spoken but I knew part of me was curious to get to know him better.

"To be honest I don't know why you'd even want to go to school. It's so boring, I'd much rather pretend we're home schooled than attend this place day after day."

"It might not be a bundle of fun but it's nice having something to do everyday. Plus have you heard of the school dance coming up soon." I grinned mischievously which grew as Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Oh god yes, please just don't mention it to Alice. She hasn't tried to make us attend yet but as soon as she hears someone else talk about it she'll be rushing us off to the dress shops in minutes."

I widened my eyes innocently as I asked, "Oh, so you don't want to go?"

Her stare was not amused and I giggled as I teased her further.

"Well then I guess I'll just have to go alone." I sighed sarcastically.

"You have got to be joking."

"It might be fun."

"It will be a sweaty hall with a hundred overemotional teenagers all blabbing on about some inane part of their lives that seems so very important to them. It's dull really." She lamented with disdain.

"But you get to wear a pretty dress, Rose. Think of the pretty dress and all the people looking at you in that pretty dress."

"I'll think about it. I'm sure Bella will be thrilled." Her tone of voice suggested thrilled would be the last thing Bella would be.

"How are things between Bella and Edward?" I was curious given how they seemed this morning. It appeared to me that their perfect family was faltering.

"Just wonderful, as always." I wondered if I had imagined the bitterness in her tone.

"Is it hard? Looking in on what they have?"

"At times, but I'm lucky. Renesmee may be their child but to me she is as close to a daughter as I will ever have. As for Bella. I have accepted her as part of the family, and I will defend her if she's ever threatened but I don't think I will ever respect her or see her as a true sister. Not after she threw away so much."

I nodded as she got up to leave with a wave. I would see her at lunch but I assumed Emmett had text her to come save him from boredom. I understood what she meant by the difference between Bella and the others. All of us bar Bella had lost our lives to vampirism under duress. We hadn't given anything up, it had been taken from us. The difference in that was monumental.

The cafeteria at lunch was practically buzzing with the hum of voices discussing the upcoming event. Girls talked of shopping trips and boys they hoped to be asked by whereas the boys plotted how best to spike the punch bowl. It seemed no matter what era it was, the idea of a dance still sparked excitement. Even Alice had been affected.

"Come on, it will be so much fun! We hardly ever get to go" Alice was pouting as Jasper just chuckled at her excitement. She had been trying to persuade us all to go ever since we'd sat down at break.

I had nothing against going to the dance, but I didn't want to be the reason the other's got dragged into something they didn't want to do. Then again it would be nice to go to a proper high school dance. I had never had the chance.

"Alice, we don't go for a reason. It's a waste of time just sitting watch the boys ogle the girls whilst they prance around in dresses." Rosalie was obviously a bit cynical of the idea.

"But Sarelle hasn't been to a school dance before, do it for her, Rose," Alice was giving Rose puppy dog eyes and I had to laugh. She used me as the reason to go and yet it was blatantly obvious she was the one who wanted the experience. "You did it for Bella." Alice tagged on in a sly move that got Rosalie's eyebrow raising in accusation.

"Don't drag me into it." Bella slipped in from whatever conversation she was having with Jacob and Ren.

Alice huffed comically as if Bella's comment was an utter betrayal.

"Jas, make her want to go, pretty please. I want to get all dressed up." Alice looked up at her husband with a pleading look, and I saw him buckle a little before he caught the look on Rosalie's face and the anger he no doubt felt coming from her.

"You dare to mess with my mood for the little pixie and you'll regret it." Jasper laughed weakly at being caught between the two women.

He looked towards me and Emmet as we sat silently watching the little argument. He really was torn and the others were keeping out of it.

Emmett was snickering at his situation since for once it wouldn't be him getting the punishment.

"Alice, I really don't mind not going." Alice gave me a look that shut me up instantly.

"Don't be so self sacrificing, Sarelle. You can't miss your first proper school dance. It's an American tradition. One we should respect." Emmett chuckled at his little sister's determination. For someone so small she never backed down until she got her way.

As Jasper gave a sigh of resignation I had a feeling this would be another time when Alice would end up victorious.

**A/N: Thanks for reading!**


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: I'm still writing this but it is taking some time as I am working full time so spare time is hard to come by. Don't give up on it yet!**

The coming week I spent more time buried in Alice's closet than I did out of it. She was taking the school dance as the perfect opportunity to flex her fashionista muscles. It was nice to do something so ordinary after the turbulence that had shaken up my life since the Cullens arrived last July. As with Carlisle's charity ball Alice had free rein over everyone's outfit, and since I would be attending the dance with the Cullens I had allowed that control to extend to my own outfit. The only aspect she had little control over was the colour. That had already been decided as soon as Alfie and I decided we would attend together.

As I looked at the blood red satin dress draped on the hanger I reminisced over the peculiar friendship Alife and I had developed in the past week and the moment we decided to go together.

_I went straight to the seat beside Alfie as I entered the history class with Alice. We hadn't been allowed to return to our previous seating arrangement, much to Alice's chagrin._

_She gave me a woeful smile as she slid into the seat beside Simon._

_"Hi." Alfie whispered beside me. Since our first proper conversation last week he had become more confident around me. Not that he had much choice. Since watching Dylan walk away I had taken to talking at Alfie until it got the point that he started to return the conversation. Maybe it was transference, but all I knew was that since Dylan left I felt the need to prove I could still interact with the humans around me. I wanted to blend in, not segregate myself to the Cullens company._

_"Hi," I returned as I arranged my books and pens on the desk. "Did you listen to that composer I told you about?"_

_"Yeah I did. Took some searching but it was worth it. How did you hear about him?" He toyed with his notepad as he spoke. It was one of the many things I had started to catalogue about Alfie. He was never at rest, always fiddling with something as if it were inherent for his fingers to constantly be moving._

_"I'd just heard of him, a while back," I said offhandedly. He didn't need to know that I had in fact known the composer when he was still working 150 years ago._

_"You're different to other girls." Again his green eyes pierced mine as he seemed to search for something to sate is curiosity._

_"Am I?" I asked innocently as I started to slowly copy down the work on the board. One hazard of working beside humans is that everything had to be done painstakingly slowly._

_"Yes," he said with the hint of a smile._

_I chuckled as I replied, "you don't give much away, do you?"_

_"Neither do you."_

_"I suppose, so I guess we've each met our match." At this his tentative smile became a blinding flash of pearly white teeth and dimples. It was a shame it was so fleeting but through my time spent with Alfie I had learnt such obvious signs of emotions were rare. He was capable of a mask just as impassive as my own._

_"I guess we have." He paused, twisting his pen around in his fingers as words seemed to stick on his tongue. "So, maybe, we could... I mean maybe we should... instead of forcing other people to, not that you would have to force someone-"_

_"Class, you should all have the questions written down from the board so now I want you to discuss them in relation to the pages we've been reading." Mr Powers bellowed through the room, cutting Alfie's words off has quickly as if he had stolen the air from his lungs._

_Despite asking him, he never finished what he was going to say and instead retreated back to the boy who hid behind his black hat and shaggy black hair._

_It wasn't until Alice skipped towards me with a knowing smile on her face that I learned the intention behind his stuttered words, "He'll be wearing an all black suit and blood red tie. Very stylish, especially for him." She said with a wink as she nodded in Alfie's direction. He was loping down the corridor with his usual long strides and head hung low. It was almost comical to see a boy so tall try to shrink amongst the crowd._

_"To the dance?" I asked._

_She rolled her eyes as she replied, "Yes to the dance. He's hardly the type to turn up to school all suited and booted." She took on a wistful gaze, "Although it would be so nice if they all did."_

_"Alice, I can't go to the dance with him. It's too risky."_

_"Why? It's just dancing, barely that the way some on them do it these days," she said as we continued to slowly follow Alfie towards the library._

_"Rose will have a field day." I grinned as the idea settled in my mind. Would it be so bad to go to the dance with a human? The others all had dates, dance partners to while away the hours. Why shouldn't I have the same?_

_"And you will look divine in red." Alice finished as she pushed me lightly in Alfie's direction before spinning to leave, blowing a kiss as she went._

_"Alfie!" I called as I jogged lightly towards him, my feet as light as a feather._

_He spun with a look of shock as he glanced down at me. "Sarelle, I didn't hear you coming."_

_"Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." I brushed my hair behind my ear nervously. I had never asked a boy to an event before. Yet another experience this school was giving me._

_"I was just wondering.." I started as students bustled past us, some gawping as if surprised I conversed with anyone other than the Cullens._

_"Yeah?" Alfie prompted as he tried to hide the blush on his cheeks. It seemed the attention I was drawing to the two of us was very much unwanted on his part._

_"Would you go to the dance with me?" I rushed out with a smile. A few more students in our nearby vicinity gasped and immediately started conferring about how my asking must have been some kind of joke._

_"What?" Alfie stuttered as he stared at my with a dazed expression. His lower lip hanging slack in his surprise._

_"I know we don't know each other that well but apart from my family you're the only other person I know here." I stared up at him, wide eyed and hopeful that he might snap out of his daze and answer._

_"You want **me** to go to the dance with **you**?"_

_"Yes." I beamed._

_"Me?" He pointed at himself as if to clarify and I chuckled at how adorably insecure he was. Perhaps there was something I could do about that in time._

_"Do you know another Alfie Hutton?"_

_He leaned down a little closer and I held my breath against the smell of his blood, so clear above the fresh scent of his soap. No other products mingling in my senses. No hair gel, or overpowering aftershave. Just him, clean and untainted._

Luscious._ my mind whispered as my mouth watered. I swallowed stiffly._

_"Is this a joke?"He said in a voice so small that I cringed against the knowledge that there must have been several past occasions when such a thing would have been a joke. When others ridiculed him for his love of the unusual. I could relate to such a feeling and it fuelled my desire to help him even more. I was determined that by the time the dance was over, Alfie Hutton would be the envy of all of Colter Bay High._

I snapped out of the memory with a smile on my face. He had eventually understood that I wasn't joke, although he had continued to check with me each day we saw each other. As if I would change my mind.

"If you don't get dressed soon we're going to be late." Alice sniped as she peered out of her dressing room.

"Do you actually believe that, or do you just like being bossy." I quipped as I glanced at her over my shoulder, my hair cascading over my shoulder in neatly styled waves.

"A bit of both."

In a matter of seconds I had slipped the dress on and eased my feet into the black velvet heels Alice had picked out for me.

"I knew vintage Ralph Lauren would look gorgeous on you. You're so lucky to have the bust to fill it out." Her voice tinkled in my ear as she passed her petite hands around my waist, retying the sash to her liking.

The red silk felt as supple as a breeze against my skin, floating playfully above my knees. the deep V mirrored on the back sank into a fitted waist that was accentuated by the delicate red bow at my side. It was far from the seductive dress I had worn to Carlisle's charity event but it was perfect for tonight. Young and flirtatious without being intimidating to the others around us. Alice had yet again struck fashion gold.

"Don't forget your bag." She called over her shoulder as she disappeared to check on the rest of the family. She was like a fashion dictator, ensuring all in her path were dressed with the greatest of style.

I turned a grabbed the black crystal heart shaped bag, checking its contents against the checklist in my head.

_Lipstick, money, ticket, phone..._

"You're missing something," Edward said as he slipped into the room and headed towards the dressing table. Leaning ever so closely as he reached for a black crystal bracelet.

"I was just about to do that."

"Allow me," he said as he lightly took my hand in his, sliding his nimble fingers up to my wrist where he fastened the glittering chain. Electricity raced on my skin as I watched him intently skim his eyes over my outfit. His eyes burned when they met mine, his fingers sliding down to link with my own while his other hand reached to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

I stepped away with a sigh, painfully aware of the others in the rest of the house.

"You look nice," I commented, and he did. In fact nice was far too nice a word for the way he looked. Ravishing was better suited but far less appropriate. He stood a stark contrast of black Italian suit and midnight blue shirt. The shade brought his coppery brown hair to life.

"You too," he murmured as his eyes cast over my outfit. "Alfie won't be able to keep his eyes off you," he finished, and something in his tone told me Alfie wouldn't be the only one.

"We should go. Before Alice throws a tantrum," he said offhandedly as we exited the room and made to join the others downstairs.

"Why on earth would she throw a tantrum? It's only a dance." I chuckled as Edward turned to me with a grin.

"We said that of the prom of 2015," he said in an aside.

"Esme had to retile the entire marble ground floor thanks to the way she stomped her feet." Emmett added, his face alight with a smile as he greeted us in his dark grey suit.

"I suffered too!" Alice called as she came from the living room with Jasper, a vision in shimmering gold satin in contrast to his stark black and white. "I broke the heel of my favourite Jimmy Choos." She pouted but I couldn't help but laugh.

"So is this why you never again attended school dances?" I asked as the rest of the group gathered, each dressed impeccably. I even conceded that Bella had turned out well in her flowing midnight blue dress. Perfectly matched to the colour of Edward's shirt.

"It may have played a part." Jasper added, quickly followed by a loving kiss upon Alice's head.

"That and Jake spiked the punch at the last dance and let's just say a couple of the jocks got a bit handsy with Rose," Emmett said with a laugh.

The group chuckled and I glanced towards Jacob. He had dressed with converse on his feet, plain black trousers, and a slightly unbutton white shirt. A cheeky smile lit up his face and for the first time I thought perhaps I was seeing the real him. All the previous meetings he had seemed tense and wary, but I wondered if it was because of the other company rather than his personality. Now as I watched him chat amongst the group, interact with them, I noticed how warm he was. Was it possible that he had just taken on the job of guard dog previously? Cautious of the strangers infiltrating his pseudo-family? I would never fully understand the dynamic within the Cullen family, or how wolf and vampire coexisted in such close proximity but I thought perhaps I now stood a chance at understanding Jacob, as a person rather than just a wolf.

We left soon after. Once Esme and Carlisle had taken photos with even the Denalis and Aslo coming to see us all off. It odd to be so old yet feel so young. To be attending an event without the safety net of Aslo or any of the Denalis. This was the first event I would be attending masquerading as part of the Cullen family and it felt strangely significant. Like some test of our compatibility. Was there room for me in this family with Bella, Jake, and Ren present? Did I still fit?

I touched my locket that hung gently against my chest as I stepped out of the car, followed by Jasper and Alice while Rose and Emmett fishtailed into the car park in the Mercedes. They always knew how to make an entrance.

"Do you want us to wait with you?" Alice asked as we gathered in the car park.

"Don't be ridiculous, Alice. She's a century and a half old vampire." Rose said with a roll of her eyes as she took Emmett's arm and went to go inside.

"Oh I don't know Rose, maybe we should be here when the boy arrives. Make sure he knows there'll be no funny business." Emmett voice boomed as his eyes glinted menacingly. "Can't have anyone taking liberties with my sis."

"Plus we don't want her looking like a loner." Alice piped in again.

"Just go inside. Please." I sighed with exasperation, shooting a pained smile to Jasper who grinned and slowly moved Alice to the entrance. Rose was doing the same with Emmett although every now and then he twisted his head round like a toddler trying to get one last look at a toy.

To my relief Alfie's car turned up at the same time as Edward's so when Edward and the others came towards me I had the distraction of Alfie to stop me from seeing the mild disgruntlement in Edward's expression. I could still hear, however, Ren's tinkling voice expressing her excitement and complimenting Alfie on his suit.

And she was right to because he looked so utterly transformed from his usual attire. Gone was the black beanie hat and ripped black jeans. Instead he stood in a black suit that, despite its off the peg origins, fit him well. Beneath he had a black shirt undone slightly at the top to reveal a sliver of his alabaster skin. And finally, setting off the outfit was a blood red pocket square tucked in haphazardly to his suit pocket. He seemed to stand a little taller when his green eyes met mine and I smiled at the notion that all it had taken was a good suit to make him realise that he was worth looking at. That it wasn't sure a bizarre thing for me to want to be here with him.

I waited patiently as he made his way towards me, his black dress shoes crunching on the gravel.

"He looks nice, doesn't he?" Ren commented as they made to pass me.

"Yes he does." I replied with a warm smile.

"We should go inside." Edward said stiffly as he moved his group to meet the others.

"See you soon" I called to them just as Alfie approached. "That is quite a suit, Mr Hutton." I said with a grin.

"That's quite a dress." He all but stammered, a blush coating his cheeks.

I swallowed reflexively.

"Thank you," I said softly as a beamed at him. It all felt so normal. Just a boy and a girl going to a dance. I loved it.

"There's just one little thing I've got to do."

"Runaway?" He asked, half joking. Another reminder that he probably hadn't had it easy in high school.

"No, silly," I said as I reached for the scrunched red fabric in his pocket. "If I don't fix it, it'll bug me all night," I chuckled as I removed the red satin and smoothed it into shape between my fingers and returned it to his pocket. My hand warmed at the feel of his heart pumping loudly in his chest.

"You fold pocket squares, you listen to classical music, next you'll say you can dance a waltz." He teased with a wry smile.

"Well.."

His eyes widened as he chuckled in disbelief. "Are you sure you weren't born in the 1900s?"

I laughed lightly in the hope to disguise my discomfort. Had I given away so much as to ruin my 'ordinary teenage girl' fascade?

"We should go inside, I guess. Can't do much dancing out here."

"Plus you must be freezing. I can't believe you didn't bring a coat." He replied as we made our way to the double doors. A pinkish light shone through the windows as loud chart music seeped out the gaps. I linked my arm with Alfie's as we both opened the door and were hit with the heat of the many bodies, the scent of sweat and sweetness, and the stares of the entire student body.

My composure faltered ever so slightly and I wondered for a moment if this valentines would turned out to be a bloody one.

**A/N: Thanks for reading!**


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

"Everyone is staring," Alfie mumbled with a gulp.

"Just ignore them." I whispered as I scanned the crowd, noting the exits just in case. "Would you like to dance?" I asked as I spun away from the gawping crowd and looked at the black haired boy towering above me. The momentary confidence he'd had out in the car park had faded and I could see his shoulders slowly starting to stoop as the staring continued.

"I can't dance to this," he said as a slow song gave a pleasant break to the usual synthesised pop music.

"I'll show you."

I gave him no time to argue as I stepped towards him and lightly placed his hand on my waist as I rested mine on his shoulder. He would notice my cold hands in his but I hoped that he would attribute it to the near freezing temperatures outside.

"Isn't this a bit old fashioned?" he said as he stood awkwardly. I bit my lip as I realised I'd shown too much yet again. I should have just looped my arms around his shoulders and swayed but I much preferred it this way. It felt comforting. I made to step away as I mumbled about old habits dying hard.

"Sorry I didn't mean it like that. I like it." he said with a small smile as he grasped my hand a little tighter. I saw his brow crease slightly as he registered the cold of my skin but he didn't pull away and as we started to move I felt myself relax. I revelled in the warmth of his skin against mine. The way he moved so awkwardly that he could be nothing other than human. There was inhuman grace or fluidity. Every time he stood on my toes I smiled a little more because only he could do that. Edward never would. I liked that Alfie was so imperfect, so unsure. It was endearing.

We were silent for a few moments as he focussed on moving his feet in time with the music. I was glad he was able to find something else to focus on rather than the stares that still stayed glued to us.

"You look really beautiful by the way." He rasped as if his words got caught in his throat. "I know I kind of already said that but I just wanted to tell you again." He chuckled nervously and I smiled once again.

"And you look very handsome. In fact I think I might have to share you tonight given the way some of these girls are looking at you."

He blushed again, dropping his head so his shaggy hair tickled my forehead.

"Anyway..." he said brushing the compliment aside as if he couldn't accept it. "You always have that necklace on, does it mean something?" He asked looking at the locket nestled on my chest. I hadn't thought of a way to explain the locket so I paused momentarily when he brought it up. It had become such a part of me that I had never thought other people might wonder about it.

"It's a gift from my parents." I thought it best to stick as close to the truth as possible.

"Your mom and your step dad?" He said reminding me of the peculiar back story that had been concocted for me.

"No my birth parents. My mother and father. Just something to stop me missing them."

"And the rings?"

"They're wedding rings, before they were separated." Again, mostly true. He didn't need to know that I did the separating part.

"It must be hard, losing your family like that then moving over here." His green eyes bore into me but I was good at shutting down by now. I'd had enough practice doing it. Edward had made sure of that.

"This is home now, and it's not so bad. I have Aslo and Carlisle and his family."

"Aslo? Is he that guy who came with you to visit?"

"Yes, my step brother."

"He seemed pretty intense."

I grinned. What would Aslo have said if he were here. I could just imagine the way he would roll his eyes and sarcastically comment.

"He's a big softy really."

"I'll be honest. I thought he was your boyfriend." Alfie stammered and I found laughter bursting from me at the idea while Alfie smiled at me in a daze, his mouth ever so slightly agape.

The staring slowly started to subside as the minutes turned to hours. As the awkwardness washed away, Alfie and I actually had fun. We danced to music neither of us particularly knew. We laughed about the various dramas that unfolded, such as when one girl saw her allstar American boyfriend dirty dancing with one of her friends. We relaxed. **I**relaxed. Of course eventually the Cullens caught my eye and I knew they'd been patient enough. They'd kept their distance so as not to overwhelm, but it was only fair that they would want to meet Alfie. If only to vet the potential risk he held.

I lightly touched his shoulder as we stood by the punch bowl, him helping himself to another cup while I stood by his side.

"Are you sure you don't want some?" He asked. "It's actually pretty good this year."

I wondered briefly if Jacob had something to do with that.

"I'm fine, promise. I was just wondering if you'd mind if I check in with my family."

"Oh sure, do you want me to wait here?"

"Or you could come with me. I know they'd like to meet you. Alice especially." I said with a bright smile as I thought of all the times she'd looked over wistfully in history. Desperate to talk to the human boy with the scruffy black hat.

"Alice Cullen wants to meet me?" he stammered.

"And Jasper, and Emmett, and Rosalie, and..." I continued in a teasing tone. His eyes bulged at the mentioned of Rosalie's name.

"R-R-Rosalie Hale wants to meet me." His nerves were endearing and it was obvious Rosalie's good looks had an effect on him.

"Oh she is going to love you." I laughed as I imagined how she'd preen at the attention. "Come on."

I spotted the others across the room so I lightly grasped his sleeve and manoeuvred him across the hall. They each turned to look at our arrival. Even Ren and Jacob who had been dancing nearby stopped and glanced.

"Hi,"

"Well if it isn't the two love birds." Emmett grinned mischievously and I sent him a sharp glare.

"Everyone this is Alfie." I said as I pulled a little further forward. He smiled weakly. I wondered if it was actually fear of being in the presence of monsters that was making him clam back up, or if it was the nerves he'd shown in the early days of our friendship.

"And Alfie this is..."

"I know who they are." He managed to force out in what sounded more like a whisper but then he cleared his throat. "It's nice to actually meet you. Never really talked before, but everyone else would talk about you." He balked and blushed and I saw the others swallow just as I did.

"I don't mean talk about you in a bad way, although I guess sometime it's maybe in a bad way, but I never... I mean... Hi." He shoved his hands in his pockets and I saw his shoulders hunch.

"He's chatty isn't he." Emmett teased, too quietly for Alfie to hear and I sent him a glare before quickly giving him a swift nudge for him to behave himself.

"Given how nervous he is I'm amazed he even managed to speak." Jasper added, merely a whisper.

"We really shouldn't be talking about him as if he isn't here." Alice scolded lightly.

"Why? He can't hear." Emmett responded.

"Still, it's rude." She finished before producing a bright smile and skipping to Alfie's side. Such a short space of time had passed that her actions seemed to startle him.

"Hi, Alfie, nice to finally meet you."

After that he seemed to relax. I heard him chatting with the others about various teachers or students. They were going easy on him, except for Emmett who revelled in seeing the way Alfie's eyes widened with fear a little every time he came near.

"Would you like a drink, Sarelle?" Alfie asked as I stood talking with Rose and Edward.

I heard Emmett's booming laughter as I politely declined.

"Emmett, he's going to think there's something weird going on." I hissed but I couldn't keep the smile out of my voice. Tonight had been too much fun to get mad.

"Saz, he's too smitten to see how weird you are." Emmett teased as he snickered as a I gave him a playful punch on the arm.

"He isn't smitten." I grumbled, knowing I'd be blushing if I could. My fears of not fitting in had dissipated and now seemed ludicrous as Emmett taunted me like a brother would his sister. Like he used to in Belmore.

"Stop taunting the poor girl, Em, just because the boy looks good in a suit," Rose said with a cheeky smile at her husband.

"Oh you think he looks good in a suit, do you?" Emmett retorted with a sly grin as he pulled Rose in for a dance. "Any boy can look good in a suit. I've got skills he can only dream of." He growled into her neck as he whisked her away to the dance floor leaving Edward and I standing on the sidelines.

I looked over at Alfie and saw him dancing with a smile on his face with Ren while Jacob ad Bella laughed together on the other side of the room. Both watching the pair. Ren was trying her best to let Alfie lead but I could see her itching to take control.

As I watched them moved I felt Edward move to my side, his hand lightly touching the base of my back where my dress dipped sensually.

"You look lovely tonight."

"So do you," I replied with a smile. It fell from my face when Edward's expression flinched slightly, flashing a glance at Ren and Alfie dancing together.

I followed his stare and noticed Ren looking at us over Alfie's shoulder. No sooner had I caught her looking than she flashed me a smile and appeared to turn her attention back to Alfie. He seemed to be in his element, his heart pounding and his eyes almost glassy with enjoyment.

"Your daughter seems to be stealing my date."

"I'd much rather believe she's still only a child." Edward cleared the suspicion from his face and forced a smile. I imagined he wasn't enjoying the thoughts passing through Alfie's head has Ren twirled into his chest.

"I can imagine it must be hard to let her go."

Edward chuckled lightly, "you should have seen me at hers and Jacob's wedding."

I laughed at the thought of Edward's clenched fists as he watched Jake whisk his daughter off. When my giggles subsided I noticed Edward gazing at me out the corner of my eye but I refused to indulge myself here in front of everyone. I couldn't look at him because I would too easily forget where I was and that could be a very dangerous thing.

"Can I see you later? At the cliff?" He asked in hushed tones, leaning down ever so slightly to whisper in my eye. Shivers ran down my spine but I managed to nod infinitesimally. Already the butterflies in my stomach fluttered at the idea of having him alone. Being able to drop this act of friendly indifference and just be with him.

As the song ended I took my chance to escape the temptation that hung like static between us.

"Would you mind if I stole Alfie back for the next one?" I asked Ren.

"Of course," She replied wit ha smile that almost seemed false, although I couldn't figured out why it would be. Still Ren was a quite the enigma recently.

_Why him?... What's he got that I haven't?... How has he got all the Cullens swarming him?..._ I heard coming from the surrounding students as I took Alfie's hands lightly. The curious, appreciative, looks from the other girls told me that my plan to change Alfie's luck in this school was working. It was amazing how people's opinions could be so easily swayed.

Three songs later, Alfie gave me a tired smile and pointed to the door out to the courtyard. He obviously thought the msic was too loud for me to hear.

The cool air rushed at me as we stepped out. I heard Alfie shiver, and mimicked him in pretence. I followed him to perch on the bench, looking in to the hall packed with students.

"Are you having fun?" I asked.

He nodded with a smile but his eyes were focussed elsewhere. I followed his gaze and saw Edward and Bella dancing together under the spotlights. She really did look beautiful in her dress. It hurt but I had to admit it, they made a wonderful pair.

"They look perfect," Alfie said, as if speaking my very thoughts.

"Yeah they do," I murmured, fiddling with the end of my dress. A Necessary distraction.

"But they're not, are they."

I watched them, trying to see what Alfie was seeing but all I saw was the smile on Bella's face and the way Edward's hand lightly pressed to her back. They twirled and for a moment his eyes caught mine over Bella's shoulder. A moment so brief yet the warmth in his gaze held me in rapture.

"I've seen the way he looks at you," Alfie mumbled as he cast his eyes down to his fiddling fingers.

I scan the room through the glass and note the Cullens are otherwise occupied. None of them paying attention to the peculiar conversation happening just the other side of the window pane.

"I wouldn't know what you mean."

"It's like he's a blind man seeing the sun for the first time." Alfie's words are almost poetic as they send memories rushing to the forefront. The most prominent in my mind being the day I jumped from Belmore, leaving Edward behind. Our words had been so full of hope yet fruitless all the same. Still Edward's declaration whispered through my mind.

_"If this is meant to be the end then I refuse to accept it, and I will never accept it because the sun must always rise, Sarelle, it's inevitable."_

"You're sweet but I think you exaggerate, Alfie."

"No. I see things." He said with a vigour I had never seen him show before. "Things other people don't seem to notice." He turned on the bench to look at me and in that moment I saw he'd learnt more than he had let on these past few weeks. "Like when you introduced me to the Cullens. I noticed you said something to Emmett. It was fast but I saw the way the mood seemed to shift."

I felt my muscles coil in anxiety and I fought to remain my calm exterior. "You're perceptive..." _For a human, _I thought but bit my tongue against saying it.

"Why would he look at you that way? If he's with Bella?"

His questions raised ones of my own. As I watched them through the window I had to wonder why Edward loved me as he claimed to when he already had everything he'd ever wanted and more.

"I don't know." I replied weakly, pulling my gaze from the near hypnotic sight.

I saw Alfie's jaw clench as he looked at his hands "I wish, for once, someone would notice me like that."

For all the problems in my head that needed to be resolved, I knew I could at least help Alfie. For a boy who saw so much it seemed wrong that he himself went by unnoticed. After tonight, I hoped that would never again be the case.

I stood from the bench and tugged Alfie's sleeve to pull him with me. "Sometimes they just need to have their eyes opened." I said with a wink as I dragged him onto the dance floor. The crowd had thinned as shoes began to pinch, or the heat made energy levels wilt.

"Wrap your hands round my waist." I whispered with a smile, already eyes were flicking to our direction.

I leant my head softly on his shoulder, letting my hands drift to the nape of his neck where his curls tickled my fingertips. His heart rate thundered in my ear but it brought none of the burning thirst. I knew Alfie. I considered him a friend, and that brought a new level of understanding to my control. Carlisle had been right. Attending school had been good for me. Not just for the new experience I had gained but the way I had learnt to trust myself and my control. I had spent so long falling off the wagon that I had always had a part of me that second guessed my ability to control myself. A voice in my head questioning whether I could or should do certain things for fear of hurting someone. As I danced with Alfie in the middle of a crowded school hall, the scent of fresh blood heavy on the air, I felt calm. I was capable of being surrounded by temptation and ignoring it in favour of pursuing a somewhat normal life.

In my moment of revelation I looked around the room at the dancing couples. "Everyone is watching us," I whispered into his ear. I felt him tense. "Every girl in this room wishes she were with you, and every guy wants to be you. You believe no one sees you, yet here you are, the one thing they can't take their eyes off, and you're so completely unaware of it."

"How do you know that?" He mumbled as his eyes glanced around surreptitiously.

"I notice things too, Alfie, and more than you, I see what you can't. Yourself."

As the song ended and signalled the end of the dance, I leant back and placed a kiss on his cheek. His skin still soft and stubble free, belying his young age of 17.

"Thank you for the dance and being my date. I've had a lovely time."

I ignored the way his heart pounded against his ribcage in reaction to me being so close. The slightly dazed look in his eye disipated as he clearly his throat. "Me too. Are you busy over the holidays?" he asked.

"I'll be around, but I have a feeling you'll be busy." I said with a grin. Already a group of boys were talking about inviting him to a house party and their next band meeting. "I'll see you when school starts again."

I turned to leave with a small wave, and no sooner had I reached the door than he was engulfed by the small group that had been watching him. For someone who had spent so much time as an outsider, he fit the role of most popular boy in the school incredibly well.

My phone buzzed the instant I stepped outside.

_Cliff at 11 - E_

The clipped tone of the text suggested he'd typed it before Bella had noticed. As I saw his car leave the car park I felt that all too familiar thrill at the thought of seeing him later. The risk of the dangerous situation we were stumbling towards was becoming more and more evident. With Alfie having noticed the change between us I was very aware that the others must have noticed too, and if that were the case then it would only be a matter of time before Bella found out.

_It may yet be a bloody valentines. _

**A/N: Thanks for reading!**


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: It's been a while...**

"Why did you do it?" Edward's words sprang at me before I had even had the chance to step out of the shadows and absorb the scenery of the cliff top.

He was still in his shirt and trousers, but they seemed crumpled. As if his turbulent mood had somehow altered the very fibre in the fabric.

"It was harmless, Edward. It was just a kiss between friends." I said with a weary sigh. I should have known this was coming. He had seemed far too intent on Alfie and I throughout the evening.

"It looked like more to me."

"Then you need your eyes testing." I snapped; frustration rife in my words. "I'm sharply becoming irritated by this Edward. "Your constant accusations and hissy fits!"

His eyebrows shot up in incredulity "Hissy fits?"

"Yes, hissy fits." I shrieked with exasperation. How could a man so smart be so dumb. "Pointless bouts of jealousy over nothing. Do you see me pacing and fuming over the way you and Bella are together? Do you not think it affects me just the same to see you everyday, touching at the lunch table or whispering away in the corridor?" I glared at him as he looked at me dumbstruck.

"You never show..."

"Because you're not mine, Edward, you're hers." I looked up at the stars, looking at how they met the dazzling lights of the city below but disappeared from view in our little bubble of darkness. This safe haven. "This is the only place you can ever be mine and mine alone. This little bubble where the outside world doesn't seem to exist. That's it." I drifted to the edge of the cliff, looking out over the bustling streets and buzz of life below us. The quiet hum of civilisation. "I'm a time traveller by nature but when I come here I feel like I can go back to that time in Belmore without ever having to use my gift. Those months when it was just us and we were happy."

His hand caught mine as he turned me towards him, leaving reality behind me. "I may not be able to travel through time, but I don't need to. I just have to look at you, Sarelle and I'm right there." His eyes softened as his gaze met mine."In the meadow on those summer days, feeling you beside me as we sat on the piano bench, or walking with you through Belmore. Dancing with you in Rochester. Walking through the park in Chicago." With each memory I could almost see them play out in his eyes. Watch as the emotions flickered across his irises. "The night I proposed on the balcony, and the moment you said goodbye to me in the hospital. Memories I thought would be lost forever but have come flooding back over the years. Just one look and it's just us. If just for a moment."

He pulled me towards him as his fingertips grazed my cheek. For a moment I let myself just feel his touch, just to try and remember how it had felt when I was human. How my heart would skip a beat the second he touched me, or how my blood would rush when I caught him looking.

"I know I don't deserve to be here with you…" He shook his head as his bottom lip slightly trembled, "I don't even deserve your smiles… Not anymore. Not after what I put you through. I can't forget the way you looked at the wedding."

"Edward, where is this all coming from?" I was worried now, because he was literally breaking into small pieces in front of me.

"I left you behind. It had only been fifty years, I should have waited," he whimpered as he gazed deeply into my eyes, "I hurt you. I don't deserve this kind of attention." I began feeling him move away, and I panicked. I panicked because I didn't want him thinking that I didn't need him in my life, or he didn't deserve to be in my life because that wasn't the case. I gripped onto him with all my might, causing him to stay in place as I shook my head.

"Listen to me…" I forcefully said, quickly grabbing his chin in my fingers, turning his face towards mine, "I want you in my life. I don't want you pulling away from me like that. And I definitely don't want you to think like that. Alright?" I said in a hard voice, "I lost you once. I won't lose you again."

Edward looked up to me with agonizing gold eyes, "I was so lost without you," He whispered through his hard lips. I could feel him trying to pull back, but I wouldn't have it. We had a whole life of immortality. Why not spend it with each other?

We stared at each other with deep and unbearable passion, because who the hell knows how we spent all those years without each other. I didn't want to relive it again.

"I need you." I gasped through my lips as I nodded my head, "and I promise no matter where this life takes me, I won't leave you again." I promised with the utmost assurance in my voice. I was here to stay. No matter whom I may be with in the future, or what may happen to Bella and him. I would always be here, "I promise I will stay with you forever." And I meant that in every sense that it possibly could mean.

His forehead leant against mine as he whispered, "forever and eternity."

My fingers played with the soft wisps of hair at the back of his neck and I listened to the contented hum as he sighed. His nose nuzzled my neck and I felt my stomach flutter at how close he was. Just one shift of movement and his lips would touch mine and I could through all care to the wind. Just a moment of recklessness.

He moved back, his emotions so open, laid bare. I can see it all, written on his face and it's like someone has taken the blinkers away from my vision. I feel like I'm seeing him clearly for the first time and what I see is an expression like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. It's entrancing.

His phone rings, breaking the silence around us.

"Time to return to reality," I murmured.

"I should take this, it's Ren."

I mustered a weak smile at his use of my nickname for his daughter. She had always been Nessie before.

On hearing her name my body jolted. It was a sudden surge that felt as if it shot up from the earth, using me like a lightning rod. Except when my senses returned I wasn't standing beside Edward anymore. I was in Colter Bay and it was daytime. Midday if I had guessed correctly. I looked around me disorientated by the sudden shift in time.

_What day is this? What year even?_

I floundered as I tried to find a fact to hold on to. I vaguely recognised the area of town, and it didn't look any different from the last time I was there which I could only assume meant this point in time was relatively close to the present. Whether that was close in terms of future or past I didn't know. I didn't even know why I was here, but then the past few involuntary jumps hadn't been particularly logical or demonstrative.

As I scanned the area from my place in the darkened alley I spotted Ren across from me at a battered payphone.

_Why would she use a payphone when she has the latest mobile?_

I stretched my hearing out of curiosity.

"It has to be a surprise," She whispered in hushed tones, so quiet even I struggled to hear them. That discounted the idea that whomever she was talking to was human.

_But what vampire would she be talking to? And what surprise was she planning?_

I knew hers and Jacobs anniversary was approaching, was this that far in the future? It made sense that she would perhaps use a payphone to organise something without him finding out.

My suspicions shifted as I left the shade and made my way towards her. I just had to find out what the date was, just some indication of why I was here. How far I had jumped forward. I couldn't go on thinking these jumps were random.

As I crossed the small square towards her, her back stiffened and I saw the way her shoulders tensed as she hurriedly hung up the phone. She had smelt my scent and it had unnerved her.

I felt an itch creep across my skin as the hairs on my neck rose like the heckles on a wolf's back. Was she just worried about Jacob finding out, or was there something more to her unusual behaviour?

"Hi, Sarelle," Her voice was almost shrill as she turned to greet me. "I thought I was meeting you and Esme in the antique store?"

Her eyes drifted over my outfit as confusion clouded her doe-like features. "Have you changed?" she asked.

There was something about her demeanour and the tone of her voice that told me to lie. If my gift had taught me only one thing during my human life it was to read people and right now Ren was reading wrong.

"I hunted so I changed before dropping some things off in the library." I lied faultlessly, smiling conversationally as my eyes dared her to question me further.

"Oh fair enough. I've just got a couple errands to run but I'll meet you and Esme later, yeah?" she said lightly as I nodded. She clearly hadn't believed me but her own guilt stopped her from probing further. She turned to leave, heading into the centre of town where my future self would no doubt meet her and Esme later. In that instant I knew Ren was one to watch. I just wish I knew why.

I felt my stomach flutter and hastily made my way back to the secluded alleyway just in time before the tingle exploded across my skin. At least this time when I came to I was within staggering distance of my bed.

I lurched at it as my body swirled and senses ran riot. I couldn't be sure but it seemed the jumps were getting worse, or at least the effects of them were. I had never felt this way before, so helpless. So human. Not since changing. Something had shifted and I felt it in my bones.

"Sarelle?" Eleazar gasped as he burst through my door. His eyes scanned the room wildly before fixing on me as I tried to nonchalantly lounge against my bed.

"Yes?"

"Are you OK? What happened? Were you attacked? Why did you jump?"

I blinked as I registered the daylight outside, not at all the midnight sky I had left behind at the cliff with Edward. "I'm fine. I just jumped."

Suspicion clouded his topaz eyes, "you never just jump. You run. You always run, and you usually bring half the forest back with you."

"I…" A frantic ringing cut me off.

"Hello,"

"You're OK." The clipped voice sounded down the receiver. Edward's voice.

"Yes, I'm fine. What is with everyone asking me that?" I chuckled lightly as I tried to avoid Eleazar's penetrative stare. I was fooling no one but I continued to try.

"Stay there, I'm coming over."

"No-" He'd hung up before my objection even reached his ears.

"Sarelle, what's going on?" Eleazar asked as I sighed and threw my phone down on the lavender bed covers. I had hoped I could figure this out without everyone becoming involved but it was quickly becoming clear that wouldn't happen.

"It's complicated." I said wearily.

"Nothing is that complicated that you can't tell those close to you."

"It would be easier for me to tell you all at once, are the other's close by?"

"They're in the nature reserve close to here. They won't have signal but I can find them in no time."

"That might be best."

"Will you be OK by yourself?" He asked as we descended the stairs.

"She won't be by herself." Edward's clipped tone said as he entered through the back door. Passing Eleazar as he made his way towards me. He stopped short, his muscled seemingly tensed as if he were holding himself back.

"I'll be back soon," Eleazar said as he left the way Edward had come.

Not a second passed before Edward's arms wrapped around me, so tight I could feel my arms crush into my ribcage.

"Thank God you're safe," he breathed. His voice close to breaking.

"Not for long if you keep squeezing me like this."

He released me for a second before grasped my cheeks in his palms, his eyes frantically watching my own. "You vanished. One minute you were there and the next… It was like you exploded. I thought you'd died. And I couldn't contact you. It was like you didn't exist." He rushed.

"But I do, and I'm here, and I'm OK. Honestly, absolutely fine. It was just a jump." I explained as I tried to calm him down.

"That was not just a jump, Sarelle. I remember what it was like when you jumped and that was nothing like it. There was so much energy; it was like the air around you was electric. It wasn't like that when you jumped for Carlisle."

"Fine, you're right. It wasn't a normal jump, but I'm not in any danger from them."

"Them? Please don't tell me this has happened more than once, that you've been keeping this from us all."

It seemed foolish to concern you all with something that it probably just a glitch."

"A glitch?" He shouted, frustrated. "We're vampires, Sarelle, not some piece of hardware. We don't have glitches."

"Look I don't know what it is, but I'm handling it."

"How many times has this happened?"

"A few."

"Sarelle, specifics. Now."

"Three times."

"What happens?"

"I jump, usually unprovoked. I stay for a few moments and then I jump back again. Sometimes on purpose. Sometimes not."

The look of horror on his face racked up my guilt. The panic was rife in his eyes.

"I can still control it, Edward. It's not like how it used to be."

"Who else knows?"

"At the moment, just you, but Eleazar knows something is up so I'm telling the others when they get back."

"Why did you never tell me?"

"Why cause worry when there may be nothing ot worry about?"

"After our past, Sarelle, you can't honestly tell me that you thought I'd rather not know."

My eyes cast down ot my feet. I knew how protective he was, how scared of losing me our past had made him. Maybe I had been a fool to think it was better he didn't know, but I when I saw the turmoil bubbling below his stony exterior I knew deep down that it would have been easier on him to have stayed in oblivion.

I reached for his hand, grasping it tightly in my own. "I'm OK, Edward." He pulled me into his arms, his nose nuzzling into my neck. "We're OK."

"I can't stand the thought of losing you. Not again."

"You never truly lost me, even all those years we were a part. We were just hidden from each other." I kissed his cheek lightly, as I soothingly ran my hand up and down his spine. His sigh tickled the wisps of hair at my temple but I wasn't allowed to revel in the shivers they caused.

"Get out." Aslo's voice growled as he stormed through the solid oak front door, leaving Tanya's grasp as he strode towards us.

Edward stepped out of my arms faster than I had hoped possible but from the way he tensed I knew It wasn't me he was focussed on.

"Aslo, he's just visiting. Calm down."

My words fell on deaf ears as he glared over my shoulder at Edward.

"Why are you here and not with your family? Why do you come to her when you have a wife and child at home?" his growls rumbled through the room.

"Aslo, that is out of line," I hissed.

"No I'm the only one talking sense and you know it, Sarelle. I've known you for a century and never have I seen you be so obtuse," he retorted bitterly.

"Don't talk to her like that," Edward interjected as he stood at my side.

Tanya stepped towards Aslo, her face tentative as she placed her hands on his broad shoulders. "Aslo, maybe this isn't the right time to talk. You should all just cool off." Her ever-shrewd gaze cast over me and Edward, questions clear as day on her porcelain face. Whatever semblance of secrecy we'd had these recent months had all of a sudden came to an end.

"Don't act as if you're some knight in shining armour, boy. You're worse than sin for what you've turned her into. " Aslo snarled as he shrugged off Tanya's touch. He and Edward stood face to face, each tensed and taught in their rage.

My eye's flit to Tanya but I could see she was as much at a loss I was as to how to proceed. I had never thought two of the most important men in my life could grow to hate each other so much.

"Aslo, please." I mumbled as the shame of the situation truly settled in.

His expression softened as he turned to face me, eyes so dark with rage but I could see the sadness and disappointment below the sparks. "It's like I hardly know you."

"Perhaps you never did. " Edward murmured and in that moment I knew I had never truly seen Aslo enraged. To see the speed he went for him,. The raw energy powering his body as he swung his fist back in preparation. In panic I did the only thing I could. I stepped in front of Edward and hope to whatever force there was above us that Aslo would calm down.

"Edward, I need you to leave." I hissed over my shoulder. I saw the hurt flash across his face but the way he had taunted Aslo stopped me from showing any remorse.

He was at the door in an instant but for a brief moment he paused and his eyes locked on Aslo "I came because she jumped. Against her will. I was worried. You might never have had to lose her, Aslo, but I have. And if she doesn't get this under control then we might all lose her." His words seemed to linger after he left, like they were so heavy that they left a trace in the air.

The three of us stood frozen, as if each trying to figure out what had just happened and how we were to react. Tanya was the first to decide as she gave me a glance and left the room. It was obvious Aslo and I needed time to sift through whatever was left of the relationship we'd once had.

He seemed to sag as soon as Tanya left the room. Like the air had been taken from him and he was just deflating before me. I watched as he slumped onto the sofa and leant forward to rest his head in his hands. His mahogany hair gleamed as the sun pierced into the room. Highlighting the red hues so often hidden in the cloudy weather we often lived in.

I knelt slowly before him, lightly resting my hands on his knees.

His eyes opened wearily, a murky haze of black and bronze.

"Is he right? Is this the girl you've always been? Has it all just been a mask?"

My heart broke then and there. "No, of course not. But I can't deny that after I changed I became a girl different to the mortal version I had once been."

"So this is what you were like in the years before your change, when you were with him. You disregarded others, followed a false future, betrayed your self-respect. All for him?" His voice strained and with each word I felt myself grow smaller under his gaze.

"You're right, I know you are." I turned to sit back on the sofa as the shame crept in. "I don't know how I got here. I shouldn't be here."

"We could leave, it could be like it used to be."

"But don't you see, I don't want to go back. This may not be the person I want to be, but I don't want to be that other girl either. Everything was wonderful when I was happy, but those times when I wasn't were the very worst."

"Those unhappy times only ever came when he was involved."

"And you would ask me to go back to being that way? Going through life until something reminded me of them, of him, and then suffering through the loss of them."

"You were just starting to move on Sarelle. The last ghost of their presence in your life had finally been and gone. You'd had forty years without them on your mind. If he hadn't turned up here...we could have been happy."

"Maybe you're right, maybe I would have moved on and maybe if I'd seen him again two hundred years from now I wouldn't have felt a thing. But maybe is no definite, there would still have been that possibility that this would have played out exactly the same way."

His hands raked through his hair, uncoiling the curls then letting them spring back into place. "I hate what this is doing to us."

"So do I. I wish I didn't feel this way but I can't stop it. I tried but there's this connection between us, inevitability. Maybe I'm misreading a complicated history as destiny but I can't shake the feeling that we're meant to be in each other's lives. Somehow. I need you to accept that. I need you to understand why I can't turn away from him, why he makes me happy, why I can live with the fact he has a wife and still comes to me."

"If this is how it must be then I would rather bite that bullet than risk losing you."

"If I could change the past, this future would be a very different place. Trust me. If I could do it, I would."

"I know." He sighed and reached for my hand, placing a kiss lightly upon it.

"Do you hate me?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around him and felt his mimic my actions.

"I could never hate you. It would be like hating a part of myself." He murmured into my neck.

"I feel the same."

"I hope you don't expect me to like him."

I laughed weakly with relief at his mocking tone. "No. I don't expect you to like him. Just don't try to kill him."

"I'll try."

We slowly parted but before I could get up to leave he held me still. "Is it true about the jumps? Are you losing control of them?"

"Not all the time, but yes."

"Can Carlisle help?"

"I don't know. I thought it was just a glitch but now... I think it's something bigger."

"What do you mean?" Aslo asked, and for the first time when discussing my gift, I saw genuine panic in his eyes.

"I mean there has to be a reason and I think it's something big. Something is coming and I think, somehow, I'm getting a warning." My mind thought back to my human life and the way I would get a clues to an oncoming jump. The way the tingle built or the vivid sunsets that seemed to burn all the brighter. It was as if there was a guiding force my entire life. Things never seemed to be random. I couldn't discount the idea that such a thing still existed.

It wasn't until hours later, once the Denalis and the Cullens had all gathered to discuss it that my notion now seemed to be more than that. It had been hours of going over facts and piecing together elements of my jumps but we were still no further forward. All I could do was sit and wait in my room as Carlisle analysed my early tests and called me with the results.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" Tanya asked as she entered my room, snapping me out of my reverie.

"About the jumping, or Edward?"

"Both but mainly about Edward."

"One day, probably when I had no other choice,." I said bashfully. She perched on the end of the bed, her eyes beseeching.

"I see you as my sister, Sarelle, how could you keep this from me?"

"How long have you known Bella, Tanya?"

"What does that—?"

"Just tell me, please."

"Since their wedding. But I knew of her since Edward came running after meeting her."

"So forty three years." I said into silence. "You've known he was married to Bella for forty three years, the vampire who saved you all from the Volturi if I've heard correctly. The wife of a man you've known for a century. The newest of Carlisle's beloved daughters. So ask me again why I didn't tell you."

"I understand, you know. She might be Bella and all those things might be true but your history is just as important as hers and it's you who I call a sister. Not just a friend." I cringed against the guilt I felt. Aslo had been right earlier. So right it hurt to even remember his words. I had completely disregarded the feeling of those around me, and for what? What was worth hurting my family over?

"I'm no stranger to adultery, Sarelle," Tanya continued, "and I know all too well that you can fall for someone against your better judgement. Sometimes you just can't help it."

"I'm sorry I never told you."

"Yes well, so am I. I can't believe I've missed so much delicious gossip."

I quirked my eyebrow. It was typical she would try to put a humorous spin on it.

"Oh, I'm kidding." She said as she opened her arms. "Come here." I crawled across the bed to hug her and felt the light squeeze she always did. "Just don't get yourself hurt."

She got up to leave but turned, "You know he isn't going to leave Bella, she's in too deep."

"I know," I sighed. "It's just something I have to live with."

**A/N: Thanks for reading!**


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